


Crave; Draco Malfoy

by rorynotsogilmore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BDSM, Blood, Death, Death Eater Draco Malfoy, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, Young Death Eaters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 164,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rorynotsogilmore/pseuds/rorynotsogilmore
Summary: Asya Karkaroff and Draco Malfoy.Both the same people; stubborn, toxic, numb.Consumed by the darkness that shapes their lives.Anger. The only emotion they can both truly express through the veils they wear.They crave it. They crave the fights. They crave the darkness. They crave each other. It is this craving that will change their lives.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	1. CHARACTERS

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: 
> 
> ** THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING SCENES. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. **  
> ~NOTE~
> 
> I got tired of reading about the same plots, so I decided to make my own. One that will leave you shocked in ways that you will crave.
> 
> There will be spice... lots... and lots... of spice (no vanilla ish). This story is a slow burn; as it progresses, there will be more and more spice. I will be writing Draco in a realistic way. He will have the perfect amount of toxic. At times you will hate him, and at times you will love him, so be warned. At the same time, Asya is just as toxic. Basically, they are both problematic.
> 
> There will be depictions of kinks within this fanfic (i.e., voyeurism, exhibitionism, knife kink, etc.). This story's plot will hit you like a truck. You will not expect it. 
> 
> Also, this takes place in Year 6 and the characters will be around 18 years old because I don't want to write spicy scenes for a bunch of underage horny teenagers.
> 
> This story is inspired by J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, so it won't strictly follow that plotline. I do not own any of these characters a part from Asya and Willow.
> 
> P.S. Please excuse any spelling and grammar mistakes. I am writing this for fun and out of pure boredom, but also because I love reading about strong female characters in books, so this is my chance to bring out the baddies. Of course, I am open to suggestions and constructive criticism. Please me respectful though :))
> 
> This is going to be an emotional rollercoaster. I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!
> 
> Also, follow my Wattpad @rorynotsogilmore

**Asya Karkaroff**

****

**Draco Malfoy**

****

**Willow Lozano**

****

**Theodore Nott**

**Blaise Zabini**


	2. NEW RULES

****

**Soooo, lets just ignore how bad the first few chapters are. I didn't think anyone would read this... But bear with** **me, the writing gets better, and the plot is _insane_.**

**This story is enemies to lovers. Like _I want to kill you_ , enemies to lovers. Why? Because I want there to be deadly tension between the characters. Makes the spice, the relationship, and the plot 1000000 times better.**

**Enjoy :)**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵  
**

Hogwarts.

What a pathetic excuse for a school. 

But since no other school will accept me, it's my only option.

After my father died, some things changed. People now _hate_ the Karkaroff name. Both the dark side and the light. 

Murder they said. I wasn't surprised when I received the news that my father had died. 

Everyone has a price to pay. He paid his price, now I'm paying mine.

The price of being his daughter. 

I had to leave Durmstrang after he died; it was the only way I could avoid the damage he had done—at least _some_ of it. It was the only way I could avoid _him_ —the only person I let make a fool out of me.And it was the only way I could succeed on the goal that was set for me since the moment of I was born. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵  
**

"And finally, we have a transfer student joining us this evening. From Durmstrang Institute, Asya Karkaroff." The doors to the Great Hall open, and all eyes turn to me.

I always have loved a dramatic entrance; especially when I hear students gasping at my presence.

A rush of whispers floods the room, and I can't help but notice a couple familiar faces from the Triwizard Tournament a few years back.

"She's a Karkaroff?"

"And she's from Durmstrang too."

"I heard her father was a headmaster and a death eater."

"They say it was murder."

"Apparently she got expelled."

"Do you think she's like her father?"

I walk with my head held high, my eyes fixated on Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. _Never_ will I let my father's mistakes shame me. 

"Silence! Please come forward Miss. Karkaroff." Dumbledore gestures to me, as I walk towards the sorting hat with straight posture. 

Although this is a rather intimidating moment for some, I'm not one to get intimidated. And by the fear I sense in this room, I can tell I have nothing to worry about. 

I _feed_ on fear. 

I walk up a couple steps, taking seat on a brown stool. Everyone is staring at me like they've just witnessed a death. Curious gazes surround me as Professor McGonagall places the sorting hat on my head.

There better not be lice in this hat. 

"Ahhhhh Asya Karkaroff... Very interesting... Loyal... yes very loyal indeed. And cunning. Courageous-- _too_ courageous. Ambitious. Very intelligent too; a strategic one you are. I sense a leader... you will accomplish big things... Perhaps I should place you in... Slytherin!" the sorting hat yells. 

Am I surprised? Not at all. My father always favoured Slytherins for their cunning traits and expertise in the dark arts, which is why he maintained close relations with their house head, Snape. 

Cheers erupt, along with more whispers. I get up from my seat, and notice Snape nod at me, to which I nod back. 

Snape and my father were good friends. He is a cold, dark man with many secrets. His black eyes pierce through your soul when he looks at you. He doesn't break character. It's what I admire most about him. Especially when he plays double-agent as an Order member, and a Death eater. After my father died, he frequently checked up on me, sending me letters asking how I was, and visiting me. Due to my age at the time, he had to become my legal guardian. Not that he wanted to. He made an unbreakable vow to my father before his death. I remember watching them secretly. Something about protecting me and continuing my training. At five years old, while other witches and wizards ate their chocolate frogs, discovered their magical skills, laughed and lived fun lives like the children they were, I lived under a strict routine. I trained against being weak to destroy the weak, so that one day, I would be ready to work alongside the _"Dark Lord."_

I walk down the steps, approaching the Slytherin table. My soft brown locks moving freely with ever step I take. Much better than having my hair covered by a fur hat. Durmstrang's uniforms were... well, thick and furry. Of course, given the climate there, it was necessary. I'm quite liking the Hogwarts uniforms though. High knee socks, black skirt sitting just above my knees complimenting my toned legs, grey V-neck cardigan with a white collared shirt underneath it, and a green tie.

As I walk towards the table, I notice a variety of different emotions. It's interesting. Some students look at me with fear, others with curiosity. The Slytherins... they look at me with a mixture of hatred and fascination. Before taking a seat, a girl jumps up from her spot and grins at me. 

"Asya, over here!" she waves, motioning me to come sit next to her, I quickly observe the girl. Short brown hair sitting just above her shoulders, matching her dark chocolate brown eyes. She looks annoying. If it's even possible to look annoying. 

I take a seat not next to her but across from her, I don't want her touching me. 

"Pansy Parkinson," she smiles enthusiastically, reaching her hand out across the table. I force a smile, shaking the tip of her hand. "This is Daphne," she points to a blond girl next to her. They both look at me in awe. It's disgusting.

"We've heard so much about you. You're as pretty in real life as you are in the papers." The blonde girl scans me up and down. 

Of course, being a Karkaroff means lots and lots of media. Good and bad. But after my father's death, and his involvement with one of the darkest wizards in Great Britain, people _really_ like to pay attention to my life. Especially that Rita Skeeter woman. Although... after a little disagreement we had about what she was going to publish, she got into a little... accident. How unfortunate. 

"Yes, well—" before I can finish what I am saying, I get cut off by the brunette, Pansy. And I _really_ hate getting cut off. 

"We think that someone like you should hang out with respectable, high-class people, like ourselves. So, we have decided to recruit you as a new member of our friend group."

I want to laugh. But I'm not sure what to laugh at first. The fact that the so called "respectable, high-class people" want to "recruit" me as a "member" to be their friend. The fact that she said "friend group" even though it's just her and the blonde girl. Or the fact that _she_ thinks _she_ can decide _for_ me.

I squint my eyes slightly, trying to understand her intentions "is this your way of asking to be friends with me?" I ask in a slightly mocking tone.

"Oh, we're not asking. We _want_ you to be friends with us." 

Nope.

I don't have friends. I have acquaintances. Every person in my life has a purpose in helping me progress. _Friends_ are for the _weak_. Sharing secrets, gossiping, opening up to each other about _feelings_ , until one day they stab you in the back and all is revealed. They use your vulnerabilities against you.

I smile at her sweetly, "Pansy was it?" She nods. "My friendships work a little differently. I don't get recruited into friend groups; _I_ recruit them. So, if you and" I twirl my finger at Daphne "her, want to be friends with me, I need to ensure you will be my loyal followers." 

Loyal. They both look far from it. But then again, I do need some connections around here, and they are practically looking into my mouth whenever I speak so that shouldn't be a problem.

She squints her eyes, staring at me hesitantly. I can tell she wants to snap back at me, but my stare is enough to change her stance "very well, whatever you need," she responds in a pained tone. 

"But—" her friends interrupts her, but Pansy elbows her as a warning. Smart move. With a sigh she replies, "of course."

"See, we're already getting along." I reply smartly, raising my glass to her before taking a sip of water while maintaining my eye contact with the both of them. I notice that Pansy's cheeks start to go red. I don't remember poisoning her, _yet_. Why is she so red?

"Hi Draco!" she chirps with a high-pitched tone. 

Draco? That name sounds so familiar... 

I follow her gaze, turning around to see a blonde boy glaring at me through his grey eyes, with a smirk growing on his face. The same blonde boy from last year's Masquerade ball. 

Every year, my father held a Masquerade ball, where he would invite prestigious families, all dark wizards or future dark wizards. It was a chance for families to mingle, but my father used it for business purposes and because he liked to show off his wealth.

I _may_ have hooked up with this guy. It's hard to remember every detail because I purposely got drunk to piss of my—

_I will not remember him. I want to gag just thinking about it._

But his cold grey eyes. That smirk. His ice blonde hair. I remember _very_ vividly. 

Without even asking me, he takes a seat right next to me. 

Bold move. 

He takes my hand in his hand, kissing the top of it "Asya Karkaroff" his eyes scan my body "you look... more mature"

Such a way with words. Now I know why whatever happened only lasted a night.

I quickly take my hand out of his grasp, leaving him with a confused look as I turn around to face Pansy and Daphne while taking another sip from my water. They both look at me with wide eyes as if I've just killed someone.

He is still sitting beside me, as I hear him clear his throat.

"Remember me?" He hints. 

"No." I retort, not looking back at him. I _do_ remember him, kind of. But why give him the satisfaction. I could care less; he is insignificant to me.

He leans in close to the side of my face, moving my hair back and whispering in my ear "Draco Malfoy, the one that made you--" before he says anything else, I take my wand out of the buckle on my thigh, poking his stomach, just enough so that he can notice, but others can't see.

"Touch me again and you're dead." I whisper with a neutral tone, smiling at him so that people around us don't get suspicious. 

He looks at me eye to eye, his arrogant eyes turning dark as I feel something poke my hip. His wand.

Motherfucker.

"Tsk, you haven't changed one bit. This isn't your house anymore, its mine. Here, we play by _my_ rules. And after the stunt's your _daddy_ pulled... Well, let's just say, he deserved to die, and you'll get what's coming for you very soon."

"Oi, Malfoy!" His friend calls out, signalling him to go to him.

Of course. Now I remember. Draco Malfoy. Son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. His father had frequent conversations with mine. So frequent, he would often visit my _training_ sessions... Him, along with many other death eaters, visiting me like I'm a statue in a museum.

His eyes remain glued to mine, and mine glued to his. The both of us staring at each other trying to break the other.

He smirks, staring me down with eyes that tell me this won't be our last encounter, before pulling his wand away from my hip and leaving with his friends.

I turn back to face Pancy and Daphne. Both glaring at me with rage. Especially Pansy.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

"How do you know Draco?" Pansy asks me.

"I don't." I reply dishonestly. I don't feel like explaining myself. Especially to _her_.

"That's not what _he_ said" She continues to pester me.

"Are you going to listen to him or are you going to listen to me?" I question her. "And _never_ question me again." I slide my glass to her, "drink some water and cool down, you look like you're going to explode." I say before getting up and leaving the Great Hall.

Apparently, I need to teach some people how to respect me. 

Gladly. 


	3. SILENCE

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I woke up feeling utter shit today. When I wake up like shit, I act like it too.

The dorm rooms here are... quaint. The beds need replacing. My back is aching.

My roommate barged into our dorm at four in the morning. I had just fallen asleep too, and then she comes in, smelling like weed, mumbling absolute bullshit, before passing out on her bed, still wearing her fowl smelling clothes.

So, here I am sitting in the common room curled up on the corner of the couch trying to fall back asleep. This better not be an everyday routine or I _might_ just hex her. No. I _will_ hex her.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I hear slight noises around me as a faint light peaks through my closed eyelids, darkening as a shadow hovers over me. Slowly I open my eyes, and I instantly regret doing so. 

Draco fucking Malfoy.

"You moan in your sleep" he whispers, his face inches away from mine, startling me as I grab the collar of his shirt, pinning him down on the couch.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I whisper yell at him, straddling him as I grip his wrists tightly onto the leather couch.

"Good morning to you too," he smirks, "dreaming of me?"

"You really have a death wish, don't you?"

"Depends. If I get to die with you on top of me, by all means, avada my arse. But I'm pretty sure you're the one with the death wish, coming here with your broken reputation."

I ignore his comment and get off of him. I don't want to go to Azkaban just yet. 

Before I leave, he gets off of the couch and pulls my wrist, turning me to him. 

"I don't remember saying you could leave." His tone is stern.

I get out of his grip and pin him to a wall, my wand at his throat. "I don't remember asking."

I smug look grows on his face as he looks down at my wand and back up at my eyes, switching positions so that now, I'm the one being pinned to the wall, with my arms pinned above my head. 

He moves close to my face, leaning down to whisper in my ear "You're already breaking my rules."

"I don't follow rules, you must know this by now." 

"Mhmmm, I know. You always loved being a bad girl. But I don't care" He leans in to the nape of my neck. "You still smell the same. Vanilla, jasmine, orange blossom. But you're missing something. My scent. That can be fixed."

"And you're missing a black eye. That can be fixed. I think it would really suit you too. The contrast of the dark colours of the bruise to the light of your eyes."

He pulls back. "You've memorized my eyes. But you have yet to acknowledge that night. I know you remember me," he glances at my lips. 

"Get the fuck off of me."

"Mhmmm, how about, no."

"Mhmmm, how about fuck off before I knee you. Not only will you lose your chance to continue the Malfoy bloodline but you'll also lose the only 2 inches of 'manhood' you have left."

"Ahhh, you should know how much 'manhood' I really have. You were the one begging for it. How was your recovery from that night? I apologize for not treating you with my signature Malfoy aftercare package."

I knee him right in the groin, leaving him crouching down to my height. 

"I don't beg." I smile at him, patting him on the shoulder before leaving the common room. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Defense Against the Dark Arts is my first class. Let's hope this class will help relieve my stress. 

I walk into the classroom early. Snape wanted me to meet with him, and I like to always show up early.

"Goodmorning Miss. Karkaroff. Class starts in ten minutes."

"Yes, I'm aware. _Miss. Karkaroff?_ That's a bit unnecessary don't you think? After all you _are_ my legal guardian."

"These are school grounds, lets act professional. I want you to keep your personal life private."

I ignore him and take a seat at the front of the class.

"I wouldn't get too comfortable; I like to make seating arrangements."

"You're joking right? I'm eighteen, and still being assigned seats. Pathetic."

"I would watch your tone with me. Guardian or not, I am your professor. Unlike how things were in Durmstrang, in Hogwarts, people will not follow your rules, you will follow theirs."

"Mhmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that. I have a special charm to me. People just _love_ obeying me."

I mean that in the most literal way possible. Part of my training requires specializing in many skills including occlumency, legilimency, and hypnosis. 

Though I was never allowed to use those skills outside of training, I still used them every now and then when I was in desperate need. Or when I just felt like it.

"You will not—"

"Yes yes, _you will not abuse your powers, especially on school grounds_. Blah blah blah, I understand. I've heard the same thing for years."

"You mustn't expose yourself. People are already talking because of your last name. And on top of that you got expelled. I keep telling you to stay hidden but you insist on stirring trouble."

"Yes well, what happened, happened. Too late to change anything now. I don't regret it one bit. I'd do it again." 

Especially if it means being able to _Crucio_ a rapist. Krum always liked being handsy with girls. He'd fuck them, then silence them with his _title_. Like that would work for me. He pressed one hand on my thigh during class and seconds later he was bawling his eyes out in pain on the floor. 

"You will not." Snape points his finger at me. "I am warning you, you will stay out of trouble. I will be keeping a close eye on you. You are here for one thing and one thing only. Remember that."

"Do I get a medal?"

"Excuse me?"

"A medal. Is voldy going to give me a medal for everything that I've done. After all, years of torture, training, _hell_ , just so he can grow a nose."

"Do _not_ speak of his name. Not here. Not ever. There is a purpose to everything you do. Do not forget that."

I open my mouth to snap back but Snape cuts me off "not another word. The class will be arriving shortly."

I roll my eyes and open the textbook, scanning through the content out of boredom.

" _This_ is what you'll be teaching us? I've learned all of this stuff before I could even walk."

"You learned that _stuff_ under special conditions. Not only did you go to a different school, you—"

"had a psychopath father who liked to kiss the " _Dark Lord's"_ arse, so he raised a literal weapon until he ended up betraying everyone. And look where that's gotten him."

"Miss—"

"Okay, okay" I raise my hands up, before students start to enter the class. 

"Hurry up, I don't have all day. I've written your seating arrangements on the board, so sit accordingly."

I squint my eyes to look at the names. 

_Shit_.

Well, looks like I'll be going to Azkaban later today. 

Apparently, Snape wants to play cupid. 

Right on cue, Draco and his friends walk in, Pansy and Daphne following behind them. 

I glance at them briefly before turning away and looking down at my textbook. 

"Are you following me?" Draco comments sarcastically. 

I ignore him, turning around to see Pansy sitting with Daphne a couple desks down. "hey" I snap my fingers to get their attention. "Tweedledee, Tweedledum come by my dorm later tonight, I have a task for you both." 

They both look at me with their mouths slightly agape. 

"Excuse me?" Pansy snarls.

"You're excused." I wave her off turning around to face the textbook again.

"Bitch." I here her mutter under her breath.

_Bitch?_

I immediately turn over to face her again "what was that?" I put my hand to my ear, daring her to say it to my face.

I notice Daphne gulping, tugging on Pansy's shirt to warn her. But Pansy doesn't look the least bit intimidated. 

That's a problem. 

"I called you a bitch."

I gasp in shock, placing my hand over my heart "ouch, that's not very kind. Didn't mummy and daddy teach you to respect your superiors."

"Look Karkaroff, you might have been under daddy's care at Durmstrang, but this is my school. I tried playing nice but you fail to understand that you don't make the rules around here."

" _Your_ school?" I laugh "Parkinson, who do you think funded your prissy little uniform, or this class that you're taking right now? Father was always generous enough to fund the..."I look at her up and down "less fortunate. Do you realize with the fortune my father left me, I could buy _you_ if I wanted to?"

She stares at me in shock; her cheeks turning red with anger and embarrassment. 

"See, now you've annoyed me and ruined my whole mood." I continue. "You talk too much; nothing I can't fix." 

I take out my wand "silencio." Her eyes are wide open as she tries to speak but can't.

"Much better." I sigh, "take notes Daph," I point my wand at her, just enough to scare her before—

"Miss. Karkaroff! Undo that spell this instant." Snape says in his usual monotone voice, but I sense a bit more aggression with it. 

I raise my brow at him, he walks up to my desk slowly "now" he elongates the word.

Rolling my eyes, I mutter "fine" under my breath before undoing the spell.

Pansy takes a deep breath before opening her useless mouth.

"PROFESSOR THIS IS ABSOLUTELY POPOSTEROUS SHE MUSN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS SHE JUST--"

"silencio" Snape casts the spell on Pansy.

I turn to look at him, with a smirk on my face I shrug.

Whispers erupt in the class, along with giggles. 

"SILENCE!" Snape whacks a stick on a desk.

"Read the assigned pages. I expect them to be completed by the next lesson."

Everyone is silent as they turn to their textbooks flipping through the pages. 

I already know everything. This class is absolute rubbish. I insist that I'm ready for whatever task I am given by Lord Voldy, but apparently no one has faith in me. All thanks to my disappointment of a father of course. What's the point of going to school if everything I'm being taught is useless?

I take out a piece of spearmint gum, unwrapping it and putting in my mouth.

As I start chewing, someone nudges my arm—Draco.

"What." I whisper to him.

He stares at me with amusement "you can't chew that shit in class, he'll make you choke on it" he whispers back, with a smirk.

Ignoring the underlying meaning of what he just said, I reply "Mind your business or I'll make _you_ choke on it." I smile at him, turning back around and popping my gum a bit _too_ loud.

Everyone's head turns up from their textbook. Snape snaps his head over to look at me.

I look down at my lap, biting the inside of my cheek to avoid smiling. Draco's face mimicking mine. 

Everyone turns back to what they were doing.

I turn my head slightly to see Draco looking down at his textbook, shaking his head while holding back a grin.

POP.

Everyone turns to me again. I look at Snape, his eyes burning with fury. "Spit. It. Out. Now." He says in a stern tone.

I look him straight in the eyes, continuing to chew the gum while overexaggerating the movement of my mouth.

I like to piss him off, maybe I'll be the one to break him. 

He raises his brow at me, "now," he says a little louder, but he still keeps a neutral face. 

I'll break you next time.

I chew a couple more times, just enough to gather some saliva before I swallow it. 

"I told you to—"

I open my mouth to show him that I've swallowed it. "Spitters are quitters." I say with a fake smile of innocence on my face. 

I hear Draco and his friends chuckle, but they stop as Snape gives them a death glare. Clearing their throats before looking back down at their textbooks.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

After class ended, Snape pulled me aside, lecturing me about my behaviour again. 

_Okay_.

He didn't give me detention for today's stunts. But he _did_ give me longer training sessions. Every morning starting at six for three hours; just before classes start. Barely even enough time to eat. His loss, today I brought gum, tomorrow I'll bring food.

Dismissed from class, I walk out to see Pansy and Daphne waiting for me, leaned against the wall with their arms crossed over their chest. 

_Oh no! I think I'm about to get jumped!_

Idiots.

Ignoring them, I walked away before they block my way.

"Ladies, miss me already?"

"You're going to pay for what you did to me in class," Pansy sneers. 

So stubborn. I hate it.

I move up to her, our faces a finger length a part. 

"Pansy, I cast a silencing charm on you. Keep talking and I'll use Oscausi to seal that big mouth of yours _shut_. Understand?"

I look at the both of them, noticing a glimpse fear in their eyes as they are speechless. That's my morning coffee right there. _Fear_.

"Good." I smile, pushing through them as I walk away "see you both at my dorm after dinner!"

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I just came back from the Great Hall. Pansy and Daphne should be here any minute.

I haven't seen Draco since this morning's DADA lesson. Good, I don't need any distractions. Not that he's capable of distracting me.

The door opens, finally its about time—

"Heyyyy roomy!" Ughhh, it's _her_ again. And she _reeks_ of weed once again. I live with a literal stoner. 

Squinting my eyes at her, I give scrunch my face in disgust "you smell disgusting. Look, since we're living together, we're going to have to set some boundaries."

She looks at me blankly, her eyes blood shot. I can tell she's still trying to process what I'm saying. 

"You will change your clothes when you come in the dorm after smoking. If you get high past midnight, do _not_ bother coming into this room unless you are certain you can stay quiet. If you _ruin_ my sleep, I will _ruin_ you. And _most_ importantly. Do _not_ smoke in here. Is that clear?"

She squints her eyes looking at me, then grins widely "crystal," she says, reaching her hand out to shake mine. "I'm Willow. But you can call me Wills, Willy, Will, LowLow, anything really. My friends call me Will or Wills but my street name is LowLow. I gotta keep it on the downlow when I'm doing my busin—"

I completely block out what she is saying, rubbing my temples in slow circular motions. If I have to hear any other annoying voice today, I will off myself.

Aaaand just like that the door opens.

It's Pansy and Daphne. About fucking time.

"Your late." I snap at them. Their eyes look over to Willow, they scrunch their faces in disgust.

"Ew, what is _she_ doing here. Scram Mudblood." Pansy screeches with her high-pitched voice. I'm _really_ considering casting an Oscausi at this point. I don't even care if it's a dark charm. I don't think I can handle this any longer.

"This is my room. And, I'm allergic to dogs so I think _you're_ the one that should scram _pug-face_ " Willow retorts with a bored expression. Hmm, this girl's starting to grow on me. 

Come to think of it, she _does_ look like a pug. 

"You're rooming with a Mudblood? Ughh, disgusting." Pansy rolls her eyes at me.

"Get out." I say.

"You hear that Mudblood, she said _out_." Pansy laughs, Daphne laughing with her.

"No, _you two_." I look between Daphne and her. "Out. Now." I point to the door.

"What? But you called us over here." Daphne speaks up.

"Yes, and now I want you to leave." I smile.

"But what about the task?" she questions me.

" _This_ was the task. You both failed it. I asked you both to come to my dorm right after dinner. Dinner ended six minutes ago. I don't like to be kept waiting. Get out. Now." I give them both a stern look.

"You're leaving us, for _that_." Pansy stares at Willow in disgust. "A mud—" 

"At least _she_ can follow simple orders." I cut Pansy off. "Out." I point to the door. 

"Fine, have fun with your Mudblood, _bloodtraitor._ " Pansy snaps at me, running quickly out the door with Daphne knowing that if she had stayed any longer, I would have hexed her.

I reach my hand out to shake Willow's hand "Asya Karkaroff." I smile at her.

She takes my hand and smiles back, "so... does this mean we're friends?" she wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"Don't push it." I warn her, my lip curving upwards. 

Maybe Hogwarts isn't so bad after all. I'm starting to enjoy myself.


	4. CHALLENGE

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's been two weeks since I've transferred to Hogwarts. I've gotten used to it. Actually, _it's_ gotten used to me. 

I've managed to intimidate people so much, that when I enter the bathroom, the girls coincidentally happen to leave. Even when I walk through the halls, people move aside.

Pansy is still Pansy. She wouldn't stop talking so I used the silencing charm on her again. But this time Snape decided to give me detention for it. Made me scrub the floors and desks in his classroom until I could see my own reflection in them. Servant's work is what it is. 

I'm starting to like the Willow girl. She actually listens to the rules I set out for her. She's proving her loyalty to me every second. I'll keep her around for now.

Training has been... well, the same. Snape's tactics are less violent. My father would torture me during training. He said it would help build my stamina. He wasn't wrong. I used to pass out after being hit with the Cruciatus curse for a few seconds. Now, I can withstand it for longer. But I need more practice. I _always_ need more practice. I will _never_ be powerful enough. At least according to the reptile they call _"the Dark Lord."_ Snape showed me Tom Riddle through a pensive a while back. He was _hot_. I was surprised he actually had hair and a nose and his skin wasn't all veiny and pale. 

I haven't seen Draco very much. And when I did, I was hit with his classic smirk, snarky comments, and challenging remarks. Obviously, I snap back. A couple days ago he managed to annoy me so much I was _so_ close to gliding my poisonous dagger down his snow-white face, but I was able to control myself. 

He still struggles with the concept of respect. Thinks he's superior. He'll learn sooner or later. I'll make sure of it. 

He's been missing classes. And to be honest, I don't care. But he still manages to keep an eye on me with his goons. Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini. Both of them are flirts. I could get them to do anything I wanted. Maybe they would come in handy for me. Theo especially. I've been stressed lately; I need a reliever. He's attractive and looks like he'd follow orders so, he'll do.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Willow and I walk into the Great Hall, as I notice _him_ staring at me. Draco Malfoy. 

He looks pale. Paler than usual. His eyes sunken like craters. But he still has that stupid smug look on his face, as he maintains eye contact with me. I'm convinced he's obsessed with me. Good. As he should.

We haven't talked about last year's hookup since that one day in the common room. It's not like it matters anyways. It was a one-time thing. 

I'm going to have a lot of fun messing with him. I like making him angry. The way his jaw clenches, as he rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek. It reminds me how capable I am of actually making him feel such emotions. 

I look over to see Theo sitting next to him. He blushes slightly, the same smirk as Draco, on his face.

Willow and I take a seat, right across from Draco and Theo.

"Helloooo ladiesss" Theo smirks, grabbing both Willow and I's hand, planting a light kiss on them.

I see Malfoy roll his eyes.

"Wills, I need more—"

"Shhhh, shut up Nott. We don't talk about _business_ here." She whispers to him. 

"My dorm then... how about... At 7:30?"

"How about... no. Room of Requirement, 9:00."

"Deal." He grins.

"You can't seriously be buying off of a Mudblood. Don't be desperate, it's probably laced with a ton of cheap bullshit." Draco looks at the both of them in disgust.

Can no one insult people without calling them slurs? It's pathetic. My father was also a pureblood extremist. I don't understand this pureblood obsession. I can't bother with it. The reason these pureblood lines remain is through inbreeding. It's disgusting. I've asked Willow before if it bothers her. She doesn't care one bit. Mostly because she's high all the time. But also because she said she didn't want anyone to and I quote _"ruin my Zen."_

"Baby, that shit isn't cheap. I'm running a billion-dollar corporation here. All the best quality. You take one hit from my stuff and you'll be living your best life."

Apparently, Willow is not only a stoner, she's a dealer too. Her father is a muggle; he has his own " _business"_ that he runs across the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. She may not look it, but she is filthy rich thanks to it. Her father decided to teach her about his " _business_ " two years ago. Ever since, she's been making great profits selling this stuff.

"So, you two planning on going to the party?" Theo looks at Willow and I.

"What party? I ask.

"There's a party in the Shrieking Shack this weekend. Slytherin's only." he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shrieking what?" I furrow my brows.

"Shrieking shack. It's an old abandoned house in Hogsmeade. They say its haunted but we just use it to throw parties and smoke."

"Like ghosts haunted?" Willow asks in fascination.

"Well, you'll hear moaning. Lots of it. But not from ghosts." He smirks. 

"Come onnnn, let's get high in a haunted house. Pleaseeeee." Willow begs me.

I really shouldn't be partying this weekend. I have training in the morning and I need to be in a good headspace.

"Nope. _She's_ not coming. I don't want the Mudblood there." Draco cuts in, pointing to Willow with his head. 

I cut in "yes she is."

"No she isn't"

"She is." I glare at him.

"She isn't" he leans in from across the table, to glare back at me.

I kick him from under the table as he grunts in pain "she is, or I'm not going." 

"You're going to pay for that." He gives me a cold glare.

"Send the bill to my dorm." I give him a sarcastic smile. 

"I honestly don't care if you don't come. Besides, it's not like you have anything better to be doing. I'll have you know people from other houses _beg to_ come to our parties."

"Am I begging?" I scoff

"You will be." He snaps back.

"I don't beg." I smile back sarcastically.

"We'll see about that."

"You're both invited." Theo interrupts.

"No." Malfoy warns him.

"Yes." Theo smiles at us.

"Says who"

"Says me."

"And me" Blaise calls from behind me. He walks around to sit beside Theo.

"It's about fucking time you showed up. I haven't seen you in over a decade. Where were—" Theo squints his eyes at Blaise before yelling "You whore!"

All eyes turn to Theo.

"What?" Blaise asks, confused.

"What's _that_ on your neck Zabini?" Theo grins

We all look over to see Blaise's neck _covered_ in hickies.

"What are you—" he looks down and notices the marks on his neck, adjusting the collar of his shirt to cover them. They are still very much visible.

"Shut the fuck up, Nott."

"Honestly I'm hurt" Theo rests his hands on his heart, "so _that's_ why you've been disappearing lately. Leaving your best mates so you can get laid." He wipes fake tears off his cheeks, sniffling.

"Who's the whore?" Draco elbows Blaise proudly.

What a fucking pig. I will never understand why girls are instantly whores for doing something so fucking natural—having sex! It truly amazes me.

"She's not a whore..." he mumbles.

"What's that? Does Zabini have a little crush." Malfoy scoffed.

"No" he responds back quickly.

Draco isn't convinced by his response. Neither am I and neither is Theo as he snorts, holding back a laugh before changing the subject. " _Anywayssss,_ I expect to see you both at the party tonight."

"I'm bringing the drinks though!" Blaise says.

"I'll bring my own _goodies_ too" Willow hints.

Willow's fucking _goodies_.

Draco rolls his eyes; I could see his jaw tensing.

"Asya... What about you?" Theo looks at me, eagerly waiting for me to respond.

"What about me?"

"You're coming, right?"

Malfoy glares at me annoyed.

I look straight at him, with a smirk on my face "wouldn't miss it Theo."

Malfoy clicks his tongue, looking me up and down while tilting his head to the side.

"Did you just—" Theo stops mid-sentence, his mouth and eyes wide open.

It's like he's in a state of shock, not moving, not blinking, just staring at me.

"The fuck is wrong with him?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at Theo. This is fucking weird.

"Theo" Malfoy snaps his fingers in front of Theo's face to get his attention. He doesn't even flinch.

"Nott!" he yells, still nothing.

He then slaps him across the face. That got him to shut his mouth at least.

"The fuck are you staring at her for?"

"HAHA, SUCK ON THAT BITCHES!" Theo jumps from his seat, flicking off Blaise and Draco. They both look at him confused. Everyone around us staring before turning back around.

"What the fuck are you going on about now?" Draco groans, rolling his eyes.

"She called me Theo!" He looks at me "You called me Theo!"

"And?" I ask, confused.

"Say it again." He sighs, putting his elbow on the table and resting his head in his hand.

"Theo?"

He licks his lips, "lord have mercy I'm bout' to bust."

Everyone stares at Theo, before we all burst out laughing. All except for Malfoy, he's too busy staring at Theo with an expression that's mixed with disappointment and disgust.

"Is that a laugh? Holy shit, I made you laugh. I think I deserve trophy kiss. Just a little peck." He leans in over the table, closing his eyes and puckering his lips.

Draco pulls him down forcefully "Quit making a fool out of yourself Nott."

"I'll be expecting that kiss later this weekend," he winks at me.

"Well, you're going stay expecting." I respond, amused.

"Hard to get. I like it." he raises his brow, then looks over to Willow. "Wills, what about you?" he smirks.

Willow leans over the table, pulling him from his tie to bring his face close to hers. A smug look forming on her face.

"Baby..."

" _Mhmmm_ " Theo hums, almost in a state of Euphoria over Willow.

"I'm gay" she says, releasing his tie as she sits back down.

I snort, almost spitting out the water in my mouth

Theo is still leaning over the table, looking at Willow with his mouth slightly agape.

I look over to see Draco chuckling while picking at his food. It's an actual laugh, not like the sarcastic cocky ones that he usually does.

Theo closes his mouth, composing himself "well if you ever want to experiment, you know where to find me." He winks.

Willow rolls her eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly upwards.

"So, now that you and I are on nickname basis, what do I get to call you?" He sits back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"My name." I say bluntly.

"What about baby? Or princess? Or my seductive empress—"

"I am this close to slapping you. And my slaps are _way_ harder than his." I point to Draco.

"Please slap me" he sighs, licking his lips.

I look to see Draco scrunch up his face in disgust. "Shut the fuck up, twat." 

"Awww, are you jealous?" Theo pouts, squeezing Draco's cheeks. "It's ok you can both take turns kissing and slapping me." He says, looking at the both of us.

Draco's jaw clenches, slapping away Theo's hands before turning to Blaise who is laughing.

"Amused Blaise?"

"Very." He smiles, taking a sip of water from his glass.

"Well..." Theo cleared his throat. "I'm gonna go now. I've got lots to prep for. Blaise, come with me we have a lot to talk about and..." he looks over at Willow, then at Draco and I, a smug look growing on his face.

"Wills, come with us. Let's have some bonding time, and we can take a look at those _goodies_ you were talking about." He gives Draco and I final smirk, before leaving. 

It is just me and Draco. I am not about to sit here eating dinner with _him_. I get up to leave before he reaches out from across the table, pulling me by my arm to sit back down in my chair.

"What the fuck are you—"

"Did I say you could leave?"

"Did I ask?"

"Stop being stubborn."

"Stop telling me what to do."

"What can I say, I'm a man who knows what he wants." He retorts smugly.

"A man?" I scoff "Hardly. This _thing_ that you're doing. It's cute you know. You're trying, but you're failing. Miserably. This whole _"I'm a superior, you must respect me or I will punish you"_ act is really getting exhausting don't you think?"

"Says you. And it's not an act, you will figure this out one way or another."

"But you see I _am_ superior. And I've already figured it out. I know deep down you're just a fucked up insecure little boy who doesn't know how to handle his emotions, so you take it out on normal people who are just minding their own business."

"You're normal?" He snorts.

"No, I'm not, I'm just as crazy and fucked up as you. If not more. Which is why you should stay away from me. You're all talk, I actually act on what I say."

"Don't challenge me on that. I always keep my word. _Always_."

"Mhmm" I roll my eyes at him, drinking my water.

He leans in to the table to come closer to me, "you know, I would be very, _very_ careful if I were you. You don't want to be my enemy." he speaks lowly.

I lean in as well. Our eyes both filled with hatred and rage as we stare at one another without breaking eye contact. "Too late." I respond back, smiling before I get up and leave the Great Hall.

Fuck am I excited for this weekend. I am going to _destroy_ _his_ ego.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

"You know, I would be very, _very_ careful if I were you. You don't want to be my enemy." I warn her.

"Too late." She gives me her signature fake smile before leaving the Great Hall.

She wants to play. So, let's fucking play.

Fuck am I excited for this weekend. I am going to _destroy_ _her_ ego.


	5. PATIENCE

**Listen to 6 Inch by Beyoncé ft. the Weeknd if for the vibe of this chapter.**

**Enjoy!!**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Willow and I are getting ready for tonight's party. She has her own way of getting ready. All I know is, she is not going to be able to get out of bed for a week with the level of high she's at. I guess that's her way of coping with life. She's addicted to substances. I'm addicted to power.

The parties at Durmstrang were always very high-class, because they were held by me of course. It was an opportunity for everyone to show off their wealth and power. When Theo mentioned there'd be a party in the Shrieking Shack, I almost laughed out loud. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little skeptical about tonight's party. Actually, a lot skeptical. Whatever, if I don't enjoy it, I'll find a way to make it enjoyable. I always do.

Usually, my outfits are my favourite part when going to parties. I like to be very _very_ over the top. However, I am not going to risk getting my nice clothes dirty in a dirty old shack. So, I'm just wearing a black mini skirt with a sheer laced black body suit. Not my top choice, but it's the most basic thing I'm willing to wear. _Never_ will you find me wearing... jeans. The thought of them makes me gag. 

I've kept my makeup minimal; just some mascara, nude gloss and a bit of concealer under my eyes. Finally, I fluff out my hair a bit; it's in loose curls. 

Before I forget let me get my dagger. I have a couple essentials in my life. My wand, my dagger, red lipstick and me, obviously. I slide my dagger in my thigh buckle, right next to my wand. Since I'm wearing a mini skirt, I pull the strap higher up my thigh. I have a whole collection; each holding a very special value to me. Blood has been shed on all of them. All laced with poison in the engravements on the blade and cursed with dark magic... just in case. Once it comes in contact with your blood—instant death unless cured immediately. 

Snape is going to kill me if he finds out I'm going to a party. He keeps going on about how I need to keep a low profile. _Me_. A low profile? Anywaysss.

I have training tomorrow morning at six. I just won't smoke or drink. It's fine. 

Actually, maybe I'll just smoke. 

Actually, maybe I'll drink a little too. I'm not a light-weight, I can handle it.

Willow enters the room after her smoking session. I'm glad she's taking my rules seriously. As she should. 

She looks... like I expected. A green floral button up shirt, over a white tank top. She looks like a tourist. And are those... ugh, jeans. I can't look anymore. 

"Heyyyy" she slurs.

I give her a sarcastic smile before taking my wand out. I turn to look at her "well, what are you waiting for? Are we not apparating?"

"Here's the problem. I can't apparate when I'm high. My mind is everywhere. But also nowhere. It's in an exotic state where I just can't process—"

I walk over to her and grab her arm, apparating us to the Shrieking Shack.

When we arrive, I help steady Willow on her feet. The girl is spinning. 

I look around and it's definitely a shack. A decent size. Not bad. It smells like weed, dust, sex, and cheap perfume. I notice some old torn sofas and cushions lying around the place. They've built their own little bar too. 

Willow immediately makes her way to the Ping-Pong table, where she finds herself some company. Cute...

I look around and notice Draco sitting on a couch. His arms wide open, as he leans back against the couch, his legs spread open. He's wearing black on black, like me. A plain black t-shirt and black pants. 

Ugh, I hate matching with people. 

He looks at me, his eyes roaming up and down my body as his mouth curves into his classic smirk. He has a brunette girl sitting on his lap, running her fingers through his hair. Ew, it's Pansy. He's _really_ degrading himself just by having _her_ touch _him_. Embarassing. 

I smirk back at him. He lifts his drink up at me before taking a swig from it. He doesn't even squirm at the taste of it. 

I bring my flask to my lips; I _always_ bring my own drinks, I'm not about to get roofied.

Turning around, I bump into someone "watch it!" I snap, before noticing it's Theo. 

"I'm gonna have to arrest you for looking this good. I didn't bring my cuffs with me though, so we're going to have to use something else..." He raises his brow, leaning his head to the side while scanning my body from head to toe.

I jokingly put my wrists together, reaching them out towards him "please don't arrest me, I'll do anything." I pout.

He raises his brow "anything? How about that kiss you still owe me from earlier today?"

I slap his arm.

"Kidding, kidding!" He raises his hands up "unless..."

I shoot him another look, warning him.

"Still kidding!"

I put one hand on his arm, leaning in to whisper in his ear "maybe if you're good I'll give save you a dance" 

"Then I shall be on my best behaviour princess." he whispers back. 

Honestly, I would be down to hook up with Theo. I haven't had sex in forever and I need to de-stress.

"Hey Theo, smoke up!" Blaise calls out. Theo gives me a final smirk before joining him.

Turning back around, I see Draco staring right at me.

"What do we have here..." He looks me up and down "I think you forgot something... your clothes." He sneers.

"Always so cruel" I gasp sarcastically.

"Not as cruel as you _darling_." He glances at my thighs, "you're wearing your dagger, aren't you?" He smirks.

I'm surprised he remembers. I wore one on the night of the masquerade ball.

"Maybe" I shrug.

"You know I enjoy knife play, but I trust you've cursed them."

"You know me so well." 

"Yes, well one night was all it took to figure out your..." he scans me with his eyes "kinks."

Before I pulled a Cinderella and left him there, without even getting a taste of me.

He moves closer to me, placing both hand on my hips. "Tell me, how's that memory of yours tonight. Do you finally remember _everything_ from that night?" He whispers in my ear.

"Mhmm, I'm not sure I follow." 

"Mhmm, that's unfortunate. Maybe if we re-enact that night, you'll start to remember." He looks down at my lips and back up at my eyes.

"Memories are hidden for a reason. Clearly it wasn't an experience worth remembering" I say, looking up at him with a bored expression.

"You're a bad liar." 

I _do_ remember bits and pieces. The dance. His hands. What he said to me. After that it's all black.

"Besides, I'm not craving blood traitor tonight. Maybe next time." He continues. 

" _Dracoooo_ , come on, dance with me" Pansy comes over, pulling his hand to her thigh. 

He is still maintaining eye contact with me, and I with him.

She notices me, her face turning red with rage "you! What are _you_ doing here _slut_?" she snaps.

Nope. Not today.

I grab the back of her hair, pulling her towards me.

"What was that?" I turn my ear to her.

"Draco, get this bitch off of me" she whimpers.

He chuckles and leaves the two of us alone, sitting back down on the couch.

"Your awfully loud tonight. Need I remind you how you were whimpering after I placed that silencing charm on you. Talk to me like that again, and I will sew your lips shut. Understand?" I say calmly.

"Fuck you," she says as I tighten my grip on her hair. I'm seconds away from gliding the cursed edge of my dagger across her flesh. I just need a little extra motivation.

"Huh? I don't think I heard that correctly? I'm certain I have a match on me somewhere. Surely you remember the match to needle spell..." I pat down my body with one hand, while the other stays gripping onto her disgusting hair.

"Okay fine, fuck just let go of me."

"Good girl." I smile, pushing her away as she almost falls back.

I might need to get rid of her soon, she's starting to get under my skin.

 _"Ayyyyyyy!_ " I hear Willow yelling, running over to me, grabbing my arm to dance. Normally I would push her off of me. I don't like it when people are all touchy feely with me, especially when I'm angry. But I guess I could make an exception just for tonight, given the state that she's in.

Willow and I sing the lyrics out loud to each other. Next thing I know I'm grinding on her. I feel strangely comfortable with this girl. She's just so... _real_. It's intriguing. 

Willow rubs my thighs from behind me, her hand grazing over my dagger still tucked under my skirt.

"You psycho bitch, what were you planning on doing with this?" She whispers in an amused tone.

"Killing Parkinson," I grin at her.

"Finally, it's about fucking time." She laughs. I wonder if she realizes I'm not joking. I'm really considering ending that girl's life tonight. And if not tonight, then _soon_.

Looking over I see Draco with a joint between his fingers, bringing his veiny hands to his lips, inhaling the smoke. He looks at me as he exhales, before passing it to Theo.

This was my chance to mess with him.

I keep grinding on Willow, staring right at him, as I watch his every reaction.

I notice his jaw clenching. He gulps, bobbing his Adam's apple

Willow smokes the joint in her hand, turning me to face her. She smirks at me, and I smirk back, knowing exactly what she is about to do.

The good old shot gunning trick, My favourite. It drives people insane. And that's exactly what I want to do. I want to drive him insane. I want him to beg for me. Afterall, I _do_ need some entertainment while I'm at Hogwarts.

She places her hand on the side of my face, pulling my bottom lip down to open my mouth slightly. She gently brushes her lips against mine, releasing the smoke into my mouth; I inhale it while looking over at Draco before slowly exhaling the smoke.

He's staring at my mouth. Bouncing his left leg up and down, before chugging his drink. 

"I'll be back" Willow whispers to me, leaving.

I bring my flask to my mouth, letting the alcohol burn down my throat, slowly intoxicating me before I walk towards Draco.

I lean over him, placing both my hands on his knees, looking down at him "close your mouth, your drooling" I smirk at him knowing damn well he was watching my every move.

"Quite a show you put on with that _Mudblood._ " He emphasizes the slur with a disgusted tone. "You love the attention, don't you?" 

_"Mhmmm,_ sometimes... Do you always sit around at parties?"

"What would you rather have me doing?" he said, moving himself forward, looking up at me from the couch.

"Oh, come on Draco, don't be so boring, enjoy yourself."

I smile at him innocently.

He grabs my arm and pulls me towards him leaning in to whisper in my ear "the only time I want to hear you call me by name is when you're begging me to fuck you. Understand?"

Is he challenging me?

I look at him, whispering his name slowly and seductively "Draco."

He looks me in my eyes, our faces inches away from each other. He leans in closer, looking down at my lips, the corner of his lip curling upwards. He's about to kiss me. At least that's what he thinks.

I turn my face away from his, pulling away to leave. 

He pulls my arm, as he leans in, resting his forehead against mine while the tip of our noses touch.

"Don't play with me. I've been _very, very_ patient with you. But you insist on breaking my rules. I don't like my rules being broken." He growls in a low tone.

He pulls my waist in more towards him, his other hand still holding tightly on my wrist. Leaning into my ear, he whispers "you know I'm going to have to punish you, right?"

He pulls away to look me dead in the eyes. Looking back at him I whisper "then punish me bitch."

He quickly curls his fingers around my throat "patience my little _slut_ , I'll punish you when I want to punish you. I know you remember that night. And very soon every thought, every feeling, everything you fucking do, you'll think of me. You will _want_ to remember."

Time to have some fun.

As his hands are still around my throat, I grab his throat and push him against a wall, both of our hands on each other's throat. I try moving my face close to his as much as I can, trailing my hand down to his pants.

"Don't start something you can't finish. You want to punish me, then punish me." I whisper seductively, just enough to feel his breathing stop.

I run my fingers over his bulge, palming him.

His hands tighten around my throat as I hear his breath hitch.

"If you really want something, you get it. You don't wait around for the perfect moment. Waiting is for the _weak_." I want him to break. I can feel how nervous he's getting. Even if he doesn't make it noticeable, I can _feel_ it.

"Do you want to fuck me?" I run my tongue lightly along the side of his neck, continuing to whisper.

"Is that it? Even if I don't remember that night, clearly you remember it very vividly. You probably replay it in your head _over_ and _over_ again. And I suppose you haven't been able to find the same satisfaction since then. That's why you do everything in your power to _try_ and annoy me—for the attention. You like the power don't you... the adrenaline rush... you _crave_ it. You _crave_ me."

I hear him swallow. What an idiot, one touch and he's melting.

I bring my face back to his "then come and get me. I'll be in the Astronomy Tower. You have five minutes." I say before apparating back to school, leaving him drown in his thoughts.

This will be fun... 


	6. WHO ARE YOU?

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

"You have five minutes" she orders me, before apparating.

 _ **She** _orders _**me**_.

I'll make her wait. That way she'll know that I don't take orders, I give them.

There is something about this girl. I just can't put my finger on it.

She's a Legilimens. I know because she's tried using Legilimency on me a couple times since she came to Hogwarts. I blocked her using Occlumency. 

Who is she? 

Yes, she's Asya Karkaroff but _who_ is _she_.

For the first time I'm my life, I'm not able to figure a girl out. 

I hate it. 

It infuriates me. 

Fearless. 

Stubborn.

She acts like she doesn't give a care in the world. 

Like she has nothing to lose. 

Like she doesn't remember that night at the ball. 

Liar. 

I know she's lying. 

I hope she's lying. 

Because from the moment she walked into the Great Hall, I knew exactly who she was. I remember everything from that night. Her intoxicating scent. Her smooth olive skin. Those eyes. Those luminous brown almond shaped eyes that are filled with anger, danger, seduction, and passion. 

She was right. I _do_ crave her. I have ever since that night. The adrenaline rush I get just by arguing with her. I long to touch her again. And _now_ , I have her right under my hand. Under _my_ control. In _my_ school. She will crave me like I crave her. 

I _need_ to get her out of my system, and I plan on fulfilling that need.

I chug a glass of fire whisky before apparating back to school.

I'm going to fuck her so hard tonight; her screams are going to be echoing through the whole school. I'm going to have her begging for me. I want to see her squirming in pain and pleasure, crying out my name. I want to hurt her, to punish her. She _will_ remember this night for the rest of her life.

Getting closer to Astronomy Tower, I hear noises.

Moans. 

The sounds are getting louder. 

What. The. Hell. 

There she is.

Pinned up against the wall with Montague on his knees in front of her.

She releases soft moans while bucking her hips against his mouth, tugging on his brown hair.

Fucking bitch. 

She's playing games with me.

I feel like an idiot. 

I could care less who she's hooking up with. After all, she's a fucking whore.

But I'm mad at the fact that I gave in to her so easily.

So. Fucking. Easily.

Fuck.

Her eyes flick up at me, a spark of satisfaction in them as she notices me watching them.

She moans louder, and louder, and louder, all while looking at me.

She's doing this on purpose.

Her mouth agape, eyes rolling back, cheeks flushed.

I can feel my cock twitching between my legs as she reaches her peak.

I need to get out of here. I turn around and leave before I can hear her moaning his name in satisfaction as she comes for him.

I could've made her scream louder if she waited at the tower longer.

Impatient whore.

And out of everyone, fucking Montague.

She wants to play, so let's fucking play.

That's all she is, a fucking game.

I _will_ figure her out.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I told him to get here in five minutes. He's late, I don't like to be kept waiting.

I get out of the Astronomy tower, as I see a guy walking around the corridors. He looks around my age, a brunette, he's kind of hot too, he'll do.

I walk over to him, grabbing his arm, "come with me."

He doesn't say anything, looking at me in shock, confusion, and lust.

I pull him into the Astronomy Tower, he pushes me against a wall crashing his lips against mine, kissing me messily. I feel like I'm making out with a dog.

Fucking disgusting.

I push him away, "on your knees." 

"What?" he looks at me, confused.

"Did I stutter? Get on your fucking knees."

"Dominant ey, I fuck with that" he says, before putting his hand on my back, slowly moving down, moving his hand on the inside of my thighs. "I'm Graham by the way."

"I don't care," I give him a blunt reply.

I really could care less. I'm horny, and frustrated. All because of _him_.

I need a release.

His hand grazes over the knife on my thigh "kinky too" he bites his lip, trying to pull it out of my thigh strap. 

I grip his wrist tightly and look him straight in the eyes "don't touch that unless you want to die."

He chuckles not understanding my seriousness. He goes down on his knees, planting kisses on my inner thighs, leaving a peck on the fabric of my underwear.

He pulls my black laced panties down, dropping them on the floor before forcing my legs open. He rubs his fingers in circular motions along my clit, pulling out to lick his fingers "fucking delicious."

He starts sucking gently on my throbbing pussy. His tongue slithering into my folds, sliding up and down. This is so fucking sloppy.

"Mhmm," he hums into my pussy, the vibrations jolting through my body.

"Fuck," I let out a frustrated moan. I need him to satisfy me. And he is doing everything but that.

I'm starting to get bored; I might just leave—

Draco. It's about fucking time.

His eyes look hungrily at me, filled with rage.

I stare back at him, moaning louder and louder. I'm faking them.

I see him gulp, his hands tightening into a fist, knuckles white. I look down and notice his erection. This is turning him on. Pathetic.

I open my mouth, rolling my eyes back purposely. I'm going to make him watch me fake an orgasm.

"Graham fuckkk—" I moan loudly. I'm pretty sure the whole school heard. He turns away and leaves, like he can't handle it any longer.

He is _so_ going to wank off to me tonight.

Oh, the power I hold...

Ugh, I still have this idiot on his knees, "you like that baby, I can make you come all night long—"

"I faked it." I say, before pulling my panties back up and leaving him in the Astronomy Tower.

I just got eaten out by a slobbery dog. Fucking disgusting. But seeing Draco's face when he saw us... Now _that_ was satisfying.

A part of me wishes that I could remember everything, every single detail from that night. Not remembering it drives me crazy. I don't like not knowing things. 

There's something about him. I just can't put my finger on it.

For the first time I'm my life, I'm not able to figure a guy out. 

He's an Occlumens. I know because I've tried using legilimency on him a couple times since I arrived at Hogwarts, to get in his head. It's just blank. I can't figure him out. To this day I have never not been able to use legilimency on someone. 

I hate it.

It infuriates me.

Arrogant.

Stubborn.

He acts like he doesn't give a care in the world. 

But his eyes. Those cold grey eyes. His eyes remind me of ashes coming from a fire that burns deep within his soul. He is filled with rage. Hatred. He despises everything and everyone around him. 

I wonder what drives his rage... 

I want to continue playing this game. I want to break him. See how far I can get him before he crashes. That's the only way I will truly be satisfied... for now. 

I _will_ figure him out.


	7. LEVERAGE

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's been a few days since the party. 

I was right about Snape's reaction. He was livid. I don't even know how he knew about the party. He refused to train me that day because the alcohol in my system ' _negatively influences my abilities.'_ The next day, we trained for double the amount of time to make up for the missed day.

Honestly, I'm exhausted. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I were like any other witch. Without a death eater father, without all these responsibilities and training sessions. Without all these expectations. 

I feel like I'm living a life to satisfy others. If this is even considered living. 

My father never saw me as a daughter, but a weapon. He trained me day and night, tortured me, locked me in a dungeon, starved me. And that's not even half of it. All to make me stronger he said. But deep down, I always knew it was for his own selfish reasons. Now he's fucking dead and I'm still carrying his weight on my shoulders. 

Sometimes I just want to get drunk and high without worrying about it affecting my training. I want to have fun with other people. I want to eat gallons of ice-cream until my body drowns in it. I want to be normal. But I can't. Even with all my riches, normal is the only luxury I can never have.

But at the same time, I don't want to be normal. I don't want to be like the others. _Weak_. I'm actually glad that my life is like this because _I am_ stronger. _I am_ feared. _I am_ powerful. I should be grateful for the life I have. I _am_ grateful for the life I have. There was a time where I tried. I _really_ tried to give normal a chance. A time where I showed the vulnerabilities I didn't know I had. A time where I chose to trust someone other than myself. But it failed. _I_ failed. It made me weak. It made me a fool. Never again. 

I need to go to the library to finish my Potions essay. I told Willow I would help with hers after I finished mine so I'll probably do that after. I don't know why, but I'm actually starting to enjoy her presence. And _I offered_ to help her. _Me_. 

_Ew, I'm turning weak._

No, I'm not. Now she'll be indebted to me. 

_And I'm back._

I walk into the girl's bathroom to freshen up my makeup. Two girls are applying their lipstick. When they see me, they both stare with wide eyes, gulping. I stare at them both, tilting my head to the side analyzing their every expression, movement, emotion. They don't budge so I reach my hand to my thigh where I normally keep my wand—this manages to get them running out of the bathroom. 

I touch up my red lipstick in front of the mirror and adjust my collar; I can't help but notice noises... 

Panting... Giggling... 

"Fuck—" I hear a silenced grunt. 

_For fucks sake._

I look at the stalls through the mirror, noticing four feet in the middle stall. One person on their knees while the other stands. 

Someone's getting the Gawk Gawk 3000.

I hear the sound of a zipper, followed by the buckling of a belt. 

I'm guessing their done with their _business_. Maybe I'll stay a little longer. I love making people uncomfortable. 

The stall door opens—

_You're kidding._

Draco and Pansy.

Her eyes are red, mascara is smudged, hair messier than usual, and lips are swollen. She has yet to notice me as she's still fixing her blouse and wiping the corners of her mouth.

Draco however, has a smug look on his face as he looks me in my eyes through the mirror. His lips tinted with Pansy's cheap lipstick, fresh bruises forming on his neck, tucking in a loose piece of his shirt into his pants.

"Enjoy the show?" Draco smirks, bringing Pansy's attention to me as her eyes open wide. 

I continue to apply my lipstick in front of the mirror "mhmmm O for effort. Looking at Pansy, I can see she's put in lots of it. But since you were so silent, and your soul is still present, I reckon it wasn't a satisfying performance."

He chuckles rolling his eyes, as Pansy gives him a peck on the cheek before approaching me "You're just jealous," she says bumping into me which causes my lipstick to smudge before flipping her thin, broken hair and leaving the bathroom.

I look at Draco from the mirror "be honest, were you thinking of me while Pansy was on her knees for you?"

He grins slyly, clicking his jaw "You'd like that wouldn't you? Be honest, were _you_ thinking of _me_ while Montague was on his knees for you?"

I don't even remember the guy's name. 

He moves closer behind me, putting his hand on my hip and leaning in beside my ear "red is your colour." He looks at the reflection of my lips in the mirror before flipping me around to face him.

He licks the tip of his thumb, pulling my chin up, resting four fingers on my jaw, while wiping the corner of my mouth with his thumb. 

Giving it a final wipe, he lightly pulls down the corner of my bottom lip, lustfully staring at my lips then back up at my eyes.

I roll my eyes and turn to leave but he pulls my arm and slams me against the mirror, as he rests one arm on each side of me. 

"You can't do that."

"I can't do what?" I blink at him innocently.

"Run away."

"You can't tell me what I can or cannot do."

"Oh, but I can." He leans in closer "You're playing with fire. You're gonna get hurt" He whispers to me, his face inches away from mine.

"I like getting hurt." I whisper back at him, leaning in closer. 

His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips, as he leans closer. The tips of our noses brush against each other; I can feel his minty breath hovering over my mouth.

Before he can make a move I put my index finger on his lip. "I'm not sure I want to taste Pansy." I notice a frustrated grin on his face. "It's okay, I'm sure she would love a round two." I pat his shoulder and sway my hips out of the bathroom. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I just finished writing my essay. Just as I'm about to get up to leave the library, I hear giggles behind me. Even in the library I can't get some peace. Turning around I see Potter and his two goons, Weasley and Granger. 

"Remember when Moody turned him into a ferret. I've never seen him run away that fast, a part from when you punched him. That traumatized him for good. Every time he hears Moody's name, he flinches." Harry laughs.

"He deserved that punch. And I'd gladly do it again. I hated him less when he was a ferret. He actually looked cute. The amazing bouncing ferret." Hermione replies, gaining Ron's attention as he rolls his eyes at her comment.

"Malfoy? Cute? _Please_ , a disgusting rodent is what he looked like." Ron scoffs.

Malfoy... Draco Malfoy...

Holy shit, this is good. 

I don't know what I find more amusing, the fact that he got turned into a bloody ferret, the fact that he's afraid of someone named Moody, the fact that his nickname was "the amazing bouncing ferret," or the fact that he got punched by a girl. Which by the way—impressive, I should start hanging out with this Granger girl, she and I seem to have similar motives. 

Who would've thought...? Just a couple seconds of eavesdropping and I've already figured out some of the vulnerabilities lying beneath Draco's cold, "I'm a superior" façade. 

Very useful information...

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I feel extremely accomplished today. I finished my essay, helped Willow on her essay, was able to tease Draco and even found leverage on him; all in a matter of hours. I'm amazing. 

Theo and I are partners in Potions today. Surprisingly he's not a dumbass; he brought back all the right ingredients. 

"Okay now add one measure of bicorn horn." I instruct him.

He takes the bicorn horn. Before he puts the whole thing in the cauldron, I grip his wrist to stop him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Adding the bicorn horn, duh" He retorts. Okay spoke too soon, he is a dumbass. 

"No, you idiot. Crush it to a fine powder and _then_ add one measure into the cauldron, not the whole damn horn."

"You're extra feisty today. I like it. It makes you even hotter." He smirks.

"Shut up."

"Yes, your highness." He bows down to me while I roll my eyes at him. 

After crushing the bicorn horn, he adds one measure of the crushed horn into the cauldron and heats it for twenty seconds. 

"Alright class, now let your potions brew for twenty-four hours. Next lesson we have a couple more steps before your potion is finally complete. Clean up your tables please." Slughorn says to us.

"Professor?"

"Yes Mr. Montague."

_Ew it's him._

"So, let's say, I drink this potion and transform into someone. Asya for instance, will I have _all_ of her... physical features?" He asks, glancing at me. 

"Yes. You completely transform into that person. All your features replicate theirs."

I hear Blaise snorting from across the room while Draco clenches his jaw next to him, looking down at his cauldron.

"Can we drink our potions after we've completed them?" he smirks.

"I'm afraid not. This potion is for practice purposes only."

"Well shit." he mutters under his breath. 

_Pig._

Clearly, he didn't get the memo after I left him that night at the Astronomy Tower.

"I think we make a good team. don't you?" Theo turns to me, raising his brow.

" _Absolutely_ , other than the fact that you almost butchered our potion." 

"Oh, come on you know you love me." He nudges my shoulder. 

"Theo you do realize your _so_ close to the boiling hot cauldron. We wouldn't want an accident, now would we?" I hint.

"Okay okay" he raises his hands up. "even your threats are hot." he sighs.

"Theo—"

"Okay fine." He says. After a couple seconds of silence, he continues "notice how you didn't deny that you love me."

"Notice how close my hand is to the cauldron." I smile at him.

He zips his mouth with his fingers, twisting them like he's locking his mouth shut.

"Why would anyone want to look like Asya?" I hear Pansy speak out loudly. Obviously on purpose so I can hear her.

"I mean you'd probably transform into the _real_ her— _before_ she drinks a beautification potion. I'm sure in reality she has her father's disgusting teeth."

I hear Draco snicker at her remark, making Pansy blush at his attention. 

"How'd you know? I have a whole shelf of it in my dorm. I can always lend you some. Maybe you'll look more like a girl and less like a mutt. But I don't know if it's enough to beautify your personality."

"Ouch," Theo opens his mouth again.

Pansy turns red in anger. Opening her smart mouth to say something before Draco starts talking. "Clearly it's not enough to beautify _your_ personality. Your attitude resembles that of an old hag."

Pansy giggles. 

"If I remember correctly, you rushed to the Astronomy Tower for this old hag." I hint to him with a smirk on my face. Theo, Blaise, and Pansy look between the both of us.

His smirk wipes off of his face as his jaw clenches once again, rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek. 

"Draco what is she talking about?" Pansy whines. 

"Yeah, Draco what is she talking about?" Blaise looks at him, raising a brow at him while the corner of his mouth twitches upwards. 

"Yeah, Draco what _is_ she talking about?" Theo repeats, wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"Piss off all of you" He scowls, leaving the classroom after he's finishes cleaning. Pansy gives me a death glare before running after him.

"Asya: 1; Draco: 0;congratulations. I haven't seen him speechless since the ferret incident." Theo nudges me.

"Care to spill the tea?" Blaise approaches Theo and I's table.

"There is no tea." 

"Okayyy" Blaise says, unconvinced. 

I'll let them figure it out themselves. 

"Anyways, do either of you know where to buy pets?" I ask Blaise and Theo.

"Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley." Replies Blaise. "Why?"

"Just feeling a little generous lately. I might buy someone a gift from there..." I shrug mischievously.

"Why do you look like that?" Blaise asks.

"Look like what?"

"Like you're scheming. That's your scheming face." Theo points at my face.

"I'm always scheming." I smile at them, as they look at one another suspiciously before the three of us leave the class together.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Well... they were right. I _was_ scheming. Right after dinner, I took a quick trip to Diagon Alley. I bought a couple necessities; potion bottles, parchment and treated myself to a new dagger. 

And I _may_ have also bought a white ferret. She's currently sitting in a cage on my desk. She'll come in handy tomorrow. 

I take out a piece of parchment and scribble a brief note on it before placing it in an envelope and sealing it with a wax stamp. 

_**The Amazing Bouncing Ferret,** _

_**Enjoy your new pet.** _

_**P.S. She bites when she's hungry.** _

_**~ Moody** _


	8. CONSEQUENCES

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I had an _amazing_ sleep last night. 

Slept like a baby. 

Maybe it's because I killed Pansy and Draco in my dream. 

Or maybe it's because I have a chance to see Draco piss his pants when he finds the little gift I left in his dorm room while he was in the Great Hall. 

A green box on his bed, with an envelope on top of it. 

I forgot to poke holes in the box so I hope it's not dead. But then again, maybe that would be even better... 

I walk into Transfiguration, just as I notice Willow, Theo and Blaise turn to look at me. 

"Helloooo darlings." I greet them.

They all look at each other strangely, turning to me "Did you just greet us?" Blaise asks suspiciously, looking for an ulterior motive.

"And did you just call us darlings?" Theo continues.

"What? would you rather I slap you as a greeting?" 

"I mean I wouldn't be opposed to that—Ow!" Blaise slaps the back of Theo's head in response to his remark. 

"Besides, today is a good day. I'm feeling extremely rejuvenated."

"Did you get some dick. Is that it? I knew I recognized a certain glow to you..." Willow says, nudging my shoulder with a wink. 

"I'm always glowing. Besides, some things are much better then sex."

"Nothing is better than sex. _Nothing_." Blaise says seriously.

"Mhmm, your wrong there zucchini. Dobby's treacle tarts make me feel some type of way." Theo interjects.

"Are you sure it's not Dobby that makes you feel some type of way?" Blaise snickers at him.

"Piss off" he responds, laughing with Blaise.

"Okay but realistically, how many shots do you think you'd have to drink to hook up with Dobby?" Willow asks.

"Easy. Five. By the fifth shot, I end up seeing Lovegood's face everywhere I look." Theo replies.

"Fuck me Theo, it's been two years and you're still going on about Lovegood? That girls insane." Blaise shakes his head.

"Insane is my type." Theo glances at me with a smirk. "What about you zucchini?"

"I would have to be black out drunk to hook up with him." He scrunches his face in disgust. "What about you Lozano?"

"Easy, none. I bet you 100 galleons he's packing." Willow responds. 

"Confirmed. Wills has got bigger balls than us." Theo nudges her. 

"What about you?" She turns to me.

"I'll pass." I smile.

"You're boring." she says. 

"Guys please, she's saving herself for me." Theo says jokingly.

"Saving herself? She's a whore." Pansy cuts in.

Why is she always wherever I am. I'm starting to think life is giving me a sign. That I _really_ do need to _deal_ with her. 

"Didn't mummy ever tell you it was rude to eavesdrop, Parkinson?"

"Don't flatter yourself. Practically the whole class can hear your conversation."

"How was breakfast this morning? Did you have blonde or brunette? Or maybe you were craving ginger?" I ask her, smiling sweetly while twisting my right hand and poking my tongue out of the right side of my cheek. "I think you might have some leftover." I say, signalling to the corner of my mouth.

She flicks me off before turning away. 

"Settle down class, I will be starting the lesson soon." McGonagall announces. "I will be back in a moment. In the meantime, get out your textbooks." she leaves the class.

"Class is about to start soon, where the hell is Draco?" Blaise asks.

"I don't know mate; he was in the Great Hall with me before he left to get something from his dorm." Theo replies. 

Looks like the fun will be starting earlier than I had planned.

"And speak of the devil." Blaise says, looking at the door as Draco storms into the classroom. His hair a little messed up. He looks a bit shaken but its hidden under his rage. He looks very _very_ angry. His cheeks are crimson red and hands are clutched into fists as his knuckles turn white. 

He's received my gift...

"Pottah!" he spits furiously, storming past us, not even acknowledging our presence as he approaches him.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry asks with a bored expression.

"What do I want?" He laughs evilly. "I want to kill you, right here, right now. Get up."

Harry looks at him confused, Ron and Hermione mimicking his expression.

Draco pulls him from his shirt, taking out his wand and pointing it to his face.

"Malfoy what are you doing?" Hermione stands up in Harry's defence.

"Shut up Mudblood." 

"Don't call her that." Harry interferes. "What's wrong with you today? Your father cut off your allowance?"

Draco clicks his jaw, lowering his voice "I'm going to ask you this once. Did you put that _thing_ on my bed?"

"What thing?" he asks.

"The bloody ferret, was it you?" he whispers to avoid people hearing him. We can still hear him... 

I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid laughing out loud, while twirling my hair around my finger. This is too easy.

Theo and Blaise turn to look at me. 

I look back at them "what?"

"The pet shop huh? You naughty girl." Theo shakes his finger at me, smirking. 

"He's going to kill you." Blaise whispers.

"I'd like to see him try." I smile. 

"Malfoy, I have no idea what you're talking about. Besides, I'm a Gryffindor, how could I have gotten into your dorm?" Harry asks.

"I don't know. And I don't care. All I know is that it was you." He tightens his grip on his wand.

I let out a snort, before clearing my throat and looking away. But he snaps his head my direction.

"What are _you_ laughing at?" He scowls at me.

"You." I reply bluntly.

"Think it's funny, do you?"

" _Extremely_. Did you feed her?" I smirk at him. 

"What?" he furrows his brows.

"Your new pet. Did you feed her. She bites when she's hungry."

In an instant his confused expression darkens in realization, as he moves towards me abruptly. 

"You." He points his wand at me.

"Mhmm, do you really think it's wise to be pointing your wand at _me_?"

"Get up." 

I look down at my nails, observing them before I get yanked up by my arm with a wand poking under my chin.

I immediately take out my own wand, pointing it under his chin. Both of us staring at each other's eyes with anger. The air thickens with tension until we are interrupted. 

McGonagall clears her throat, "Mr. Malfoy, Miss. Karkaroff, put your wands down this instant." 

We hold back for a moment, giving each other final glances before pulling our wands away. 

"Take a seat both of you. Detention tomorrow afternoon." 

I roll my eyes and sit back down in my seat while he sits right behind me purposely. 

McGonagall rambles on about human transfiguration for the majority of the class. Theo is almost asleep next to me; Blaise is picking at the fluff on his shirt, Willow is drawing dicks on her notebook and Draco... well, his gaze has been burning through the back of my head the whole time. 

A couple minutes go by before a ball of paper is thrown at my head. I turn to look at him but he is looking down at his shoes. I pick up the paper before McGonagall notices, reading it.

_**11:00 tonight; Astronomy tower.** _

_**You're dead.** _

Funny if he actually thinks I'm going to show up.

I write a small note on the paper, crumpling it up and throwing it back at him.

_**No.** _

A few moments later he throws back another paper.

_**You don't have a choice.** _

"Miss. Karkaroff, pay attention." McGonagall snaps me out of it.

"Paying attention." I stare back at her.

After a couple more minutes of rambling, she ends the lesson by assigning us a five-page essay. 

Lovely.

I start packing up my stuff, as everyone starts to leave before I get shoved into. 

"Watch where you're fucking going" Draco snaps.

"You bumped into me. And given that you had all this space" I show with my hand "you could have walked any other way. But _you chose_ to walk into _me_."

"I can walk wherever the fuck I want. YOU should have MOVED, _bitch_."

I move closer to his face, staring at him calmly. I'm the type of person that speaks with my eyes, so I don't feel the need to snap at him right now. If you look deep enough, you can read every thought, every emotion, everything that I feel just by looking at my eyes. 

"Did you like the gift?" I tease him.

He forcefully grabs my wrist, pulling me closer. Our noses are practically touching. "Mhmmm, I killed it."

He looks me straight in my eyes, testing my reaction. I keep my face neutral; I don't want to give him the satisfaction. Though I am pissed that he killed the ferret I spent my time and money on.

"Shame... Always so ungrateful. And the lengths I went to just to get you that ferret."

"You want to push my limits, don't you? You want to test how much you can anger me?" He looks at me intently.

"How'd you know?" I gasp innocently.

"I'd be _very_ careful from now on. Sleep with one eye open. I'm going to _ruin_ you." He says with a low voice, smirking as he scans me up and down with his eyes "And you _will_ come to the Astronomy tower tonight." He walks out of the class. 

Mhmm, let's see who ruins who. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

Fucking bitch. She really thinks she can get away with messing with me. If McGonagall hadn't walked in I would've dealt with her properly. Luckily for her, I have a few things in mind.

I need to figure her out. Find her weakness. Something. Anything. I need to teach her a lesson.

I told her the weasel had died. I threw it out of the window. I don't even know where it is and I don't care. But I doubt its alive. 

"Draco!" I hear Pansy's annoying voice. I like her better when her mouth is shut. 

She runs up to me from behind, wrapping her arm around mine. I get out of her grip "don't touch me."

"Someone's moody today. What was that in class? What happened?"

"None of your concern." I reply bluntly, not even facing her.

"Everything related to you is of my concern Draco." I finally turn to face her, pushing her against a wall, my hands gripping the sides of her arms.

"Pansy, we've talked about this. You agreed that—"

"I know what I agreed to. I changed my mind. I want you Draco, can you not see that. I want you back. I _need_ you back. Because I love you. I've waited for months but my patience is wearing thin." 

"I don't give a fuck about your patience. _My_ patience is wearing thin. Pansy I don't love you. I never have and never will. I am going to repeat this to you again in hopes that this is the last time I have to say it for you to understand. What we _had_ was in the past. We both had needs. You met mine, I met yours. Now I'm bored. I don't want you anymore."

"But you want me when I'm sucking your dick." She spits at me angrily. 

"I always give you a choice. You're the one desperate enough to go on your knees for me. Because deep down you know that the closest you'll ever get to me is by our little fuck sessions. Don't ask for more from me because I can't give you more, this is all you'll get. So, either deal with it or fuck off." I whisper to her so no one around us can hear our conversation. I notice her eyes becoming glossy with tears, as she holds them back. I hate it when people cry. It's pathetic. 

"Fine... Then this" she says pointing between the both of us "is over." She says before storming off.

 _This_ was over a long time ago. But I know she's going to come back. She always does. 

Pansy and I dated on and off since third year. I broke things off with her a couple months back though. She got tiring to be around. Jealous, controlling, clingy. So, I started to see other girls while we were together. It was the adrenaline rush I got from it that kept me on my feet. The risk of her finding out. It was exciting. I don't like the idea of settling down. It's all too boring. She found out I cheated on her months after I started. When she found out, she was silent. Didn't say anything. Let out a couple silent tears. And then she came back to me with hopes that things would work out. Until she finally gave in to me cheating on her. As long as it meant that we would be together, she didn't care. She has no dignity. 

A part of me wished that she would have thrown a tantrum. Gotten angry with me. Screamed at me. Punched me. Something. 

I wanted a reaction from her. 

I wanted to see how much I meant to her. 

Not that I cared, I just wanted to see how crazy I could truly make a person.

If that was Asya in her position, I'm sure she would have chopped my dick off, feed it to the girl I cheated with, and then Avada'd the both of us.

Maybe that's why I keep finding myself around her. 

Because I get to argue with her all I want. And I know that she secretly likes arguing with me too. Otherwise, she would ignore me, she's capable of that.

But I _want_ more. I _want_ to see more from her. I _want_ to break her. Then I would feel satisfied, knowing that I broke the most stubborn, closed-off girl I've ever met.

... And _maybe_ I want to fuck her too. She's not giving in as easily as I thought she would. That night at the ball she threw herself at me. Now she's running away. It's like we're playing cat and mouse. 

I'll catch her soon. I know I will. 


	9. DROWNING

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It is currently 10:55 PM and rather than going to the Astronomy Tower like his royal majesty Ferret Malfoy ordered me to, I chose to treat myself to a relaxing bath.

After all, I _do_ deserve it. Today was quite a success. 

Thinking about it, I didn't have to do much. He was able to embarrass himself for me. He could have come into the class like nothing happened. But he's an idiot and decided to act out of impulse. That's the difference between him and I. I plan my every move strategically—how it will affect me and others in the present and future. How it will benefit me. But he acts on his emotions. That's a weakness of his that I've recognized. He's a fool. 

I relax my body, slowly sinking beneath the water until I'm completely submerged from head to toe. 

And there it is. There's that feeling. Freedom. Even if it's just for a moment, I like the idea of being alone, having the only sound I hear being the slight crackly noises of foamy bubbles from the soap. And my heartbeat. I feel all of the tension slowly lift off of me as I float freely in the tub. All the bad memories. All the weight on my shoulders. All of it leaving me. 

But in an instant it all comes rushing back. My heart is pounding louder and louder, as the cells in my body beg for oxygen. The pressure of the water and lack of oxygen make me feel like my head is going to explode. I need to get out. But I can't.

Why the can't I get out. 

_"Kill or be killed."_

I hear a voice in my head. What the hell is going on?

Screaming. I hear screaming. It sounds like a woman. 

Suddenly, images of blood invade my mind. 

_"Kill or be killed."_

The voice repeats. 

My lungs start to suffocate. I try to get out. I _really_ try. But I can't. It's like a force is pushing me in the water. 

My eyes are blurry from the water and foam but I try to see if there is anyone above me who might be pushing me under water. 

No one. 

Why can't I get out?

_"You want to stay."_

_"You will stay."_

_I want to stay. I will stay._

What the fuck am I saying?

_"You will find your way back."_

_I will find my way back._

My vision starts to go dark as I feel a stabbing pain in my chest and lungs. 

I'm drowning.

I'm letting myself drown.

Letting the darkness consume me entirely.

And I'm all alone. 

As my eyes darken, a sudden peak of light breaks through them.

All the weight on my chest and lungs releasing in a burst as I realize I am no longer underwater. 

I gasp for air without even noticing my surroundings, coughing vigorously. My eyes are still blurry. I blink a few times, and as I slowly start to catch my breath, my vision and hearing becomes clearer. It's like my soul left my body and then came back.

"Are you mental?!" I hear a voice. 

A deep voice. 

His voice. 

Blinking a couple times, I notice a particular blonde kneeling beside the tub with a towel in his hand, looking at me in shock, frustration and amusement. _And_ I'm naked right in front of him. 

Great.

"Hello?" Draco waves his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my trance.

"What?" I snap at him.

" _What?"_ He repeats. "I just saved your life and I don't even get a thank you?" He scowls at me.

"I just came back from the dead. And you shouldn't have saved me, I don't need your saving, I would have managed."

"Yeah, I could see that. Your body was completely frozen. You weren't even trying. If you wanted to die so much, you should've asked me, I would gladly do it for you." He grins, evilly.

"Shut up, will you?" I look at him only to see him smirking at me, his eyes trailing down my body trying to see through the foamy water. "Ugh, pass me the towel" I scoff at him.

He passes me the towel and keeps staring at me.

"What are you looking at, turn around." I roll my eyes at him.

He chuckles before getting up and turning his back to me.

I quickly run some clean water over my body to wash the foam off before stepping out of the tub, drying myself and wrapping the towel around me. 

I walk towards him tapping his shoulder "You can turn around now." 

He turns around, scanning my body as water droplets graze my soft skin, before looking back at my face "you look good wet."

I roll my eyes and brush past him, leaving the washroom and going to my room as he follows behind me.

"How did you get in here?" I look at him suspiciously. 

"I'm Draco Malfoy, I get in anywhere I want" he looks at me suggestively. 

"That's not the answer I want."

"And what is it you want?"

"For you to cut the bullshit and tell me how you got into my dorm room."

"Your roommate... and with a little help of Alohomora."

_I'm going to kill her._

"So, you're telling me, you talked to Willow who you despise because of her blood status all to come to my dorm room. How much more desperate can you be?"

"Mhmm not quite. You see, we agreed to meeting at the Astronomy Tower at 11:00. When you didn't show up I thought I'd drop by to punish you, only to see you drowning yourself."

I raise my brow at him "awww, checking up on me are you? How caring. And _we_ didn't agree to anything. You just assumed I would follow your orders."

" _Please_ , I could care less about what you do. Especially after the reaction I got after saving you, which you owe me by the way."

_'you owe me.'_

A phrase I hate with a passion.

I have never and will never owe anyone anything.

If I had known this would be the outcome, I would have pushed him away and let myself drown again.

I watch him closely, both of us staring at each other in silence before I break it.

"Well... are you just going to stand there then?" He furrows his brows in confusion.

"What?"

"What do you mean what? I _owe_ you right? And you said you wanted to punish me. So, come and claim your prize."

He gazes at me curiously trying to read my intentions "are you serious?"

"Malfoy, you have five seconds to make up your mind before I kick your arse out of my dorm. I am honouring you with the _privilege_ of fucking me." I say bluntly. 

Right as I finish my sentence, I notice something snap in him as his eyes darken, grabbing me and pushing me to the wall. His long fingers wrap around my throat as his cold rings mark my neck. "Don't tempt me, I can't be gentle." He whispers. 

I move my face close to his, maintaining eye contact with him. "Then don't be gentle." He smirks in response to this, his grip on my throat tightening.

"Are you sure you _want_ this?" he looks at me with deep intent. "Because I know what I want. And if I take you right here right now, I'm not going to stop." 

"You talk too much, let's just get this over with, come on." I give him a frustrated look. He's so annoying, I'm right here just take me.

He leans down closer to my face, staring at me with desire before moving his lips to my neck, finding my weak spot. Caressing my neck with his lips slowly before building up the passion, letting his tongue peak through. He then glides his tongue along the nape of my neck, before kissing my ear lobe and whispering "your smell." He leaves small pecks around my neck "so intoxicating." A wave of pleasure runs through my body. It's electrifying. But I contain myself; I won't satisfy his ego. He's just kissing my neck. It's not a big deal.

_But why does it feel so good?_

"Beg." He whispers against my skin.

_Is he joking?_

"Never." I breathily reply.

I feel him smirk against me, making his way down my neck, to my collar bone sucking gently before moving to my shoulder. He bites down, just enough to make my breath shudder. He's marking me as his territory. 

_Never. I belong to no one._

His touch makes me lose all my senses, as I drop my towel to my feet. He pulls away, looking at me hungrily, his eyes creeping lower and lower down my body. He pulls my bottom lip down with his thumb, bringing his face closer to mine, our noses brushing against each other as his lips are _so_ close to mine. One slight movement and they'd touch. "Beg." He repeats

I look up at his eyes through my lashes, whispering "no."

I have never begged. And I will never beg. Especially not for him. 

His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips. 

_Just kiss me already._

A sly grin grows on his face as he pulls away from me. 

_What the fuck..._

"What are you doing?" I ask him frustrated, but I keep a calm tone as if I don't care that he just pulled away from me.

"I'm not feeling it tonight. Perhaps another time." He sneers.

"You're just going to leave." I scoff "I'm standing in front of you literally naked. And you're leaving me?"

"What can I say, I'm not like other girls. I'm built different." He shrugs, amused.

"Malfoy, if you leave right now there will be no other time. It's now or never."

"Mhmm sure, whatever helps you sleep at night." He hums, talking a final look at my body "Besides, you have Montague. I'm sure he would love a round two." He mocks one of my retorts from our previous conversation before leaving my dorm.

What was that?

Did he just...

 _He_ teased _me_.

And I fell into his stupid trap.

What the fuck is wrong with me. 

No. Nope that didn't happen. 

I can't allow this to feed his ego. 

I can't.

Okay, he wants to tease, then let's fucking tease.

I'm glad I didn't moan. That would have really boosted his ego. 

But I wanted to. 

I _really_ didn't care about him enough to feel any sort of emotion towards him. But now... I may actually _hate_ him.

No not I may, I _do_ hate him.

I hate him for leaving me like this. For making me feel... weak.

And even though I hate him with a burning passion, his lips against my skin, his whispers about my scent. _His_ scent.

_Ughhh._

He left a few minutes ago, but his scent still lingers in the room. It still lingers on me. He smells like sandalwood, a little bit like citrus, mint and... apples?

He has a very distinct scent. It smelled so fucking good.

_Ew, no._

I'm blaming this all on the fact that I haven't had sex since in a while, ever since _him_. All of this built-up tension; its expected for me to shudder at something as basic as his lips on my neck. Or his voice. Or his touch. Or his scent.

 _Nope_. 

I always get the last everything. The last word, the last kill, the last tease. 

_He's_ going to be the one begging for _me_.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

"Malfoy, if you leave right now there will be no other time. It's now or never." She threatens me. 

Little does she know I could have her at any moment if I wanted to. And her reaction to my touch tonight proves it. Hearing her heart beat faster with my touch and her breath hitch was enough for me to know that even with her cold, bitchy demeaner, I could easily break down her walls and take her. 

"Mhmm sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Besides, you have Montague. I'm sure he would love a round two." I repeat the same thing she said to me in one of our previous encounters before she left me in the bathroom.

_'I'm sure she would love a round two.'_

I take a final look at her body. I want to take it all in before I leave. I couldn't take it all in at night of the ball. Her skin is glistening with water droplets. Her breasts are perfect. Perky. Her curves are immaculate. Like they've been crafted in the heavens. I notice scars on her ribs. But I can't see them clearly, the lighting is too dim. After memorizing her figure, I turn away and leave. 

Even naked she stands her ground, no vulnerability in her eyes. 

I asked her if she really _wanted_ this. But I knew she really didn't. Because she's so stubborn she doesn't want to feel indebted to me after I pulled her out of the water. This is her way of paying me back. If I wanted to buy sex, I could do it instantly. So easy. Too easy. 

No. I wanted to hear her beg for me. I want her to crave me. She's so adamant she couldn't even do that. 

But she did it for fucking Montague. Screaming his name at the top of the Astronomy Tower. 

_Slut_.

Regardless, I still would've left her like that, even if she did beg. She's so used to getting what she wants, I won't give it to her. I would do anything to destroy that ego of hers. I guess I have to push her a little more until she finally breaks.

Knowing her, she's definitely going to be scheming ways to get back at me rather than sleeping tonight. 

Tonight was... strange. 

A part of me knew she wouldn't come to the Astronomy Tower. She'd do anything to challenge me. So, I went to her dorm instead. That Mudblood roommate of hers helped me get into the girl's dormitory. When I arrived, I called her name out a few times but I didn't get a response. After noticing the bathroom light peeking through the closed door, I knocked. No answer. So, I entered and saw her submerged under water. I waited for a moment, thinking that she would come back up eventually. But after a while, the amount of time she spent under there was unusual.

I don't know what her intentions were. Why would she drown herself? Maybe it's a part of some weird ritual her father taught her; I don't know. 

The girl doesn't seem like someone who would take her own life. But then again, she's so... unpredictable. 

While I was in her dorm, I scanned the room briefly just in case I could find something to hold against her. 

Nothing.

It was spotless. 

I could instantly tell which bed was hers; the sheets were creaseless, enveloping her bed perfectly.

Maybe I should ask father about her. He'd know much more than I do. He seemed to have spent a lot of time with her father in the past before he died. There was a time where they were close. So close that father contemplated sending me to Durmstrang for their expertise in the Dark Arts and their pureblood ideals, but mother wanted me to stay close to home. 

But then my father starting growing a hatred for him. Calling him a traitor, a coward, a fool. 

He had betrayed other death eater's, ratting them out to the Order, getting them locked up in Azkaban to save his own arse. Soon enough he got what he deserved. Everyone pays a price in the end. He paid his. I wonder what price his daughter would pay... After all, all children are punished for the sins of their parents. Just like me. Coerced into darkness at 16. Now I'm 18 and just as I thought things would get easier, they seem to be getting more and more difficult. Darker. Consuming. 

I still can't help but remember those scars on her ribs. I wonder if she has any more...

They were deep but looked a few years old. They looked worse than mine. 

Although one of the scars looked like it was from a curse. Just like the one on the left side of my chest.

I'm so close yet so far. 

I've almost got her figured out.

I think.

I hope. 

Once I do, it's over for her.


	10. PLAY

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I have detention with McGonagall today. And conveniently, Draco will be there too after we held each other at wand point yesterday.

Maybe I'll rile him up a little. Show him what he left. What he _could_ have had last night. He's such a drama queen, a tease, always trying to put on a show and make himself significant. 

He's a sheep in wolf's clothing.

I still can't forget what happened in the bathtub last night. Why couldn't I get out? What was that voice in my head? Why did I hear screaming? Why did I see blood? 

That voice. It sounded so familiar. But I couldn't make it out. It was like a hissy whisper.

Maybe the effects of the potion are wearing off...

I lift my mattress up, taking out a small velvet box before taking out a dark brown vial out of it and tipping a couple drops in my mouth. It tastes like nothing. It's the only way I can control myself. Have _full_ control over myself. I'm almost running out though so I need to ask Snape to make me more.

I put the vial back in the box and tuck it under my mattress before leaving to go to McGonagall's classroom.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I have detention today. Father is going to kill me. He's all about wanting me to make a good impression to uphold the reputation of the Malfoy name. 

I walk into McGonagall's classroom; I just came back from quidditch practice so I had to take a shower which took up some time... 

"Mr. Malfoy, glad you could join us. Your late." McGonagall pesters me.

I give her an apologetic look before fixing my gaze on Asya. She doesn't even look up at me; too busy observing her nails. Even in detention she looks all preppy and perfect with her freshly ironed uniform and headband. Always has to act like she's too good compared to everyone else. 

"And Miss. Karkaroff I wouldn't get too comfortable, you both will be going to the trophy room polishing all the silver." She continues.

Asya's eyes widen as she raises a brow while scrunching her face in disgust "polishing silver? Don't you have elves for that? Do you expect us be there all night?" 

"I've given the elves a night off. And if necessary, yes. With that attitude of yours, I'm considering it."

"Servants work" I mutter under my breath. 

"Tell me about it..." Asya scoffs, rolls her eyes. 

This might actually be the first time we've agreed on something.

"Detention is not meant to be fun. It is to punish you. I reckon after today I won't have to encounter your wands at each other's necks again..."

_Not in public at least..._

"Come along now, follow me." She signals us to follow her to the trophy room.

As we enter the trophy room one thing catches my eye. The amount of silver we _actually_ have to clean. She took our wands away too so we have to clean them with our... hands. 

_Pathetic_.

Now, I _really_ hope father doesn't hear about this. If he finds out his son polished silver by hand like a house elf... 

"I will check up on you in an hour. If you are not finished by then, you'll come back again tomorrow afternoon." McGonagall throws us some rags before leaving us.

I notice Asya lifting the tip of her rage with her thumb and index finger, looking at it with revulsion.

I throw my rag at her, making her back up to avoid it touching her face. "Well, enjoy the cleaning, I'll be at the back of the room snoozing." I walk away.

I am quite tired after todays practice, and she still owes me for yesterday. I want to use that to my advantage.

"Excuse me?" She snaps before letting out an exasperated laugh. "No. In fact, maybe _I'll_ sleep in the back and _you_ can polish the silver." She throws both rags at me.

"Look I understand you want to spend all your time with me because your head over heels but I'm really not in the mood to spend my spare time in detention _again_."

"Your choice, you can either spend your time in detention with me, or in your own personal hell that I will bring upon you." She smiles mischievously at me.

"Promise?" I sneer.

"Get up before I shove these rags up your arse."

"You'd love that view wouldn't you?"

She opens her mouth to snap back at me before I interrupt her, "Relax, I'll do it, fine. If I have to hear your voice one more time, I might just have to Avada myself." I complain, picking up my rag and polishing the closest silver object to me.

 _"If I have to hear your voice one more time, I might just have to Avada myself."_ She mocks me. 

She fucking mocks me.

"Cut the attitude." I snap at her.

_"Cut the attitude."_

"I'm serious stop."

_"I'm serious stop."_

I throw the rag on the floor storming up to her, grabbing her arm to pull her close to me. She looks up at me innocently, but under her eyes hint at satisfaction. Satisfaction of irritating me.

"Hello darling." She flutters her eyes at me like she didn't just fucking mock me.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm cleaning. Well, _was_ cleaning up until you got all touchy with me. Now if you'll excuse me—" she tries to leave to go back to cleaning but I tug at her wrist harder.

"We have 55 minutes of hell left, don't make this hard on yourself by acting stupid."

"You're quite enjoying yourself aren't you. You've gotten used to pushing me to walls, pulling on my wrists. Don't get me wrong, any girl loves a bad boy but this" she points at my hand gripping her wrist "screams 'I'm a lonely insecure boy with daddy issues.' It's not at all flattering."

"At least I've got a _daddy_. Where's yours, oh yeah, _dead_." I notice her eyes fill with anger but the rest of her face remains calm as she paints on another smile.

"Keep talking and you won't have one either."

"Is that a threat, Karkaroff?"

Her eyes spark at my question. "No, it's a promise."

"You ever make _promises_ like that again I will cut off your tongue and feed it to Flich's cat."

"Too bad, I don't need my tongue to stop me from making promises like that." She grins. 

"Fine then I'll slit your throat."

"And I'll slit _your_ throat."

We both stare at each other intently.

She doesn't even flinch at my threats. She doesn't weaken under my gaze. 

I could tell this girl that I poisoned her and that she'd die in a couple seconds and she still wouldn't care.

She _can't_ be _this_ fearless. Impossible. 

"You see, I think we're finally starting to understand each other." She takes her hand and runs her fingers down the center of my chest, working her way down. "You provoke me." She goes lower. "And I provoke you." She unbuckles my belt with one hand. 

"It's only fair. Don't you agree?" She asks me, her hand undoing my trousers before making her way inside them. 

She's trying to tease me. She's _trying_. It won't work though.

"Okay Karkaroff, tell me what you want. Surely, you've got some idea of revenge on your mind after that embarrassment I put you through last night. Fess up come on."

"Revenge," she gasps staring at me with false shock, " _me_. Never." She runs her fingers over the bulge under my briefs sending electrifying jolts down my entire body. 

"Unlike _you_ , I don't like leaving unfinished business." She gives me a light squeeze and releases her grip in an instant, leaving me wanting more. She pulls her hand out of my trousers. "Which is why I won't start."

She can't do that—touch me and then leave like nothing happened. I won't let her. 

She tries to turn around again before I grip her waist and turn her around, bending her over a table. One hand holds both her hands behind her back, while the other grips onto her hair, turning her head so that the side of her face is lying against the table.

"Someone's a little upset about not getting enough attention last night mhmm. If you wanted me to fuck you all you had to do was ask." 

I put my mouth against her ear, letting out a soft groan "You were _so_ willing to whore yourself out to me last night. You wanted to pay off your debts. Are you still willing to pay of those debts of yours?"

I hear her let out a soft laugh. "I don't owe you _shit_. You had your chance last night. And you lost it."

"I think I'll be the judge of that."

"No, it's _my_ body so I think _I'll_ be the judge of that."

"From now on, _your_ body _is_ _my_ body. It belongs to me. You owe me, and this is how you repay me."

"Who taught you that, daddy Malfoy? Merlin, is that how he got with your mother. Pushing her, choking her, _owning_ her, like she's a _whore_. No wonder your so... defective?" she says in a mocking tone.

She can't talk to me like that. Talk about my mother and father like that. 

I grip the back of her neck, pushing her face harder into the table "Say _one_ more thing about my family. I _dare_ you."

"With pleasure." I see her smirk against the table. "Your family is _weak_ , hiding behind greater powers and their riches in order to shun the truth—that without all your money, your blood purity means absolute bullshit. The Malfoy name means absolute bullshit. And your father knows this very well, which is why he finds other ways to show his power; not only through his wealth, but by finding a wife who he can easily manipulate, and procreating a useless, weak, embarrassment of a boy who he regrets to call his son, using him as a punching bag whenever he feels less powerful. Was that adequate enough, or shall I continue?" 

_Thats it. She's dead._

I turn her back around to face me, slamming her back against a wall and gripping her throat with both my hands. I don't even realize how tight I'm gripping onto her throat, it's like this darkness is consuming me. I want to hurt her. I want to make her squirm and cry and beg. I want her dead.

"I'm going to kill you." I growl at her with a low tone.

I notice her eyes watering from the pressure on her throat, her breath hitching at the back of her throat. But one thing remains the same. That fucking smile on her face. She's enjoying this. She's enjoying my reaction.

"So fucking—kill—me." She rasps out, struggling to breathe.

"I hate you" I seethe through my teeth.

"I—hate you—more." She gasps for air; I can feel the muscles in her throat tensing up in desperation.

I notice how her arms hang freely by her sides. She's not even trying to stop me. Normally she would have stabbed me with one of her daggers by now. She would have done something. 

Why isn't she doing anything? 

Why isn't she stopping me?

"Beg." I demand her. "Beg me to stop." 

She looks drowsily at me, but she is _still_ fucking smiling. 

I tighten my grip on her neck hoping this will get her to beg. 

"Beg me to stop. Don't be so fucking stubborn for once and do it. You know you want to. Fucking beg whore." 

She doesn't budge, instead, I notice her face getting redder and redder. Small ragged breaths leaving her throat until her breath no longer hitches, it completely stops. Her mouth is slightly agape as her smile starts to fade as the energy drains from her. Then it hits me. 

She's doing it on purpose. She's doing this all on purpose. For weeks she's been challenging me, trying to get me on edge. She wants this reaction. All along she's been acting like she has nothing to lose. But she _really_ doesn't have anything to lose. She fucking hates her life. Death is a blessing in disguise for her. 

I notice her eyes starting to roll back before I completely let go, backing away from her. She gasps for air the second I release her from my grip, and collapses in an instant. She coughs strenuously as one hand is on the floor while the other pulls on the collar of her shirt to allow her breath more comfortably. Her coughs ease down slowly as she replaces it with a heaving breath, trying to regain her strength through each breath of air. 

I stare at her with rage but also shock at what I just did. I almost killed her. Not the worst thing I've ever done in my life... But I let her get to me in a way that turned me into a different version of me. Turned me into a version I only brought out unwillingly in desperate times. 

_What is she doing to me?_

My thoughts are interrupted with her laughs. I focus my attention on her only to see her on the floor, laughing so hard she starts to tear up. She uses the wall as support to help her get up from the ground. Her body threatening to fall back down but she manages to keep herself on her feet by leaning up against the wall. She starts clapping her hands from laughter, her head falling back.

She calms her laughter down, taking a few breaths to relax herself "I _must_ say, I never thought I would see _this_ side of you. Truly magnificent. In just a split second, that vulnerable, frail little boy who puts on an act as the big bad wolf, turned into a reaper. I found your performance quite exhilarating. Although next time, I'd suggest tying me to a rock and throwing me into the Black Lake. Same result, much less physical stamina required on your part."

"Your fucking hilarious." I reply sarcastically. "I knew you were fucking mental. How much more stubborn could you possibly be? I asked you to beg and you'd rather die then beg for me to let you go."

"I told you darling, I don't beg. I took it like a champ, though didn't I? We should time that the next time you decide to let your alter ego take over and choke the life out of me. I'm impressed though, this will definitely leave a mark." 

"Just stay the fuck away from me from now on. I'm bloody serious, I don't want you near me or next time I will end you for good." 

She pulls her dagger out of the buckle on her thigh, as she comes close to me, brushing her lips against my ear while skimming the blade down my clothed chest. "No, _you_ stay the fuck away from _me_. Because I promise you I will make your life here a living hell before you can even _think_ about making your next move." She turns the dagger upside down, taking out what appears to be a mini wand from the bottom of the dagger, before whispering "Scourgify," walking out of the room unbothered and leaving all the silver, polished.

That bitch planned this all along. She could have used that wand to polish everything the moment we got here so we could leave. But she didn't. She purposely started a fight. 

She better stay away from me, because next time I won't control myself like I was able to today. If today's actions could even be considered under control. I've never felt such anger in my life. And although what she said to me was complete bullshit—I've had worse done and said to me, yet I've never felt so livid. 

Actually no. She shouldn't stay away from me. And I won't stay away from her. She wants to play games with me, to see a reaction. I'll give her a fucking reaction. _I'm_ going to be the one to make her life a living hell for now on. I'm going to find her tipping point, and I'm going to ruin her. I won't stop until she completely shatters. I want her to feel pain. To suffer. 

I hate her. I hate her with a burning passion. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

Well, that was... something.

After I left detention, I ran into McGonagall and told her we had finished polishing the silver. She gave me my wand back but looked suspicious at how quickly the task was completed. I always have an emergency travel wand with me at all times. Your stupid if you don't have one.

All this time I've been trying so hard to get any type of reaction out of him. And today, I got a reaction that I didn't expect. And I'm not disappointed about it. 

Did I break him yet?

 _No_.

But I'm one step closer to doing so. If I had known that all I had to do was insult him and his family to get him _that_ mad, I would've done it a long time ago.

It was like something snapped in him. Just like late night. His gaze darkened, and as his hands were around my throat I searched for any bit of emotion—any weakness that I could find. His eyes were empty. Like he was soulless... immoral. He looked diabolical. 

I won't lie I did find it a bit... _hot_. 

The way he instantly flipped; all this time I thought he was a sheep in wolf's clothing, but maybe he's a wolf in sheep's clothing and just hasn't realized it yet.

But I not only saw a different side to him tonight, I saw a different side to me. 

It was the way he was choking me that made me feel something I've felt very similarly in the past. 

It's not attraction.

It's something similar to...

Fear.

Though I was smiling at him the whole time, amused to see how far he would go, during what I thought to be my last couple breaths, as my eyes felt heavy, I experienced a split second of fear.

Even though it was for a very short amount of time. I still experienced it. _He_ made me experience it.

I didn't fear him, I feared his capability. I feared what he had done. 

Only two people have made me feel that type of fear. 

My father and... 

_No_. 

No one else could be like him. Not even Draco. Not even my father. 

He _is_ the devil. The things my father did to me are nothing compared to the things he made me go through. 

Never again. I'd rather feel numb than feel any emotion at all.

Thats why this _'fear'_ that I experienced tonight for a split second, has got to go. 

I'm becoming weak. I can't become weak. I will not become weak.

I need more of that potion. 

I lift up my mattress, taking out the small velvet box with the vial once again.

After taking a couple more drops of the potion, I put it back in the box and place it under my mattress. 

Just like Willow has her drugs, this is _my_ drug. I _need_ it. My life _depends_ on it. Because if I don't take this, I will go crashing down. 

Not taking this, will break me—no, it will shatter me.


	11. BORED

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Well... I told him it'd leave a mark. The morning after detention, I woke up with his finger prints bruised into both sides of my neck. He gifted me with all the colours of the rainbow. 

It's been a few weeks since Draco and I's last _encounter_. He's always around me; the great hall, class, yet he's so distant. I didn't think he'd take what I said seriously. Looks like he's finally learned to obey me.

All I wanted was for him to leave me alone. 

And now he is. 

But why am I not satisfied? 

I thought I would be happier not having to deal with him. I mean I am but I feel... empty. 

Bored. 

He doesn't bother making snarky comments anymore. Sometimes we'll make eye contact. He'll give me his classic smirk before we both just brush it off. This isn't normal. It's like he's preparing me for something. Like he wants to deprive me of his presence until he hits me with a catastrophe. It's suspicious, I don't trust him one bit. He's as stubborn as me, he couldn't possibly have left me alone for good just because I told him to. 

Nope.

He's definitely planning something. 

I walk into the common room, to see Daphne crying. Her eyes and lips swollen; cheeks flushed as her mascara runs down them. It's a disgusting sight to see. 

I clear my throat "can you cry somewhere else? I want to relax and I can't while _your_ here in _this_ state."

She doesn't look up at me, still curled up on the corner of the couch, looking at the fireplace. 

I walk up to her and wave my hand in front of her face to catch her attention "helloooo, are you deaf?"

"Asya, can I stay here? I just really need someone to talk to." She finally looks up at me. I see the despair in her eyes.

I scrunch up my face slightly, not knowing how to deal with her. I don't like it when people cry, I never know what to do. 

"I don't see how that concerns me. Go weep to Parkinson." I reply dryly. I know she wants to talk with me, but why would I? Who is she to me?

I notice her tense up at my words before starting to cry even harder right as I say Parkinson's name.

"I-I can't-I-she-" she's _bawling_ her eyes out, choking on her words. She's going to start leaking on the couch, I pull out one of my blue handkerchiefs embroidered with my initials, passing it to her. 

"For fucks sake stop crying." I sit on the other side of the couch, keeping a good distance from her. "Come on, I don't have all day, what is it?"

Her lips quiver as she tries to compose herself "Blaise. Pansy. They-they-"

"Spit it out."

"They were snogging." She blurts out. "I saw them... in Pansy and I's dorm room. I ran away before I could catch their reactions."

Mhmmm. Okay, but why is _she_ so affected by _them_ snogging?

"Okay? Doesn't she snog everyone, why do _you_ care?"

"Because it was Blaise. Of all people, Blaise. The one person I had and she took that away from me..."

_Okay Asya, there is a girl in a vulnerable state, who happens to also be upset with Pansy. What do you do?_

All it takes is a little push... I've been drama deprived lately so this'll be good.

I scooch closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She immediately accepts my comfort as she leans into my shoulder, crying. "Shhhh, its okay." I don't like this at all. She's getting her tears all over my clothes. 

She muffles some stuff into my shoulder "I'm not going to forgive her. I can't. She knew how I felt about him. And she still did it. And Blaise... He told me he cared about me, told me he'd never leave my side and then I catch him with his tongue shoved down _her_ throat."

_Now is the perfect time..._

I gently push her away from my shoulder, lifting her chin up so she can look at me. 

"Oh, stop it. You are Daphne—what's your last name?"

"Greengrass." She sniffles.

"You are Daphne Greengrass. You're really going to let Parkinson and Zabini get to you like this? You're really going to give them the satisfaction, letting them know that they have such an impact on you that they left you bawling?"

She sobs some more. "No stop crying look at me." She looks at me, teary eyed. "Do you know how much power you have right now? The leverage you have over the both of them? You can destroy them."

I see a spark of curiosity in her eyes. 

_Bingo._

"Besides, you're _way_ prettier than that pug face Parkinson. You could get any guy you want. Any guy..."

"But I couldn't get Blaise..." 

"Oh, screw Blaise. All it takes is a little... motivation. He'll come crawling back to you. But you can't mope around. You have to show him what he's lost. Show _them_ how much better you are compared to them. You _are_ better than them."

She looks at me with slight confusion.

 _Idiot_.

"Maybe... you need to get some... payback" I hint to her.

"Payback?" She tilts her head to the side.

"Oh, I don't know... She took away something you _really_ valued, what does she value? _Who_ does she value?" I raise a brow to her.

_Come on don't be so stupid..._

Her eyes open slightly in realization "No... I couldn't..."

"Oh, but you could. She did without even thinking twice."

"But she loves him..."

"And you, did you love Blaise?"

"I... I..." she struggles to find the words.

"She deserves this. She deserves getting hurt. Because she doesn't care about your feelings at all. She didn't care about you not one bit."

"I don't even like him though." She sighs.

"Good, it makes the job a lot easier. Just a little taste of revenge. That's all."

"But what if he—"

"Trust me, he wouldn't mind. In fact, I know exactly what'll draw his attention to you, shall I share the secret...?"

She nods her head; I lean in to her ear and whisper it before she backs away with her eyes wide open.

"Are you sure, wouldn't that hu—"

"Oh, I'm positive. It drives him crazy. I heard him asking Parkinson to do it in the bathroom a couple weeks ago."

"Okay... I guess I'll try that... What if Pansy gets mad?"

"So, let her get mad. That's what we're trying to do. Make her feel the pain you're feeling right now. You deserve happiness _Daph_. Don't let her take that away from you. In fact, she's probably still snogging him right now while you shed your tears. She doesn't care. not about you, not about anyone, but herself and—"

"Draco" she cuts me off.

"Yes, which is why you have to do this. Go get your power back. Show her who she's messed with."

"Your right. I shouldn't be sitting here crying." She looks in deep thought "thanks Asya... Look I know Pansy and I've been a bitch to you since you came here, but you're honestly not bad. Pansy has just been jealous of you which is why she acts out. But you're actually really nice."

 _Nice_.

I feel goosebumps cover my body. 

_Nice. I am far from it._

"Yes, well go on now, you have lots to prepare for." I pull her off of the couch "And don't tell anyone about this. This is between you and I. A girl-to-girl chit-chat session. We wouldn't want anyone to know about this, would we?"

"Yes, you're right. Thanks again." she passes me back my handkerchief now covered in her snot and tears. I push her hand back "Nope, all yours. A little gift from me to you." I give her a fake smile. She smiles back at me, finally leaving. 

Ahhh, _so_ easy. _Too_ easy. 

I sit back on the couch, leaning against it feeling satisfied, before someone nudges my shoulder. I open my eyes to notice Theo smirking at me "Hellooo beautiful."

"Ugh, it's _you_." I scoff, turning away and closing my eyes again.

"Ouch. Who else were you expecting?"

"What do you want Theo?"

"Nothing..." _yeah right._ "Okay maybe I have like one question but don't kill me."

"I can't promise that. What is it?" 

"The bruises on your neck... are they from Malfoy?"

_Smart bitch._

I open my eyes and turn my head to face him. "That's what you came here for?"

"Well, it's also a chance to see you since you've been distant lately. You went from bickering with him 24/7 to... nothing. That's why I wanted to check up on you. I know Malfoy can be a dick sometimes, and aggressive one at that. So, if he hurt you, I won't hesitate to kick his arse even if he is my best mate."

_Aww he cares._

_Pathetic._

I give him a smirk "Theo, you must know by now, no one can hurt me. Even the oh so magnificent Draco Malfoy." I say convincingly. "I just had a little fun one night, that's all you need to know." 

He looks at me as if he's trying to see if I'm lying. But I don't budge. His face switches from worried, to relieved, to amused "I always knew you were a kinky girl." He shakes his finger at me.

"Yeah well, secrets out. Congratulations Detective Nott, you've cracked the case."

"Oh, I've got plenty more cases to crack..." he smirks "also, you're calling me detective from now on, and that's final."

"No." I laugh at him.

"Yes."

"No." I give him a more serious look.

"Yes." He imitates my serious expression.

"Stop insisting."

"Stop resisting."

He's lucky I like him or I would've killed him from the moment he walked in here.

"Will you shut up and leave me alone if I agree?"

"Mhmmm, perhaps."

"Fine."

"Fine what?" He raises his brow at me, waiting.

I squint my eyes at him, before sighing "fine, _detective_."

He sighs in satisfaction "see, that wasn't so hard was it? Later, firecracker." he winks at me, walking away in satisfaction.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I wonder if Daphne really did what I told her yesterday. 

I mean she looked pretty convinced. 

I enter the Great Hall, and instantly feel the tension in the air. I see Willow, Blaise, Theo and Draco sitting together. They all look... _off_. Especially if Draco can sit at the same table as Willow... 

Theo notices me and waves his hand for me to join him.

"Who died? What's with all the long faces?" I take a seat next to Willow.

"My dad's gone fucking ballistic. Man lashed out on me over the phone. And for what? Because his profit dropped 3% this month." Willow rolled her eyes.

I nod my head pretending I care. I look over at Blaise. "You?"

He stays silent, Theo answering for him "he's got trouble in paradise. Got caught snogging Parkinson, now he's moping around."

"Shut up, _Nott_." Blaise flicks him off.

"Only if you say please." He smiles.

"What about bipolar barbie over here" I nod my head towards Draco's direction. He doesn't even look at me, but I notice his mouth quirking slightly.

Theo smirks, "apparently our baby Malfoy took a quick trip to the infirmary last night."

_That's my girl._

"YOU HAVE BALLS CALLING ME, YOU KNOW THAT!" Willow yells into her phone, the whole great hall turns their heads to us. She continues yelling non-sense, while storming out of the great hall.

I've never seen her so enraged. 

I like it. 

"What's wrong with her?" I pick at my food. Theo shrugs. 

"Anyways, care to share the story on why you were in the infirmary?" Theo nudges Draco "did you get attacked by the chicken again?" 

"Fuck off Nott. I'm not in the fucking mood." Draco looks down at his plate. 

"Maybe he just wanted an excuse to see Pomfrey." Blaise's gloomy face brightens with a smirk.

"Hey! Leave Pom Pom out of this." Theo jokes with Blaise. 

Suddenly, both Blaise and Draco's heads turn to the door, as Daphne walks into the Great Hall. Their jaws both clench and she stops walking, her eyes wide open staring between Blaise and Draco. 

She turns quickly and exits the Great Hall. 

_This is too funny._

"Great, now she doesn't even want to look at me." Blaise huffs in frustration.

"Maybe because you shagged her best friend, mate. That's on you." Theo replies, reaching for his water.

"Or maybe because she almost bit my dick off." Draco mumbles, causing Blaise to snap his head his direction. I _almost_ choke on my food, clearing my throat while Theo chokes on his water. 

"I'm sorry, come again?" _I don't think he will after what she did to him._ "Did I hear that correctly?" Theo tries to hold in his laugh, Blaise on the other hand looks _furious_.

"She was sucking me off, next thing I know she's biting down on my—"

"She sucked you off?! And you let her?!" Blaise gets up, slamming his hands on the table. All eyes on us, once again.

"What's gotten into him?" Draco looks over to Theo.

"Fuck!" Blaise kicks the leg of the table, causing it to shake a little, before storming out of the Great Hall.

"For fucks sake, don't tell me he's gone soft for Greengrass?" Draco rolls his eyes.

"At least his dick isn't soft like yours. I doubt you'll be able to keep that shit up from the trauma it experienced." Theo laughs. I feel the corner of my mouth twitching upwards.

"Nott, tell me when was the last time _you_ got your dick sucked? Oh yeah, wasn't it the Narco mudblood. Who _also_ happens to like girls?" Draco sneers at him.

_Willow did what?!_

"Malfoy that's not an insult, that just means I happen to attract all types of women." he says, giving me a quick glance. "But this one right here is a little hard to crack."

Draco snorts "Maybe you just haven't found the right spot to break her." He looks down at my neck before looking back up at my eyes, then to his food. Theo stares at him confused.

"Neither have you." I smile and get up to leave before, Draco interrupts me "what's the rush, have another appointment in the Astronomy Tower?" He refers to the night he caught me at the Astronomy Tower with Montague's face between my legs.

I ignore him and try to walk away but he gets up and grabs my arm from across the table.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket. A blue handkerchief. _My_ blue handkerchief with _my_ initials.

_That stupid bitch._

I glance at it, trying not to show any emotion. But he analyzes my expression, trying to understand what's going through my head.

We look at each other for a moment. But it seems like an eternity. His ice blue eyes scream _"I know what you did."_

"Okayyyy, I'm gonna go, I'm sensing some awkward tension here." Theo gets up, but Draco and I keep our gazes latched onto one another.

_He's still here?_

"And don't get fucked up before the Quidditch game tonight, Flint was _heated_ last time." He pats Draco's shoulder before walking away.

"If you crave so much attention, no need to send someone else to do what you most desire. You want to suck me off? Bite me? That can be arranged." He lets go of my arm and leans back in his seat, throwing the handkerchief at me with a smug look on his face.

"Oh, whatever do you mean?" I smile innocently. He knows I know, but I like playing games with him. It's been a while. 

He laughs, "you wouldn't be able to do it anyway. Too stubborn. You can't handle me, just like _that_ night." He refers to the ball. 

He's gaslighting me.

I put both hands on the table as I stand, leaning in closer "Did it hurt?" I pout.

He lets out a chuckle, shaking his head and leaning closer to the table so I could feel his breath on my face. "You tell me to leave you alone then you do everything in your power to get my attention."

"Do you like it? Do you like the attention I give you?" I pull his tie, twirling it between my fingers.

He comes closer to my face, looking down at my lips and wetting his bottom lip, before looking back at my eyes, grabbing a hold of my hand. "I liked you better when you couldn't speak with my hands around your throat." He pulls away, leaving the Great Hall. 

I feel a pit in my stomach.

_That's it?_

He didn't even get mad, or argue or anything.

Why is he being so dry? So boring?

Now something definitely feels off.

Next thing I know an owl swoops in and drops a black envelope in front of me, flying away. I open the envelope to see a letter. 

_**Forever and always,** _ _**my precious.** _

My stomach drops, as I feel my heart beat quicken. 

_My precious..._

No signature or anything. But the words 'forever and always, _my precious_ ' are enough for me to know who it's from. 

There can only be one person...


	12. STAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [MATURE CONTENT]

__

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

****✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵** **

_"You can't leave me. You know you can't."_

_"You don't want to."_

_"If you leave, you'll have no one."_

_"No one except me._ _It's me and you, **forever and always, my precious.** "_

_For fucks sake, snap out of it._

It can't be him. That's impossible. 

_Is it?_

Fuck, I can't think straight.

Tonight was the Quidditch game and apparently Slytherin lost, so everyone's in their dorm rooms instead of partying. I waited for _everyone_ to leave before going to the Room of Requirement. This is where I do my training every morning. It's the only place I can allow myself to get drunk knowing people can't find it easily. 

I can't let people see me like this. 

One letter and I'm leaning against a wall sitting on the ground in sweatpants, a hoodie, and a messy bun drinking fire whisky on a fucking school night.

_You're weak, it's pathetic._

Shut up.

Now I'm arguing with myself, great.

I should've ended it. I should've killed him. 

He _should_ be dead though. 

Then what was that letter.

Fuck, I can't even think straight. 

Snape is _actually_ going to kill me this time. Then again, death doesn't seem so bad right now... 

"For fucks sake, you're hear." I hear a low groan from behind me. That voice... 

I don't even need to turn around to know who it is.

Great. Just the person I wanted to see, and while I'm like _this_.

How did he find this place?

"What, no hello?" He scoffs.

I don't say anything, still on the ground turned away from him. 

Apparently, he takes this as an invitation because he decides to sit next to me, leaning back against the wall. 

"Never thought I'd see the day you'd be drinking, alone, on a school night, looking like _this_?" He takes the fire whisky from my hand, gulping it down like it's his. 

"No by all means go ahead," I murmur sarcastically, getting up to leave. The one night I had where I could let myself go, and _he_ shows up.

He pulls on the bottom of my sweatpants "Wait."

I sigh in response. I really don't have the patience to deal with him tonight. 

"Stay." A moment of silence passes by, "I won't talk or do anything. Just, don't leave."

Why does he do this to me? This was supposed to be _my_ night. I want to leave. But at the same time, I don't.

_No leave him here, don't give him the satisfaction._

But maybe if I stay I can find out more stuff about him... 

I give in and sit back down, taking the drink from his hand and drowning the inside of my body with its poison. 

I'm surprised he's actually sticking to his word. We've been sitting in silence for the past half an hour. 

We take turns, passing the drink to one another. I haven't looked at him once since he came in here. But I see his large, veiny hands every time he passes the bottle to me. His knuckles have dried blood on them, bruises forming around them. 

_Did he punch a wall because he lost the game?_

There is still some firewhisky left, but barely. Just enough for one sip. The real question is, who needs it the most?

Something happened. I can tell. It's very unusual for us both to be sitting next to each other, drunk and in silence for _this_ long without killing each other. 

He slides the bottle over to me, wanting me to take the last sip. It's probably the nicest thing he's done for me since I came here. 

He must _really_ be in a shitty mood. 

I stare at it for a couple seconds, before sliding it back to him. There's no point of drinking the last bit of it if I can't let myself go, thanks to his presence.

"Suite yourself." He slurs, chugging the whole bottle and placing it in front of me as he gets up. He barely lasts a second, swaying over and knocking over the bottle, causing it to shatter. 

_Idiot._

"Oops." He holds the wall to maintain his balance. 

"Look I don't care if you get drunk, but you need to control yourself. I don't want to clean up after your shit." I sigh, casting a Scouring Charm to clean up the glass, before getting up.

"Ahhh, there she is. I was wondering when you'd snap." 

I ignore his comment and turn to leave but he takes a hold of my arm. "I said stay."

I pull my arm back but he quickly grabs a hold of both my arms, gripping harder, turning me to face him. I keep my eyes on the floor.

"Fuck. You're so fucking stubborn you can't even stay for tonight? Or even look at me?" 

"Fuck off." I scoff.

_Don't give in._

_Don't do it._

He grabs my chin, roughly pulling it upwards to face him "look at me."

I slowly take my gaze off from the ground and look at him. His eyes look at me drowsily; the fire that always burns in them is dim. Now his eyes are just empty. 

My attention drops to his busted lip. 

He notices me looking at it and his expression changes. It's like he had forgotten it was even there and I had reminded him of it. Of whatever had happened. In that moment, I catch a small glimpse of despair in his eyes, before he pulls a cloak over them and they turn dark. 

Numb.

He pulls away from me. "Go on then, fuck off." He snaps. 

And there it is.

I'm seeing it. Seeing him. Something in him at least. Even if it was for a split second, he showed me something. A vulnerability. And this is his way of trying to make me forget it happened. 

I step up to him, wetting my thumb with the tip of my tongue while holding his face, wiping the dried blood off the corner of his mouth. 

I can feel him tense up at my touch. His jaw is clenching, it's like he's holding on to his dear life not to show me anything.

I focus on the corner of his lip but can feel his gaze on me the whole time. Taking my wand out, I whisper a healing charm. I then take the hand where his knuckles were bruised and bloody, incanting the same spell. I release my grip from his hand, slowly sliding my fingers away from his. I can feel one of his fingers slightly grip onto my pinky, but he releases it.

"Gladly." I say, walking out of the room without even glancing at him.

I was supposed to be the one making a mess out of myself tonight. Instead, I watched him make a mess out of himself. 

I had the perfect chance to find out whatever I wanted from him. But I didn't want to. He already showed me enough to know that he has a completely different side to him. A side he's scared of letting out. He fears letting himself go. But he's slipping away.

Just like I felt him slipping away at my touch. 

I will figure him out. And when I do, I'll decide how I want to play this out. 

I hope he's drunk enough to forget this happened. I don't want him to think of anything from whatever happened tonight. 

_What did happen tonight?_

Nothing. 

I was trying to get drunk, he ruined the moment, I saw his injuries, helped out a little and that's it. 

I helped him out. 

_Why did I help him out?_

He saved me from drowning, this is how I repaid him.

_No, it's because you felt bad for him._

No, it's because I didn't want to owe him.

_Don't lie to yourself._

I'm not. I could care less about his injuries. 

I did it to pay him back. That's it. He can pitch himself off the Astronomy Tower for all I care. I wouldn't budge. 

He's nothing. And that glimpse of despair I saw in his eyes tonight, proved that to me. 

He is weak, and now that I see this, I will make sure everyone else does. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"You're late." Snape turns to face me.

I struggled to wake up this morning. Not because of how much I drank last night, but because I didn't want to.

I'm so tired. I feel drained. And I don't know why.

Especially after yesterday, everyone was so gloomy, and then the letter, _then_ I had to play nanny for Draco.

Fucking hell.

"I'm here now aren't I?" I respond in a tired, monotone voice while looking at my shoes.

"No, you will leave."

"Excuse me?" I glance up to face his cold, serious gaze.

"You wasted my time. You can make up for it another time; we will train for longer."

I sigh, rolling my eyes. 

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you need to get yourself together. You don't have much time left before you join his side. And we can't keep postponing it."

"Then don't" I snap. "I'm ready. I have _been_ for the past thirteen years. With the amount of shit I've experienced, I'm just as good as the rest of his followers, if not, _better_." He raises his brow at my last remark. "No offense."

"Ready doesn't look like _this_. You are trained to be strong, and drinking, being late to your training, they are all things you hide behind because you don't want to face your weaknesses. But the greatest weakness is hiding. You only become stronger by facing the truth."

This sounds so cliche. 

"Funny coming from you. Is this you facing your truth? You live a lie; you're on two different sides, babysitting a traitor death eater's daughter, and now you're what, my therapist?" I laugh. "Just train me, okay? And if you won't do it. Then I can train myself. I don't need you. I don't need anyone." I raise my voice a little, but am able to control it.

"Not today. You aren't in the right mind. We will resume tomorrow." 

"Perfect." I scoff, turning away to leave before stopping in my tracks. "I'm running out of the potion so I'll need some more."

"I'll give you a new vial later today." He retorts, as I finally leave the room.

Does he want me to be strong, or does he want me to be weak? Everyone wants something, I can't keep up.

I'm not hiding behind shit. 

I'm not weak. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I woke up to a massive headache, with my lip and knuckles healed.

I remember everything. Her touch, her silence, the faint taste of cherries from sharing the same bottle.

I never saw her like that. In sweats, drinking alone, and silent.

Even with her hair up and body drowning in those baggie clothes, she still managed to look good.

She still managed to stay stable. 

But I knew something was bothering her. Something had to have happened. 

I wanted her to stay because I thought she would put down her walls. That would mean less work for me in trying to figure her out.

But instead, I was the one almost putting down my walls. _Almost_.

I can still feel her touch on my skin. When she wiped the blood off from the corner of my lip. When she held my hand. Even though I've seen her naked and almost fucked her that one night, this time was different. I felt closer. 

I felt naked under her touch.

She didn't dare to look at me. And when she did it was for a split second. In that second I didn't sense pity. I didn't sense anything. She stared at me blankly.

I hate it when people pitty me. I don't feel pitty and I don't want people to feel it for me.

She stayed long enough to see my busted lip and knuckles. But not long enough to see the rest of my marks beneath my clothes.

Father rarely uses muggle tactics to punish me.

It was just a game. Just a fucking game. But not for him. Everything I do is meant to impress, and last night's pathetic performance did quite the opposite.

_"You embarrassment."_

_"You have the best broom yet your performance is still weak."_

_"You're weak."_

_"You disgust me."_

I'm not weak.

I'm not. 

"Draco?" I hear a high-pitched voice call out, but I'm too deep in my thoughts to pay attention.

"Draco?" The voice pulls me away from my train of thought.

"What!" I blurt out, as I turn to see Pansy.

"Are you okay? I've been calling your name several times. What's wrong?"

"If I don't answer, I don't want to talk." I scoff.

"Is it true?" She looks at me with glossy eyes. She's been crying.

"Is what true?" 

"You and Daphne..."

I stare at her blankly. 

"You hooked up with her?"

_She really has no business questioning me about this. I can do what I want.  
_

"Why does it matter?" I roll my eyes at her, walking away. She catches up to me.

"It _does_ matter. Daphne, of all people, fucking Daphne. Why did you do it?" She whispers pulling my arm to stop.

_Because I'm a horny fuck and needed a release._

"I don't know, why did _you_ do it?" I don't look at her. 

She cups my cheek in her hand, turning my face to look at her. "Is this because of what I did with Blaise? Draco that meant nothing. I was upset and he was comforting me, and then—"

"I don't want to hear it. And I don't care who you fuck. You shouldn't care either." I release my face from her grip but she takes both hands gripping each side of my face.

"But I do care. Thats the fucking problem. Even though you don't even look at me. Or even touch me anymore, I still fucking care. And it hurts because I want you to care the same way, but you won't"

_I can't. I can't feel things to care for you._

"Pansy" I look her sincerely in the eyes "go find someone. Anyone. Anyone but me. I won't love you. I won't care for you. I'll just hurt you. If I stay in your life all I will do is hurt you."

She rests her forehead against mine, "then hurt me Draco. If it's the only way I can touch you. Or look at you. Or smell you. Then hurt me. Do anything you want to me. Just let me stay. Let me be by your side."

_Do it._

Don't do it.

_Do it Draco._

No. 

_Fuck it._

I grab her by the jaw, crashing my lips onto hers. 

_I need this._

I am not weak. 

I pull her into the washroom and take a quick glance to make sure no one is there before casting a Colloportus charm, locking the door. 

She moves her lips to my jawline and neck whispering my name against my skin as she pulls down my trousers, palming me through my briefs. 

_I need this._

"On your knees." I command her. She doesn't think twice, as she crashes down on her knees. 

Her fingers graze over my dick. I can't wait anymore. I pull down my briefs, letting my hardness spring out. She licks my tip, electricity jolting throughout my body. 

"Fuck" I let out an exasperated whisper before gripping all of her hair and pushing her head down on my dick. 

"You're such a dirty whore, aren't you?" I feel her hum against me as she struggles to take all of me. "Look at me." She looks up at me, teary eyed with her eye makeup smudged. "Show me how much you want me. Prove it to me." 

She starts bobbing her head up and down my length faster, sucking me harder while her two hands twist at my base. 

More. 

I grip onto her hair even more, placing one hand on the wall behind her for support as I buck my hips, mouth fucking her.

I can see her struggling "come on, be a good girl for me. Prove to me that you want me."

I feel myself edging, but it's not enough. I need more. 

I pull her away from me, pushing her against the wall, pulling her skirt up and pulling down her laced panties. 

_I need this._

I tease her clit, gliding my tip against her folds.

"Draco—Fuck" she muffles as I cover her mouth.

"Shut up." I look at her watery brown eyes. She looks at me with desire. Hunger. She wants me. "You want me to hurt you?" She nods her head quickly. 

"Speak up, whore. Do you want me to hurt you?"

She muffles yes under my hand. Before she can even react, I thrust myself into her, holding one of her legs, wrapping it around my torso so I can push further into her. 

I watch her expressions as she flusters with pain and pleasure. But with me, there's nothing. 

I feel nothing. 

I'm on the edge but I can't let myself go. I can't do it. My body doesn't allow me to. 

Why?

I need to hear her. I need to hear how much she wants me. I take my hand off of her mouth. I didn't cast a muffliato but I don't care. 

_I need this._

"DRACO OH MY—FUCKKKK!" I can feel her muscles contracting around me. She can't finish, not until I'm done with her. 

"You won't come until I tell you to."

"Draco plea—I—" she moans as I cut her off by crashing my lips back on hers. 

She's screaming, moaning, and now I'm kissing her, why is nothing working?

"How much do you want me you fucking whore?" I whisper breathily against her lips.

"So—fucking—much—fuckkkk Draco plea—"

I thrust into her harder as I see tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. 

"Take—it—whore" I push myself deeper and deeper. I can feel her desperation as her walls contract tighter and tighter. She wants to release. 

Even her pleads don't affect me. 

_Fuck._

I look at her, trying to take in any feature of her that attracts me. But nothing appeals to me. Pansy has never attracted me, only her cunt. And now that's not even enough. 

Why isn't it enough?

I take in her image, and close my eyes for a moment. Images flash in my mind. 

That dress. 

That long black dress with a slit that allowed my eyes to travel up her perfect, soft legs.

Those red lips. Those plump red lips that fought for attention over her fierce fiery chocolate eyes. 

Those eyes. Those mysterious eyes hidden with secrets. 

Her scent. Vanilla, jasmine, orange blossom. I have here scent memorized.

Her touch, as she trailed her fingers down my chest and unbuttoned my shirt.

Her heavy breathing against my lips as I slid my fingers across her inner thigh, moving up. 

I hold onto this image in my head. I hold onto her, hoping I could hold onto her the same way that night at the ball. 

I finally feel something, picking up my speed; fingernails clawing into my back before I pull her hands and pin them on the wall behind me. 

"Yes Drac—" she moans louder and louder. 

_I'm almost there, come on._

I remember her freshly bathed body when the wet drops of water glistened on her skin under the moonlight. 

Her bare face with those tiny freckles spotted along her nose. 

Her plump cheeks as they flushed when I was kissing her neck.

Her curves, those full, perky breasts... Everything.

Everything about her made me crave her more. 

"Fuckkkk—" I grunt, my eyes still closed as I feel myself peaking closer and closer to her image. "Come for me." I allow her to come. Her muscles spaz uncontrollably as she instantly releases herself with a loud moan.

After a couple more thrusts, I let myself go, letting my soul leave my body with the image of a girl I can't have. All the tension, the weight on my shoulders leaving me.

A couple seconds. Just a couple seconds of this was all I needed until I come back to reality and everything comes crashing down on me. Her image fading away in my mind, leaving me. 

Leaving me like she left me that night. 

Hungry, and wanting more.

No one has ever left me. No one. But she did. And she left this feeling in my gut that I can't accept.

I couldn't accept.

And now she's here. So close yet so far. 

The only way I can get her out of my head. The only way I can get back control is by taking hers away.

I need to make her desire me. Make her weak for me. She will be weak for me. 

I will get my satisfaction, very, _very_ soon. 

I've found out some things about her, and I'm waiting for the perfect time. 

Then she will be nothing but a faded memory. I'll leave her feeling empty and powerless like she left me that night. She will fall apart for me.

Asya Karkaroff _will_ surrender herself to me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this chapter was a lot to take in. 
> 
> The longest one I've written so far. I have a lot planned; I wasn't lying when I said this would be an emotional roller coaster...


	13. PROMISE

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

After a couple face masks, joints and making younger years cry, I think it's safe to say that I'm back and better than ever. 

I'm on good terms with Snape, well, depends on you define 'good terms.' He still doesn't smile, but other than that he's not playing therapist again. Daphne now hangs out with me. I can tell she thinks we're friends. I'll let her think that, she will really come in handy. Especially because we can now bond over our hatred for Pansy. 

Speaking of which, my plan didn't give me my desired outcome. Pansy is happy and even more touchy with her "Dracey poo." They're not dating, but she's _so_ desperate for his attention and he's _so_ desperate for something he can put his dick in. 

My grades, amazing as always. Top of the class; only problem is, I'm tied with Hermione Granger. I don't like ties, there are winners and losers. There cannot be more than one winner. That Granger girl, she's too wise. She could be sleeping and she'd still know of everything that was talked about in class. I might have to _influence_ her some way.

Dumbledore owled me this morning; he wants to speak with me. I don't like him. Not only does he have prejudice against Slytherins but because I'm a Karkaroff, he's extra _observant_ with me. 

_Manipulative geezer._

Before I enter, the doors to his study open at my presence. It's like he's been expecting me. I go inside before he can even invite me in, and I take a seat.

"Miss. Karkaroff, I called you into my study because I have some important matters to discuss."

I look at him, waiting for him to tell me. He takes my silence as a "go on". "Yesterday night my study was broken into. One of the elves found your file misplaced in the shelf."

"Okay? I'm not sure I understand how this concerns me. Your elf must have misplaced it."

"That's not possible, to this day we have never had a file misplaced. I suspect that someone was trying to find something about you in your file."

"Do you know who?" 

"Unfortunately, whoever entered here planned their entry carefully. Whatever magic they used, they made sure not to leave a trace."

Why would someone want to—

_That motherfucker._

"Well, clearly they weren't careful enough." I scoff.

"Yes well, nothing was stolen from your file which is good. I just wanted to inform you about the situation. But don't worry, I've placed some more charms to secure my study, so this should not happen again, hopefully."

 _Hopefully?_ Is he not supposed to be the greatest wizard in history?

I thank him and leave his study, walking towards the Great Hall. 

I'm going to _kill_ him.

But he's smart. Keeping his friends close and enemies closer. That's why he's been acting strange lately...

"Hey bitch, miss me?" Willow walks up to me, putting her arm around my shoulder.

"Not one bit." 

"Shut up, you know you missed me." 

_Whatever floats your boat._

"And me" Theo joins in, walking on the other side of me.

I turn to see Willow's face instantly turning red.

"So... did you guys fuck again or is Willow having a reaction to one of her drugs?" I look straight ahead continuing to walk, but they both stop.

When I turn around, I see Willow holding Theo from the collar of his shirt, giving him a look. Her _"I'm gonna kill you"_ look.

"It's okay he didn't have to say anything, it's pretty obvious." I walk back towards them. 

Willow gives him a final glance before letting him go. "We were high." She explains.

"Oh come on, not that one ti—" I hear Theo grunt as Willow shoves her elbow into his stomach.

The three of us walked together in silence for a moment before that silence is ruined. "Holy shit!" Theo yells out, staring across the hall with his eyes wide open in shock.

It's Blaise... with his tongue shoved down Daphne's throat. 

_Of course._

"Oi, Blaise!"

Blaise turns around, staring at Theo in shock, Daphne stares back with the same expression.

"You naughty boy. So that's whose been giving you all those damn marks lately." He wiggled his brows at them. "Well, go on then, I'll leave you two love birds to it. I won't look. Unless you want me to..." he winks.

"Oh, for fucks sake Theo come on," I pull him by his arm

"You're not off the hook Zabini. We'll discuss this later today in the mancave!" he yells as I drag him along with me, the three of us making our way to the Great Hall.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

We enter the Great Hall, and coincidently Draco and his mutt happen to be sitting together. I can see him trying to pry her away from him; she's latching onto him like a leach. Until all of a sudden, his eyes notice me and he decides to pull her on his lap. 

_Attention whore._

I'll give him that attention when my wand is shoved down his throat after he tells me what he found out about me. Although, I doubt he found anything of his use. Nothing he can use against me could be found in my school records.

We walk over to the table, and I hear an annoying voice "Karkaroff, why are _you_ here? Don't you have a murder to plan?"

"Yes, yours." I smile at her, while she rolls her eyes turning back to Draco, eating his face. He looks tense and I can tell he doesn't like it. But he's trying _so_ hard to make it look like he's enjoying himself.

"Oh for fucks sake, I already witnessed Blaise and Daphne's smoochy moochy action this morning, I don't need _this_." Theo fakes a gag.

She pulls away, flicking Theo off before whispering something in Draco's ear. 

_What are they trying to prove?_

I let out a sound of disgust, eating my food. Pansy immediately snaps her head my way. 

"Got a problem Karkaroff? It's okay, no need to be jealous, I'm sure you'll find someone who's interested in you." She laughs.

"I have. The boy who's lap you're on right now." I hint, smiling at her, then glance at Draco. He looks at me with a smug yet confused expression. 

_Idiot_.

"As if." She scoffs, "No one wants to risk catching something by touching _you_."

"Pansy darling, I think you might want to go to the infirmary to get _yourself_ checked out, this room reeks of you, just like the bathrooms." I give her a blunt reply, and continue to eat my food like nothing happened. The bathrooms are their go-to hookup spot. It smells like sex and Pansy; I can't even go in anymore.

Willow and Theo snort at my retort and I can see Daco's mouth quirking slightly. 

Before Pansy can open her mouth, Theo cuts in "soooo, there's a party tomorrow night. Same place, Shrieking Shack. And you're all coming, I want to show off the renovations."

"Renovations?" I ask him.

"Yep" he places emphasis on the 'p' "I've been wanting to do something with it for a while. I spent the past three weeks cleaning things up, so I expect to see some pleased faces."

"Why'd you spend so much time on it? Its trashed anyways" Willow asks. 

" _Was_ trashed, and, I like designing and decorating rooms, it's therapeutic." He takes a sip of his water and continues "besides, there will be separate rooms and everything. So, we don't have to see images like _these_ " he eyes Pansy and Draco "anymore." 

"Fuck off, you wank off to images like _these_ " Draco snorts.

Theo flicks him off.

After a couple minutes of Pansy ranting about her classes, and Willow giving Theo some of her ' _goodies'_ from under the table, I hear laughs from behind me.

"Baby, why are they looking at you like you're a full course meal?" Willow nudges me, nodding her head for me to turn around.

I do, and notice Montague, Pucey and Warrington all staring at me with smirks plastered on their faces before turning away to whisper something to one another.

_Ew._

I ignore them and turn back to Willow "I am a meal, they're just looking to feast I guess." I return to eating. 

"What, not had enough of Montague? I wouldn't be surprised if you took the three of them." Draco scoffs smugly. 

"What can I say, I just can't get enough of him, he knows how to leave me satisfied." I lie, trying to hold back on the bile at the back of my throat just thinking about that one night. He's a dog, a literal dog.

"Whore." Pansy mumbles. 

"What's that?" I look up at her "not _you_ calling _me_ a whore when you've slept with your best friends crush and now your back on _his_ lap with your mouth sewed on his dick because you're so desperate your cunts the only thing keeping him with you." 

A moment of silence spreads the Great Hall; I think I spoke a little too loud because everyone is staring at us. 

Oh well. 

Her face turns red before she fires back "just admit you're jealous of me so we can move on."

"Did you not lose your best friend to me? Who's to say I won't take _him_ away from you too just to see that pug-like frown on your face." I smile at her. I notice Pansy's eye twitching form anger. Willow and Theo's mouths are agape, while Draco bites the inside of his cheek holding himself from sneering. "Enjoy the rest of your day" I get up and leave, not looking back. She knows what I said is true. If only she knew that that her boy toy would be dead very, _very_ soon. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I just came back from the library. Tried to distract Granger but she wouldn't budge. So, I _may_ have compelled her to screw herself over.

_"On next week's transfiguration test, you will purposely get every question wrong on the first page."_

_"On next week's transfiguration test, I will purposely get every question wrong on the first page."_

_"Good girl."_

Snape doesn't like when I use my hypnosis to compel people for "selfish reasons," but what's the point if I can't use it in times of need. This _is_ a time of need, either I compel her to fail her tests, or I get rid of her. The first option was _way_ easier. I would've gotten her to get _every_ question wrong on all the pages, but I had to be a little realistic.

If only I could easily compel Draco. I would get him to serve me like a slave, that would really tarnish his "image." But I can't, maybe it's his occlumency. But then again, I've been able to hypnotize Occlumens before. 

_Ughhh, why is everything so difficult with him?!_

As I walk through the halls, I see a group of kids looking at me. When I notice, they look away, whispering to one another. 

_What the fuck do they want?_

Oh wait, okay I remember.

_"You touch my arse again, I rip off your arms, understand?"_

_"Y-y-yes"_

_"I don't like stuttering. Speak clearly."_

_"Yes."_

_"Good. Now shoo."_

Horny third year bastard decided touching my arse would make him look superior in front of his friends. In the end, he left bawling his eyes out, running away.

I ignore them, I have _business_ to attend. Although hanging them off of a tree by their trousers doesn't sound like a bad idea... 

I'm close to approaching the Slytherin common room, before I feel someone grab my arm, yanking me into a closet. It's dark but I don't need a light to know who it is. I recognize the smell of his cologne, while feeling his minty breath fans against my face. 

_Ahhh, great minds think alike. I was just about to find him._

"Leaving so soon?" I hear his low voice vibrating against my ear. 

"Lumos" I whisper, only to see him right in front of my face. 

"What? Not happy to see me?" He smirks, "what was that you were saying in the Great Hall? about me"

I give him a blank expression as he continues "something about taking me away if I remember correctly?"

"I'm glad your memories working alright." I flick his forehead. He grips my arms and pushes me back. 

"You're confident if you think you can take me." He chuckles.

"Was I lying?" I trail my fingers down his chest, then pull away. He comes closer to me, cornering me as his hands are on the wall behind me. 

"You know... I have an offer that I think may appease your interest. Both of our interests..." He picks up a strand of my hair, observing it as he twirls the curl between his fingers, before back at me "You can take me, but under on condition."

I peak my brow, interested to hear what bullshit he's going to say now.

"Beg." 

My serious face breaks into laughter. "We're playing this game again? I thought I ended it?"

"It doesn't end until I say it ends. Come on, you want to make Pansy mad, and I just want a quick fuck."

"I can easily make Pansy mad, just with my presence. But that's not the real reason you want this is it?" I pull on his tie so he's closer to me. "What do you want?" I flicker my eyes to his lips and back up to his eyes, whispering my breath over his lips.

His eyes light up with mischief, "you know exactly what I want." He scans my body with his eyes. 

"Mhmmm, I think you want more than just to break my back. I think you want to break me, correct?" 

He smirks at my response. "Oh, come on, I left you at the ball, you're used to getting what you want. I didn't give it to you. I end up coming to Hogwarts, so you decide _"here's my opportunity."_ You try to hurt me and scare me to feed your ego, but I don't budge. And now you've come to gain back control. Isn't that right?" I run my fingers through his hair on the back of his head, just like the night of the ball, pulling him closer so that I can whisper in his ear "isn't that why you can't stay away. Why we keep playing this little cat and mouse game. Why you've been snooping around my school records?" I look back at him to catch his reaction. 

He looks at me with a proud expression on his face "I was wondering when you'd figure it out."

"Yes well, next time try placing the file in the proper spot." I tightly grip both of my hands around his throat, switching positions so now he's the one corned in the wall. 

"You think you can outsmart me? Doing your research on me trying to figure me out so that you can have some type of leverage to use against me." I laugh at him digging my nails into the sides of his neck as I tighten my grip. But is doesn't affect him as he continues to look at me with a satisfied expression on his face. "You want revenge. Don't you? You want to hurt me. Punish me for making you feel this way. Weak, powerless." I hover my lips over his "did I hurt your ego mhm?" I look daringly into his eyes "so do it. Punish me. Release your built-up anger, tension, hatred." 

I see his Adams apple bob. He pushes me against a wall, pulling my arms behind my back possessively, gripping my hair so that the side of my face presses against the wall. I could easily hex him right now, but seeing him drown in sexual tension gives me energy. "Mhmmm smart girl, aren't you? But not that smart. You think you've read into me. But you know nothing. In fact, you've been doing some research of your own as well. Trying to get in my head, you don't think I know you're a Legilimens? It's not that easy." He lets out a low chuckle, inching closer to me as I feel his bulge press against me. His mouth grazes over my ear, as his warm breath gives me goosebumps "you're going to willingly give yourself up to me. You're going to _want_ me. You're going to _scream_ for me. _Beg_ for me. You will _break_ for me. Until then, the game continues unless I say otherwise." 

_We'll see just who's begging in the end._

He releases my arms, backing away.

I turn around, stretching my hand out towards him "Promise?" I look at him innocently.

He grins slyly, reaching out to tightly shake his cold hand with mine "promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually so excited for the future chapters, the spice is building uppppp ;))


	14. NEON LIGHTS

****

**I recommend listening to Pour it Up (slowed+reverb) by Rihanna.**

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I re-apply my nude gloss, apparating to the Shrieking Shack with Willow and Daphne. I thought Daphne would switch up her attitude but it's been weeks and she's still not talking to Pansy. I'll keep her for now. 

I made sure to dress to impress. Especially since Theo said he renovated the place; I feel more comfortable wearing decent looking clothes. 

_"red is your colour."_

I remember Draco commenting on my red lipstick that one day in the washroom. So, I'm wearing a low-cut red satin midi dress, that hugs my curves perfectly, with a slit that shows off my luminous, tanned legs. My eyes are a natural bronzed smokey eye and I kept my hairs natural curls, taming them with a little hair gel scrunched in it. I'm feeling extra confident tonight, especially because I now know Draco's intentions. I'll certainly be using that to my advantage.

Once we arrive, I take a quick glance at the place. I'm impressed. Theo really did renovate this place. There are a couple bean bag cushions on the ground, a lounge area, an actual bar, neon lights, and as promised, separate rooms. I look to the left and notice a pole. Of course, he would add this here. I'm surprised he could do so much from so little of a space.

"Ladies" Theo walks over to us, kissing the top of each of our hands, making his way to Willow before she puts her fingers on his lip to stop him from kissing her, but he takes the opportunity to plant a kiss on her fingertips. "You're all looking good enough to eat tonight." 

"Theo shut the fuck up before I make you eat my fist." Blaise joins us, pulling Daphne by his side. 

"What do you lot think about the place? A beauty, isn't she?" Theo looks around the place, mesmerized by his work. 

"Ayyy nice job, it doesn't smell like WAP and weed anymore." Willow nudges Theo's arm. 

"I've installed a muggle device called an air exchanger; it helps with air circulation so that helped with the smell." He turns to me and gives my body a quick scan "and you? What does our queen Asya think of the place?"

"Not bad." I give him a blunt reply.

"Not bad." He scoffs "Okayyyy." He rolls his eyes at me, looking down at his shoes. 

_He's such a child._

"Okay fine, you did a good job. It looks nice." I kiss his cheek, that's the best answer he'll get from me. 

He lifts his head back up, his eyes beaming with joy "if pouting is all it takes to get a kiss from you, then that'll be my new resting face." He pouts again. 

"Don't push it, or I'll burn this place down." I squeeze his cheeks before giving him a playful slap. 

"Care for a tour ladies?" Theo brings out his arms, linking one with mine and one with Willow's. 

We walked around the place. He showed us the rooms; we ended up interrupting Blaise and Daphne's quickie, Theo made us some cocktails in his new bar. Everything's great, except, I don't see Draco. And if I want to tease him to misery tonight, I need to find him.

I feel a warm hand snakes around my waist from behind, causing me to turn around. 

"Well, well, well, look what we have here." 

Ew. It's Montague.

He licks his lips, leaning his head to the side to take a good look at me.

"Are you done?" I scowl at him.

"Not yet, I will be when I take you under me later tonight though." He smirks.

His bluntness makes me want to rip his tongue out. Just as I'm about to grab my wand, his eyes widen, gulping as he looks behind me. Then he slowly backs away, leaving like he just saw a ghost. 

I didn't even touch him yet, why was he so scared. 

"Did I ever tell you red is your colour?" I feel a whispery breath tickle my ear. 

His cologne is enough for me to visualize him in my head. 

_Draco_.

He grips my waist, spinning me around to look at him. I can't help but notice his smooth, freshly shaved face, sharp jawline, and icy eyes. They look numb like always, but with a glint of desire. His eyes go lower, observing my body in the dress. My eyes copy his, observing his body. He's wearing black pants and a collared black shirt, with a couple buttons open, just enough to see his toned chest glistening under the neon lights. 

There's something about him in all black. I hate him but I don't hate how he looks.

I notice myself staring at him for a little too long, as he catches me staring, breaking me from my trance. 

"Did you wear this for me?" He looks at me attentively, the corner of his mouth curving up. 

"No, I wore it for myself." I reply curtly.

He nods, unconvinced "not bad" he says, referring to my outfit. 

_Not bad my arse I know he'll be thinking about this dress every time he's with Pansy._

"Mhmm, not bad indeed." I repeat his words, looking at his outfit. 

I look over to the side to see Pansy biting her nails while staring me down; her leg is bouncing from anger. 

She can't even do much because she's not dating him. But if she could, she would probably rip my hair out, resulting in her own death.

I lean in to whisper to Draco's ear, "I think you need to keep your mutt on a leash, she looks like she's ready to pounce." 

He looks at me, chuckling lowly before whispering "I think I should keep you on a leash too, just for safe measures."

_Fuck._

I fix his collar while looking up at him "I don't like to be tamed." 

A smirk grows on his face, "be a good girl and you won't have to be tamed." He looks at me eye to eye. 

I look up at him for a final time, before Pansy walks between us, shoving me away "Draco I want to show you something." 

Draco and I still look at each other. I notice him clenching his jaw, observing me closely as he tries to catch a reaction from me. I break my gaze to look at Pansy as she's turned facing Draco, before I walk away to go to the bar. 

After a couple shots, and Blaise and Theo arm wrestling after their argument about who's stronger than who, I notice Pansy coming out of a room; her makeup smudged as she is wiping the corners of her mouth. Moments later Draco walks out, running his fingers through his hair, that looks slightly messy. 

It's obvious Pansy wanted to prove that he was hers. 

_Okay._

"TIME FOR DO OR DRINK YOU HORNY FUCKERS!!" Theo is standing on the bar table, yelling before jumping off and directing us to follow him to the lounge room. 

Everyone asked questions back and forth, spinning the bottle to pick the next person. Willow spins the bottle and it lands on me. 

_Of course._

"Asya, I dare you to give Theo a lap dance." Theo looks at me, lifting his drink before taking a shot with a smirk across his face.

 _Simp_.

Draco keeps his eyes on me, intrigued to see if I'd actually do it. 

I don't hesitate and get up, walking towards Theo crouching down in front of him. Cheers arise; everyone chanting my name. I take my hands and caress his body, making my way up his thighs, trailing my fingers along his inner thigh, grazing over his crotch area until my hands trail up his chest and to his shoulders. I straddle him, not completely sitting to build the tension as I move my body in a curvaceous motion. His head falls back, and his Adam's apple bobs. I pull his face back up, my fingers holding his chin and I look him in the eyes, dragging his bottom lips down lightly with my thumb before pulling his head back from his hair and grazing my tongue along his jaw. 

I then get up, and turn around, facing Draco. He's sitting with his legs wide open; his veins popping out from his hands and rings squeezing against his fingers as he's gripping hard onto his drink. I notice his tongue glide along the inside of his cheek, as he looks at me with lustful eyes. I sit back on Theo, still facing Draco. I grind my arse on his crotch, and feel him getting turned on. Theo brushes back his hair and carefully touches my waist, as I look straight into Draco's eyes continuing to grind on him, flipping my curly hair out of the way while caressing my body. I notice him shuffling in his seat, rubbing his hand against his jaw. I finally get up, turning back around to give Theo one final straddle, looking him straight in the eyes and lean into his lips. He looks hypnotized, as I hear his breath cut off. I hover my lips over his like I'm about to kiss him, before I get up and sit back in my seat like nothing happened. 

I look back at everyone, their mouths are slightly agape, shocked from what I just did. Theo is red. Very very red. He clears his throat, coming back to reality "I'll be back." He says casually before getting up abruptly and shifting his pants a little, walking towards one of the rooms.

"Holy shit Asya. Were you a stripper in your past life?" Willow laughs at me.

After a couple more dares, Daphne is dared to pole dance. She can definitely dance. Blaise is throwing muggle money at her and everyone is hyping her up. 

I spin the bottle and it lands on Draco. He gives me a smug look, and I return the same expression "Okay, I dare you to..." I wait a moment to build up suspense; anxious and curious faces surround me. "I dare you to kneel down in front of me and beg to touch me. If you do, I'll let you." I notice Pansy looking back and forth between Draco and I, squinting her eyes at me. But I pay my full attention on Draco. I'm curious to see if he'll actually do it or not. 

He gets up from his seat, everyone cheering him to do it, he grazes his tongue over his top of his lip scanning my body before he's close enough that he's hovering over me. I look up at him from my seat, not letting myself break under his gaze. 

He leans over, our faces are an inch apart as he looks at me and down at my lips, moving his face to the side so his cheek brushes against mine. He grabs a bottle of firewhisky, and comes back up looking me dead in the eyes as he chugs the remaining amount without hesitation.

_Fucking tease._

"Malfoy's a big boy he doesn't beg!" Adrian yells out, everyone laughing. But Draco and I still stare at each other daringly as he sits back down in his seat.

"He will." I cut in, everyone looks at me, _"oooos"_ erupting in the room. I smile sweetly at Draco, noticing his jaw clench as he gets up and grabs me by my arm. 

"AYYYYY!" Everyone yells out, cheering us on over Pansy's squealing.

He pulls me into a room, closing the door muffling "colloportus."

"We'll see who's going to beg now." He says, turning around and pushing me on the bed. 

I look straight at him, amused by how horny yet mad he is. "You." I reply bluntly. 

He chuckles, "not tonight _darling_." He makes his way up to me, leaning down and trapping me in my place with his hands pressing to either side of the mattress. "Strip." He commands me. I smirk up at him, and get up from the bed, now pushing him on the bed so he can watch me. 

I turn to face him, slowly pushing down my left strap, moving to the right, exaggerating each movement. I stick both my thumbs in the top part of my dress over my chest, pushing it down my body slowly and seductively. I finally take it off completely, leaving me in a matching black lace garter lingerie.

I walk up to him, straddling him "you seem tense, loosen up." I caress his body with my hands. He looks at me hungrily, flipping me over so now he's straddling me, with my hands pinned on the mattress. He leans in to my ear "you've been a bad girl tonight. Teasing me like that, touching Nott in front of me. Do you know how many guys are going to replay that image in their heads? Replay _you_ in their heads."

"Are _you_ going to replay that image in your head?" I ask him, seductively.

"Over and over again. But I don't think I'd need to, I'll be seeing _this_ image instead. Ready to surrender yourself to me?" He looks me in my eyes, challenging me.

"We'll see," I whisper, wrapping my legs around him and pulling him under me. I push myself off of him, unbuttoning his shirt before leaning down so that I'm looking up at him. I trail my hands up his legs, unbuckling his pants while looking at him. I slowly pull down his pants, and notice his erection peeking through his briefs. "you're excited," I scoff at him before mumbling "pathetic" under my breath. Immediately his hand finds my throat, forcing me to look at him. 

"Let's see how pathetic it is when you're choking on my dick." 

"Whatever you say." I blink up at him innocently, as he slowly releases his grip from my neck, allowing me to continue. He's in for a ride.

I palm his dick, feeling it twitch under my touch. I tug on the band of his briefs, pulling them down. His dick springs out, wet with pre-cum. I kiss his inner thighs, lightly gliding my tongue along it before taking his dick in my hand. I see him exhale heavily, as I lick his tip, waiting for a reaction. He's trying _really_ hard to hold himself back. But I notice his breath shudder. I give him a couple strokes before putting his dick in my mouth, slowly bobbing my head up and down his length. I notice his head tilting back, as he lets out a suppressed groan. I take both my hands, twisting it around his length, from the base while sucking him off. 

" _Fuck_ " he releases a breath.

I don't take my eyes off of his, maintaining eyes contact. I can feel him pulsating and his dick tensing up. He's about to release. I quicken my pace, sucking more as he tightly grips the bed sheets. Before he can release, I take my mouth off of his dick. 

"Beg."

He runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated, "don't fuck with me—"

"Beg to cum and I'll let you cum."

"You're playing a dangerous game Karkaroff."

"Are you going to beg? Or would you rather suffer from blue balls?" 

He stares at me with annoyance and rage. He looks like he's about to fuck me mercilessly and then kill me right after. 

_Good._

I get up from the ground, wiping the corners of my mouth and licking off my fingers. Then I pick my dress up from the ground and put it back on turning to look at him. 

"You might want to take care of that." I say pointing to his erect and swollen dick. "I'm sure Pansy can finish up for me. Come back to me when you're ready to beg."

"Karkaroff you're dea—" I walk out before he could finish his sentence. But I can hear him punch a wall inside the room. 

Everyone turns to look at me with expecting faces. I look at Pansy who's stands up enraged "he's all yours." I tell her, referring to my sloppy seconds before apparating back to my dorm. 

He started the game; I'm going to finish it. 


	15. CLARIFICATION (IMPORTANT A/N!!)

**_Heyyy, unfortunately this isn't a new chapter, I am just clarifying a few things about the story, but there will be a new chapter posted very very soon._ **

_So, I mentioned in the beginning that both Draco and Asya are toxic and numb; that is very true, and as the story progresses you will see more of this. I don't like it when stories overexaggerate toxic traits by having the character slut shame the person every five seconds or have their hands wrapped around each other's throats constantly. It's unrealistic, and takes away from the built-up tension/suspense._

_Currently, Draco and Asya have **NO FEELINGS **for each other, other than built-up sexual tension and hatred. They hate each other because they are so alike and headstrong that whenever one tries to hurt the other, it doesn't work. Asya is literally a female version of Draco, maybe a bit crazier (But Draco can be just as crazy, you'll have to see as the story progresses); that's why Draco, even at his most toxic state, can't break Asya... **Yet**. They both want to find leverage to use against one another and are on a mission to make the other break so that their egos can be satisfied. _

_They both crave power and hate being weak._

_Also, I've mentioned the masquerade ball, and Asya's training sessions very briefly throughout the story. As the story progresses, there will be more details about this stuff. I don't want to spoil everything at once._

_That's it, just wanted to clear up a few things that I personally felt were unclear, other than that, there are some crazy chapters coming ahead..._

**_And, please feel free to comment and vote. I would love to read your reactions/feedback. I started this story over a week ago from boredom and seeing votes and adds to your libraries makes me really happy :))) _ **


	16. TEMPTATIONS

****

**Get some snacks and water, you're in for a rideeee**

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I woke up with a terrible hangover this morning. Luckily for me, Willow gave me these tablets that cure your hangover in a matter of seconds, leaving you as if you hadn't gotten drunk to begin with, so Snape couldn't tell a thing.

I'm finishing up my eggs before I get interrupted "You're fucking nasty."

I turn my head to see Willow staring at my plate then back up at me. 

"What?" I ask her, annoyed because I'm trying to finish my eggs.

"Ketchup and eggs?! That should be illegal, you flavourless bitch."

She's lucky I like her otherwise I would have Stupified her arse across the room. Ketchup and eggs are superior.

"It's good, _you flavourless bitch_ " I shrug, finishing up my last bites.

She scrunches her face up in disgust, fake gagging.

"Helloooo ladies." Theo slides in between Willow and I. "Wills, whatever you gave me last night fucked me up. I'll take five more bags."

"Glad you liked it, Nott." Willow mutters sarcastically. 

"That performance you gave me last night... I'm curious how you'll top that off next time." Theo looks at me, raising his brow.

"Who said there would be a next time? You get what you get and you don't get upset" I pat his shoulder.

"How's it feel knowing you live rent free in everyone's mind from the party?" Willow lifts a glass up at me in a congratulating way.

"Fantastic." I reply sarcastically, wiping the corners of my mouth with my handkerchief.

"What happened last night with Malfoy? He came out of the room furious. Pansy tried to comfort him but he told her to fuck off. And he almost got in a fight with Willow."

He's mad, that sucks.

"Yeah, I don't know what you did but mans called me a Mudblood, whatever, I'm used to it, but then he starts talking crap about my business and that's when all motherfucking hell breaks loose. I was about to knock out his pureblood balls" Willow scoffs, cracking her knuckles in rage.

"I don't know" I shrug "probably upset he couldn't keep his dick hard." I lie. 

His dick was very, _very_ hard. And I left it that way. 

I wonder if he has blue balls, maybe that's why he didn't show up to breakfast this morning...

Theo and Willow both snort, "so that's why you left? Fuck, Asya." she asks me.

" _Pureblood heir Draco Lucius Malfoy suffers from Erectile Dysfunction._ Now _that_ would be a good headline for Skeeter's article." Theo moves his hands in a portrait position, picturing the article. 

"Speaking of Skeeter, bitch hasn't been around for a while. Then again, maybe it's better this way. She was snooping around trying to find shit about my family and our muggle business for a while." Willow retorts.

"Yeah, maybe it is better this way..." I reply dryly. 

Skeeter won't be around for a while... You're welcome.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I walk over to McGonagall's class, taking a seat at the empty desk in the back of the classroom. The further I am, the more time I have to come up with an excuse for not finishing my homework. This is the first time in my life I haven't completed my work. I need to stop distracting myself with this game Draco and I are playing. But then again, I would do anything to see that look of anger and sexual distress from last night on his face again.

"Good morning class, in today's lesson—" _Booooringggg._ I can't listen to this any longer. Mcgonagle lectures the class about the same old stuff. It's all engraved in my head.

"How kind of you to finally show up Mr. Malfoy. Detention this evening in my office."

_Perfect timing,_

"Please have a seat next to Miss. Karkaroff."

_Thank you, Minerva. You've really done me a favour._

I feel his presence getting closer as his scent gets stronger.

He slams his books on the desk. Not loud enough for the whole class to notice, but loud enough for me to notice.

_Drama queen._

I can tell he's craving the attention. I don't give it to him. Continuing to scribble nonsense in my notebook.

He hasn't said or done anything for the past half an hour. Is he really _that_ upset?

I move my leg closer to his, brushing it lightly against his, before pulling away. Just enough to gain his attention and leave him wanting more.

I turn my head slightly over to look at him. He's staring straight ahead. But I notice his jaw clenching. I bite the side of my cheek, holding back a smile before turning away from him.

As I start dozing off before a jolt of chills runs through my body as I feel a cold hand press on my thigh.

His cold hand.

 _Motherfucker_.

The cold metal of his rings touches my skin leaving marks on my thighs as he squeezes my them tightly before loosening his grip to bring my attention to him.

My insides feel like they're doing cartwheels.

I stare at him from the corner of my eye without turning my head. His face is blank, staring straight across the class, pretending to listen to Mcgonagle.

I keep a straight face on, even though I can feel my heartbeat... both of them.

His hand creeps up slowly, higher and higher.

_Just a little more._

No what the fuck is wrong with me. This is exactly what he wants.

A part of me wants to punch him in the face. But the other part of me wanted him to go higher, and then punch him in the face right after.

_His touch is intoxicating._

Before he can go any higher, I close my legs shut, trapping his hand between my inner thighs.

I struggle to keep them shut as he pries them open with one hand. He outlines the lining of my underwear between my left thigh.

More.

I need more.

He glances over at me with a smug expression, knowing damn well what I want. 

_He wouldn't._

_Not in class...._

_Oh, he would._

He slides his fingers gently along my crotch, rubbing circles over my underwear.

_Fuckkkkkk._

I can't even think straight right now.

Why aren't I stopping him?

_Because you don't want him to._

_You horny bitch._

_He's playing with you._

"Shit." I blurt out, covering it with a muffled cough on the inside of my arm.

_Idiot. Fucking idiot._

The entire class turns their head over to look at me, so does Draco... and Mcgonagle.

"I beg your pardon Miss. Karkaroff?"

I hear Draco stifle a laugh.

"My apologies, my throat just felt a bit dry, please continue." I quickly recover before I realize his fingers are still against my underwear. He presses down, applying a little more pressure while rubbing the fabric of my underwear against my clit.

He stares at me, trying to catch every detail of my reaction.

I try so, _so_ hard to keep a straight face. I won't give him the satisfaction.

But I am, he's literally feeling me up. In class.

I clear my throat, trying to warn him.

I could just stop him right now.

But do I really want him to stop?

"Is everything alright?" Mcgonagle asks me.

He quickens his pace, adrenaline pumping through my veins as I can feel myself pulsating against his touch.

"Yeah, is everything alright? You don't look very... comfortable." He questions me, as I catch a small smirk forming on his lips from the corner of my eye.

"Everything is perfect." I respond immediately, looking straight at him with a fake smile on my face before Mcgonagle turns away to continue her lesson.

I immediately pull his hand away from me, but he places it on my thigh again.

"Stop" I whispered, not looking at him.

"Beg" he whispered back.

"Fuck you"

His hand makes his way back up to my inner thigh.

"Malfoy..." I whispered to warn him.

He's doing this on purpose. Teasing me like I teased him.

He doesn't listen, his hand moving up, grazing his fingers against my crotch again.

"Malf—" before I could say anything else, he pushes my panties to the side and thrusts two fingers inside me.

I quickly suck my breath in, bringing my hand to my mouth as I bite on the tip of my thumb, trying to supress any sound that might come out of me.

He starts to rub my clit in circular motions before giving it a light squeeze between his two fingers.

I release a soft exhale from my nose, trying to concentrate on not making any noise.

_Fuck this feels good._

He rubs against my clit slowly, building up the tension before pumping his fingers back in me.

In and out.

In and fucking out.

_Fuckkkkkk._

I want to scream right now.

"Miss. Karkaroff?"

_Did I moan?_

"I will be collecting the homework that was assigned to the class. Please take it out."

_No please don't take it out._

What am I saying?

He starts to speed up, rubbing my clit faster and faster, and pumping his finger inside me, as I feel every nerve in my body shudder. He is destroying me.

"Yes, of course Professor Mc-McGonagall." I reply, feeling my walls tense up.

_Why am I stuttering?_

"Have you finished?" she questions me.

He builds up his speed, I can feel my pussy throbbing, as I hold on to the side of my desk to prevent myself from shaking.

"Almost there" I say, not even realizing how stupid that response was. 

"Miss. Karkaroff, this was supposed to be finished before class."

"She likes to leave things incomplete professor." Malfoy replies smugly.

"I was not speaking with you Mr. Malfoy. Very well, since you have not completed it, I expect to see you at detention this evening. With Mr. Malfoy."

He flicks my clit, rubbing in fast circular motions again, as I am on the brink of letting myself go.

_More, more, more._

I abruptly move my hand to his bulge, squeezing it tightly as a reaction. 

"Fuck! _"_ Draco and I both yell out as he takes his fingers out of me right as I am about to cum.

_Bastard._

"Miss. Karkaroff, Mr. Malfoy! Language!" she said disappointedly. "And Mr. Malfoy, you know the rules, no food in class."

I look over to see him sucking his fingers clean.

"Sorry, I was craving something sweet," he responds, glancing at me for a second while biting the inside of his cheek trying to hold back his smirk.

After class is dismissed, he gets up, gathering his books and leans in whispering "remember this next time you decide to tease me," before leaving.

I'm such an idiot. I knew what he was doing, a part of me knew that he would pull out.

But his touch.

I've never felt this way before. But then again, I haven't been touched like that in a while so it's only natural for me to react that way.

I've gotten fingered before, but this was different. It's like all of his emotions and built-up rage towards me—everything was being expressed through his touch.

I just remembered; we have detention later tonight.

I'll get him back. I'll get him back _good_.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

After dinner, I left for detention. Thankfully, Mcgonagle didn't send us to the Trophy Room this time. But then again, I wouldn't mind having Draco choke me to death from rage like he did last detention... I'm sitting across the room from him; both of us have a perfect line of sight of each other. 

By now he would've cornered me or bent me over a desk forcing me to beg so he could feel more masculine, but Mcgonagle decided to stay in the class this time, so he's sitting down writing an essay about why being late is wrong.

I just finished my essay, so why not edge him a little, it's the least I can do after today's teasing service he gifted me with. "Professor, I've finished my essay." 

"Bring it up to me, please."

I squeeze between the rows purposely, brushing my waist past Draco's arm, and making my way to Mcgonagle's desk before placing it on the pile of essays. "Very well, you may leave." she says, scanning over my paper, before continuing to mark the other essays. She looks well occupied.

I squeeze my way between the desks again, brushing past his arm before he drops his quill. 

_He did that on purpose._

I turn to face him, he looks up at me from the desk, holding back a smirk. I lean down slowly, my arse facing him. I quickly check to see what Mcgonagle is doing. She is still focused on the papers. I lean down lower and lower to get the quill, before rising back up, turning to him and giving it back to him. He clears his throat; I notice him swallow while rubbing the back of his neck with his hands before reaching out to grab his quill. His cold fingers brush against mine ever so slightly as he gives me sarcastic "thank you for your service" nod.

I leave the class feeling satisfied, knowing that I just mooned Draco in detention. I didn't wear any underwear. Instead, I boxed it and owled it to Draco's room before detention, so he'll be getting a nice surprise when he goes back to his dorm.


	17. STRAWBERRIES

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I'm in the common room with Blaise, Willow, Theo, and Daphne. They keep talking about nonsense. 

"Okay but behind his cold demeanor, Snape is daddy." Willow covers her mouth as she chews on a strawberry.

"Yeah, _daddy_ with saggy balls," Blaise snorts.

"Asya would know exactly how saggy they are wouldn't you?" Daphne smirks at me.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know what his balls look like? " I scowl at her, giving her a dirty look.

The thought makes me want to throw up.

"I've seen you a couple times coming out of his classroom after school hours, or talking to him in hallway corners. Don't tell me you're failing." Daphne retorts.

_What is she playing at..._

"If you're insinuating that I'm sleeping with my professor for my grades then you shove that thought up your arse. I'm top of all my classes, I don't need to whore myself off to _daddy Snape_. Although you might need to, I heard you failed his last test."

I look straight at her, and notice the smug look on her face wipe right off when I made that comment.

"Asya" Blaise warns me, placing his hand on Daphne's thigh in a supportive way. 

I look back at him, smiling "Blaise." He gives me a _'leave her alone'_ look.

"Fine." I mutter, rolling my eyes and turning back around.

What does she mean she's seen me a couple times? Is she following me? 

_I should kill her._

_No, calm down, she's a student here, of course she's going to see you._

I just have to be more careful. Fuck, these training sessions with Snape are going to screw me over. He doesn't want anyone finding out about him being my guardian, let alone my training. And it needs to stay that way. People are already trying to find leverage on me... 

I continue eating some strawberries before I feel the couch sink as someone sits beside me. Turning around I notice Montague looking at me with a smirk plastered on his face. A face I so desperately want to burn off.

"Asya, how has your day been?" 

Ew, even his insincere politeness is revolting. 

"Fine, until you showed up, Montague" I smile at him turning away before he interrupts me.

"Oh, come on, I think we've passed this last name stage don't you. Call me Graham, or daddy." He winks at me. 

"Fuck off Monatgoon" Theo calls out.

"Shut up Nott, I'm talking to Asya, isn't that right?" He looks at me, placing a hand on my thigh. 

I'm about to shred him to pieces before I see Draco enter the common room. His hands slowly turn into fists, as his eyes are fixated on the hand on my thigh. His eyes are clouded with anger, as he taps his leg with his hand; something new I've noticed him do whenever he's angry, or frustrated or... jealous.

_Perfect timing._

I turn my focus back to Montague, replying "right," before picking up a strawberry and taking a slow, seductive bite out of it. His gaze drops to my mouth. The juices drip down my fingers, and I notice his and Draco's eyes focusing on my mouth. I take my thumb, middle and index finger, sucking them clean. 

"You've got some there too," Montague points to the juice leaking down my lip. He grazes his thumb over my bottom lip, looking at it hypnotically before a throat clearing sound interrupts us. 

Montague's face goes from relaxed to panicked when he feels a tight squeeze on his shoulder. "Montague." Draco speaks calmly. 

He looks up to see Draco looking down on him with his jaw clenched "Malfoy."

They have a stare down for a couple seconds, speaking to each other with their eyes. The air is thick with tension and everyone is staring at them both. Montague gulps, silently leaving as Draco's eyes follow him. 

_Why is he so scared of him?_

Draco looks down at me, his eyes darkening and his hands grabbing the arm of the couch tightly. I look up at him innocently, passing a strawberry to him "strawberry?" I offer him.

He's jealous. This is hilarious.

He stays silent and bites down, clenching his jaw, looking at the strawberry in my hand, and back up at me.

"Suit yourself" I shrug, bringing the strawberry up to my lips about to take another seductive bite before he grabs it from my fingers, biting the tip off and throwing away the stem. Suddenly he grabs me by my arm, lifting me up from the couch and dragging me out of the common room, as I hear Theo and Willow mutter something to each other.

"She's going to need a wheelchair after he's done with her." Theo snorts.

"Nah, _he's_ gonna need a wheelchair after _she's_ done with him." Willow retorts.

He pulls me into his dorm room muttering a locking spell before he turns to face me. "What was that?"

"What was what?" I ask him in a confused tone. But I know exactly what he's referring to.

"Don't be smart with me, _that_ , with Montague, what the fuck was it?"

"I was eating a strawberry and he just happened to be there."

"No, you weren't just ' _eating a strawberry_.'" He runs his hands through his hair in an exasperated way, circling around his room. I can tell he's trying not to make his jealousy obvious. It's not working. 

"Yes, I was" I smile at him.

Karkaroff" he stops and gives me a deadly glare.

I immediately start laughing hysterically, causing him to move closer to me.

"Think it's funny, do you?" He sneers.

"Very. You're jealous." I point to him. 

He scoffs at me "I am not jealous."

"Bullshit. Why did you pull me in here then? And what was with the staring contest with Montague back in the common room?"

"Fuck off, I'm not jealous. He's just an annoying prat and I wanted him out of my sight."

"Oh, you're not jealous? Okay, I guess I'll be leaving to go find Montague. We have some unfinished business thanks to you." I walk towards the door but he grabs me by my arm, looking down at me.

"Montague wouldn't dare to look you in the eyes anymore" he smirks.

I observe his expression, squinting my eyes at him trying to understand what he means. 

_Of course._

"You threatened him, didn't you?" An amused expression grows on my face. "You told him to stay away, that's why he looked like he saw Dumbledore's arse at the party from a few nights ago, and that's why he got up and left the common room." I let out a laugh "And you still deny you're jealous?"

"I just don't like to share what's mine. Once I'm done with you and the game finishes, you can fuck off and whore yourself off to whoever you want. I don't care."

"What's yours?" I repeat, scoffing at his remark. "You can't be serious. Since when am I yours?"

Who does he think he is? I belong to no one.

"Since now." He gives me a devilish grin.

"No." I give him a blunt reply.

"Excuse me?" 

"Did I stutter? I said no." 

"You don't have an option." He uses the tip of his finger to tilt my chin back to meet his gaze.

"Oh, but I do. I'm not an object. You're confusing me with that Parkinson of yours. I won't beg for your attention. I won't let you own me. I am not yours to own."

"Are you really going to be testing me right now?" His expression turns cold. 

"Yes." 

"Not very wise, especially after the state I left you in yesterday. You were on the verge of yelling my name in the middle of class."

"Mhmm funny, if I remember correctly, you punched a wall and caused a whole scene because I didn't let you come. At least I can finish myself off without having a temper tantrum." 

"Oh yeah, and what do you think about when you finish yourself off." He speaks lowly, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

"Montague." I flash him with an amused smile. His eyes spark with jealousy and rage again.

"You're mine Karkaroff." He looks down at me possessively. 

_Why is this kind of turning me on..._

"No, I'm not." I reply in a sing-song voice. "What, are you gonna go and cry? Come on, you're a Malfoy, I'm sure daddy's allowance is enough for you to buy yourself a couple whores." I nudge his shoulder.

"How much do you want?" He scans my body, popping open one button on my blouse.

Nope. Not today.

I spit on his face, waiting for a reaction. He lets out a low chuckle, clenching his jaw as he wipes the spit off of his face with the sleeve of his uniform, grabbing me by the throat and slamming me into a wall with one hand while grabbing my face, and squeezing my cheeks with another.

_Aaaand he's back._

"Don't provoke me." His eyes pierce straight through my soul.

"Or what?" I muffle out of my squeezed cheeks, before forcing face out of his hands. "You're underestimating me, it's starting to hurt my feelings. I think you're forgetting that the only reason your able to have your hands wrapped around my neck right now is because I'm letting you. Otherwise, my wand would've been shoved down your throat a long time ago."

"Is that so?" He looks intrigued by my comment, yet unconvinced. He doesn't think I can do it.

"Yes, it is so." My tone mocks him.

"Karkaroff, I think _you're_ underestimating _me_. I'll admit, I'm impressed by your emotional stamina. You've held up quite nicely. Normally, people would be crying from their fear of me but your perseverance motivates me." He moves in closer "You have no one. Do you realize that? Do you realize how lonely you are? How vulnerable you are? You could die tomorrow and no one would notice. You hold the last name, have the blood, the heir, of a tainted death eater, thinking that will protect you. Yet you're making enemies with the wrong crowd. Your confidence is truly admirable."

"Tainted death eater? Your father's not all that if I'm not mistaken. I've lost count of the number of times my father cleaned up after his arse. Your father is a weak, disappointment to the Dark Lord, and you will be too." I'm trying to get a rise out of him. Maybe he'll be angrier than that one time in detention... 

His grip on my throat tightens "You will not speak of my father, nor do you have the reputation to do so. Your father was a disgraceful cheat, and now he's dead. Sooner or later, you will be too."

I laugh at him, and he scoffs at my amusement "tell me, how's your mother doing?" He smirks, looking at me attentively trying to weigh my reaction. 

_No he didn't._

"What?" I look at him blankly. I'm trying really hard to keep my emotions intact.

"Your mother, I hope she's well." 

_That's it he's fucking dead._

"Let go of me." I warn him, looking him dead in the eyes.

"What? What's wrong, why the long face?" He sneers at me.

"Malfoy, I said let go of me." I give him a final warning.

He still has his hands wrapped around my throat, but looser than before. So, I swing my hands between his arms, pushing them a part now pinning him to the wall with my dagger at his throat. "I don't know what you're playing at but be very careful with your involvement with me. And keep your nose out of my business because I won't be so forgiving next time." I say calmly, pulling away and unlocking the door. 

Before I leave, I turn back around "ugh, we forgot to time it." Referring to the time in detention when I suggested we timed how long he could choke me for. "Maybe next time... if you're still around until then." I hint to him in a menacing manner, leaving the room. 

Does he know?

_No that's impossible, he can't know._

Then why is he bringing up my mother?

And why the hell is he still digging for information about me? What is he up to?

_Fuck._

I go back to my dorm, and drink the vial I keep under my bed. I drink a little more than usual. 

He's bluffing.

He's trying to get under my skin.

Thats all.

I need to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. I can't let my guard down. He's hiding something. I'm going to figure it out. I just need to keep him close. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I saw the way her eyes lit up when I mentioned her mother. 

I saw her fear, anger, anxiousness. 

She is very lucky that I'm supressing myself. I would've taken that dagger out of her hand and glided it down her body until she begged me to stop. Show her who she's playing with. But I can't lose control. Not if I want to get what I want from her. 

She's not that strong girl that she pretends to be. And today proved it. I'm slowly getting under her skin. This was the first time I've ever gotten a reaction out of her. She's hiding something. I'm going to figure it out. I just need to keep her close.


	18. DARK DESIRES

****

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

He's kissing every square inch of my body, going lower and lower. "You're mine." He glides his tongue along my folds, devouring me, worshipping me, humming "You're mine."

"More... " I buck my hips against his mouth, tugging on his white blonde strands. 

"Beg." 

"What?"

"Beg."

"No."

"You're mine."

"No, I'm not."

"You're mine." He snakes his hand around my throat, his silver eyes turning dark blue, his white blonde strands darkening into a deep brown.

"You're mine..."

_**"My precious."** _

_**"Avada Kadavra!"** _

I jolt awake, running my fingers through my hair. 

_What the hell was that?_

I look over to see Willow's bed empty, turning over to the clock. 

Fuck I'm late for class.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I walk into class, trying to seem as calm as possible. However, calm I can be after waking up from _that_ nightmare ten minutes ago. I've never felt so pathetic in my life. I just had a wet dream about Draco fucking Malfoy, and on top of that I'm late to class. I'm _never_ late to class. 

I hate admitting this to myself, but I liked it. I really fucking liked it. Until I saw _that_ bastard in my dream. He's what turned it into a nightmare. 

"Miss. Karkaroff, you're late." Snape snaps his head at me, giving me a questioning glare. 

_Noooo, really?_

I give him an apologetic smile, taking a seat. Draco's seat is empty. He's skipping class again, not that I'm surprised. Besides, I really can't see him right now, my body's still processing what happened this morning.

"We will discuss this after class." He turns away from me, and I hear a snort in the back. I turn around and notice Pansy, and Adrian staring at me, twisting their hands, sticking their tongue out from the inside of their cheeks in a blowjob motion.

I ignore them and turn away. Snape mentions that we will be duelling soon. I'm excited, it gives me an excuse to hurt people. Maybe I can throw in a couple stupefy's or _accidently_ say an Avada for Pansy dearest. 

After class ends, I wait behind, Pansy and Adrian both staring at me, laughing their way out of class. 

_The fuck are they laughing at?_

"He will want you by his side very soon. The next meeting is at the end of the month so, you will have to attend."

I don't know if I should feel relieved or not. I've been training for this moment my whole life. I've endured hell for this moment. This better be worth it... 

"Does he have anything to offer me besides being by his side and doing his dirty work?"

"Choose your words wisely. Protection. He will offer you protection. But for a price. You fulfill all his orders and keep your mouth shut. That means no attitude." 

_Okayyy._

"Me? Attitude? I am a perfectly polite young woman." 

He looks at me in disbelief. "I'm serious." 

"Okay okay. In the meantime, I need to ask you a question." I look down at my feet for a moment. I'm not really sure how to ask him this without outing myself.

"Go on."

"Is it possible that I may have developed a resistance to the effects of your potion?" He raises a brow at me, looking offended but concerned. 

"No. Why are you asking me this?"

"I've been feeling... off lately. I hear voices in my head sometimes. I saw _him_ in my dream. I haven't seen _him_ in my dream since before you gave me the potion. And it's affecting my emotions."

I left out the part where I saw Draco too. He doesn't need to know about that. 

"I told you it would have some side effects. My potions always fulfill their purpose given that you take them properly, at the right dosages." He looks at me skeptically.

"Yes, I know, I take one drop daily." I lie, I usually take however many drops I need. The more desperate I feel, the more I take.

"Good."

"But could you maybe give me something stronger?"

"I cannot give you anything else. This potion is the best you'll get. Nothing else can help, you just have to learn to cope with a few things."

"Yes, well thank you for your helpful advice, I'll be sure to learn how to cope with a few things." I reply sarcastically.

With the shit I've had to 'cope' with, I should be in St. Mungos.

After talking a bit more about my newer training routines, he dismisses me "6 AM tomorrow, don't be late."

"Yep" I wave him off.

The potion isn't enough, I need something more. Maybe I'll just increase my dosage more for now. He said I shouldn't but I've been doing it for months, it barely makes a difference; only gives me short term results.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

"6 AM tomorrow, don't be late."

"Yep."

So, she's becoming a death eater in a month, _fantastic_. I'll definitely be seeing more of her, unless the Dark Lord kills her. 

What potion was she talking about?

And why is Snape so involved with her? The potions, the training, what is she hiding?

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I come out of the shower, my hair and body wrapped in a plush white towel as I change into my black silk robe, and comb my fingers through my wet strands. I _really_ needed this, today's been a long day.

I don't know what to be concerned about. The fact that I saw Draco in my dream or the fact that I also saw _him_.

He's gone, but he still haunts me like a fucking ghost. 

Could someone be using Legilimency on me? But that's not possible, I'm always able to block everyone out. And with the potion... this shouldn't be happening. 

_You want him._

No, I don't.

I sit on my bed, taking a couple deep breaths. I just need to relax, I've just been stressed lately, that's all. I could really smoke some of Willow's weed right now. She wasn't lying when she said one hit from her stuff and you'll be living your best life. All of a sudden, an owl appears at my window with a small box and a note. I take retrieve them, and it flies away. Opening the box, I see an array of chocolate covered strawberries filled to the rim. Right next to it, I see something wrapped tightly in a red pouch. 

_You're joking._

He sent me a muggle vibrator.

_Use it._

Stop.

I proceed to open the note that came with it.

_**Come by my dorm room in ten minutes. Don't be late.** _

_**Your owner.** _

_'Your owner.'_ Stubborn idiot.

I'm not sure whether I should be angry, anxious, turned on or amused. I shouldn't go. Make him wait in his room all night while I sit here enjoying these strawberries.

_What if he poisoned them?_

Okay, maybe I won't eat the strawberries.

But maybe I should go... I kind of _do_ want to go. Most likely it'll be another one of his teasing games trying to get me to beg. But I'm not hating these games... He really thinks he'll get me to beg, I'm just waiting for him to give up.

After fifteen minutes, I show up at his door. Before I can even knock, the door swings open. He leans against the door frame, looking down at me, observing my robe before moving aside, allowing me to enter. 

His room smells like his cologne. I'm surprised by how it looks. There's an assortment of books in his bookshelf, no clutter lying around. He's... organized. Who would've thought...? 

The door immediately slams shut, and he grabs the back of my hair, holding my arms behind me. "I said ten minutes, you came in fifteen." He growls in my ear.

_Okay, and?_

"Glad you can tell time." He pulls my head back more, looking down at me. "Your debts to me are adding up. You'll pay the price... eventually." He releases his grip from my hair, pushing me slightly. 

"I hope you liked the gift I sent you, it's the least I could do after your little gift for me" he nods his head towards the box on his desk. The box I sent him with my underwear in it. 

I'm too tired to even give him a snarky response "what do you want?" He walks around his room, rubbing his jaw with his hand before looking at me.

"The question isn't what I want, it's what _you_ want."

"What do you mean?" I squint my eyes at him, trying to understand his intentions.

"You'll see. Sit."

"I didn't come here for a hang out. Just tell me what you want so I can leave. Or do you just miss me, and this is your excuse to see me?"

"Sit." His voice sounds stern as he glowers at me.

"Fine." I reply harshly, walking towards his velvet green armchair.

"Ah ah ah, not there. There." He points to his bed. 

"That's funny. You're not getting me in your be—" Before I can finish my sentence, he lifts me up throwing me on the bed, whispering "Incarcerous."

_He just fucking binded my body!_

"You've really fucked yourself over Malfoy."

"Good." He grins mischievously. "Now, what do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"What do you want me to do to you?"

_What did he say?  
_

I look at him blankly. I'm still processing what's going on. I'm practically naked as my silk robe is slightly sliding off my body and I'm literally on his bed, so being in this position, slows down my brain a bit.

He trails his fingers along the lining of my robe, and starts kissing up my legs, moving to my inner thigh "do you want this?" He kisses the fabric over my pussy. "or this?" he unties my robe, revealing my bralette and panties, as he kisses up my stomach. "this?" he kisses the top of my breast, still covered with the bralette before taking his fingers and rubbing my nipple over the fabric, giving it a light squeeze. 

He moves up to my neck, planting a kiss there, with a little bit of tongue before he moves his face to mine, our noses touching "what do you want Karkaroff?" I can feel his breath on my lips.

_I want you to shut up and fuck me._

No, he's doing this on purpose. He's trying to get me to beg. Trying to get me to surrender myself to him. He's not going to win this game. He won't. I won't let him.

"I want you to undo the binding spell and get the fuck off me." I try to keep my voice as calm as possible.

A smug look grows on his face. "Are you sure?" 

_No._

His eyes glimmer in mischief. He slides down one strap of my bralette, kissing my shoulder. "I don't think you are." He gently rubs his fingers over the fabric on my crotch.

"Stop teasing me. If you're going to fuck me, then fuck me. If not, then get off."

" _Do_ you want me to fuck you?" He looks down at me like I'm his prey. 

"What do you think?"

"Answer my question."

After a moment of silence, I answer his question, "I wouldn't be opposed to it." I try to avoid giving him an answer. 

"Yes or no?"

I let out a sigh before responding, "yes Malfoy, okay? You're already on top of me, so just fuck me." 

He looks down at my lips and back up at me. "Yeah?"

"Yes."

He pulls down the black laced fabric of my bralette covering one of my breasts, capturing my nipple in his mouth, sucking on it. 

_Fuck this feels good._

I feel my breath shudder; he notices and starts flicking his tongue against my nipple, giving it one final suck before massaging and squeezing it between his index and middle finger. 

I'm trying really _really_ hard to supress my moans but I end up letting out a quiet one. He smirks at this "don't hold it in. I want to hear how desperate you are for me."

He repeats the same thing to my other breast, before he glides his tongue from my chest, all the way down my stomach, before stopping at my panties. He looks up at me, noticing my frustration.

"Who do you belong to?"

"For fucks sake." I sigh, dropping my head back.

"This game has been going on for too long. I know you want me."

_Do it Asya._

No.

"Beg. Beg for me to touch you. Surrender yourself to me." He starts to rub his fingers against my underwear. 

_Do it do it do it._

No no no.

"I can touch myself, I don't need you." I glare at him. 

He raises a brow at me, scanning my body. "Okay." He gets off of me, leaving me binded.

_Okay?_

"Where are you going?"

He doesn't respond, entering the washroom for a moment, before coming back.

_This can't be real. It's another dream, right?_

He's naked. From head to toe. My eyes trail down his body, observing his chiselled chest, v-line and moving all the way to his dick. I didn't realize how big it actually is until now.

_Fuck._

He notices me staring, walking towards me and grabs my face between his hands, reaching his hand out in front of my mouth "spit."

_He's wouldn't..._

"Go fuck yourself." He bites the inside of his cheek, looking amused by my response.

"I will. Now spit." I give him a dirty glare. He is so lucky I'm binded right now. I'm going to chop his dick off once he frees me.

I don't listen to him, turning my head way but he pulls be face towards his again, tightening my grip "I don't like repeating myself. Fucking spit on my hand or I'll find a way to get it out of you." 

I give him a _'you're dead'_ look before giving in and spitting in his hand, then spitting on his face "here's some extra, just in case you run out."

He wipes it off his face and smiles slyly before he mutters "you're going to wish you were dead." under his breath, sitting across from me on the bed.

_Is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do?_

Yep.

He takes his hand with my spit on it, and glides it down his hard dick, stroking it in long, circular motions. He starts off slow, looking at me with desire as he starts building up the speed. I can hear his breath hitching as his head falls back in pleasure before looking back at me "look at it." He looks me in the eye, daring me to watch him pleasure himself. I keep my eyes on his, but he threatens me "look at it, unless you want me to freeze your body so you will have to stare at it without even blinking." I give in and lower my gaze, looking at his dick. The more he pumps, the more erect and swollen it gets. 

The longer I stare at it, the more turned on I get. To have him, inside me, fulfilling my desires. The bad thing about this game we're playing, is that there's a lot of tension. I can't even think straight anymore, my hormones are everywhere.

_You weak bitch._

"Go on, touch yourself." He lets out an evil chuckle "you can't can you? But I can, all you need to do is beg."

"I don't beg." I feel my core throbbing. I need a release. I need something, this is too much. 

"Fuck" he grunts, "I want to fuck you so hard right now but you're so stubborn."

No, _you're_ so stubborn.

"If you just surrendered yourself to me, the things I would do to you..."

I look back up at him, staring into his lustful eyes. "What would you do to me?" I say in an innocent voice, slightly biting my bottom lip. 

His eyes flicker to my bottom lip "stop doing that."

_Maybe I can tempt him out of his little game..._

"Stop doing what?" I bite my lip again, tilting my head to the side observing his reaction.

"Fuck." He grunts, stroking his length faster. "I would fuck you in every corner of the fucking school." He tips his head back. "I would ruin that cunt of yours until you're screaming my name. I would fuck your mouth so hard, you wouldn't be able to talk back to me anymore." His breathing gets heavier "I would taste every inch of your body, teasing you until you go insane. I would take one of those daggers of yours, and run the cursed cold blade down your body, poking into you every time you make sound."

He reaches his peak, giving himself his final strokes "I would fuck you like you were mine." He looks me dead in the eyes, with a desire I've never seen before "I would make you mine." He releases, letting out an exasperated moan.

_Fuck me like I'm yours, but I will never be yours._

He takes his index and middle finger, covered in his cum as he places it in front of my lips "suck it."

I look up at him seductively, "suck it yourself."

He grabs my face, squeezing my jaw and cheeks, looking daringly at me "suck. It." 

I look at him for a moment, before moving my mouth on to his two fingers, sucking on them slowly, while circling my tongue around it. He looks at my mouth the whole time; I move my head more so his fingers go deeper in my mouth. As I start to pull myself back up, I bite the tip of his fingers. 

"Fuck!" He grunts in pain, pulling his fingers out of my mouth. 

"Oops." I shrug.

His eyes darken, and he lets out a low chuckle looking at me with a vengeful glare, before going back to the washroom. He's probably going to change.

Nope. He's showering. 

Wonderful, he's having a Malfoy spa day while I'm here binded up, sexually frustrated, and furious in his bed. 

After what felt like a decade, he gets out, fully clothed, his hair slightly damp and ruffled, flowing freely in front of his eyes before he brushes it back with his long fingers. He's wearing black jumper and grey sweatpants, and he's sprayed some cologne. I can smell it; its stronger than before. And it's definitely not helping with my need for a release.

"Where are you going?" I ask him.

"Out." He doesn't even look at me, lifting his shirt up slightly revealing his toned abdomen, as he tucks his wand in his sweatpants pants. 

"No shit. Unbind me and then you can fuck off wherever you want." 

_Unless I kill you first._

"Mhmm, nah, I quite enjoy seeing you tied up, helpless on my bed. It's an image I'll never forget." He smirks at me. 

"Malfoy, I'm not joking, unbind me right now." 

"Karkaroff, I'm not joking, no."

He can't leave me here. He can't. He wouldn't. 

"The spell with undo itself by dawn. In the meantime, get comfortable."

_Dawn?!_

"Malfoy! —" he turns off the lights and leaves the room, slamming the door shut.

I'm going to kill him. Like actually kill him. 

I can't stay here. I can't. 

I need to take my potion soon. 

_Fuck!_

You know, after years of training to be a literal killer, you'd think that I'd learn how to escape a binding spell. But noooo. 

Wait. The lights are closed. 

Nonononono.

This can't be happening. 

I can't spend the night in the dark. I just can't. Especially when the effects of the potion are wearing out. I need some light. And now that I'm gonna be missing the next dose of the potion, I am actually fucked.

He is dead. When I get out of here, he is _dead_.

Unless I die first.


	19. PATHETIC

****

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I left her there the whole night. 

I don't give a fuck, she deserves it. This is nothing compared to what she has coming for her. I spent the night drinking with Theo, Blaise and Goyle before we all just passed out in a corner in Goyle's room. 

It's currently five thirty in the morning and I am _never_ sleeping on the floor again. Let alone in Goyle's room. Bastard snores so fucking much I was close to strangling him in his sleep.

I make my way towards my dorm room. Before opening the door, I lean into it, trying to hear any sound. Anything. But its silent. Maybe she's asleep.

Her? Asleep? While she's tied up in my bed? 

Plotting my murder, now _that_ sounds more like her. 

I wouldn't be surprised if she jumps out from a corner and slits my throat. 

But there is still an hour left until the spell undoes itself, unless I undo it for her.

I open the door, and look around the corner. She's staring up at the ceiling. Not moving. not talking. Just staring.

"Miss me?" I walk towards her. She doesn't budge. No answer. No nothing.

Why the fuck isn't she answering me? She's been tied up for hours and she's still being a stubborn little bitch.

"Answer me." She's still silent. She's not even blinking. Does she sleep with her eyes open?

"Karkaroff?" She finally blinks; so, she's just ignoring me then.

I whisper an unbinding spell, freeing her, but she still looks as tense as before. Not moving. As if she's still binded.

I move closer and nudge her shoulder "Get the fuck up. I want to sleep before class, and I don't want _you_ here."

She still doesn't move. I take this time to observe her face. She is pale. Her usual golden complexion is pale. Her usually vibrant, plump lips are now chapped and pale pink. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot. My eyes lower down, and notice her index finger twitching. 

What the fuck is wrong with her?

I shake her a little. 

Nothing.

I give her cheek a light slap. 

Still nothing. 

What the fuck am I supposed to do with her lying in my bed like this?

"Room" I hear her whisper, her voice sounds weak. 

"What?"

"My—take me to my room" She chokes out. She can barely talk.

I usually wouldn't but she looks fucking terrible. She can't even move. So, I give in and pick her up bridal style. Her head falls back, as her body lays loosely in my arms. She feels cold. It's like the fire that always burns within her just burned out. 

I walk through the halls to her dorm, hoping no one sees us like this. It's fucking embarrassing. I don't carry around _anyone_. Especially not fucking Karkaroff. 

I knock on the door, so her Mudblood roommate can open the door. No one answers. I knock again. Still no response.

Fucking hell.

I whisper "Alohomora," entering her dorm. Both beds are tidy, and unslept in. The Mudblood didn't even sleep in here.

I carefully lay her on her bed, supporting her head as I lower it on her pillow.

"My wand. Bring—my—wand" She croaks out. I look around the room and see her wand on the desk. She usually never leaves her wand. 

I reach it out to her but she doesn't move. So, I take her cold hand and curl it between her fingers. 

"Get—out." She whispers.

I just fucking helped her and she's telling me to get out?!

"You can't even move Karkaroff, just admit you need my help."

I hear her inhale with her mouth closed, her breath trembling "get... out."

"Fine, die for all I care." I get out of the room and walk back towards mine. 

Ungrateful bitch. That's the nicest thing I've ever done, for anybody. This'll just add on to her debts for me.

I can't forget how she looked though. For a moment, I actually thought she was dead. I've never seen her like this. Ever. The way she looked, reminded me of someone. My mother. 

All this time I wanted to break her emotionally, but I think I may have broken her physically. 

I thought she'd kill me once I freed her but she wasn't even moving. She couldn't. Everything about her is just so... strange. But the more time I spend with her, the more I see. 

I'm almost there. I'm almost succeeding.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

After he left, I used my wand to get the potion from under my bed. I couldn't even get up and lift my mattress. I definitely took way more than I usually do, but I needed it. I needed it so bad. 

I will never forget what he put me through. He may not know how what he did affected me but he still left me tied up in his bed for hours in the dark. He's not going to get away with this. I want to strangle him. I want to curse him. Stab him. I want him to feel the torture that I felt on that bed for hours. 

I can't sleep in the dark. Not since I was younger. It reminds me too much of what I went through. The pain, the torture, my father, _him_. Everything. This potion is the only way I could withstand it. 

And he saw me like that. When I was in that state.

So, I've been avoiding him for a couple of days. Fuck the game, I can't be near him. The closer he is to me, the more vulnerable I feel. I can't let him get to me and I can't let him notice what he does to me. What he did to me that night... I wanted to touch him so badly. I wanted him to touch me.

_It's a game. It's all a game._

But then he ruined everything by leaving me alone for hours. My whole life's traumas flashed before my fucking eyes. And this fucking potion doesn't do shit. It's almost done and I just got a refill. I've been drinking it like crazy and I don't feel any different. I am disgusted with myself. Absolutely fucking disgusted. 

I'm a weak piece of shit. I shouldn't feel this way. Ever since I came to this fucking school, I've been hit with all my vulnerabilities. They're unavoidable. On top of that I have a bunch of stalkers who constantly devote their lives to finding stuff about me. Draco, fucking Daphne with her watching me and Snape, Adrian, Pansy.

I was wondering why they were laughing at me the other day. Then when a bunch of third years started whispering and staring at me, I got one of them to spit it out. Apparently, I'm sleeping with Snape. Great. Just fucking great. I almost killed Daphne but Pansy took full credit for her work. Told the whole school I was fucking him for grades. When I leave this school, the first thing I'm going to do is slit that bitches throat. 

I need to stay away from him. I need to stay away from everyone. Having these people around me makes me weak. I'm Asya fucking Karkaroff. I don't have friends, I have acquaintances. I don't play games, I take what I want and leave when it doesn't benefit me. I don't think emotionally, I think strategically. I have a month to get my shit together before I become a death eater. Death eaters don't have vulnerabilities, and neither can I.

So, I'm numbing my vulnerabilities away. With a little help of Willows weed. I was never much of a smoker. Only did it occasionally at parties. But I've grown a liking for it. It calms me down. Makes me feel free. It also makes me feel hungry, but I can manage my cravings. I always have. 

I've been coming to the Astronomy tower for the past few days to clear my mind rather than going to the Room of Requirement. I can't risk him coming there. Besides, I like the open space. I don't feel suffocated. I can just look at the stars and imagine. Imagine a world where I'm free from the chains that have imprisoned me since birth. 

I've always loved stars, my mother put them up on my ceiling because she knew I was scared of the dark. She would tell me to connect them with my imagination, and picture different animals. But I could never picture anything. It was always blank. I just stared blankly at them. Until one day, they were gone, and so was she. 

I was never allowed to have glow in the dark stars again. Never allowed to see the light again. Only the dark. After my father died and I transferred to Hogwarts, I put up the stars again. He didn't allow them in Durmstrang and in our home. Now they are scattered all across my dorm room ceiling.

I always thought I would grieve the death of my own blood. But when he died, I felt nothing. Nothing but relief. Little did I know, when he left me, he'd leave me with his burden. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"Bitch where have you been?" Willow throws an apple slice at me.

"Busy." I give her a short, curt reply. _She's just an acquaintance, nothing more._

"Okay?" She props her feet on the dining table. 

_Fucking disgusting._

I push them off of the table, taking a seat next to her. 

"What's wrong princess?" Theo asks me, resting his head on his hand.

"Nothing."

Silence emits the table. Theo and Willow look at each other in confusion. 

I finally finish up my dinner, leaving the mashed potatoes before I get pulled up from my seat and dragged into the hall, as I find myself looking up at a pair of grey eyes gleaming with rage. "Where the fuck have you been?" He furrows his brows at me, trying to observe my emotions through my neutral expression.

"Oh, fuck off," I push him aside to leave, but he pulls me back and pins me against the wall, holding my arms back. "Karkaroff, don't play with me. You've been avoiding me. I want to know why."

I look at him blandly "not everything is about you, get over yourself."

He moves in closer to me, lowering his voice. "Cut the fucking attitude. What the fuck happened a couple days ago? You looked like you were possessed."

"Maybe I was possessed." I reply sarcastically.

"I'm being serious."

"You worry too much. You'll get premature aging. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you cared."

"I don't give a fuck about you, but when you're lying in my bed like a dead person, the last thing I need is to be blamed for your death." He scoffs.

"Darling, what makes you think you're capable of killing me, yet alone being _blamed_ for killing me?"

"You're lying. Something happened. So, spit it out." His grip on my arms tightens, and he looks into my eyes like he's trying to read me.

"Nothing happened. You're just gullible."

He stares at me blankly, squinting his eyes slightly trying to figure out how he should react.

"Think about it. I told you to take me to my room, you carried me to my room. I told you to get me my wand, you got me my wand. I told you to leave, and you left. I got you to do what I wanted just by putting on a little show. And you fell for it." I lie. Hopefully by telling him it was all an act, he'll believe me. I can't let him think that he actually affected me. "You are weak. And you proved it. You felt bad for me, you felt guilt, you couldn't even wait an extra hour for the spell to break, you broke it yourself. You're pathetic."

In a blink of an eye, his gaze darkens. Just like that one day in detention when he almost choked me to death. It's like I unleashed his inner monster again. He grabs my arm, dragging me down the corridors before he pushes me into the broom closet. 

"I'm pathetic?" He chuckles, clenching his jaw. He grabs my face, and pushes my back on the wall. "I'm fucking pathetic?" He tilts his head to the side, taking in every detail of my face, as if he's trying to catch a glimpse of fear. He _wants_ me to fear him. "down."

"What?" I furrow my brows at him.

"Get on your fucking knees." 

"Go fuck yourself." 

He takes his hands off my face, moving them down to my neck; his cold rings pressing tightly around my neck "we already played that game. And then I left you tied up like the pathetic slut you are, and you broke down."

"I didn't break down. You just can't admit to yourself that you felt bad for me. You couldn't handle keeping me tied up in your room. Too soft." 

"Soft?" He glides his tongue inside his cheek. "Knees. Now."

"No."

He looks at me daringly, raising a brow at me before he pushes me forcefully on the ground, holding my shoulders down. "Unbuckle my belt." 

He's seriously not doing this right now. 

I look up at him in a questionable manner. He's bluffing.

"Now Karkaroff." He glowers at me.

I unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants while looking up at him. 

"The fuck are you waiting for? Suck my dick before I force it down your throat."

What. The. Fuck. 

I look up at him squinting my eyes trying to see anything. Any sign that he's bluffing. Any weakness. Nothing. He turned back into that monster from detention. 

I give in and take his large dick out of his briefs, he's already hard. I spit on my hand before stroking it a couple times. 

"Suck. It." He enunciates his words, letting me know how serious he is. 

_He's not bluffing._

I lean my head in towards his dick, opening my mouth to suck it before he pulls away.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I scowl at him.

He pulls up his pants, buckling back his belt and running his fingers through his hair "showing you how easily you just broke down for me." He grabs my face, as I'm still on my knees "look at you. On your knees in front of me ready for me to fuck your dirty little mouth. _You're_ _pathetic_." He repeats my words to me.

"From now on, I own you Karkaroff, remember that. I don't give a fuck about this game anymore. If you don't beg, I will make you beg. I won't wait around. You will tend to my needs whenever I tell you to. Because that is the treatment a filthy slut like you deserves." He lets go of my face forcefully pushing it away and spits on the ground in front of me before storming out of the room.

What. Just. Happened?

What the hell is wrong with me?

And why am I still on my knees? 

_Get off your knees Asya!_

This is exactly why I need to stay away from him. Why did I just let that happen? I'm capable enough to refuse. Capable enough to hurt him. But I didn't. 

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little character development for y'all. Is Asya going soft or is Draco just getting more toxic?
> 
> Follow me on TikTok for updates and spoilers: rorynotsogilmore


	20. REVENGE

****

**This chapter is very important for the character and plot development of the story. I've got some good stuff planned. Enjoy!!**

**[MATURE CONTENT--VIOLENCE/BLOOD]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"You will be duelling today; you are all expected to participate." Snape announces to the class. I've been waiting for this moment for days. We're in the Great Hall. Apparently, they duel on tables here. 

"Professor, I'm feeling a bit under the weather so I don't think I can duel." Ron lets out a fake cough.

"You can cough it up while duelling. No excuses Mr. Weasley."

"Professor?" I raise my hand.

"Yes, Miss. Karkaroff."

"What if I accidently slipped out the killing curse. Surely I wouldn't get punished for it, right?" I look at Pansy and she flicks me off.

"Now is not the time to be joking. This is a serious matter."

_Who said I was joking?_

Snape spends the next couple minutes demonstrating different techniques to prepare us for the duel. I'm more than ready. I'm rather curious to see how Hogwarts teaches their students to duel. 

I feel a hand grip the side of my hip, giving it a possessive squeeze as I hear a whisper in my ear "where do you want my wand when we duel. Pointing at you, or in you." 

I turn my head slightly to the side to see Draco hovering over me, "where do you want my foot. Pointing up your ass or in your throat." I smile. 

I would instantly kill him if we were to duel. Even the thought of it excites me.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood today. Wouldn't want to piss me off, now would you?"

"Oh, but I would. It boosts my mood for the day."

He squeezes my hip tighter, looking around to make sure no one is watching. "Of course, it does. You like it when I'm aggressive."

I pry his hand off of my hip, moving slightly away from him, ignoring his comment. I _do_ like it when he's aggressive.

"Not so tough now are you Karkoroff. Cat got your tongue?"

_Nope, just waiting for the perfect time..._

I face the front, speaking calmly "one more word and I will Sectumsempra your dick right off."

"Oh yeah?" He leans in closer, whispering in a low voice. "Then what will you have to suck?" He smirks at me.

I turn to look at him as we both glare at each other, trying to bring down the other with our eye contact. I tilt my head to the side, observing his whole body and giving him a menacing smile, "Theo?" I call out. "Baby?" Theo turns to me and I take my eyes off of Draco for a moment, focusing on Theo "come by my dorm later tonight, preferably after dinner" He raises his brows at my comment, his eyes looking taken back as he nods his head with a smug look on his face "whatever you say."

I look back at Draco "see, problem solved."

I notice him tapping his leg with his hand, clenching his other hand in a fist, "no."

"What?" I scowl at him.

"No. He's not going anywhere."

"Really? And why is that?" My arms cross infront of my chest. 

_He's fucking jealous that's why._

"Yeah mate, why is that?" Theo puts his hands on his hips.

"Because you and I are going out tonight." He says to Theo.

"Uhhh, no we're not." 

"Yes, we are." He glowers at him.

Theo stares at him for a brief moment, catching on to whats going on, "if you're jealous just say it, don't make up some bullshit excuse."

"I'm not jealous. Fine Nott, you can fuck off and go to her dorm. You're already familiar with the place, after all, you did hookup with her filthy Mudblood roommate." He turns away from him.

"Hey, I don't care how pissed off you are right now, respect Wills. And I _will_ go." 

Draco scoffs. "Be careful Karkaroff." He turns his attention back to me, squeezing my wrist "know your place, you're mine until I throw you away."

"How about _you_ know _your_ place. I'm not yours. And I'm not one of your used condoms? You can't just throw me away."

"I don't wear condoms." He smirks.

I hum in response, of course you don't.

"Okay, go on then. Whore yourself off. It's not like you don't already do that." He turns away from me and moves to the other side of the room.

He's been getting the last word a lot lately. That's not sitting well with me. 

"I'll get him some chocolate frogs later today; those are his favourite. That always seems to cheer him up." Theo whispers to me.

I nod my head as a response, as he continues "you're trying to make him jealous, aren't you?"

I look at him with a neutral expression, "no. And I don't need to _try_. He's a possessive psycho."

"You're a bitch for using me you know that?" He twirls his wand between his fingers, veins popping on the top of his hand with every movement, "but you're lucky I have a soft spot for you. So, I'll help you."

I turn my head to meet his gaze, "I won't touch you, unless you tell me otherwise." He says in a low voice before turning away. 

As the class went on, we watched Hermione knock Ron right on his arse. Neville froze in the middle of the duel. Pucey and Crabbe ended up getting into a fist fight; had Snape do a full-body binding spell on them. Overall, it's all a shit show. 

"Miss. Karkaroff." I turn my attention to Snape. "You're up next, with..." he scans the room. "Mr. Warrington."

I look at him from across the room, getting on the table and he gets on from the other end as we meet in the middle. He looks confident. 

_Not for long.  
_

"Wands at the ready." Snape announces.

We lift our wands in front of our faces in unison, before bringing them down and walking to opposite ends of the table. 

"Take your positions." We bow and stand in an accepted combative position. 

He counts down and at the count of three, _"Expelliarmus!"_ Warrington immediately casts a disarming spell, but I shield it _"Protego!"_ I cast the same disarming spell, and his wand flies out of his hand. 

_Idiot_.

I walk up towards him and cast _"Rictusempra!"_ causing him to fall back, laughing in hysterics. 

"Okay—okay—stop!" He laughs out, the rest of the class laughing at him. I let him suffer a little more before undoing the spell. 

"I'm going to use that against him for the rest of his life." Blaise whispers to me.

After a couple more people go, Draco and Harry get up to duel each other. He looks down at me, and loosens his ties a little. Then he takes his black robe and grey sweater off, throwing them at me, so he's left with his white collared shirt and tie. 

_Extra bitch._

"Scared Pottah?" He spits daringly.

"You wish." He scoffs, as they walk over to opposite ends of the table, and get into their positions.

I roll my eyes and doze off, day dreaming. This has got to be the most boring duel I've ever experienced. At Durmstrang, this stuff was more competitive. More vile. After a couple spells being thrown around and blocked, Harry casts a Furnunculus curse, and Draco casts a Densaugeo. They deflect off of each other, Harry's hitting Goyle and Draco's hitting Hermione.

"Holy shit mate, your face." Crabbe points as Goyle breaks out in boils. 

The class starts laughing. "Ummm, Mione, your—"

"My teeth!" Hermione interrupts Ron, screeching. 

"Looks good Mudblood" Draco looks down at her, amused. 

"That's enough. You can get down now." Snape waves his hand at them, signalling for them to get off the table. They didn't even disarm each other yet; the hell is this?

"I want to go again." I blurt out, looking at Snape with my head held high.

I need some action, duelling isn't meant to be amusing, and fun. It's self defense. 

The class goes silent and Snape turns his attention onto me, raising a brow with an intrigued look on his face "Again?"

"Yes, this one was too easy." I point my head towards Warrington.

"Too easy, she's lucky she's a girl." I hear Warrington scoff under his breath.

_Yes, because that changes everything._

He hums to himself "Very well" he looks round the room to pick someone but I cut him off "I want to duel with Malfoy." I look straight at Draco, and he lifts his gaze off of the ground, the corner of his lip turning upwards at my retort. 

Snape glances back and forth between the both of us in deep thought, before his expression softens in approval "go on then."

"Certainly, professor." Draco sneers, gripping his wand tighter while the both of us get back up on the table, making our way to the center.

We both look at each other intently. A strand of his platinum hair curls in front of his darkened grey eyes from the duel he had earlier with Harry. He's staring at me like I'm his prey, preparing to pounce on me at any second. 

Walking to opposite ends of the table, we bow, while maintaining eye contact with each other, before taking our positions. 

"On the count of three" we point our wands at each other

"One" We both plant our feet firmer onto the table, preparing ourselves for what's to come. I wonder what spell he's planning on using on me. Does he even have a plan?

"You're dead" he mouths at me.

I just smile at him. 

_We'll see...  
_

"Two." We both stare at each other challengingly, clenching our jaws.

"I bet you 10 galleons he's going to kill her." Blaise whispers to Theo. 

"I bet you 15 galleon's _she's_ going to kill _him_ " He whispers back

"Thre—" Before Snape can finish his count down, I yell out _"Expelliarmus!"_ Instantly, as if he expected me to use that spell, he smirks at me shouting out _"Protego!"_ Causing a transparent blue barrier to form around him.

He tilts his head to the side, daring me to do something. We both throw a _"Stupefy!"_ at each other. It deflects onto Parkinson, causing her to go unconscious. We both ignore it, throwing more spells at each other. 

_"Petrificus Totalus!"_ He yells, and I block the spell, causing the same blue barrier to now form around me.

 _"Flipendo!"_ my wand flashes light blue, and I notice him mutter a spell I can't hear. We both end up flying back off the table, our wands shooting out of our hands. The class backs up to make room for us to continue our duel.

I lift my head up from the ground, getting myself together before we both look at each other and back at out wands which are on the table. Instantly, we speed over to pick up our wands and continue the duel, but he gets to his before I get to mine. He casts a non-verbal jinx so I can't know what he's saying. 

_Smart move._

I see transparent ripples through the air as I roll out of the way, dodging it, picking up my wand. _"Levicorpus!"_ I yell out. A light flashes and his ankle is swooped up from the ground, leaving him dangling in the air. 

He looks at me with an aggressive vein popping from the side of his neck, as he's still upside down, casting a counter curse, _"Liberacorpus!"_ He instantly drops to the ground with a grunt. 

"Uh oh." I hear someone in the class blurt out. 

"She's dead." Someone else says. 

Draco looks up at me angrily. He has a menacing grin on his face before he lifts himself off from the ground whispering something. Suddenly, I'm swept off my feet, falling forward. 

_Bitch used a trip jinx on me._

He walks forward, looking down at me "give up yet?" He lifts a brow, looking satisfied with his performance.

"We're just getting started." I look up at him. _"Oppugno!"_ I send one of the gargoyles on the wall flying towards him. 

_I'll pay for the damage later._

Everyone gasps as it _just barely_ passes him, smashing on the ground as pieces fly everywhere, ending up cutting the both of us. I can feel a burning sensation from the exposed flesh on my face, legs and arms. 

He looks at the gargoyle in front of us and back up at me raising his brow while pursing his lips with an impressed expression growing on his face. _"Oppugno!"_ He sends the same jinx.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Someone yells out, everyone moving away to the back of the Great Hall. 

The Christmas tree crashes on the ground, creating a barrier between Draco and I as the ornaments fly everywhere, piercing through our skin. 

We both stand on either side of the tree, looking at each other mischievously. He grins evilly at me, and I return the same expression.

Now _this_ is what you call a duel.

 _"Diffindo!"_ A red light flashed from my wand, slashing his white shirt so that his chest is slightly exposed. It shines with sweat under the dimmed lights, and I notice blood trickling down his chest.

"Draco!" Pansy screeches. "Professor do something!"

_Great, she's conscious again._

I ignore her and so does Snape, it's like he wants to see how far we can go. 

_"Diffindo!"_ He sends out a pink light from his wand, gashing my skirt, so that there's slit on my thigh, almost exposing the hem of my panties. 

He bites the side of his cheek, as his eyes trail down my thigh, watching the blood slowly drip down my leg.

I'm not sure if we're doing this for the purpose of duelling anymore or if it's for the purpose of our _game_. I'm really tempted to rip off all of his clothes right here, right now.

I shoot him a trip jinx, causing him to fall forward, and drop his wand. As he gets back up to his knees, reaching for his wand, but I wave my hand before he can, unleashing a purple flash from my wand _"Locomotor Mortis!"_ His legs lock together as he remains on his knees. We look at each other with heated eyes, panting, sweating, bleeding, and with our clothes teared like we were just mauled by bears.

_We're not done yet._

He looks down at his wand and back up at me, immediately reading through my sniggering expression. He tries to reach for his wand but he can only move so much since his legs are binded together. With a flick of my wand, I send the Christmas tree sliding across the room so I can walk over to him, taking my time while doing so. It's not like he can go anywhere. 

I point my wand at him, getting closer and closer before I stop right in front of him, looking down at his face. His hair is ruffled and he has a cut at the end of his brow and on his cheekbone. I take the tip of my wand and lift his chin up to look at me. He clenches his jaw, clearly pissed off that he's in _this_ position in front of the whole class.

I lean in to his face, whispering so only him and I can hear "who's on their knees now?" He looks me up and down, smiling at me "any last words?" I continue. 

He looks at me mischievously before replying "you're dead."

I tilt my head to the side "you sure?" moving my wand away from under his chin, I point it at him. 

He grins at me evilly, clicking his tongue "do it, Karkaroff."

_Okay._

I lift my wand a little higher, as gasps erupt in the room, "Professor stop her!" Pansy calls out.

Draco's eyes look curiously at me as if he's wanting to see what I'll do to him. I look him dead in the eyes, _"Avada Kadavra."_

My hand drops to my side when I say _kadavra._

His grin grows wider, "should've killed me, Karkaroff." He sends a non-verbal trip jinx causing me to fall forward again and drop my wand. He picks up my wand and summons his own wand from across the room, casting _"Obscuro!"_ blindfolding my eyes so my sight goes pitch black.

Now _he_ points his wand under my chin, as I feel his heavy breath getting closer to mine "You're back where you belong, down on your knees in front of me." He whispers. _"Serpensortia"_

Suddenly I hear a hissing sound, as I feel something slithering up my leg and around my waist. 

"Malfoy that's enough!" I hear Theo yell. 

"Not yet." He says sternly.

I rip off the blindfold, and open my eyes to a black cobra wrapped around my neck, looking at me with hungry eyes as it hisses in my face. I observe the small yellow spots and zigzags unevenly spread on its skin. 

It's beautiful. 

I notice my reflection in its black, beady eyes. Holy shit I'm _really_ bleeding.

I look up at Draco and see him smirking down at me, trying to catch my reaction. I look back at the snake. The longer I look at it, the more I focus. I watch it intently, as it looks back at me. 

It winks.

It fucking winks.

I look around quickly without turning my head. Everyone is staring, I can feel the tension and anxiousness in the room.

"Assssya" I hear it hiss. What the fuck.

"Hurt him." It says to me, slithering its tongue out.

"Hurt him" I repeat.

I look back up to see Draco looking down at me with his brows furrowed, tilting his head to the side.

"Hurt him." It hisses at me again. "He's a threat."

"Hurt him. He's a threat" I repeat. 

I look back at the snake, whispering "go."

It bows down to me before slithering across the room towards Draco. Draco moves back a bit, looking alarmed before he points his wand at the snake and yells out abruptly _"Alarte Ascendare!"_ The snake flies up, its body waving in the air before it falls back down, right in front of him. It lifts it's head up slowly, twisting its head side to side before opening its mouth in a hissing motion, unveiling its sharp, venomous teeth and pouncing—

 _"Vipera Evanesca!"_ Snape yells out, and the snake burns up into ashes. 

In a blink of an eye, I get out of my trance. I lift myself off the ground, my body aching, as I turn to look at everyone. Silence emits the room. Everyone looks between Harry and I with their mouths agape. Snape's expression is neutral. I look back at Draco and he squints his eyes at me, trying to read me, before his expression goes cold again.

I wipe the blood dripping down my lip with the back of my hand staring at him before I break the silence "you owe me a new skirt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm exhausted so please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes.
> 
> What's going on with Asya? Comment your thoughts 👀


	21. BATTLE SCARS

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I'm currently laying in a fucking hospital bed right next to the drama queen Draco Malfoy. Pansy's spoon feeding him soup like he just came back from the dead. I mean technically in a way he _did_. 

Snape just _had_ to save the day.

"Okay Parkinson, that's enough." He pushes the spoon away.

"Just one more." She whines, moving the spoon back up to his mouth.

He pushes the spoon back away, "no. Now get out, I'm tired."

"But Dra—"

"Now."

She turns to me, hissing "stay away from him you psycho bitch," giving me a dirty glare before giving his cheek a light peck and leaving, taking her bland soup with her.

_Byeeee._

Madam Pomfrey walks up to us, "okay dears, nothing is broken, I just need to heal your cuts and you're good to go. Some will leave scars though, very little ones, so they shouldn't be too noticeable." 

She heals our wounds and gives us a couple vials of potions with electrolytes to help with our fatigue before sending us off. I ended up with a scar on my thigh from the cut he gave me. Draco ended up getting a scar on the end of his eyebrow and his chest; I really left a permanent mark on him. Now he'll have something to remember me for. 

I walk ahead of him, not looking back. I know he's gonna go full interrogation mode on me. I'm too tired to deal with him right now. 

"Karkaroff." I hear him call out my name but I keep walking. Suddenly he pulls on my arm and turns me to face him. "When I call your name, you answer me."

"Oh, for fucks sake will you just shut up. I'm exhausted, I want to sleep." I roll my eyes at him.

"I don't care." He tightens his hold on my arm. "What the fuck was that in the Great Hall?"

"A duel, and you lost." I pat his shoulder, turning away but he turns me to him again.

"No one won, Snape interfered. But we both know I would've won. And don't act innocent, you know what you did."

"What, the Avada Kadavra bullshit? You know I was actually considering it but I thought _nahhh, I'll save it for later."_

"I'm talking about the fucking snake!" He whisper yells at me.

"Yeah? the one that _you_ conjured on me? What about it?" I cross my arms over my chest. 

"What do you mean 'what about it'?" He mimics my voice "You know Parseltongue?"

"Okay? And?"

"So you admit it then? Because when Potter found out he acted completely oblivious to the whole situation."

"Obviously I would know whether or not I can speak Parseltongue. Is _this_ why you're wasting my time?"

The first time I found out I knew Parseltongue was when my father tied me up and conjured a bunch of venomous snakes on me. I was the one they were supposed to go for but they ended up attacking him instead. That was a good day.

"Drop the attitude. How the hell do _you_ know Parseltongue?"

"Because I'm special." I smile at him sarcastically, "it's okay Malfoy, everyone has a hidden talent, maybe you'll find yours one day." I push past him. 

"I didn't say you could leave!" he yells after me.

"I don't care!" I yell back.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's been a week since the duel. Plans with Theo got cancelled, due to obvious circumstances. Oh, and now everyone is afraid of me. Well, even more afraid of me then they already were. That's just the cherry on top. 

Draco and I haven't talked since the duel. Actually, I barely see him. Only once when I was walking out of the library. He saw me and we made eye contact for a brief moment before he walked away. He ignored me. 

_He_ ignored _me_.

Whatever, I can't keep up with him. One minute he's got his hands wrapped around my throat, the next, he's avoiding me. But he looked distressed. Like, sick almost. That's what you get when you become a death eater I guess. Does that make me nervous? 

No. 

I'm stronger than him, I can endure it. But it _does_ make me wonder what exactly he is ordered to do that makes him look like that.

"So, why didn't you stop my duel with Malfoy? I could've killed him, you know that." I ask Snape. He was watching the whole duel like it was a television series.

"But you wouldn't, I know _that_. It was a test. I wanted to see how well I trained you. Not well clearly. You need to learn to control yourself."

"I _can_ control myself."

"Not when you sent the snake to attack him. And you did it in Parseltongue. What part of _stay out of trouble_ do you not understand?"

"Okay, to be fair this was out of my control. When I'm spoken to in Parseltongue, I respond in Parseltongue. It's natural, that's why I'm speaking English with you rather than barking like a dog."

He furrows his brows at me "you could have killed him. _It_ could have killed him."

"But it didn't."

"Yes, thanks to me, again. And I don't even want to speak about your usage of the killing curse."

"Okay then don't."

"Watch yourself, I will not always be here to clean up after your mess. You got expelled, I dealt with it, you destroyed the Grand Hall, I dealt with it, you almost killed a student, I dealt with it. Actions come with consequences."

"Yes, and I'm always paying these consequences. I get it, I'm an idiot. Can I go now?"

"Asya." He gives me a stern look "I am serious. You have less than a month until you join the Dark Lord's side. Things will be even harder for you; you need to learn to control yourself."

"Okay." I respond. 

He looks at me, unconvinced, raising his brow "I said okay." I reassure him. I know what I'm doing, I just want him to stop nagging me about all of this.

I _can_ control myself, I just choose not to.

"I hope we won't need to have this conversation again."

"Me too." I mumble, making my way to the door.

"Asya." He calls out, making me stop at the door. I turn to face him. "Are you still using the potion I gave you?" He looks at me curiously. 

"Would I be standing here right now if I wasn't" 

"You must always take it, and at the proper dosage. No more no less."

"Yes, I know."

"Very well." He dismisses me. 

I've been taking the potion at higher dosages than ever before. Soon this won't even be enough. I've never had this problem before; I've been taking it practically my whole life. But now the effects are very short-lasting, so I have to take it more frequently. 

I walk back up to my dorm room with the intent of taking a nice hot shower before I bump into someone.

"Watch it!" I hear a deep voice spit out.

I look up and notice it's Draco. He looks a bit better today; less pale and his under eyes aren't as dark, still tired though. I notice the slit on the end of his brow from the scar I gave him. 

_He looks hotter._

Ew shut up.

When he notices it's me his angry gaze goes blank, "Karkaroff." He nods, walking away.

_Did he really just walk away from me?_

"Great, so you finally decided to acknowledge my presence." I speak up, causing him to stop in his tracks and turn around.

"I always acknowledge your presence." He gives me a boring reply, turning away again. 

_What the hell is wrong with him?_

_Why isn't he snapping at me?_

I grab him by his arm "The fuck is wrong with you?" He's avoiding me. Why is he avoiding me?

He rips his arm from out of my grip, pushing me to a wall his blank eyes burning with rage once again.

_That's more like it._

"If you know what's good for you, you won't grab me like that again. Stay the fuck away from me."

"What the hell is going on? You went from attention loving man whore, to emo boy Malfoy."

"Don't tell me you miss getting my attention." He sneers, a glint of amusement flashing in his eyes.

_I don't. I just don't like being ignored, especially when I'm so used to him bugging me._

"Don't tell me you're scared after what I did to you last week." I sneer back at him.

He looks at me with a focused expression for a moment. 

What is he looking at?

He rests his hand on the wall behind me, right above my head as he leans in closer, closing his eyes for a moment and inhaling my scent. "Why is it that your scent always throws off my focus?"

_Huh?_

I look up at him and he looks down at me, taking a strand of my hair as he twirls it around his fingers, examining my dark, shiny locks "I don't like my focus being thrown off. Thats been happening a lot lately. Do you know why?"

I just stare at him. I don't even know how to react right now. "Answer me." He lowers his voice, looking back into my eyes. 

"No." I give him a blunt reply. I know exactly why, but I want him to say it.

"Don't lie." He looks carefully at me, eye to eye, leaning in next to my ear, nuzzling his mouth against my hair "Because of _you_ Karkaroff. I can't think straight, there's this irking feeling you give me." 

_Oh, trust me, I know the feeling._

He moves his head away so that our noses are brushing against one another "If only you weren't so stubborn." Our faces are still touching, as we both look into each other's eyes. The longer I look, I notice that his grey eyes have flecks of blue in them. He also has a small scar on the corner of his top lip that looks much older, like he got it a while back. Then I snap back to reality, noticing him taking in every detail of my face too before I feel his warm minty breath hit my face softly as he whispers, "if you keep staring at me like that, I won't be able to contain myself any longer."

My gaze flickers between his eyes and his lips. 

_Fuck they looks soft._

"Then don't" I whisper back. He releases a deep exhale from his mouth, both of our mouths slightly agape, as both of our eyes flicker between our eyes and lips. 

"Karkaroff." He takes his hand and tucks in a loose curl behind my ear before cupping my jaw with his large hand, gently grazing his thumb over my lips, before lightly tugging on my bottom lip.

"I'm not going to beg." I mumble against his thumb.

"I don't care."

_He doesn't care, just do it._

No.

_Do. It._

No.

"Just do it already" Draco releases his hand from my face, as we both turn around and see Blaise and Daphne smirking at us.

"We know you both want to fuck, just get it over with already. But not in the fucking halls." Blaise rolls his eyes at us.

"Fuck off Zabini, I was just teaching Karkaroff a lesson, isn't that right?" He sniggers at me, hunching down to me, lowering his voice "Now fuck off."

_Is he fucking kidding me right now?_

"Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

"You, slut. Now leave."

I stare at his amused expression. I really want to slap that smug look off of his face. 

_Fucking bitch._

I grab a fistful of his shirt with one hand, pulling him closer to me "No one dismisses me except for _me_ , is that clear? Now, _you_ can fuck off." I push him away from me. 

He instantly grabs me by my arm, pulling me into him "I told you to never touch me like that again."

"Oi, that's enough mate, come on." Blaise calls out. 

I completely forgot him and Daphne were still here. 

We give each other our final death stares, before he releases my arm, pushing me away and turns to leave with them. 

_Bipolar idiot._

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"Holy shit this stuff is cold, my nipples are getting hard." Theo squirms as I brush a face mask on his face.

To make up for the night he couldn't come over since I was in the infirmary, he came over tonight. He wanted to have ' _a spa day with the girls._ ' 

"Just stay still." I hold his shoulders, while spreading the remaining amount of the face mask on his cheeks. 

"Fucking pussy." Willow scoffs. 

"Yeah, what about your pussy?" He curls the corner of his lip, an amused expression growing on his face.

"Nott I will cut off your balls and feed them to you." She snaps. 

"That had no business making me horny." He sighs.

Willow gave him a serious look, before walking over to him "okay maybe you shouldn't have come here."

"Okay okay, I'm joking... kind of." I finish applying the face mask and wave my hands in his face a few times to help with the drying process.

"Don't touch your face. When it's dry, I'll peel it off." I tell him, wiping the mask remaints from my hands on a cloth.

"Peel it off? It won't, like, peel off my skin or eye brows or anything right?" He raises a brow at me, crinkling the mask as it starts to set.

"Stop moving your face. And no, it won't."

"Fucking bastards." Willow mumbles, while looking at her notebook. It's the notebook she keeps track of all her customers and finances in.

"What?" Theo asks.

"Our profits have been dropping insane amounts, and I have a feeling it's the same guys as last time"

"Who?" He moves onto the bed, closer to her.

"I don't know their names. Last week one of my guys caught someone trying to sneak into our headquarters. After beating the shit out of him, the only thing he said was that all the thefts were ordered out from the same guy. They all work in one big fucking clan."

"Ouuuu, like some mafia type shit?" Theo grins excitedly, putting his face on his hand.

"Hey! I said no touching." I scowl at him, slapping his hand away.

"Sorry," he mumbles, focusing his attention back on Willow.

"I don't know. But my dad is fucking pissed. We just lost ten grand worth of product and customers in total this month."

"It's okay, you'll make it up eventually. You said it yourself, you run a billion-dollar corporation. Ten grand is nothing."

"Yeah, well if this shit keeps happening, we won't be a fucking billion-dollar corporation for longer. I worked my arse off growing this business with my dad, and I won't let some broke bastard bitch steal it from me."

"What's the currency?" I ask her.

"Huh?"

"The currency. US dollars, Pounds, galleons?"

"He stole from our location in London, so pounds."

"Mhmmm" I hum.

"Why?"

"No reason, I was just confused when you said ten grand. Ten grand what?"

"Ahhh."

"I can't move my face, is that normal?" Theo murmurs, his face almost frozen from the dried facemask.

"Yep, that means it's time to rip it off." I turn to him.

" _Rip_ it off?!" He scowls, but struggles to express his emotions through his immobile face.

"You rip it off, I'll hold him still." Willow nods to me.

"Hold me still?! Ladies I'm always open to being held down but I don't know if I want this ripped off of me."

"One." Willow counts, looking at me, while holding down Theo.

"Wills come on" He tries to convince Willow to let go of him.

"Two.

"No, I swear if you pull this off of me right now I will—"

I rip it off of his face, as Theo seethes out unintelligible curses. 

"Three" Willow finish's the count-down.

"All better, see" I give him a mirror. 

"I fucking hate you both." He looks into the mirror feeling his red face.

"No, you don't" Willow and I both say.

"Oh, fuck off," he throws a big body pillow at us.

"Hey! watch the hair, I just got these braids done. Throw it at her, she's the one who ripped it off." Willow pats down her hair.

"Yeah, and you held me down. How would you like it if I held you down?" He smirks.

"Shall we do another mask?" She looks at me, rubbing her chin.

"Mhmm, I think so." I agree with her.

"Okay okay, calm down. Women and their hormones."

Willow shoots him a warning look, causing him to put his hands up in surrender.

After hours of eating junk, smoking joints which I actually allowed in the dorm this time, and listening to Theo gossip like a little kid, he passes out on my bed and Willow on hers. 

_Great. Just great._

I walk out with a blanket wrapped around me, walking towards the common room. I'll just curl up on the couch. I like sleeping by the fire, the smell of the firewood burning relaxes me.

I move towards the couch when I notice a body laying there, and a bottle of emptied firewhisky on the ground next to the couch. Then I see bright blonde hair. _Malfoy_.

He got drunk and passed out, why am I not surprised. I move closer to him and observe his face as the fire illuminates it with an amber tint. Even in his sleep he looks like he has a stick up his arse. So fucking tense, like he's expecting someone to strangle him in his sleep any minute. I notice a bruise on his right cheekbone. That can't be from the duel, Madam Pomfrey already healed us. I take out my wand and point it to his cheekbone. 

_Don't do it Asya, just leave it._

Stop.

_He doesn't deserve you healing him. Leave it alone._

But he's hurt.

_So are you, no one heals you, so you shouldn't heal him._

No one heals me, so I shouldn't heal him.

_He deserves the pain._

I tuck my wand under my shirt. I hover my hand over his bruised cheekbone.

Maybe if I—

 _No_.

I pull my hand back. 

If he gets sick, _I'm_ going to be the one dealing with his dramatics. I grab the plush white blanket lying on the green arm chair next to the fireplace, slowly and gently placing it over him so he doesn't feel it, before turning away and leaving to go back to my room.

"He deserves the pain." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleaseeee I'm actually obsessed with the tension Draco and Asya have. Like I want them to rip each other's clothes off and get it over with. But then again, they're both stubborn idiots soooo... 
> 
> I hope ya'll enjoyed this wholesome chapter because things aren't gonna be so wholesome after this 👀


	22. NEW CHARACTER

_I've been waiting to introduce this character. He's going to be important for the plot, spice and character development in the story._

_**ZANE** **DELANEY**_


	23. TENSION

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**WOW.**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Today we have our transfiguration test. I'm more than ready. I have the highest grade in the class, and it's going to stay that way. About half an hour later I finish writing my test and get up to give it to Professor McGonagall before I bump into someone, the both of us dropping our tests. We both kneel down to pick them up. "Are you always this clumsy or just around me Karkaroff." I lift my head up to see Draco's ice-cold eyes piercing through mine.

"You sure you're not just walking into me on purpose?" I scowl at him, gathering my papers which are scattered and mixed with his. 

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He whispers. As I put together my papers in a neat stack, I go to pick up the last one, when the both of our hands touch, trying to pick it up at the same time. We look up at each other, and I pull the paper back from his hand, getting up and handing them in before leaving class. 

What the hell was that? My hand still feels tingly from touching his.

As I walk down the corridors, a hand suddenly covers my mouth and I'm pulled into an empty classroom.

"I think we both owe each other something." I hear a deep voice whisper from behind me, as I turn around to see _him_ again.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"Our little moment yesterday. You know when you stopped breathing and almost surrendered yourself to me."

"Oh, you mean when _you_ stopped breathing, claimed you couldn't contain yourself with me, and then called me a slut right after." I narrow my eyes at him.

"What can I say Karkaroff? I'm a man with needs. When a girl is looking at you like that, you claim your victory."

"Go claim your victory with someone else. Oh wait, no one else wants to deal with you, except for desperate Parkinson." 

"You know that's bullshit, every girl would go on their knees for me, even you." A smirk grows on his face "Oh wait, you have."

"You know, now that I think about it, I very much preferred it when you avoided me."

"But how can you stay away from this?" He waves his hands to show off his body.

"Easy. I leave." I smile at him and turn to leave.

"Astronomy Tower." He calls out from behind me, causing me to stop.

"What?"

"Tonight, at 8:00, meet me at the Astronomy Tower." I turn away from the door to face him. 

"No."

He walks towards me until we're inches apart, placing his hands behind his back and leaning down to whisper. "That wasn't an offer, it was an order."

"The fact that you still think you can order _me_ around, it's embarrassing really. I think we've passed that phase, don't you think?"

"Don't pretend you don't like it." 

Grabbing his tie, I pull him closer to my face "darling, I think _I_ should be the one ordering _you_ around. After all, all you do is follow me like a lost puppy." He takes my tie and pulls me into him, both of us holding each other's ties.

"You're the one who can't stay away from me. You don't think I know about your little visit to the common room last night. I could smell you in my sleep. Did you enjoy watching me?" I release my grip from his tie, and pull myself away from him, fixing my own tie.

"Actually, yes, it showed me how sad your life is. Drinking until you pass out drunk on the common room couch, all bruised up. Not so strong as you pretend to be huh?" I pout at him. 

"Mhmm, maybe if I bruise you all up, you won't be so different from me now would you?"

I squint my eyes at him "you're a pig." 

"And you're a slut."

"I hate you."

"I hate you too."

"Good."

"Good."

"I'm leaving now."

"No, I'm leaving before you." He shoves me out of the way, moving towards the door. 

_Competitive prick._

"Of course, you are." I scoff.

"And you're coming tonight!" He yells as he leaves the room.

"No, I'm not!" I yell back at him from the classroom. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I've been studying in the library for an hour wanting to scratch my eyes out. I'm taking Alchemy and I can't look at any more of these stupid symbols. I rest my head in my hands for a moment. I just need to relax, my brain hurts. 

And just like that I'm taken away from the only moment of relaxation I have as I hear the sound of a chair moving. I look up for a moment and notice that some idiot is taking the chair at my table. And without my permission.

"Leave it." I say bluntly. 

"Is anyone sitting here?" He raises his brow at me.

"No." 

"Then no." He continues to move the chair. 

_No?_

I lift my leg up and put it on the chair to stop him "Leave the chair." I say slowly and quietly, giving him a stern look.

He leans in closer to me "No." Pulling the chair away from me, causing my leg to drop.

If the bastard had fucking asked, I wouldn't mind. But because he thinks he's entitled to getting it, I won't let him have it.

I get up and take the chair out of his grasp, tucking it back into the table. "If I tell you to do something, you do it."

"You can't order me around, princess" He grins, amused. 

_Who the hell does he think he is?_

"Fine, you want your chair, you can have your chair." He gives up. 

_About time._

I sit back down in my seat, looking down at my notes before I hear a chair sound again. 

He slides it out from under the table, and takes a seat. 

"What are you doing?" I smile at him sweetly before I rip off his stupid head.

"I'm sitting." He smiles back.

"No shit, you're not sitting at this table." I wave my hand around the library to show him his options "you have the whole library, now leave."

"Can I tell you something?" He leans in close to my face from across the table. "You'd be really hot if you weren't such a bitch."

"Flattered. Now go." I roll my eyes. 

"Zane DeLaney." He introduces himself. "I can tell we'll see each other a lot more, so I'll leave today's meeting short." He gestures between our ties. He's a Slytherin, _great_. But why haven't I seen him around? I usually know everything and everyone in this school.

He takes out a vial of something and puts it on the table, right next to my arm "what's this?" I ask him.

"Chamomile essential oil. It helps reduce..." He looks me up and down "anger." 

_He's really fucking hilarious, I'm dying._

"It's mine but consider it a little gift from me to you" He tucks in the chair "Nice chat chair girl. Try not to kill someone." He walks away from me. 

_Annoying prick._

I'll have to find out more about him, he's not going to be getting off the hook.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I go back to my dorm and notice a red box laying on my bed, opening it up to see a pair of handcuffs, with a note under it. 

_**Don't forget about tonight. 8:00 sharp. If you're late like last time, there will be consequences.** _

_**Your owner.** _

_Okay._

I rip up the note and burn it with the Incendio charm, before throwing the box with the handcuffs in the trash. I'm not going. Last time I went, I froze up remembering my trauma. I'm not going to deal with this again. 

"Hey, how do I look." Willow comes out of the washroom and spins around. 

"Great, you've decided to finally change clothes."

"Shut up. I mean do I look good enough to eat?" I observe what she's wearing. A black, short sleeved floral button up shirt, but with the buttons un done, her classic white tank top and... nope... jeans. 

_I hate jeans._

"Why?" I try to sound as positive as possible without calling her out. 

"Just answer the question."

"Sure." I lie. 

"Cool cool." She fixes her hair a little, patting down her flyaways. 

"You never care about how you look. What changed now?"

"My dating status." She wiggles her eyebrows. "Lovegood and I are going out tonight."

"Luna Lovegood?"

"Yep." She fixes the collar of her shirt "also I'm guessing you saw the box since it's not on the bed anymore. The owl brought it to the window, I took a little peek inside and I don't know who sent those cuffs, but I might need to borrow them some day."

"Be my guest."

"Anyways, I'll probably be late tonight. Or I might not come at all if I get lucky. Don't miss me too much." She rushes out of the door.

_I won't miss you at all._

Honestly, I thought this whole roommate thing would annoy me, but considering the fact that she's either sleeping or not here majority of the time, it really doesn't. 

I take a shower, and dry up before slipping into a pair of pink laced panties and a black silk night gown overtop. Lifting my mattress, I take out the vial, taking a couple drops of the potion in my mouth, before placing it back in the box and under my bed when my eye catches another box. It's the vibrator Draco sent me a while back. I haven't used it. Maybe I could just—

No. I don't want to use anything that's from him. Especially down _there_.

But then again, it's just a vibrator. It's not like he'll know I used it. And Willow's gone tonight too. 

And I _am_ really stressed. Maybe I just need to release the tension with something. 

_Fuck it._

I take out the box, and open it, revealing the pink vibrator. I place the box on my desk, close the lights, and lie in my bed. Pulling my night gown up to my stomach, I feel myself up first, touching my breasts and rubbing my nipples under the silk, caressing myself down my stomach all the way to my inner thighs. I start to rub myself over my underwear, felling myself getting wetter. I take the vibrator and turn it on to the lowest setting, grazing in my inner thighs, moving it slowly over my pussy, before moving my panties to the side, rubbing it slowly against my wetness. I increase the speed and glide it against my clit before deepening the strokes. 

_Fuck this feels good._

But it's not enough. I increase the speed more; the vibrator now at its highest setting.

I feel euphoric. My body feels like its floating, as I feel all of my stress slowly unravel. I rub it against my clit more vigorously, moving it in and out of me a couple times, feeling myself pulsating.

_Faster, just a little more. I need something more._

Grey eyes.

His grey eyes. 

Soft pink lips. 

Smooth fair skin.

Mint.

Sandalwood.

_Fuck, come on._

Rings. 

His fucking rings.

_"if you keep staring at me like that, I won't be able to contain myself any longer."  
_

More more more.

His veiny hands when he holds his drink.

His cold fingertips smoothing over my skin.

I feel my breath shuddering, and my pussy throbbing, as my pulse quickens. 

_"you're mine"_

_YESYESYES_

_"you're mine Karkaroff."_

"Yes! Fuckkkkk—" I slap my hand on my mouth to muffle my sounds. 

I feel the fluttery sensation of pleasure rumbling through my core, arching my back as I feel myself about to reach my peak. 

Just a couple more strokes—

"Enjoying yourself Karkaroff?" 

NO...

NONONO

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

I immediately pull the vibrator away and pull down my night gown, opening my eyes to see no other than Draco fucking Malfoy standing above me with a satisfied and mischievous smirk plastered onto his stupid face.

I want to hide in a hole right now.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?! GET OUT!" I yell at him, getting up on my feet. I don't think I've ever yelled at him before but he just robbed me of my pleasure, _again,_ and invaded of my privacy.

He continues to look at me with that devilish smirk on his face "Well, you decided to disobey me _again_ , so I showed up to your dorm only to be surprised with this _pleasant_ image." He scans my body up and down, noticing my perky nipples peaking from beneath the cold silk fabric of my night gown. "I'm beyond flattered to know that you're flustered, wet, and masturbating to the thought of me."

_I will now be passing away._

"I was not. Get out of here right now before I—"

"Before you what?" he moves close to me "Before you get off to me again, _'yes! fuckkk_ " He mimics my moans. 

_He heard my moans too?!_

"I'm glad my gift came to good use."

"Leave."

"No." He steps in closer, grabbing me by my waist with one hand, while lifting his other hand to my face, trailing his cold fingers down my heated cheeks, pulling down my bottom lip, moving to my jawline before trailing down the side of my neck, and my cleavage. "How is it that you can scream and cry for a small toy, but you refuse to do it for me, mmh?" He lifts my chin up to look at him. 

"You're a cockblock you know that?"

"No worries, I'm here to help." He grins, taking his hand and sliding it up my leg, moving up so that his hand scrunches the hem of my night gown.

_NO ASYA!_

"I don't need your help."

"No?" He puts his cold hand under my night gown, giving me instant goosebumps, his hand travels up my back, caressing it, moving forward towards my stomach.

"No." I try to keep my voice calm. I won't let him affect me.

"No?" He repeats again, tilting his head to the side while moving his hand up higher under my night gown, moving up to my breast before he squeezes it in his hand, giving my hard nipple a squeeze between his fingers. He leans his head towards my ear, while continuing caress my breast with his hand. "That toy is child's play compared to what I can do. It took you ten minutes to get stimulated by it. I don't even have to touch you to turn you on." 

He grazes his tongue behind my ear "give up already. Let me make you feel good. Let me fuck you like you've never been fucked before." 

He kisses my ear, moving down my neck "touch you like you've never been touched before." He pecks lower and lower, before moving to my jawline "pleasure you like you've never been pleasured before." He kisses up my jawline, to my cheek "I want you tonight. All of you." He pecks the corner of my mouth "just say it; be mine" He whispers breathily. 

I close my eyes, concentrating on my breath. I don't need him. I don't want him. I can't need him. I can't want him. "I don't need you to pleasure myself." I open my eyes to meet with his "I can manage on my own."

He moves away from my face, observing me to see if I'll break. I hold my gaze, maintaining a neutral facial expression. 

I want him to touch me. To _fuck_ me. I do. So _so_ much. But I won't beg. I won't give him control. I can't. I need my control. Without it I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I'm weak. I can't give in. I won't give in.

He backs up, giving me some space as he signals his hand to the bed, where the vibrator is laying. "Okay, by all means go ahead. Continue." He says looks at me dead in the eye, daringly. 

"What?" My voice is quiet, I can't even speak up. 

_Why can't I speak up?!_

"Get on the bed, and fuck yourself." 

I stare at him trying to see if he's actually being serious. I can't even tell when he's teasing and when he's actually being serious anymore.

"Karkaroff, get on the bed now before I throw you on it myself." He walks up closer to me, leaning down to my face, forcing me to look up at his eyes, now darkened and hungry for vengeance "you want to pleasure yourself, so fucking do it." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Now." He glowers at me. 

I slide my panties off, lifting them with between my finger and thumb before dropping it on the ground, backing up, and taking a seat on my bed as I lay back against my headboard, staring at him. He takes a seat on the green armchair from across my bed, resting his arms on the sides of it, while propping his legs open in a relaxed state. 

I open my legs, maintaining eye contact with I'm, as I reach my hand lower, touching myself slowly, letting him take in every single movement. Every single detail. Everything.

I massage my clit with two fingers, rubbing in slow and circular motions, before picking up my pace. He looks down at the movements of my fingers, as I stroke myself before inserting two fingers in me. I notice his Adam's apple bob as he swallows, focusing on every movement. I let out a soft moan, to which he immediately brings his attention back to my face, wanting to watch my every reaction as I pleasure myself. 

I take my other hand and grab the vibrator next to me, starting with the lowest setting, bringing it to my clit. The vibrations warm up my body, as we both look at each other with hunger, and desire. 

I don't want this thing inside me. I want _him_ inside me.

I adjust the speed to the highest setting, causing the buzzing sound to get louder, and my breath starts to tremble. I feel a wave of pleasure crash through my body causing me to let out another moan, while I tilt my head back and roll my eyes, shutting them. "Look at me Karkaroff." I hear his voice, commanding me. "I want you to look at me when you're touching yourself."

I open my eyes, just his presence right now is enough to turn me on. The way he's sitting with his legs open, as his hands clenched by his sides. He's trying so hard to hold himself back. 

_Don't hold back._

I hate him, I do, but months of built-up tension, I need it gone. But I won't beg.

"Fuck" he muffles quietly under his breath.

"Touch yourself." I pant out, as I notice him adjusting himself in his seat. 

He gulps, looking down between my legs and back up at me "touch—yourself" I repeat, my breath shuddering. He lowers his hand down to his belt, unbuckling it and unzipping his trousers, before pulling out his already hard dick. I can see it wet with pre-cum under the dimmed moonlight. He starts to stoke his dick between his hand, twisting up and down in slow, circular motions. 

I put the tip of the vibrator in me, circling it inside, as I use my other hand to rub my clit. We are practically drowning in each other's eyes, looking at one another with a needy gaze. He groans, tilting his head back in pleasure while stroking himself faster, as I rub my clit and move the vibrator in and out of me faster. 

"Oh—my—ughhh" I moan, my mouth agape as I try so hard to maintain eye contact with him.

"Fuck Karkaroff." He lets out a muffly moan, our breaths hitching at different paces, refusing to unite in harmony, just like him and I.

"I—hate—you" I moan out, with each thrust of the vibrator.

"I—hate—you—more—fuck" He moans.

This is all I want. 

_Him_.

**Draco's POV**

_Her._

**Asya's POV**

_To look at me_

**Draco's POV**

_To moan my name._

**Asya's POV**

_To want me_

**Draco's POV**

_To desire me_

**Asya's POV**

"Fuckkkkk!" We both moan out, looking at each other like we never have before. Completely and utterly consumed by passion, lust, hatred, and desire. We fucking _crave_ each other. This war won't end until one of us is defeated. 

And it won't be me.

I take the vibrator out of me, turning it off and move my other hand off of my clit. Draco gets up from his seat, pulling his pants back up, zipping his zipper and buckling his belt before walking towards me. He leans down, putting both hands on each side of me, on the bed. He takes a hold of my hand and brings it to his mouth, leaning down more gliding his tongue over my two fingers that were inside me, before putting them in his mouth, sucking them clean. He watches me as I watch his mouth carefully, as he takes them out of his mouth slowly, and seductively, tilting his head to the side, observing my every reaction.

He takes his hand and cups my jaw, making me look up even more, "I could've made you come faster." He whispers, releasing my jaw and leaving my room without even looking back.

No matter what we do, no matter how much we avoid each other, or hurt the other, we both want one thing. For the other to surrender. 

He is going to _ruin_ me one day... 

Not if I ruin him first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellll, how's everyone feeling after that? These next couple chapters are gonna be... chaotic.
> 
> That thing between Asya and Draco was completely consensual. Remember, they're both stubborn, no one can make them do things they don't want to do. There was a little voyeurism in there so if that's not for you, obliviate yourself. 
> 
> I introduced a new character, Zane DeLaney, played by Charles Melton. Thoughts?


	24. YOU

****

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

Seeing her like that last night. Hearing her like that. It only made me want her more. It was music to my fucking ears. Because she moaned for _me_. Looking at me. After all that happened yesterday, there is one thing that really stood out to me. That she listened. She _actually_ listened to me. She did everything I told her to do. And she didn't even realize it. Or maybe she did. Maybe she did it all because it was the closest she could get to curbing her craving for me without having to surrender herself to me. Without having to agree to being mine. 

She's falling apart, I just need to make sure that _I_ don't in the process. 

"Ayyyyy! The king has arrived!" Blaise yells out, getting up from his seat, Theo doing the same. 

"Miss me?" I look over to see Zane DeLaney, as Theo and Blaise tackle him.

Zane fucking Delaney. He used to go to Hogwarts he transferred to Ilvermony. Now he's back. I used to be good friends with him but we became distant since he left. Him and I were especially close because of our families. Both his parents were death eater's before their bodies were found in the Black Lake a few years back. That's when he disappeared.

"Malfoy, you haven't changed a bit." He walks towards me and pats my shoulder.

"DeLaney, been a while." I nod at him.

"Well, I'm back so we're all catching up tonight. My dorm, boys night." He takes a seat across from me. 

"Bet, drinks are on me." Blaise sits back down in his seat.

"And the foods on me." Theo also takes a seat.

"Zabini, I ran into Daph earlier, you finally got her ey? Thatta boy." He shakes Blaise from his shoulders.

I mute myself from their conversation. Too focused on everything going on. The Dark Lord will be assigning me a new task soon. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about it. I first killed someone when I was 16, two weeks after I had gotten the dark mark to prove my loyalty and strength to the Dark Lord. I still remember the fear reflecting off of her teary eyes. She was a Mudblood old woman who owned a bake shop. She had no family. No fortune other than her bakery. Nothing. No one to mourn her, no one to care for her, and no one to care for. I thought that would ease my guilt. But it didn't. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't focus for months. Then I got asked to kill a second person. Then a third. A fourth. Fifth, sixth; I have enough names to write a fucking book. After the tenth kill I learned to turn it all off. The guilt, the pain, the stress. I could kill anyone in the blink of an eye. I've even thought about killing Karkaroff. Slit her delicate little throat. 

And speak of the devil, Karkaroff just walked in. She doesn't look at me, she doesn't look at anyone. Always keeps her head held high, walking like she owns the place. With her perfect hair, and perfect posture. Too perfect to be true. With the things I've found out about her so far; the burden she carries on her back— _perfect_ , yeah, she's far from it.

"Hey! Chair girl!" DeLaney calls out, causing Karkaroff to stop and close her eyes for a moment. She looks... irritated. She turns around narrowing her eyes at him, giving him her 'sweet' but deadly smile "Hey! Chamomile boy."

_How do they know each other?_

"Still haven't used it I see, that oil is supposed to help calm your nerves." She ignores his comment and flicks him off, taking a seat across from him.

"You two know each other?" Theo asks them.

"We had a pleasant meeting in the library yesterday." He smirks at her.

_Yesterday?_

_What meeting?_

"Ouuu, I see I see," Blaise nudges his shoulder, quirking his brow.

Come on say something. 

Snap back like you always do. 

Something.

Say nothing happened. 

Explain yourself. 

_Why isn't she saying anything?!_

A couple minutes into class and he's leaning in from behind, whispering in her ear. What the hell is he doing? I look at her expression, and she maintains her usual straight face. But she does that with me too, and I definitely don't have _'normal'_ conversations with her. Then a while later I hear her laugh. _She's_ laughing. Why the fuck is she laughing?! She _rarely_ ever laughs.

How can she let him do that in front of me? I already warned her, told her she's mine. Only mine, until I say otherwise. 

Of course, what else would I expect from a fucking slut. 

_Remember your goal Draco._

I don't care. I want one thing and one thing only. That's it. Nothing more.

**Asya's POV**

Class is finally dismissed. Most boring lesson of my entire life. Before I get up from my seat to leave, DeLaney leans in to whisper "see you later chair girl," as he passes by me.

He _actually_ had a conversation with me in class; joked about my apparent ' _obsession'_ with chairs a couple times. I don't like him, there's something about him I just don't trust. After having a bad encounter with me, you either fear me or you do everything to destroy me. He doesn't fear me nor is trying to get revenge on me. So why is he being so nice to me? This isn't normal. 

I noticed something very, _very_ interesting in class today. Draco's gaze on us, the whole. Entire. Time. I added in a couple laughs here and there, made sure he _really_ noticed how much I ' _enjoyed'_ DeLaney's company. 

Snape owled me earlier this morning, so I'm going to his classroom. Apparently, he has something to discuss with me. Probably something about my training or the Dark Lord. "Hey, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, have a seat for a moment." He gestures to the seat in front of his desk.

"Okay." I take a seat. He looks... distressed? "What's wrong with you?" A moment of silence passes by before he looks me straight in the eyes with a neutral expression, "He's looking for you." 

What?

"Who?" I furrow my brows.

"Him _._ "

 _Him_.

I freeze, trying to control my breaths. "He's been leaving bodies everywhere he goes. He's not going to give up until he finds you."

 _Shit_.

"Has he contacted you at all?"

Yes.

"No."

"Asya," he gets up, placing a hand on my shoulder "if he has you have to tell me. This is dangerous."

"I know."

"I've reconsidered what you said to me about the potion. I think I'll give you a higher dosage. One drop will be worth five, so be careful with this one. It'll be ready in a couple days."

A couple days?! A lot can happen in a couple days. I need it now.

"Do _not_ let it get in the wrong hands. Hide it, and if you ever receive anything and feel suspicious that it's from _him_ , come to me immediately. Am I clear?" 

"Yes."

He dismisses me and I walk out of his class. I had a feeling he was looking for me. The letter, the voices in my head. Everything. 

I can't have him find me. I can't. I'm screwed if he does. All my fears, all my vulnerabilities, everything will start to unravel. He _will_ ruin me. I need to leave. I this damn potion, now. I need to stay away from everyone and be _extra_ cautious.

But the letters. He must've found me already, right? How else could I be getting letters? Then what is he waiting for? Fuck, I need to come up with a plan, something, and fast.

"Karkaroff!" I hear a high pitch squeal. Parkinson's high-pitched squeal. Turning around, I see her with her arms crossing over her chest, leaning against a wall. I roll my eyes and walk away. I can't deal with her right now.

"Hey!" She takes a hold of my arm spinning me to face her. 

"Get your hand off of me right now before I break it." I give her a stern expression. She still has her fucking hand on my arm. I look down at it, looking back up at her. 

"Okay, so let me get this right, you got Snape, you got Montague, you got DeLaney, and now you're trying Draco?" 

"What the hell are you blabbering on about now?"

"He was supposed to be with me all night yesterday in the Astronomy tower. He waited and waited and waited for _someone_. Didn't let me touch him until that _someone_ arrived. After thirty minutes of silent fucking waiting, that _someone_ didn't arrive, so he left me." She lowers her voice "Where does he leave? To _your_ fucking room."

Oh, this is _good_.

"Okay? Get to the point."

"Be careful Karkaroff. Don't think he cares for you because he doesn't. He won't."

_Mhmm, says you._

"Parkinson, I don't a give a flying fuck whether he cares or not. And neither should you. He's using your arse. Drop him before you embarrass yourself any further."

She smiles, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "You'd like that wouldn't you, so you can have him all to yourself?"

I start laughing at her. She's so stupid I might start crying. "Are you really _that_ stupid? I don't want him. Take him, see if I care. But you _cannot_ hold me accountable for his actions. If he _chose_ to come to my room last night, that's on _him_. You shouldn't be going crazy on me; you should be going crazy on him." I take her hand off of my arm, holding her wrist tightly in my hand "And if you ever touch me or talk to me like that again, I won't be this understanding." I drop her arm and walk away.

Everyone at this fucking school is insane. 

I actually felt bad for her. I don't feel bad for anyone. But I do for her. Because she thinks that she'll have him. But she never did in the first place. She's blinded by this illusion of _love_. He's using her, and she's just stupid. But I have to say, Draco's efforts to grab my attention are admirable. He _really_ told me to meet him in the Astronomy Tower, just so I could walk in and see him and Parkinson snogging it up in the corner. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I could barely sleep last night. I don't have nightmares anymore, not since that one time, but my insomnia is back. I need that potion soon. 

I walk through the corridors making my way towards the Great Hall, before I get bumped into by Pansy. She rushes past me with tears in her eyes. 

_Awww._

I'm about to enter the Great Hall when—

Holy. Shit. You're joking.

Lavender fucking Brown.

On her knees.

In front of Draco.

"Take it whore." He grabs all of her hair, pushing her head down further.

This is pathetic. _He's_ pathetic.

He looks up and makes eye contact with me, a mischievous look growing on his face. 

_Leave Asya._

I can't take my eyes away from his. He's challenging me. He wants me to look. He wants me to react. He wants something. 

She finishes him off, moving her head away. He takes his thumb and cleans the corners of her mouth before pushing her away, causing her to fall form her knees onto the ground. "Now fuck off."

"But—"

"I said leave." 

She looks up at him teary eyed, looking around her surroundings to notice a crowd of people watching her, before she runs off. 

"What are you lot looking at? Fuck off, yeah?" He yells out, causing everyone to turn away and leave, me included. He's so fucking dramatic. And for what? He could've done that elsewhere, but he just _loves_ an audience. A Gryffindor, and Lavender Brown at that, how desperate is he? Maybe Pansy is just not satisfying him enough. I'll remind him of this moment the next time he decides to call me a whore or a slut. But watching them made me feel, _different_. I felt my heart beating faster; there was a clenching sensation, like it was going to burst out of my chest. It's just his presence. He's so aggravating. But I don't care. The more places he sticks his dick in, the less I want him _in_ me. 

"Well look who it is," DeLaney gets up from his seat to greet me "chair girl." He nods his head, signalling for me to sit, sitting back down after I take a seat across from him. 

"You can stop calling me that." 

"Give me a name and I'll call you by that instead." He says, popping a grape in his mouth.

"Asya. Asya Karkaroff." 

"Asya Karkaroff..." He plays with a ring on his finger, looking in deep thought like he's trying to memorise my name. "Your father was a deatheater, yeah?"

"Yell it out why don't you." I scowl at him. 

"Oh, come on, it's not secret. I've seen you in the papers a couple times. Your annual balls, the Triwizard tournament, and don't think I don't notice the way everyone flinches in your presence. Well, _almost_ everyone. Slytherins are rather, _comfortable_ , with you."

"Amazing, glad I can comfort them." I retort sarcastically.

"You always like this?" He raises a brow at me with a questioning expression.

"Like what?"

"Like this" He gestures at me "snappy, the classic 'I don't care about anything, I hate everyone' attitude."

Because I _really don't_ care about anything and I _really do_ hate everyone.

"Shut up."

"I'm serious, lighten up a bit." He leans back in his chair, brushing his fingers through his dark brown waves. "You're young, live life, have fun, you act like you've been on this Earth for thousands of years, and have experienced every bad thing there is known to man."

_Actually..._

"Thank you for your wise words, I will now lighten up because you told me to." I scoff.

"Loving the sarcasm, it's better than your moodiness." 

"Okay enough about me, who are you? I know everyone at this school, why have I never heard of you?"

"Because I just transferred. I used to go to this school from first year to third year before I transferred to Ilvermony. But I'm back."

_Why did he transfer back?_

"So, I'm guessing you know Theo, Blaise and Malfoy pretty well."

"Yeah, they were my best mates before I transferred, we grew a little distant but after a few drinks last night, we've managed to catch up."

"Mhmm" I hum, drinking my water.

So, he knew third year Draco. Was Draco closed off in his third year as well? Maybe DeLaney might know a thing or two about him that might come of great use to me.

"Why do you call him that?" He asks me. 

"What?" I place my water on the table, brining my attention back up to him.

"Malfoy, why do you call him Malfoy? You've referred to everyone else with their first names but to him with his last."

"I don't know, I just don't like calling him by his first name. It feels foreign to speak of it."

"That's the most dramatic yet confusing response I've ever heard. It's just a name." 

If I say it, I feel like it'll change things. I'm not sure. Saying Blaise's, or Theo's name, means nothing. But if I call him _Draco_ , it's just... weird. I can't do it.

"I just say his last name alright? No big deal. I refer to _you_ with _your_ last name."

"Oh, so you've talked about me?" He quirks up a brow. 

In my inner monologue, yes.

"No, I'm just saying, I _would_ refer to you with your last name."

"Don't." He props his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands. 

"Huh?"

"Don't refer to me by my last name, call me Zane."

"What if I don't want to call you Zane?"

"Well, lemme see, I don't want you to call me DeLaney, you refuse to call me Zane, what other options do we have left?" He rubs his chin.

"DeLaney" I hear a voice call out from behind me, before I feel a hand tightly grip my shoulder, rings pressing roughly against the blade of it. 

"Hey mate, have a seat." He gestures beside me. 

I see a blonde figure sit next to me. 

_Oh, fuck off._

I wish I could obliviate myself. Obliviate him. Last night was a disaster. I don't usually feel embarrassment, because I've never done anything to embarrass myself. I always calculate each step carefully before I take it. But with him, I lose my control. He heard me moaning. Heard me at my most vulnerable state. Letting myself go, to a fucking vibrator and the image of him, before he interrupted me. But having him there, staring at me with such focus, such desire; it made feel special. Like I was the only woman in the world. Because the look he gave me was a look I had never seen anyone give me before. A look I had never seen _him_ give anyone before. And I blame that all on the fact that I'm not giving into his games like others would. Or maybe I am and I'm just not realizing it. It doesn't even feel like a game anymore. It's reality. Seeing him like that last night. Hearing him like that. It only made me want him more.

"Move over a bit Karkaroff, unless you want to sit on my lap." He smirks, patting his lap.

"Mhmm, actually I was just about to leave." I get up before being pulled back down, the side of my thigh almost on his leg.

"Sit." He holds me in place my placing a hand on my thigh, pressing down on it.

DeLaney looks between the both of us "Are you guys dating or somethin—"

"No." Draco and I both answer in unison, turning to looking at each other before looking back at DeLaney.

"Then you're just friends with benefits?"

"No." We reply in unison again.

"Okay wow" He raises his hands up. 

"There's nothing between us, he's just a little _obsessed_ with me." I try to pry off his hand from my thigh but only grips tighter.

"Mhhh, no actually, _she's_ obsessed with _me_."

"Yeah, well I'm not the one PDA'ing for everyone to see just to get a reaction." I say, not turning my head to him.

"I'm not the one who whoring myself off to every guy I see just to get _my_ reaction."

"I'm not the one who just had their dick sucked and is now acting like _I_ did something wrong."

"And I'm not the one who came for me right before fucking around with someone else."

"Okayyyy, I think I'm gonna go now. I'll see you two later." DeLaney gets up abruptly; an overwhelmed expression on his face. "Malfoy, Asya" he nods, leaving.

"You're a pain in the arse you know that?" I turn to him, meeting his furious gaze, as he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek. 

"Why did he call you by your name?"

"What?"

"Your name. Why did he call you by your first fucking name?"

"Maybe because that _is_ my name." 

"Oh, so you fuck him in the library and now you're all of a sudden referring to each other by your names."

Fuck him in the library? He thinks we hooked up?

"So, what if he fucked me? Don't tell me your jealous that he could get with me after being here for less than a day, but you couldn't after months." He takes my water and tips it back, drinking it like a shot.

Moving in closer to me, he tightens his grip on my thigh, "I'm not jealous. And I could take you anywhere, anytime. I could take you right here, right now in front of everyone. Bend you over the table and take what's mine." 

I was completely fine with everything he said, up until his last three words.

"Yeah, good luck with that. I'm not yours, and I never will be. And you can take your hand off of me now. Don't worry, he wasn't going to steal me away from my _owner_."

His furious gaze softens to an amused look; his hand still on my thigh "ahhh, finally admitting I own you I see. And who said I'm worried? I don't give a fuck about you or what you do with your cunt. But as long as this game is going on, you stay away from him."

"Yes, I stay away from everyone while you get your dick sucked in the middle of the school fucking corridor."

"Awww, is someone upset?" He pouts at me. 

"I don't care what you do with your dick. But it will never do me."

"Are you sure?" He looks at me intently, tilting his head to the side.

"Positive."

"We'll see."

"No, we won't"

"As long as you remember how you came while looking straight at me, I am _positive_ you will give in." Yes, because he was sitting around innocently doing nothing last night.

"Keep dreaming." I respond in a sing-song voice.

He gets up, leaning over me with his hands on the table "no, _you_ keep dreaming," before leaving. 

I thought I would be bored of him. Of _this_. It's been months, but this thing between us is the only thing keeping me entertained. I know he's jealous of DeLaney, maybe I'll give him something to be jealous about.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I'm currently sitting in the common room playing therapist for Blaise. Idiot was too embarrassed to talk about this with anyone else.

"Okay so what you're saying is that she told you she loved you?" I ask him. 

"Yep." He props his head on his hand. 

"And what did you say?" He looks away from me, biting the inside of his cheek.

"You didn't respond, did you?" I laugh, "of course, boys. The usual ' _I can't say I love you back otherwise it'll tarnish my masculinity'."_

"It's not like that. It's just—I don't know what happened I just froze."

"Well do you love her then?"

"Yes, I fucking love her, more than anything. I've loved her for the past three years. It's just, I have my doubts. Like I feel like if she hears those words from me, she might leave me, or get tired of me, or something. Or what if I'm not good enough for her? And she gets caught up in the idea that I love her to the point where it consumes her and she—"

"Okay now you're rambling. If you love her, tell her straight up. As a girl, I can tell you right now, she's probably thinking about a hundred different reasons why you don't love her back. You need to be upfront. Just tell her how you feel, and tell her why you were hesitant to respond. If she loves you, she'll let it go. As long as it means getting to hear the person she loves say those three words back to her."

He turns to me, with a slight look of astonishment on his face, "holy shit, that was probably the most sincere, heartfelt thing I've ever heard you say. Who are you and what have you done with Asya Karkaroff?"

"I'll be your worst nightmare if you don't get your arse up right now and tell her how you feel. The longer you sit and mope around, the less time you have to spend with her. Now go." I push him off the couch.

"Okay, okay." He gets up and leaves the common room.

Holy shit, that _was_ the most sincere, heartfelt thing I've ever said. 

Yep, I definitely can't wait to take that potion.

He's actually an idiot. 

_Love_.

Love is fucking pathetic, is what it is. 

Perhaps it's because I've never felt it. I've never loved, never been loved. Yes, I've cared for people, only few in my life, but never felt love. 

Love is a weakness. 

A disease. 

It makes you impulsive. Delicate. Easy to fall apart. Makes you think and do things a sane person would never do. You give a piece of yourself up when you're in love, in hopes that the person you give it to will cherish that piece and protect it as their own, rather than destroy it. But you can never trust anyone with anything in your life, let alone your heart. Because if it breaks, you can try to mould it together, but the damage has already been done. You'll still have cracks and scars and pieces missing that are irreplicable and irreversible. So, you must protect your heart, because once its damaged, so are you, for all of eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really keen on developing this story. Plot wise and character wise. I didn't think people would read it; I was wrong. It was supposed to be a plain, plotless spicy and toxic fanfic I wrote out of boredom. 
> 
> But now it's becoming so much more. I have crazy plot twists in mind that I have yet to read about in other Draco fanfics, that I can't wait to write about.
> 
> Yes, there will still be spice, but there is also a beautiful story waiting to be told and a beautiful love waiting to be experienced.
> 
> **Just a quick clarification** Draco was not getting sucked off in the Great Hall, but in the corridor outside of it. Some of y'all are weirded out by that but I LOVE when characters do stuff like these in public places, sorryyyyy


	25. HEAL

****

**Lots of character development in this chapter, I love it.**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Test results come out today; I'm ready to see Ganger pull out her hair. After hypnotizing her that one time, it's become a rather routine based thing. I told her to get five questions wrong for every test. I would rather have her get all the questions wrong, but for Granger, that's the most realistic I could do. 

"Ayyyy, I passed!" Theo jumps up from his seat, waving his test in his hand.

"Barely," Blaise snorts, looking at his own paper.

Professor McGonagall finally approaches me, with a strange expression on her face, "not your best Miss. Karkaroff." She hands my test to me. 

_Not your best?!_

I unfold it and—

No.

No, this is impossible. 

I get up from my seat and walk over to Professor McGonagall, "Professor, there must be some mistake, could you possibly check over my test again?"

She looks up at me with her glasses lowered on the bridge of her nose, pursing her lips "there is no mistake Miss. Karkaroff. You failed, although I was a bit surprised too, given your usually exceptional performance in my class." 

"But this'll drop my grade in the class drastically."

"Perhaps so. But you _could_ receive tutoring which I can use the work you do with your tutor to improve your average."

Tutoring? I don't need fucking tutoring. I know everything. I always know everything. This is impossible.

"Mr. Malfoy can assist you. He's received the highest grade in the class." 

_I'm sorry, what?_

I turn around and notice Draco looking up at me from his seat with a stupid smirk on his face. I squint my eyes to quickly skim over the test on his desk.

WHAT!

HE GOT EVERYTHING CORRECT.

HOW?

"You both can meet up in the library; arrange times that work for the both of you." 

I do _not_ want him to tutor me. He can't tutor me. I'm smarter than him. I'm smarter than everyone. This makes no sense. 

_Fuck_.

"I will _gladly_ tutor Miss. Karkaroff, professor." He sneers.

"Very well, so it's settled." 

No the fuck it is not.

I take a quick glance at my test and the answers to make sure I'm not dreaming. 

What the hell? This isn't even my writing. These aren't even my answers. But it has my name on it. 

Wait. 

Before I handed in my test, I dropped my papers—

Of course! That bitch.

I walk over to Draco, taking a seat right next to him. "I know what you did." I lean in, whispering to him.

"You mean who I did? Yeah, Parkinson just couldn't keep her hands off me last night. What about it?"

Did he not just get sucked off by Lavender Brown yesterday? How diluted can Parkinson be?

"I'm not talking about _that_ you fucking idiot. My test. You fucked with my test, didn't you?"

He grabs my wrist from under the table, gripping it tightly "watch how you speak to me Karkaroff. Just admit it, you failed. Don't blame your stupidity on me."

I grab his test and look through the answers. 

"This is _my_ writing. These are _my_ answers!" I whisper-yell at him, shoving the test in his chest.

He slams it on the table and crosses his arms over his chest, sitting back in his seat. "You're clearly seeing things. I think you need to go to St. Mungos, you've officially become a lunatic."

"Oh, you haven't seen my lunatic side yet. Would you like a preview?" I scowl at him.

"Oh, I'd love one, how about my room, right after class?" He plays with my hair before I slap his hand away.

"Suck a dick."

"Suck _my_ dick." He lowers his voice and raises a brow at me, looking at me suggestively.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Do _not_ test me Malfoy. I don't give a fuck what you do, but do not start messing with my academics."

He pouts at me. "What? Little miss perfect can't accept the fact that she's not so perfect."

I give him a sinister smile, causing his amused expression to go cold. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" I retort innocently.

"That." He nods his head at my face. "Stop looking at me like that. You look bloody insane."

"Maybe I am bloody inane." I inch closer to him "Maybe I'm waiting for the perfect time. The perfect time to let myself go manic. And guess who'll be the first one I go loose on."

He too inches forward, with the same sinister smile on his face "you're not the only one holding themselves back Karkaroff. This is me calm. You don't have a clue what kind of monster I am. What I can become. What I'm capable of."

"Enlighten me." I whisper to him.

"In time Karkaroff; all will be revealed in time." He says, getting up from his seat before leaning down to whisper in my ear "in the meantime, get yourself ready for tonight's tutoring lesson. 9:00, sharp."

Is he seriously doing this? He can't tutor me when he's the one who actually failed. He just switched our tests.

"I'm not available at 9." I look up at him. 

"I don't care." He leaves the classroom.

I'll kill him. I'll do it. I just need a little _motivation_.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I'm sitting in the common room with Theo when Willow comes in and sits in the green armchair across from Theo and I with a grin on her face. "Ahhh, she's smiling again. You've been so moody lately." Theo throws a single wrapped chocolate frog at her, which she catches.

"I got the best fucking news ever, that's why." She pulls her braids away from her face so they rest on her back as she unwraps the chocolate frog.

"Lovegood propose to you?" He scoffs. He used to _really_ like Lovegood, so this is really awkward.

"Shut up." She rolls her eyes at him playfully. "So, you know how we lost ten grand?"

"Yeah." He responds.

"I just got off the phone with my dad; 50k was deposited into our account. It's anonymous where it's from but it's more than enough to make up for our loss."

"See I told you things would be alright." He smiles at her.

I _may_ have been the one depositing the money to her account. I have all the money in the world, I don't need it all. I'd rather have her shut up then listen to her babbling on about her profits. 

"So, you're really going to go study with Malfoy?" Theo turns to me. 

"I don't have a choice. He switched up our tests, now I'm the one dealing with the consequences."

"Mhhh, ' _consequences_ '." He retorts sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I look at him, noticing his amused expression.

"What he's trying to say is that he's trying to fuck you and you're trying to fuck him, so this isn't a 'consequence,' it's an excuse." Willow speaks out.

"Oh, you should've seen them in the corridors a couple days ago." Blaise sits down, joining in on the conversation.

"What happened in the corridors Asya?" Willow wiggles her brows.

"Nothing happened." I throw a chocolate frog at Blaise "Here, shut up and eat your chocolate frog lovebird."

Theo snorts, "yeah, he's a lovebird alright. I go to my dorm room to get some beauty sleep and walk in to see him and Daph doing the nasty, ' _I_ — _love_ — _you.'_ " He mimics their moans. 

"I told you to knock before coming in." Blaise hits the back of his head lightly.

"And I told you to use Colloportus but we don't always get what we want now do we Blaisey baby." Theo rubs the back of his head, hitting Blaise back.

I tune myself out of their conversation. Sometimes it just feels like I'm watching everyone have conversations. Like I'm invisible. I don't know what to talk about, because I can't relate to their conversations. Sometimes I want to be able to talk to someone, like they talk to each other—unfiltered, raw truth. It would be nice to have someone who would understand what I'm going through. 

But no one would understand. No one would want to understand. Because in a world of evil, sins and corruption, lies judgment. The most unreliable truth one possesses. People like to judge without understanding. They judge people like me for the pain we cause. The crimes we commit. The lives we take. But they are no different from us; their crimes are worse. Because in the end, they just watch. They don't do anything except go to school, get a 'proper' job, in the ministry, or as an Auror, or something. Have perfect little families. Laugh, love, smile. While the people they call evil, the people they judge, the people they despise, suffer just so they can continue to live their pristine lives. In the end, everyone is evil. Everyone is guilty. And everyone will pay their price.

I get up from the couch, brushing out my wrinkled skirt. "I think I'm gonna get going now, I have to meet up with tutor Malfoy."

"Have fun!" Willow yells sarcastically, as I walk away and make my way to the library. It's empty given the time of day, but Draco's not here either. I'm surprised, usually he's the one waiting for me to show up. I take a seat at one of the tables. I didn't bring my books; I don't need to. I'm not here to study. I don't need to study and he knows that. He did this on purpose. It's a part of the game. An excuse to see me. So, he wants to play, let's play. 

Twenty minutes has passed and he's still not here. Where the hell is he? I don't wait around for anyone. Ever. But I've been here picking at my nails, counting the books on the shelves. 

_Don't wait Asya._

No, he could arrive at any minute.

_Don't wait, you don't wait for anyone._

Five minutes. Just five more minutes, and if he doesn't show up, I'm leaving and, in the morning, I'll shove my test up his arse. Fucking bitch. He's making a fool out of me. 

I focus on the ticking sound of the clock, counting by every second that goes by. No one. No one shows up. The only breath I hear, is mine. Bastard stood me up. No screw this, I'm leaving. He's probably laughing at the thought of me being here. Or screwing some girl. Or getting drunk. He doesn't care, it's not like it's _his_ time he wasted. Maybe he doesn't want an excuse to spend time with me. Maybe this is all part of the game too. Nothing more. A game to make me look weak. To boost his ego. 

_Noooo, really Asya?_

Well, I won't let him. In fact, I'm going to go to his room and hex him. That'll teach him to respect his superiors. 

I walk through the corridors and see Pansy in the corner, talking to Adrian. So, he's clearly not with her. Maybe he's with that stupid Gryffindor girl. Or someone else. 

"Hey, Asya!" Ugh, it's him again.

"DeLaney." I give him a tut nod.

"I thought I made it clear I didn't want you calling me by my last name." He smirks at me.

"I thought I made it clear that I don't care."

"Okay, someone's in a pissy mood."

_Kill him Asya, he's in your way._

No, shut up.

"That's nice." I walk past him before he grabs my arm pulling me back to face him. I immediately take my wand out and point it at his neck, taking my arm out of his grasp "do not touch me or I _will_ kill you, understand?"

"Chill, I just wanted to talk to you." He raises his hands up in surrender.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you." I shove past him. Stupid boy. Thinks he can talk to me after meeting me only a day ago. I will kill him; I will kill anyone that gets in my way. Fuck I'm furious. He stood me up, and made a fool out of me. _Me_. I was going to hex him but after DeLaney pissed me off even more, I may as well cast an Avada. 

I storm through the corridors, making my way to the boy's dormitories to go to Draco's room. He's going to be sorry for what he did. He's going to pay. I cast _"Alohamora,"_ unlocking the door before I push it open. His room is dark. Bed is untouched. Like he's not even in here. I enter his room, looking around. His school uniform is folded and placed on his arm chair. So, he's not wearing his uniform, and he's not sleeping with someone in his room. He's probably out. Where the hell is, he?

I turn to leave before I hear a sound. A clattering sound. I turn back around and hear another clattering sound. It's coming from the bathroom. I walk towards it with my wand in my hand, pointing at the door. I'm just going to walk in, I don't care if he's naked. We both have seen everything there is to see on one another.

I twist the door handle but its locked. "Alohamora." I whisper, and open the door. 

Cotton pads, band aids, bruisewort balm, blood. 

Who died?

I look to the corner and notice a black collared shirt teared up and covered in blood, wrinkled in the corner before I see Draco, lying with his back against the wall, shirtless, covered in wounds. His chest is soaked in blood.

"Malfoy?" He looks up at me, with drowsy eyes. His skin is pale, sweat dripping down his forehead. He has a cut on his lip, a bruised cheek, and his chest is covered in bloody gashes. 

What the hell happened to him?

"Karkaroff" He tries to speak up but he can barely stay awake. He looks like he's on the verge of passing out. 

_Leave it alone Asya._

No.

_Leave him. Isn't this what you wanted? For him to suffer? For him to die? Leave him._

No.

_Leave him Asya. He's a threat to you. Leave him._

_Leave him._

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I rush over to him and kneel down by his side, "hey, look at me." I cup his cheek, moving it towards me so I can get a better look at the injuries on his face. "You need to try and stay awake. Okay? I'm gonna take you to Madam Pomfrey but I need you to help me out, I can't carry all your weight. Can you do that?"

"What the—hell do you—think? I can—barely—talk."

_Well shit._

"Okay just shut up." I take out my wand and cast _"Episky"_ to heal his minor injuries. His lip, cheek and the several other minor cuts and bruises on his body heal. But he's losing a lot of blood. 

"What was the spell used on you, do you know?" 

"Sec-sectum-s-sempra." He chokes out. Of course. _Sectumsempra_ , Snapes spell; it wounds your skin so deep you suffer from severe internal and external bleeding, causing fatal blood loss. I can't take him to Madam Pomfrey now, she'll start to question the root cause for his injuries. Sectumsempra is a hidden curse, no one must know of it. But then who did this to him?

I trace my wand over his ghostly skin, muttering a melodic incantation _"Vulnera Sanentur."_ His blood flow starts to slow down; the stream of red slowly disappearing. _"Vulnera Sanentur."_ The residue of the blood vanishes, his wounds slowly binding. _"Vulnera Sanentur."_ His wounds fully mend; the evidence of his suffering now on the floors and on his wrinkled-up shirt. I take my attention off of his wounds and look at him. He passed out. 

I trail my fingers over his chest, feeling over his old scars, and the new ones that just appeared as a result of his injury. I look through the washroom cupboards hoping to find the essence of Dittany, and end up finding a small vial of the brown liquid, gently applying it onto his scars. He might have more that I can't see right now, but I can't move him too much, he'll have to apply it on himself later. _"Wingardium Leviosa."_ I levitate him slowly and carefully onto the green silk sheets on his bed. 

A few moments later I use a wet warm cloth to clean off the dried blood on his brow, and temple. Each wipe, cleaning away his impurities, revealing his soft, angelic features under the dark veil he wears. For the first time ever, I notice his brows not furrowed. They're relaxed. His body is no longer tense. Like he let himself go. Released himself from the tension, the anger; everything that burdens him. Innocent. He looks innocent. The more I wipe the cloth against his face, the more I notice that cold, heartless man disappearing, to reveal a helpless boy as pure as the driven snow. Yes, he's vile, cruel; a devil. But right now, I see good. Maybe him and I are not much different. Both broken, but hidden under the veils we wear, refusing to show a glint of weakness because we are scared of breaking to the point of no return. I see him. I see his scars, and his fears, and his truth. 

If I showed him all of me, would he show me all of him too?

If I healed his scars, would he heal mine too? 

But how can I heal him when I struggle to heal myself?

I can't. I can't do it. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I wake up to a glint of light burning through my gaze, only to see another light peeking through my vision; Karkaroff. She's sleeping in my armchair now pulled to the side of my bed, her hair no longer perfect, tousled around like she hasn't cared for it in days. Her under eyes no longer concealed, revealing the darkness, her exhaustion and despair. Her lips no longer painted with red. Her glowing skin now dull, begging to be touched so that her once blushed cheeks can replenish with the graze of my fingertips. Innocent. She looks innocent. Untouched. Unloved. 

It's _almost_ believable. 

I look down at my bare chest, noticing the fading of my new scars, over top of the old. Dittany. I see essence of dittany on my desk, right next to a bowl of water with a blood-stained cloth. 

She healed me. 

Holy shit, _she_ healed _me_. Physically at least. 

Her fingers were on my chest, and I wasn't present to feel it. To feel the touch that I longed for months. Maybe if I slept for longer, she would still care for me. Maybe I would get to feel her cold, delicate fingertips touch my scars again. I look around my room and notice its cleaner than usual. My folded uniform now put away in my wardrobe. Her long lashes start to flutter in the sunlight, and her softened expression growing tense again as she awakens to her reality. So, I close my eyes again, in hopes to feel her once more. If this is the only way she'll touch me, the only way she'll care for me, then I'll sleep for a lifetime. 

I feel a woosh of cold air brush past my skin, as she gets up from her seat, her scent flourishing my room. She comes back towards me, now hovering over my body, as I feel a warm, damp cloth wiping gently along my face. She's cleaning my face for me. She then takes the back of her hand, pressing it against my forehead to feel my temperature. 

Am I warm, or am I cold?

Her cold fingertips kiss my skin, feeling my scars before I feel the soft touch of cotton dabbing the cold dittany over my chest, and abdomen. 

I hear her humming. 

Karkaroff hums. 

I never thought I'd live to see the day; this girl is caring for me, humming for me, like a mother. Like _my_ mother. When I would get hurt and she'd hum sweet melodies to me, telling me all would be okay, brushing her fingers through my hair and kissing my cheek.

She touches me like my mother. Hums to me like my mother. She froze that night in my dorm room when I binded her and left her there for hours, like my mother. 

**Asya's POV**

After cleaning his face, and applying the dittany. I observe him from a distance. His face is no longer pale, he looks like himself again. 

"Karkaroff." I hear his raspy voice call out my name, as I bring my attention back to his face. His silver eyes looking at me, as the sunlight brings out the small blue flecks in them.

"Finally, you're awake." 

"What are you doing here?" He groans in pain.

"Just checking in that's all. How you feeling?"

"Like I just woke up from the dead."

"Well, you kind of did. Two days of the dead. I expected you to be unconscious for at least a week, but you turned out to be stronger than I thought."

"I'm a Malfoy." He snickers.

_Aaaand he's back._

"Yep, the arrogance is back, you're perfectly fine."

He tries to get up from the bed, holding on to it for support. "I wouldn't rush to get up, you've been in bed for forty-eight hours straight, your legs are probably numb."

He scoffs, "what, are you a Madam Pomfrey now?" 

I ignore his comment, leaving the bathroom door open as I handwash the bloody cloth. I can feel his gaze on me, but I refuse to meet it. How can I look at him after what happened? He knows I healed him. He knows I waited. He knows I cared for him. Knowing him, he'll use it against me. I can't let him do that. I won't.

"Karkaroff." He calls out, as I turn off the tap and squeeze the water out of the cloth before hanging it to dry.

"What?"

"Why did you help me?"

_Yeah Asya, why did you help him?_

"Because I did, it's not a big deal."

"That's not an answer."

"Yes, it is. Wow, for someone who's been unconscious for two days, you really do talk a lot." I hear him laugh. An actual fucking laugh.

"You look like shit."

I get out of the bathroom and turn to look at him, noticing his eyes trailing up and down my body, before examining my tired face. "So do you." I give him a sarcastic smile. "And you smell like it too so you need to wash up." He doesn't though. He still smells like sandalwood, mint, apples; he still smells like him.

"Is this your excuse to see me naked. Karkaroff, all you had to do was ask, I would instantly give you a strip tease." He gets up, wobbling back a bit before catching his balance.

"Shut up." I cross my hands over my chest.

"Make me." He mimics my stance, coming closer to me.

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Merlin you're still so fucking infuriating."

"And you're still so fucking stubborn."

"Okay Malfoy, well since you're able to stand, I'll be leaving now."

"Of course, you are." I hear him whisper under his breath.

"What?" I ask him, but I heard every word. I just want to know what he means. 

"You can leave Karkaroff. I give you permission."

"Yes, and I totally asked for your permission." I scoff. I pass him some towels and a clean pair of clothes "here."

"You _do_ realize I could've gotten them myself, right?"

_Right. Stupid Asya. You're so fucking stupid._

"Just fucking take it."

"You're lucky I'm in this state, or you would regret talking to me like that."

I give him a smile and flick him off, turning to leave.

"Karkaroff." He calls out. I stop with my back faced to him.

"I was going to show up." I don't say anything. "To the library. I was going show up. I didn't ditch you."

"I kind of figured given that I found you drowning in blood in your bathroom."

"Why'd you come to my room. Come to punish me for being late?" I can feel a smirk growing on his face. 

"Yep, but someone already did it for me, so no need. Maybe another time, if you piss me off."

I feel a strand of my hair being pulled, causing me to turn around. He's standing over me, looking down at me, amused. "did I piss you off?"

"Not today." I smile at him. "But I trust you will another time. You always do. _Then_ I'll punish you."

"Promise?" He sticks his hand out for me to shake, like I did to him a few months back when we agreed on playing this game.

"Promise." I reach my hand out to meet his. We grip each other's hands gently, not tight like the last time. Yet our hands are properly clasped together, like we don't want to let go. I don't want to let go. Because if I do, everything will turn back to the way it was. We'll both have to wear our masks again. Playing this game, that I'm not sure I want to play anymore. But I finally let go, releasing my grip from his hand. He holds on just second longer before releasing my hand. Because he too knows that we have to let go. This is all a game. And that's all it'll be.


	26. PHOTOGRAPHS

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"Okay shut up." Willow rubs her temples. Theo and Blaise went to Hogsmeade, and brought some food to our dorm; they got a little carried away with Willow's weed.

"No no you're missing out on the best part," Theo takes one more hit from his joint before passing it to Willow to hold. "And then after that verse that you so rudely interrupted us on, we go, _Skrrt that"_

_"Yeet"_

_"Pop that"_

_Which one should I Stupefy first..._

"Okay, that's enough." I cut them off.

Theo throws a wrapper from one of his sweets at me "You're so fucking boring. Just sing it with us." 

"No." I glare at him.

"Asyaaaaa." Blaise shakes my shoulders.

"No."

"Just say yeet once and we'll leave you alone." Theo raises his brows at me, looking at me expectedly. Blaise and him both look at each other with a grin and nod, chanting my name like they're at a quidditch game.

_I hate myself._

"Yeet. Now fuck off out of our room. Both of you." 

"Whatever." Theo scoffs. "Hey mate maybe Daph will—"

"No." Blaise cuts him off.

"But you don't even know what I'm gonna say."

"Anything that comes out of your mouth, especially when it involves her, is a no for me."

"I see, so this is how our friendship is, ey?" Theo sniffles, wipes fake tears before they both go to the door to leave.

"Wait! Take these." Willow throws them their shirts; they both took them off for the _'effect'_. " _Now_ you can fuck off." They toss their shirts over their heads, swinging it around like its hair, before finally leaving.

"Never again." I eye Willow.

"Agreed." She burns out her joint. "You going to your tutor session tonight?"

"I'm just going to get the work I need to complete from him. Then I'll come back up to my dorm. McGonagall said I just need to finish the tutoring work."

"Mhmmm"

"Mhmmm," I repeat after her. "Anyways, I'll be back, in the meantime, feel free to use a Scourgify. They left a fucking mess in here." I leave my dorm and make my way to the library, noticing a blonde head peak up from its seat as I open the door. He has books with him.

_Does he actually think I'm going to let him tutor me?_

"What's with the books? I don't actually need to be tutored by you. I wouldn't have failed if you hadn't switched out the tests."

He looks at me with a serious face, "I'm not going to tutor you. You're going to tutor me."

_Excuse me?_

"That's funny." I scoff, "just give me the work so I can leave."

"I'm not joking. Sit." He pats the seat next to him.

"No. I'm not tutoring you."

"If you don't tutor me, then I'll fail the next test."

"That sounds like a you problem."

A smirk grows on his face as he leans into the table, putting his elbows on it while resting his head on his hands. "It's also a _you_ problem. Because if I do, I'll switch up the tests again. _And_ I'll burn the work McGonagall gave me and tell her you did it, so then, you'll be failing the class."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you really threatening me right now? You do realize I could easily cast a full body-bind curse, take the assigned work and leave you here, right?"

"And you do realize I'll get back at you, right?" He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair "just an hour. Sit."

"And what do I get out of it?"

"I have a few things in mind." He looks over my body "Stop asking questions. Sit." I take a seat across from him and grab his book but he takes a hold of my arm, leaning in to smell my sleeve. "Have you been smoking?" He looks back at me, releasing my arm. "You smell like your perfume and weed."

"Okay?" 

_What's it to him?_

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Smoke. Before you're going to be around me anyways. I want you sober around me."

"That's not your call. And I didn't smoke. Theo, Blaise and Willow did in our dorm."

"Mhmmm" He nods, looking down at his books. He looks like he has something on the tip of his tongue. I _would_ insist him on telling me, but his stubborn arse would want to hear me beg him to do so, so I'll ignore him. Besides, he's an attention whore, he'll fess up to me regardless. "It was just the four of you? Greengrass wasn't there? Or... _DeLaney_?" He spits his name out in a disgusted tone.

"No, just the four of us. Why, we can't hang out?"

"No by all means, hang out with whoever you want." He scoffs.

"Awww, are you sad you weren't invited?" I pout at him.

"I have better things to do then spend time in your dorm." He scowls at me.

"Oh sure, Parkinson is an interesting breed."

"Karkaroff shut the fuck up before I make you. And wipe that look off your face. Chapter twenty, read it to me." He pushes the textbook across the table, towards me.

"Do you not know how to read?"

"No. Now read it."

"I'm not reading i—" He gives me a deadly glare, causing me to snort out laughing. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Read and I'll stop."

"You're an idiot."

He smirks, "likewise, Karkaroff, now read."

I sigh, and start reading the pages aloud. I've been reading for ten minutes now, and he hasn't made a sound. I haven't even looked up. 

_Did he fall asleep?_

I stop reading and look up to notice him staring at me, his head resting on his hand. 

"Are you even listening to me?" I snap at him.

"No Karkaroff, I'm sleeping." He replies sarcastically.

"Well, you might as well be, you haven't asked a single question and I've been reading for ten minutes. Don't tell me you suddenly understand everything."

"Apparently I do, your voice is more engaging than McGonagall's."

_Of course, bastard used this whole thing as an excuse._

"You didn't need help did you?" I sneer at him. He looks at me with a fake confused look on his face. "With the work. You didn't need help. Malfoy, you're an idiot but you're not _this_ dumb. The things I've read about, a second year can do."

"But you still read it to me." He lifts a brow at me, looking smugly. 

"Because I thought you actually needed help."

"That's bullshit. You wouldn't help me unless you really wanted to." I take the work I need to complete from in front of him "I think that injury left you a little fucked in the head, yeah?" I reply, getting up to leave.

"Yeah, run away, like you always do." I ignore his comment. We glare at each other for a few moments before I pack up my stuff, closing his textbook before a page nicks my index finger, causing me to wince a little.

He notices; a look of disgust growing on his face "for fucks sake Karkaroff, you got your disgusting blood on my textbook." I narrow my eyes at him and go to leave, holding everything in one hand, but he gets up and pulls me by my arm. "What are you doin—" Before I can finish my sentence, he grabs my wrist and inspects my finger, bringing it to his mouth, sucking on the small droplet of blood. I observe him closely, feeling a warm sensation on my finger before he pulls away from my finger, giving it a quick look to see if the bleeding stopped, and casting Epsikey, to heal the cut, "there. Now we're even."

_Even my arse, it's not like I saved his life or anything.  
_

I pull my hand back, and hum at him in response.

_That was... something._

**Draco's POV**

She pulls her hand back, resting it on her side, without a word to say, looking up at me with a slightly shocked expression on her face, before masking it with a cold glare, leaving the library.

I didn't need help. She knew that too. I just wanted an excuse for her to spend time with me. And she used this opportunity to do so. I failed that test on purpose. I already knew everything on it, but I know how much she values her grades, so I thought I'd play with her a little. I like seeing her mad.

She knows she can't stay away from me for long. She's trying hard to hold herself, I can feel her distress because I feel the same feeling every time I'm around her. This is just a game, only one person wins, but who? It has to end eventually, but what happens when it does? Will she even look at me anymore? Will she talk to me anymore? That is, if she's still around by the time this game ends.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

Snape's new potion should be ready for me sometime today or tomorrow. He said he'd owl me when it is. I really don't understand why the current potion isn't affecting me as much anymore. I've been taking it for years without any problems.

"Come on" Snape snaps his fingers for the class to hurry up and take their seats. Draco's not here. Again. He usually doesn't miss Snape's classes. A couple minutes into class, DeLaney walks in, his eyes look bloodshot. "Heyyyy." Theo and Blaise walk in after him.

Snape whips his head to his direction, snapping the textbook closed "Ahhh, the three stooges. How generous of you to finally show up." They stand at the door awkwardly, fidgeting with their fingers. "Sit." Snape order them, pointing at a seat for each of them to sit in, before pointing to a pot for DeLaney to sit it. It's Draco's spot, right next to me. DeLaney looks at me, then at the seat, walking towards me and taking a seat.

"Hey, you" He whispers. I ignore him, turning away to pay attention to Snape. It's clear he smoked before class, he sprayed way too much cologne.

"Rude." I hear him scoff. I ignore him again, thinking he'd leave me alone, only this time I feel a tickling sensation on my scalp. I move my head slightly to notice him playing with the end of one of my curls. "Can you not touch my hair?" I whisper to him.

"It's not my fault your hair's everywhere." He scoffs. "Fucking Rapunzel."

"Would you like me to strangle you with it?"

"Is that an offer?" I see him holding back a grin.

"Shut up." I turn away from him to notice Draco walking into class, his tie loose, and part of his shirt untucked. He looks like a mess. Like he hooked up with someone kind of mess. Of course, he did, what did I think would happen, I would heal and care for him and then he'd all of a sudden stop being him? 

"Mr. Malfoy, take a seat." Snape glares at him with a bored expression. He looks at his seat, noticing DeLaney sitting there instead. He instantly clenches his jaw, looking at me, before focusing on my hair that's still being twirled around.

"It's taken." He replies bluntly.

"Then problem solve." Snape replies. Draco approaches us, taking a seat right behind me with his gaze fixated on my hair in DeLaney's fingers. He _cannot_ be mad right now, especially when he's walking into class looking like _that_. A couple minutes pass by and DeLaney lets go of my hair to stretch, resting one arm on his desk, and one on the back of my chair before I hear a slap. "Move your arm, I can't see." Draco whisper-yells.

DeLaney turns to look at him, "my arm isn't in your line of vision Malfoy." He puts his arm back on the back of the chair.

"How do you know what's in my line of vision _DeLaney_? Move it." He scowls.

"Will you both shut up?" I whisper.

Draco leans in from the back to whisper in my ear, "tell your desk buddy to move his arm, I can't see."

"You're six-foot, stop whining and look up."

"Don't tell me what to do Karkaroff."

"Or what Malfoy?" He doesn't respond, leaning back in his seat. A couple minutes pass by before DeLaney leans in to whisper something in my ear "he's staring at you." I shift my head to meet DeLaney's chocolate brown eyes, "I know." His face grows into a smirk. I take my robe off, and shift in my seat so that I'm turned around facing Draco, as I drape my robe over the back of my chair, before looking up to see him glaring at me. He looks like he wants to kill me right now.

Rolling my eyes, I turn around before I feel a tug at the back of my head. He's pulling on a strand of my hair as he leans in from the back and whispers "don't roll your eyes at me," before letting go. Snape finally dismisses us; I get up from my seat and put my robe back on when I get pulled from the hood of my robe, my back against his chest. "You're going to regret that little show you put on, Karkaroff." I feel Draco's breath against the nape of my neck.

_You're going to regret that little show you put on Karkaroff._

Bitch.

"Mr. Malfoy, a word please." Snape interrupts us, as Draco releases me, shoving past me. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I spent majority of the day doing homework. And the rest of my time thinking about everything else. Winter break is soon, and so is the Death Eater initiation ceremony. I've never seen Voldy in the flesh; many fear him not only for his reputation but for his appearance as well. 

I'll be the judge of that. 

Yes, he's evil, yes, he's done bad things, yes, he is a sociopathic serial killer, but how am I any different? I'm going to a school, pretending to be friends, with people who I'm going to either have to end up killing or be reason to it, so who am I to judge? 

But I do find it ironic how a half-blood is a pure-blood supremacist. I've read about him quite a lot. One of the darkest wizards of our age, a part from Grindelwald. He was an orphan; his father abandoned him, and his mother died at birth. He too craved power, much like me; wanted to become immortal, made some horcruxes and then ended up making a stupid mistake trying to kill Potter, causing him to become not only the boy who lived, but the only boy who could kill him.

Pathetic really. Even the _'Dark Lord,'_ is a dumbass. This is why impulse is a horrible trait. He's been so impulsive all these years trying to become powerful, he ended up digging his own grave.

"Hey, I think you have a letter." Willow points at the owl flying from the window, landing in front of me on the dining table. It's probably Snape telling me the potion is ready. 

About time.

I grab the black envelope from its beak, ripping it open before taking a peek inside.

Photographs.

_What is this?_

Fuck.

"Are you okay?" Willow looks at me confused.

"Yes, perfect." I smile, "I'm gonna go now."

"But you didn't even finish you're dinn—"

"You can have it." I get up abruptly and leave the Great Hall, storming off to my dorm room and closing the door, locking it. Panic tears through my chest as I feel my lungs constricting. 

_Breathe Asya._

_This can't be real._

I pour out the photographs on to my bed, scattering them.

Blood.

Brown eyes.

My mother's brown eyes.

Her pale, bruised skin.

Someone sent me pictures of her fucking corpse, all taken in different angles.

 _He_ sent me pictures of her corpse.

It has to be him. No one else would've known. Just him and my father, but he's dead which only leaves one person...

He's playing games with me, he's trying to scare me, I just know it. He wants me to come back, I'm not coming back. I can't. I need this potion now. I can't survive without it. I can't survive _him_ without it. 

I lift my mattress and get the vial, tipping it all into my mouth until I've consumed every last drop hoping that the aching sensation in my chest will go away. But I feel it getting tighter and tighter. A rush of thoughts flash through my mind from that night.

Every breath.

_"My precious."_

Every blink.

_"Help me."_

Every heartbeat.

_"Please."_

I thought of her.

_"Do it."_

I still think of her.

_"Stop!"_

Since the day it all ended.

_"Avada Kadavra!"_

Because that day, I not only lost my mother, I lost myself too.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

Karkaroff didn't show up to class yesterday. She didn't show up to any of them. I thought she may have been avoiding me, but no one else saw her. Last person to see her was her mudblood roommate, in the Great hall. She never misses her classes. Too perfect to ruin her _exceptional_ attendance.

But today she showed up; she looks tired, like she hasn't slept in days, but brushes it off with a smile on her face. I can tell it's fake, like all of her smiles. She hides under her smile. To show everyone that she's alright, but I know she's not. Because her and I are the same in that manner. Pretending; maybe that's why we clash so much. Because we're so alike. She's as stubborn as I am. As conniving as I am. She and I wear the same noose on our necks, waiting for the darkness to hang us.

"Draco, do you want to come over by my dorm later tonight? Daphne's going out with Blaise." Pansy whispers to me.

I haven't touched her in a few days. I haven't been in the mood. I'm always in the mood, but with all the stress from my tasks for the Dark Lord, and my fathers' expectations, I guess it's kind of expected.

"I don't know, I might. Leave it open just in case." I respond bluntly, facing the front of the class; my eyes trailing to Karkaroff every now and then. 

Every second I spend looking, I notice more things about her. How she squints her eyes and furrows her brows whenever she's reading something. How she always raises her hand faster than Granger, eager to know everything. She has to know everything; always so stubborn. She always wears a hair tie on her wrist. Not to put up her hair, but because she fidgets with it. She always has an extra quill because she likes to put her hair up with it, like she's afraid of breaking her delicate curls with a regular hair tie. Like right now, she has her quill holding half of her curly brown hair back, with loose strands framing features.

_She doesn't even have to try and she looks perfect._

_Why is it that everything about her looks perfect when I know it's not?_

"Draco are you alright?" Parkinson snaps me out of my focus.

"I'm trying to focus Parkinson, be quiet." I'm trying to focus on this girl who I just can't understand. Why can't I understand her? Everything she has, everything she does, she does with a purpose. She thinks twenty steps ahead before doing something. Maybe that's why I struggle so much to keep up.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I couldn't go to class yesterday; I spent the entire day up at the Astronomy Tower just thinking about every possibility that could ruin me, every plan that _he_ could have or already has made. I spent the day making my own plans of how and where I'd go if _he_ found me. Seeing those photographs. It brought back memories and emotions that I've been avoiding for so long. My body couldn't even relax from the current dose of my potion. It didn't let me. So, I smoked a little and took some Dreamless sleep potion; knocked me right out. Snape said I could get my potion today after class, but I have to wait twenty-four hours to drink it because the old potion is still in my system and needs to wear off completely. Him and his fucking rules. 

In the meantime, Willow gave me some pills; said it would give me a calming effect. Took one an hours ago, I feel great. No, I feel better than ever. It doesn't give me the numbing effects of the potion, but it relaxes me just enough so I'm aware of what's going on, but I'm not sleeping like on Dreamless Sleep potion.

"Ahhh, Professor Snape, to what do I owe the honour?" Professor Slughorn turns to face him.

"I need a student from your class, Miss. Karkaroff." Snape looks at me, as does the rest of the class, whispering to one another. Could he not have waited until later in the day? I just dealt with the rumours that I was sleeping with him for grades.

"Yes of course, Miss. Karkaroff." Slughorn dismisses me.

"You could have given me the potion later on." I try to keep up with him. He's walking like he's in a rush.

"It's ready but I didn't pull you out of class to discuss the potion."

"Oh right, I missed my training yesterday morning. I'll make it up, something came u—"

"Not the training, just be quiet and follow me."

_What's his problem?_

"Look, I'm going to need you to slowdown, I'm not a track star."

He ignores me. He really is walking fast though; it's making me dizzy. Or maybe I'm just really slow.

We get to his classroom and he immediately shuts his door, locking it with a _Colloportus_ charm.

_Okay?_

"What's wrong with you?" I observe his expression. His usual boring features look like a mixture of anxious and angry.

"You lied to me." He snaps at me.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked you if he sent you anything, you lied to me. You said he didn't."

I don't answer, trying my best to look as confused as possible. He clearly knows about _him_ trying to contact me, but I need to know what he's talking about. The letter I received yesterday or the one I received a few months ago.

He unlocks the drawer in his desk, pulling out a black envelope, and handing it over to me. "This letter was addressed to you, but it reached me somehow." I look up at him, and he nods towards the envelope, urging me to open it. I open the already ripped envelope and notice a note with more pictures. I open the note and read it.

_Happy birthday._

Then I take out the pictures, shuffling them through my hands.

_Holy shit._

It's _him._

Snape continues, "I'm not sure who sent it. I tried to find a trace but, nothing."

"Is he—"

"Dead? No, not yet anyways. I'm not surprised to see him like this, he's made a lot of enemies looking for you."

I can't even focus on what Snape's saying, I keep looking at the photographs. I haven't seen him in so long. Now I can't even recognize him. Whoever sent this to me, tortured him badly. But I don't feel a shred of empathy for him. I've been dreaming of seeing him like this; bloody, clothes torn apart, laying on the floor.

_He deserves it Asya._

_He deserves to die._

"Asya." Snape snaps me out of my thoughts.

"I just got a letter a few months back. I didn't know who it was from, it didn't have a signature or anything and the message was very blunt, I just threw it away." I lie. I'm not even about to tell him about yesterday's letter and the photographs I received in it. Snape doesn't know about that night. No one does, except for me, him, and my father. But then if he is being held captive right now, who sent the letter yesterday? Maybe it was addressed to me beforehand.

"Asya, I have a role as your guardian to protect you. You not telling me things makes it hard for me to do so." He raises his voice slightly, causing me to look up at him.

"I don't need your protection. I can handle myself. I have handled myself, all my life. You showed up as my guardian after my father died; you didn't even know what was going on in my life before that. And you still don't."

"Three weeks" He ignores my response to him "in three week's time you will meet the Dark Lord. Winter Break is in just a few days. You will be staying at the Malfoy Manor in the meantime; the meeting will be held there."

"The Malfoy Manor? I'm not staying with them; I could get killed in that house just for being a Karkaroff."

"These are the Dark Lord's orders. And they will not touch you, not unless they want to die in doing so."

"Ahhh, so I'm under Voldy's protection, how touching." I scoff. 

"As long as you keep calling him that, you won't be. Tame yourself child, your actions not only effect you, but they affect me too."

"Alright, I guess I could do you a favour and calm down a smidge. But just for you, after all you are my oh so _caring_ guardian." 

He ignores my sarcasm and takes out a vial from his desk "remember, twenty-four hours later you take one drop. No more, no less; this one is much stronger than the last, I don't know the effects of it yet, but they shouldn't be too harsh."

"Yep, I got it." I take it from his hand.

"Has he tried to communicate with you, through your head or through visions."

_"Kill or be killed."_

_Could that have been him though?_

_And I did see him that one time in my dream..._

"No." I give him a bland response.

"Remember, he may be held captive now but there's always a possibility it's another one of his games. Don't let your guard down."

"I'm Asya Karkaroff. Letting my guard down? I don't know her."

He looks at me with confusion before dismissing me. I should be relieved, right? He's out of the way and I don't have any other threat. Well, there's Malfoy but I'm working on that. Then there's Voldy, but apparently, I'm under his protection. Then again, he could very much Avada me at the ceremony. He likes the dramatics; I was surprised he didn't kill me after his followers killed my father. But now that I think about it, maybe he's waiting for the perfect time. To have me sit at his table with a bunch of death eater's who would slit my throat in an instant just for being a Karkaroff. Then after wining and dining, he surprises me with my death. Or maybe he just wants to use me to get tasks done and then he's planning on killing me.

_Three weeks._

Three fucking weeks...

_Okay Asya lay out your options..._

So, in three weeks, I'll either be dead, a death eater given a task only to be killed off later on, or he'll be generous and just ink me up without killing me. Unless I die in the Manor.

The fucking Manor. Of all places. The possibility of me and Draco sleeping just a couple meters apart, split by a wall, makes me feel tense. It's a good thing I got the new potion today, I'll be able to get back my control.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I'm back up at the Astronomy Tower. Probably my favourite place in the entire castle. Especially in the night. It's perfectly quiet; only the sounds of the howling winter. I like the cool breeze of the winter air. Almost painful at times from how cold it is, but I like the pain; it's a good kind of pain. A liberating pain.

I like to sit on the railings sometimes, like right now. I love it. I love the adrenaline rush it gives me. And I'm needing it now more than ever; I haven't slept in almost two days so I need something to rejuvenate me.

The stars shine bright tonight. They shine for me. The stars are the only things that shine with passion and love at my presence, always welcoming me, holding me from above. It's like they're speaking to me. Asking me to join them in the sky and watch over everything, everyone; the good, the evil. Every star tells a story. They're all souls, shining for everyone to see, desperate for attention, hoping that someone will notice and understand their purpose. Maybe one day I can join them; then the whole world would notice and understand me.

But even stars are prisoners in this world. They're bought, gifted, named; not left to be themselves. Whether you're dead or alive, a star or the sky; as long as you exist in this universe, you will never have full liberation and control over yourself. Always used for the benefit of a greater power.

"Karkaroff." I hear a voice interrupt my dazed thoughts. It's muffled from the sounds of the whispers, howls, screams, and memories storming in my mind. The one moment of peace I have and he ruins it yet again. I turn my head back and notice two silvers specks looking at me.

"Have you finally come to kill me?" I ask him.

"I don't need to. You seem to be managing yourself." He replies sarcastically.

"Come." I pat the railing next to me.

"I'm not on a suicide mission."

"Oh right, I forgot, you Malfoy's lack courage."

"Watch yourself Karkaroff, I could push you off right now." he warns me.

"Bet, do it." I respond bluntly.

"Get off from there before you do something stupid."

"No. Now push me. You just threatened me, yeah? Don't let it go to waste."

"I prefer more hands-on kills."

"That's cute. So, kill me now." He just glares at me. Maybe I could scare him, just a smidge. I flinch myself forward, letting out an exaggerated gasp.

He moves towards me in a n instant, ready to take a hold of me. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"You told me to get off." 

"Oh, for fucks sake I didn't mean pitch yourself off the Astronomy Tower, just get off the railing." I sit up from the bars, now standing on the edge, as I turn my body around so that I'm facing him, holding the railings in front of me while my back has a free breeze. "Make me."

"If you don't get down from there right now I'll—"

"You'll what? Punish me? Well, considering the fact that any move I make right now could kill me, you're not needed for that. So, your threats are useless."

He walks towards be abruptly, so I let one hand go off the railing to warn him "don't come near me, or I'll jump." I'm not actually going to jump. I just want to see his reaction.

"Fuck off, you wouldn't jump."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"A person who wanted to jump would've already jumped. Stop testing me and get off."

"Why so tense, Malfoy?"

"Why so tense?" He laughs "If you fall, as a witness, I'm going to be blamed for it.

"Oh, so you don't care if I die?"

He rolls his eyes, "I'm not going to be playing games with you, get off."

"Why not, we've been playing games for months?"

"I'm serious."

"So am I. You like your games Malfoy, so do I. Who cares if I jumped? I'd release you of your burden, and I already don't have family, so no one gets left behind. I'd be doing you a favour."

"Did you take something?" He sends me another deadly glare

"Can you just come here and sit with me. And if not, then fuck off, you're ruining my relaxation."

"You really are insane if _this_ is your way of relaxation."

"Mhmm." I turn around, sitting back on the railing. A few moments of silence later and I feel his presence getting closer as his shadow grows larger, before I see him climbing over the railing to sit on it. If I had known that the only way to get him to listen to me was to be on the verge of death, I would've done this. along time ago.

"Good boy." I see him instantly snap his head my way, looking at me for a moment.

"Call me that again and I'll actually push you this time."

"What? Good boy?" I turn to him, holding back a laugh. He actually looks like he could strangle me right now. "Okay, I won't. Not tonight at least."

He ignores my comment and turns to face the view. We both just sit in silence, looking at the stars. I can feel the side of his hand lightly brushing against mine, as both of our hands are curled against the railing. I don't move it, and neither does he. I feel calm with his presence right now. It's surprising because he usually enrages me. But now, he's not so bad. Having someone look at the view from the same perspective as me, it makes me feel less lonely. But every good thing comes to an end eventually.

"Malfoy?" I break the silence.

"Mhmm" he hums back in response.

"Who used that curse on you, the night I found you in the bathroom?"

"What difference does it make if I tell you? You going to kill them for me?" He sniggers.

"No, I'm going to give them a fat thank you kiss." I hear him scoff "I might... I don't like other's threatening the lives of my enemies. If anyone is going to kill you, it's going to be me."

"Likewise, Karkaroff."

"Sooo...?"

"What?"

"Are you going to tell me or should I threaten to jump again."

"You won't need to threaten me, I'm very tempted to throw you off myself at this point." A couple seconds of silence goes by before he continues "Potter."

_Harry Potter?_

"Potter? Like Potter Potter. The chosen one potter. Round glasses, lightening bolt sca—"

"How many Potter's do you know? Yes, that one."

"Holy shit." Harry Potter? Using a hidden curse? Snape's hidden curse? I always knew there was something sketchy about him. 

Draco continues, "I've never heard of that curse until he used it on me. How'd you know how to heal me?"

"I just did."

"That's not an answer."

"Yes, it is"

"You're avoiding the question."

"And you're starting to get annoying again."

"You're so fucking stubborn, it's one question. I didn't ask for your hand in marriage."

I sigh, "I have some previous knowledge with it, that's all you need to know."

"Got hit by it type of knowledge or healed it type of knowledge?"

"You talk a lot."

"Not an answer."

"Both, now stop talking and let me watch the stars."

"You're ordering me around again. Lucky for you, 'mother nature's drug,' calmed me down a little."

"Lovely."

"Yes, lovely indeed." We sit in silence for a couple more minutes. I genuinely don't know what to talk about because majority of the time we're throwing threats back and forth at eachother. Now we're sitting like... normal people.

"I'm staying at your Manor over the break." I inform him.

"I'm aware."

I turn to face him again; he's still looking ahead. "Wait, so you knew?"

"I found out a couple days ago."

"Perfect." I guess everyone knows everything concerning my life except for me.

"Your ceremonies soon."

"Yeah."

"Are you scared?"

"Of what? Becoming a death eater or Voldy?"

He lets out a soft chuckle before replying "Both."

"No."

"You're lying."

I turn to face him to see that he's already looking at me "No I'm not."

"That's bullshit. Any sane person would be afraid."

"Well, I'm not sane now am I Malfoy? Why, were you scared?"

"I'm not sane either Karkaroff." Of course you aren't. "Besides, you have more of a reason to be scared, your father betrayed the Dark Lord, who's to say he won't kill you right then and there at the ceremony."

"Something tells me he's not going to do it, not yet anyway. With the experience I have, I'm like a weapon, he wouldn't want to kill me off right away. Not before getting me to do his dirty work."

"Your confidence is inspiring, where can I get some?"

"You have plenty. I'm serious though. And if I die, I die, oh well."

"That's it?"

"Yep, that's it." It's not like the life I'm living now is any better than death. "I'm gonna get going. You staying here?"

"Am I not allowed to stay here?"

"Go ahead."

"Mhmm" He hums, not looking at me.

I move myself off of the railing, placing one foot back on the tower, when I suddenly feel a grip on my arm. "Fucking hell, just wait" Draco holds me back. He gets off first before gripping onto my waist and lifting me off the railing, letting me down slowly and carefully so we don't slip on the snow on the ground. His pupils dilate as he looks into my eyes, snowflakes gently falling on his long lashes before melting away. I notice his cheeks have a slight crimson red tint to them from the cold weather, and his lips are a blush pink colour.

We don't say anything for a moment. We just stare. I'm scared if I look for any longer, I'll let myself go, fall into his gaze and break. I can feel his minty breath fanning over my face. His eyes scan every feature on my face. He looks at the freckles on my cheeks and nose, he looks down at my lips, then at the strand of hair that is curled in front of my face, as he pulls it away; his cold fingers lightly grazing my forehead as he does so. Then he brings his attention back to my eyes. He's looking at me like that day in the corridors when I almost let myself go. We both take our time to scan every detail "beautiful"

_What?_

We both look at each other in surprise, our mouths slightly agape, as we both just blurted out the same thing. I didn't even notice I said it aloud, and I don't think he did either.

"What?" we both say in unison again.

This is so embarrassing. Maybe I should actually pitch myself off the Astronomy Tower this time. And he just called me beautiful too. Maybe he should join me.

I quickly compose myself, clearing my throat "I'm gonna go now"

"Yep," he looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. I scan his blank expression for a moment before leaving.

Beautiful.

He was so... beautiful.

It was a beauty I'd never seen before. So pure. So simple. Sooner or later, he'll turn back into a beast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy, this chapter was all over the place. I haven't slept properly in weeks so my brain is going crazy. But the next chapters are going to be very important (spice, character development, and plot wise) Especially with the Malfoy Manor and her death eater initiation ceremony. Dw the moment you're all waiting for is right around the corner... 
> 
> The plot twists I have in store for are INSANE. Like you're going to think you know what it may be but ya'll won't have a clue.
> 
> Also, probably lots of spelling/grammar mistakes, I feel like a dead person right now so I'm lazy to look it over.
> 
> What do you think happened to Asya's mom?
> 
> Who is him, and why does he effect Asya so much?


	27. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID

****

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

"You can always come stay with me." Greengrass tugs on the hem of Blaise's shirt

"I know Daph, I just have some important things to do during the break. After that, I'll see you again."

"What important things?" She snaps at him

"Don't worry about it."

She rolls her eyes ."You always do this."

"Daph—"

"How are we supposed to be in a relationship when we can't even be truthful to each other. You always have _'important things'_ but never tell me what they are. It's not fair."

"I know—"

"If you know then why don't you tell me?"

"Because it's not that simple!"

"Don't yell at me! You're the one that's not making it simple!" She storms off, out of the common room.

"Fuck." Blaise mutters under his breath.

"When you gonna tell her?" Theo sits next to Blaise, putting his arm around him.

"I don't know."

"You have to eventually."

"You don't think I fucking know that? I can't. I'm scared shitless that I'm going to lose her. That she won't look at me the same."

"Yeah, she'll be shocked, maybe furious, and I'd love to see her slap you once or twice. But she wouldn't leave you. Right Malfoy?" Theo looks towards me as I'm sitting in the armchair pretending to read the paper. 

"If she leaves you she leaves you. You can have her sister." I sneer as Theo throws his shoe at me.

"No wonder you're single, dickhead. Motivate the bloke."

I sigh, folding up the newspaper. "Okay fine, you want my honest fucking opinion? She says she loves you, yeah? Well, if she _really_ does, it doesn't matter what you do, she'll always come back. She has to. Because when you love someone, everything you do, think and feel is out of your control. You need to tell her sooner or later, otherwise she's going to find you one day in a death eater mask, cloak, and blood on your hands with her jaw dropped, not only having to deal with the fact that you're a death eater but that you've also lied."

"I'll tell her eventually. When the times right." Blaise replies.

_Eventually. Bull fucking shit._

"Fucking idiot." Theo mutters.

"You're one to talk, Nott. You don't have anyone to worry about whether they might get hurt if they found out you were a death eater, now do you?" Theo looks at him, narrowing his eyes, observing him like he's trying to pick out the right words to say before responding back.

"No, I don't suppose I do. But you have a girl who would give up anything for you and you're pushing her away. Let her be there for you, let her heal you. But _nooo_ , you're a pussy who likes to walk around playing the big bad death eater role. Shove off will you, if I had a girl who cared like that for me, I would tell her everything, as long as it meant that I got to see her happy and smiling at the fact that I'm completely truthful to her." Theo gets up and grabs his shoe on the ground from when he threw it at me, storming out of the common room.

"The fuck is wrong with him?" Zane walks into the common room, taking a seat in Theo's spot, right next to Blaise. "Who died? What's with all the faces."

"Nothing. It's fine. I'm hungry, you blokes want some food?" Blaise gets up before Zane pulls him back down.

"Okay seriously, what's wrong?" He pats Blaise's leg. 

He tells him about everything that just happened with Greengrass and Theo. This is exactly why I could never be with someone sensitive like Greengrass. I need someone who understands what I've been through. Who won't break down after finding out I'm a death eater. Who will stay strong and support me. But women and their emotions, always getting in the way of things. I don't have the time or patience for it.

After a couple minutes of their chit-chat, I see Karkaroff walking past the common room. She doesn't look tired but something seems... off. I see her wave at someone, shooting them with a fake smile before immediately wiping it off her face, turning stone cold again. That girls emotions turn off like a light switch. Right after her, I see Montague walking; he's fixing his tie. 

_Why is he fixing his tie?_

_And right when she fucking left._

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

"Hey Asya!" I hear Montague's voice call after me from behind.

"What?" I stop and turn to him. 

"Do you want to come over again later tonight?"

"No. I'm busy." I reply bluntly. I wouldn't have even touched him if my hormones weren't all over the place. It's the potion for sure.

"What about tomorrow?"

"No. When I need you, I'll find you myself, other than that, don't bother me." I walk away before he can even say anything. 

_Fucking idiot._

Apparently, Malfoy didn't threaten him well enough because he melted away at the touch of my fingertips. 

Men; fucking pathetic. They think with their dicks, not their brains.

I don't like anything about Montague, except for one thing. His lack of control. He gives himself up to me too easily. Listens to everything I say; easy to dominate. _He's_ the one begging _me_. And that's how it should me. Control is the only thing I have. Without it, I'm nothing. That's why I won't give into Draco and I's little game. Because he wants to take that control away from me. He wants me to surrender myself. I can't do that. I can't trust anyone enough to give myself up. 

Twenty-four hours passed and I took the new potion. I feel amazing. More like myself. Dead but alive. No _major_ side effects have hit me yet. I don't think. But it works, that's all I know. I can't feel a single thing. No fear. No pain. No guilt. No visions. Nothing. It's all gone again. Just in time so I can focus on my main priorities.

"Karkaroff." I hear another voice from behind me.

_What the hell does he want?_

"Malfoy." I greet him with a fake smile.

"What did Montague want?" He loosens his tie with his finger.

"Why, surprised he disobeyed your orders? Don't be, anyone would disobey your orders as opposed to mine."

"Answer the question." He narrows his eyes at me.

"None of your business." I narrow mine back.

"Everything related to you is my business. This game isn't over, you're mine."

_No I'm not._

"You know, I'm _really_ starting get bored of this _game_. We all know who's going to win in the end. Just give up already." I scoff.

"Yeah Karkaroff, give up already." He grins mischievously at me.

"Oh Malfoy, I don't need this game. I don't need you. But you do. Because without it, you can't satisfy your ego. And you can't satisfy Malfoy Jr. down there. Remember, you started this little revenge plot for what happened at the ball."

"Yeah, when you couldn't handle me and left."

"I couldn't handle you? Nonsense." I lean into whisper in his ear "remember what happened that night?"

"Every detail." He whispers back.

"Use your brain Malfoy, remember what you said that night to me? Maybe that'll give you a clue." I pull away from him.

He tries to understand what I mean before his face turns serious. "Why did you leave me that night?" 

"If I didn't leave, you would have left."

"That's the fucking point, what makes you think you're superior enough to leave _me_." 

"I _am_ superior enough to leave you. I _did_ leave you that night, and clearly it broke your soft heart." I pat his chest but he slaps it away. "I don't have a heart Karkaroff."

"Then me leaving you shouldn't affect you. You shouldn't be trying to take revenge on me."

"What, don't act like it bothers you. You're enjoying this game." He sneers at me.

"It doesn't. You're not important enough to bother me." I smile and brush past him, walking through the corridors to see Potter with his two goons. "Hey Potter!" He turns his attention to me, looking confused. I curl my finger towards me in a come-hither motion, and he does so.

"Karkaroff." He nods. I pull him by his tie, noticing Weasley and Granger walking towards us abruptly "Calm your tits, I'm not going to hurt _'The Chosen One'_. We're just going to a have a friendly one-on-one chit-chat." I turn my gaze back on him "Isn't that right, Potter?"

"Guys I'm fine." He reassures them as I smile at them, shooing them away with my hand before dragging Potter to a secluded corner.

"I'm going to ask you this one time and one time only. Answer correctly and I'll leave you alone. Answer incorrectly and there will be consequences."

He narrows his eyes at me through his glasses, "are you threatening me Karkaroff?"

I smile sweetly at him, "me? Threaten you, the famous Harry Potter. Never." I lean close to his face "It's just a simple warning." He stares at me blankly, unable to process what's going on. "I know what you did." He looks at me confused. "A little birdie told me you used a hidden curse. That true?"

"What?" I see him gulp, as I lean in to whisper in his ear.

"Sectumsempra." He immediately pulls back from me; I can smell how nervous he is.

"I don't know what you're talking about Karkaroff, now if you'll excuse me." He tries to walk away but I pull him by his arm.

"You're not excused."

"I don't know—"

"Shut up, you don't think I know about what you did to Malfoy? I must say though, I'm impressed. Never thought you had it in you to try and kill your own classmate."

He lowers his voice so no one can hear us. "You don't understand."

"Enlighten me."

"It was an accident. And he's a death eater."

I start to laugh. He's actually stupid. There are more death eaters at this school then he thinks. "You're fucking pathetic, do you know that?"

"I know he is, I can prove it. And so is his father."

"What they do is none of your concern. Death eater or not you will mind yourself Potter. You're no fucking better, you almost took a bloody life. You think all of a sudden since your Harry Potter, the boy who lived, you have a fucking free pass? Get over yourself."

"I save innocent lives, people like him take them."

_Innocent lives._

_Innocent._

"And who are you to decide who's innocent and who's not? Are you God? Let me give you a word of advice. No one in this world is innocent. Not you. Not me. Not Malfoy. Not Dumbledore. Not your fucking mummy and daddy. No one."

"Shut up Karkaroff. Of course, you'd protect him, your father was one too, and you probably are as well." I lift my left sleeve and show him my forearm.

"Do you see a mark? No, right?" Not yet anyways. "Do you know what happens to people like you who snoop around, sticking their noses in places they shouldn't be in? They end up digging their own grave. And there's already a special place reserved for you, right next to your parents. A cute little family reunion don't you think?"

He whips his wand out, pointing it at my neck. "Don't talk about my parents, Karkaroff."

I walk up closer to him, resting my head at the tip of his wand. He's not going to do anything, he's all show. "What? You gonna curse me too?"

"Yes."

"Then do it."

He stares at me in disbelief, not expecting me to react this way. "You can't do it can you? Typical fucking Potter." I poke his chest at each word "Weak. Worthless. Coward." His back hits a wall "the only reason you're significant, is because you survived a dark wizard and got that scar as a result. Other than that, you're worthless and you're no fucking different than the rest of us."

"Yeah, and what about you? You think you're greater than everyone?"

"I don't think. I know. Because its the truth. Because unlike you, rather than using my wand as an accessory, I would _actually_ use it." I point my wand at his abdomen, sending a spark of heat to his flesh, giving him a slight searing sensation. He squirms under the touch, looking uncomfortable. "You okay Potter? You look a little uncomfortable."

"Hey! Get away from him." I look over my shoulder to see Weasley and Granger, coming towards us with their wands pointed at me.

"Ah, come to see the show?"

"Put your wand down Karkaroff." Granger scowls at me.

"What? He can have his wand pointed at me but when the tables turn all of a sudden he's innocent." I turn to look back at Potter, digging my wand deeper "are you innocent Potter? Mhmm? Do your friends know about your bad bad behaviour lately?"

I feel the tip of a wand touch my back "Get away." I hear Granger's annoying voice. If I didn't have a crowd, I would hypnotize her to kill Potter for me.

"Put your wand down mudblood." I hear Draco's voice from behind me.

"Don't touch her." Weasley warns him, his wand pointing at Draco.

"Fuck off Weaslebee." He spits back.

"See what you've done now Potter. Caused all this drama for nothing. And you say you're innocent." I mock him. We all stare back and forth at each other, everyone's wands drawn out before we hear someone clearing their throat.

"What. Is. This?" My guardian angel Snape has come to save the day. "Put down your wands right now."

Everyone puts down their wand except for Draco and I; his wand still pointing at Granger and mine pointing at Potter.

"Now." Draco finally puts down his wand but mine is still pointed at Potter. I really want to hurt him. Who does he think he is? Thinking he's superior? Talking to me like that? Almost killing Draco, _my_ enemy, _my_ kill. 

"Karkaroff." Draco puts his hand on my wrist, trying to tug it down, but I resist, staring dead into Potter's eyes.

_Do it Asya._

_Kill the boy who lived._

_Do it._

"Expellliarmus." Snape casts a spell before I can even make a move; my wand dropping to the ground. "You three, leave." He points to the golden trio. Potter and I give each other our final glares before I move back, giving him space to walk away. I turn around to face Snape. "And you two, come with me." He orders Draco and I, as we walk to his classroom. He locks his door and casts a _muffliato_ before he turns to us abruptly "are you both idiots?"

"He had his wand at me first." I argue.

"And Granger had her wand at her."

"I don't care. You will stay out of trouble; you both have more important things to deal with. Sit." He points to the two desks in front of him. Draco and I take a seat, next to each other, while Snape stands above us like a parent talking to two children.

"You both will be going to the Manor in two days. Draco, you will be assigned a new task from the Dark Lord, and Asya, you will have your initiation ceremony. I want no trouble until then. Is that clear?"

"Yes." Draco and I both say in unison.

"Good. You may leave." He nods to Draco before turning to face me. "You've been taking your potion?"

"Yes."

"I can tell, your behaviour is more impulsive. I suppose it's a side effect from the sudden dose change."

"I am _not_ impulsive. I'm just not a weak bitch."

He looks at me raising a brow at my language before I mutter an apology. "Learn to control yourself, or I'll lower the dosage again. You cannot act care free, every step you take you must take with caution. And especially with Potter. Stay away from him."

"He knows your spell." His eyes look at me with slight shock and confusion.

"What?"

"Septumscempra. He knows it. Used it on Malfoy a couple days ago; he knows he's a death eater. Maybe Potter needs to stay away from _us_."

"I'll handle it."

"Yeah, how so? Because he knows about Malfoys involvement with Voldy, he's even suspicious about me, and he knows about your supposedly ' _hidden_ ' curse. How are you going to handle him?"

"Don't question my tactics child, I have been on this Earth longer than you, I know how to do things, and when to do them. You can leave now. Stay out of trouble. Got it?"

"Yes sir." I reply sarcastically before leaving.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"Blaise, hold the other side for me." Theo insisted on braiding my hair, so here I am in the common room, getting my hair pulled and tugged by boys who can't braid for the life of them. I usually don't condone this behaviour, I hate when people touch me, but there's something therapeutic about people playing with my hair.

"Ow! watch it!" I seethe out as they tug on a tangled curl.

"Sorry." they both mumble.

"So you're going to Malfoy's ey?" Blaise says.

_How does he know?_

"Relax, we both know everything that's going to happen over the break. We'll be there too, at the ceremony." He reassures me.

_Right, they're both death eaters._

"Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to find hotter, _this_ version of you, or you when you get inked up wearing all black." Theo says.

"Both." I retort.

He laughs a little before continuing "so now I put the right strand over the middle piece?" He asks me.

"I don't know, I can't see the pieces right now."

"No mate, you put this piece here." Blaise directs him.

"How do you know so much about hair?"

"I used to braid my mums hair, sometimes I braid Daph's too."

Mummy Zabini. Known for her beauty, and seven marriages. All widowed each time. I admire that woman. Because I know that seven marriages, all resulting in deaths, and all of them rich, leaving her with a large fortune; it isn't a coincidence. 

A couple minutes later they finish braiding, "Voila" Blaise passes a mirror to me.

I take a glance at my hair. It actually looks good. "It's good." I say.

"Good?" Theo scoffs, "good? It's bloody amazing."

"Yeah, and I did most of it." Blaise hits his shoulder.

"Shut up Zabini."

"Karkaroff!" I hear a familiar high-pitched voice screeching.

"Uh oh I hear an angry Parkinson." Theo hides behind me before I see her enter the Common Room with her shirt's buttons slightly undone and her hair tousled a bit.

"You." She points at me, storming up. "Come with me."

"Excuse me?" I glower at her.

"Come with me."

"No."

"Parkinson!" I hear Draco's voice, as he storms into the common room, his shirt untucked from his pants. They _definitely_ didn't have a hookup session.

She keeps her wand pointed at me, an amused expression on my face. I could easily snatch it out of her hand with the way she's gripping it. "You did something to him." She lowers her voice at me.

_I did what to him?_

"Huh?" 

"What did you do? Did you put a spell on him or something?"

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about but get your wand out of my face."

"You don't know what I'm talking about? Funny, a lot of people seem to not know a lot of things, isn't that right Draco?" She turns her head over her shoulder, looking at him. Draco's expression is the same, usual cold glare.

"Parkinson, my room, now." He orders her,

"No."

"That's an order."

"Fuck your orders." She spits out. 

_About fucking time she stood up to him._

"Parkinson." He walks up to her, narrowing his eyes to warn her. She looks at me, then at him, before dropping her wand. Draco grips the back of her hair, making her look up at him before whispering "you ever disobey me again, you're dead. _Now_ , you can fuck off." He pushes her away, as she leaves the common room.

"What the hell was that?" Blaise laughs out.

"Nothing. She's just being bitch." Draco fixes his shirt.

"What? Couldn't keep it hard for her?" Theo sneers.

"Fuck off, Nott." He flicks him off.

"He's not denying it. Looks like he really does have erectile dysfunction." Theo and Blaise to snort out loud at my comment, while Draco snaps his head my direction.

"Why don't we test that out, Karkaroff?" He smirks at me.

"Mhmm, how about, no. I have other people who can actually keep it up. Speaking of which, I should get going right now." I get up but he stops in front of me, looking enraged.

"If you want to do _anything_ , you do it with _me_."

 _Nope_.

"You have a little something here." I point at Parkinson's lipstick on the corner of his mouth, before wiping it away with my thumb. He looks down at me in a challenging way, the corner of his lip curling up as I give him the same look. "Get rid of your left overs before trying to get with me." I brush past his shoulder, walking away when I see Willow and DeLaney in the corner, whispering to each other as she shoves something in his hand before he walks away. Willow turns around and sees me, walking towards me " _Heyyy._ "

"What was that?" I refer to what I just saw.

" _That_ was business." 

"So _that's_ why he looked fried the other day."

"Yeppp, been one of my loyal customers for years, even when he was at Ilvermony." She replies proudly.

"You know him well?"

"Not really, he's just a customer, we've had a couple classes together, that's all. He either hangs out with Blaise, Theo and them or keeps to himself. Especially after his parents died."

"His parents died?"

"Yeah, that's why he left Hogwarts. They found their bodies in the Black Lake. Then he disappeared; he stayed with a distant relative or something. Shit fucked him up so much, he can't live off of anything other than my stuff."

"Who were his parents?"

"I have no clue what their names were. What I do know is that they were death eaters, which is why it surprises me how he hasn't slit my muggleborn throat. Malfoy seems to be holding himself back from doing so."

Both of his parents were death eaters... maybe I know them. 

Maybe he's one too.

"I'll see you later, Lovegood and I are going on a date before the break." She wiggles her brows.

"So, its official now?"

"Yep, what can I say, I'm irresistible." She nudges my shoulder before walking away yelling "see you later!"

Zane DeLaney... 

DeLaney, DeLaney, DeLaney.

Why have I never heard that name before? Surely, I would've known his parents if they were both death eaters.

Somethings not right with him. I can sense it. I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to figure _him_ out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little filler chapter for y'all. The next chapters are gonna be in the manor; lots is going to be happening, I'm excited!!!
> 
> Feel free to comment any theories/thoughts you have about anything that's going on in this fanfic so far. I'm interested to read them.


	28. RUNNING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm in my feels today. Did I squeeze out a couple tears while writing this, maybe. It's my hormones, I swear. Anywaysss, enjoy this extra-long and very important chapter my loves :))
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: drugs, abuse, E.D.

****

**I'm in my feels today. Did I squeeze out a couple tears while writing this, _maybe_. It's my hormones, I swear. ** **Anywaysss, enjoy this extra-long and very important chapter my loves :))**

**TRIGGER WARNING: drugs, abuse, E.D.**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

Karkaroff and I are going to the Manor today. I'm a little hesitant, I won't lie. Father doesn't like the idea of her spending the whole break with us, but since it was the Dark Lord's orders, he had no choice but to abide by them. I usually don't like going back home, I only go for my mother's sake. I'm just hoping Karkaroff keeps her mouth shut during this whole trip, otherwise we're going to run into some problems. 

"Ready?" I hear her voice as I look up to see her walking, while levitating a massive bag with what I presume to be either a body or her clothes. She usually keeps her hair out, but today she braided it to the side. She looks _extra_ put-together than usual.

"Have you brought the whole school with you." I glance down at her bag.

"No, just a couple first years." She replies sarcastically, while the corner of her lip curves upwards.

"Hilarious. Let's go, we're going to be late. You already took a lifetime to get ready."

"It takes time to look this good." She raises a brow at me.

"You always look good." She looks at me blankly as I notice what I just let slip out of my mouth and quickly recover "You're you, you don't ever go out without hiding behind the help of hair and makeup."

I've seen her with her natural hair and no makeup. She's just as perfect. If not more.

I hear her hum as a response, not caring too much about what I said. Or maybe she wasn't paying attention. 

We apparate to the train station before finding a compartment and departing. She levitates her bag onto the rack above the seats, taking a seat across from me; always doing things on her own, too stubborn to ask for help. 

She soaks up the early morning sun, beaming through the window, making her dark brown eyes looks like pools of honey. We both sit silently before she gets up and grabs a book from the compartment. I take a quick glance at it; _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_. A muggle children's tale. It's a bit strange she's reading a children's book at her age. Then again, everything about her is strange.

"Would you like anything from the trolly dears?" A high pitched, brittle voice peaks our attention.

"No." I reply bluntly before she turns to Karkaroff, as she replies. "Two chocolate frogs, please." I didn't pick her out to be the type to like chocolate frogs. 

"Chocolate frogs? At this time of the morning." I mock her.

She glares at me for a moment, not responding, before putting them away in her back on the rack, opening her book up to the marked page; her eyes flickering through the words. She bites the inside of her cheek, releasing it, later on squinting her eyes and furrowing her brows like she always does when she reads something. I look away and cross my arms over my chest, leaning back in my seat and closing my eyes. I couldn't sleep last night; I never can. So might as well try to relax my eye strain before I deal with the stress I know I'm about to encounter today.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I read the rest of the time while Draco sleeps. I like it when he's asleep. It's the only way I can fully look at him without him noticing. And it's the only time he's not annoying me. We arrive at our stop and I slightly nudge his arm before he jolts awake, grabbing me violently, pulling me close to him from across the table. 

"Calm down, we're here," I tell him. He releases his grip from me as we grab our stuff and leave the train, walking down the trail that leads to the Manor. I just can't wait to see dear old Lucius Malfoy. I want to see the look on his face once he sees a Karkaroff in his house. We walk through his garden, everything covered in snow, before approaching the door. I conjure a bunch of soft pink tulips before I notice Draco looking at me strangely.

"What are those for?" He asks me, with his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Your mother." The corner of his lip curls up at my response.

"Trying to impress her?" He sneers.

"It's respectful Malfoy. Afterall I _am_ staying at her house. Besides, she's a woman, women appreciate affection. And I doubt Malfoy men are very affectionate."

I hear him let out a heavy sigh before responding. "Just when I thought that big mouth of yours finally sealed shut, I was wrong. Don't talk this much when we get inside or you'll go back to Hogwarts with a cut off tongue."

I turn to say something to him when the door suddenly opens and we're met with a woman. From the looks of it, I presume she's Draco's mother. Compared to his father, I've only seen her once or twice at my annual ball, so I'm not quite familiar with her. She's wearing a long black dress, covered modestly with a black, floor length coat. Half of her dark hair is pinned back; white blonde strands peaking from beneath. 

"Thank Merlin, you've arrived safely. Please, come in." She steps aside, and we walk in. The manor is nicer than I expected. I thought it would be depressing. It is, but with an aesthetically pleasing touch to it. My manor was like a literal prison. My father liked to preserve his victims' body parts and turn them into art; he had in interest for human taxidermy. Eating at the dining table with a head hung on the wall was never an enjoyable sight to see.

"My darling" She pulls Draco into a hug, embracing him tightly. Draco hesitates for a moment before returning the embrace, closing his eyes for a moment to take it all in. He's quite taller than her, so it looks awkward at first glance. But by his softened facial expression, I can tell it doesn't feel awkward. She kisses him on the cheek before turning to me with a smile. 

"These are for you Mrs. Malfoy." I return a sincere smile, handing the tulips to her. 

"How kind of you, they're beautiful, thank you." She smiles gratefully, taking the flowers and smelling them "And please, call me Narcissa." I nod at her comment. "Tilly! Tibby!" She calls out, and two tiny, frail house elves come out of the corner. "Tilly, put these in a vase right by the window for me please." She hands the flowers to one elf. "And Tibby, please takes these bags upstairs." 

"Yes Miss." They say in unison, walking away. 

Narcissa takes me by my hands and looks at me "If you need anything, just let one of the elves know. Draco, why don't you show her around the Manor"

Draco nods at her mother and walks away, expecting me to follow him.

_Prick._

We walk around the Manor; I can't help but notice the paintings watching us. I don't like being watched. Especially when it's in the Manor. He doesn't show me the entire place, just a quick glance through. I'll have to snoop around myself later. We walk in silence, making our way up the long flight of stairs, "You look more like your father." I blurt out to break the awkward silence. 

"Don't say that." He snaps at me, still looking ahead. 

"Why I was just—"

"Can you just be quiet for once?" He stops and looks at me.

"Can you just stop being a dick for once?" I look back at him.

He lets out a big exhale and continues to walk, running his hands through his hair as we approach a room. "This is where you'll be staying." I take a quick glance. It's the definition of luxury. The walls are a burgundy colour, contrasting with the silver accessories in the room. There is a massive, king sized bed, covered in black silk bedding, with a couple throw on pillows. And there's a vanity with a red velvet bench too.

"You just going to stand there?" He scowls at me.

"I'm observing." I say, walking into the room.

"Well, there's not much to observe, this is the smallest bedroom in the Manor."

" _This_ is the smallest?"

"I have the biggest. I can show you if you'd like." He smirks mischievously.

"Goodbye Malfoy." I shut the door in his face, before unpacking my things. It's really quiet in the manor. Too quiet. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm always used to hearing noises; yelling, laughing, screaming. The silence is _different_.

I was informed by the house elf that dinner would be at six. So, I took a long nap for majority of the time and took a warm shower, before getting ready. Before I leave my room I hear a knock on my door. I open my door to see Draco, standing there in a black dress shirt, its sleeves folded up, and black pants, while looking over the white dress I'm wearing. "Ready?" He asks me.

"I don't expect to be chaperoned." I look up at him with a neutral expression on my face.

"You'll want to stay by my side, for your own sake." He says, as we both walk downstairs to the dining room. 

Narcissa is sitting at one end of the dining table, her eyes gleaming at the sight of us, "have a seat my dears. Dinner will be served shortly once Lucius arrives." She says, signalling her hand to our seats. We take a seat next to each other, not speaking a word. "Asya my dear, how are you liking Hogwarts?"

"It's good. Definitely different from Durmstrang but I'm quite liking it." I give her a brief response.

"I'm glad. I suppose you've made some friends as well since you arrived? I hope Draco welcomed you properly. I know he can be a bit harsh sometimes, especially with new students."

_Oh, he welcomed me alright._

"Not at all, he was _very_ welcoming. Made me feel right at home." I reply sarcastically before I hear Draco clearing his throat, seeing him grip tightly onto a glass of water, before drinking it.

"I'm glad." She fixes the napkin on her lap when a throat clearing sound peaks our attention. "Lucius dear." I turn slightly to see Lucius Malfoy standing behind us, looking at Narcissa, then at Draco, not even making eye contact with me, before he takes a seat at the other end of the table, across from Narcissa.

The house elf comes into the dining room, serving our food before leaving. This is the most awkward dinner I've ever had. I think I might just burst out laughing. Everyone seems so tense. I guess I know where Draco gets it from. The house elf comes back to refill our drinks before accidentally spilling red wine on my white dress. Lucius gets up abruptly.

"Lucius." Narcissa tries to intervene but Lucius slaps the elf across the face.

"F-f-forig-give me m-mas-ster." The house elf bows down in shame and fear.

"Silence! Clean up this mess!"

"Y-y-es m-master" 

"No need, I can manage myself." I interrupt.

"I insist m-miss." The elf looks at my shoes. 

"I have two hands, I can clean it myself, thank you." 

"No, _it_ will clean it." Lucius argues, looking down at me with daring eyes. 

"No, _I_ will." I argue back before feeling Draco's hand grip my thigh in attempt to stop me from saying anything more.

"This is _my_ house, what I say goes."

"This is _my_ dress, what spills on me, I clean myself." I dismiss the elf and cast _Scourgify,_ before taking a sip of my drink and acting like nothing happened.

"Karkaroff you will abide by my rules as long as you are under my roof. House elves are servants, they serve." He seethes out.

"They are also living things, much like you and I. How would you like to be beat, tortured and criticized by your _master_? Oh wait, you're already familiar with that." I nod at the scars on his hands—clearly from Voldy, before taking another longer sip from my wine, looking straight at him. Both his hands are curled into fists on the table before cutting into his steak furiously.

"The Dark Lord doesn't like big mouths, perhaps he'll deal with yours." 

"He hasn't dealt with yours yet, so you might have to deal with mine for a little longer." He glares at me evilly. He looks like he's actually going to murder me.

_Fucking hilarious._

"Karkaroff." I hear Draco whisper lowly as I take a bite from my own steak.

I ignore him and finish chewing before speaking again. "The foods great." 

"Indeed." Lucius takes a bite out of his, we both look each other dead in the eye.

"Lucius dear, how was your day?" Narcissa tries to break the tension.

"The same." He gives a blunt reply while still staring at me "Tell me Karkaroff, have you healed since the last time we saw each other?" He hints at me.

_Motherfucker._

Draco and Narcissa stop eating, both staring at me while Lucius and I are having a literal staring contest.

"All better. Like nothing even happened." I smile at him.

"Peculiar isn't it? What _magic_ can do?"

"Mhmm." I hum, taking another sip from my wine. "If you'll excuse me, I'm quite exhausted from today's departure." Lucius signals his hand towards the door, allowing me to leave. I wipe the corners of my mouth with a napkin before getting up, "dinner was amazing, thank you." I nod at Narcissa and leave to my room.

_Apple doesn't fall far from the tree._

A few minutes later my door flies open as Draco storms into my room, shutting the door. 

"What the fuck was that?!" He whisper yells at me to avoid people from hearing.

"What the fuck was what?" I look at him from the bench in front of the vanity, as I brush through my hair. 

"I told you to do one thing Karkaroff. Keep your mouth shut."

"And I did, up until your father pissed me off." I put my brush down on the vanity, turning in my seat, to face him completely.

"I don't care if you get pissed off. The Dark Lord wants you unharmed and alive at the ceremony. If you keep talking, you won't be." He warns me.

"You Malfoy men are quite conceited, aren't you? If your father, or anyone else tries to even touch a strand of hair on my head, I will kill them. Understand?"

He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth before responding, "Karkaroff, you're making things really difficult—"

"I'm not making anything difficult. Remember what I said when I first came to Hogwarts? Provoke me and I'll provoke you. I meant it."

"Yeah? And I mean it when I say this. Shut the fuck up and mind your business or there will be consequences." He turns to leave, grabbing the door handle before I speak up again.

"I feel bad for your mother. You're just like your father; I can't imagine having to deal with the both of you for so many years." He freezes, with his back turned to me. I can hear him take in a deep breath before letting it out. He's trying to stay calm but I can guarantee he's debating on whether to kill me or ignore me.

_Awww._

"You can leave now." I dismiss him.

"I don't need your dismissal; I was already leaving." He says sternly, before leaving my room.

Three weeks. 

Three weeks in this Manor. 

Someone's going to die by the end of this, I just know it.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's been a week since I came to Manor. I've been avoiding everyone. I don't want to see anyone's face; I feel my blood boil at the thought of it. I've been in my room every day, not going downstairs. I refuse to even eat at the same table as them. I don't mind Narcissa. But Draco and his father; I can't take it anymore. After the first day, I would get a knock on my door day and night, with food being left in front of it. I'm surprised they're not starving me. Though I've had to cast poison detector charms each time to ensure the food I'm eating is safe. They even make my favourite tea. Apple cinnamon. I drink it every morning; helps with balancing my hormones since I have a hormonal disorder. 

Today's my birthday. I hate it. I never celebrated my birthday; it was never a day I or anyone else acknowledged. I never liked birthdays, never saw the big deal in them either. Every day I'm getting older, more responsibilities are stacked on me, more expectations—nothing to look forward to. 

We just live to die.

I take out a joint and go out on the balcony with a plush, grey blanket around me. Taking a seat on the cold marble ground, I use my wand to light up the joint before inhaling it in, letting the smoke fill my lungs. It's dark out but I can still see the garden. It's perfect. Everything so symmetrical—the cut of the grass, the maze-like trail, the rows of flowers. So satisfying to look at. I wonder what everyone else is doing right now. Theo, Blaise, Willow, Daphne. Even fucking Parkinson. 

What's Draco doing?

Did he eat?

_Shut up Asya._

He can starve.

I don't care. 

He's so confusing. I can't understand him. I've spent months trying to. Nothing. I know he's weak, I know he has vulnerabilities. But he hides them so well, he gives me barely anything to use against him. Sometimes he's mad. Sometimes he's calm. The problem about all of this, is that I'm exactly the same. Our personalities are so aligned, we clash. Sometimes I wonder how he'd treat me if I were more vulnerable. More emotional. He'd easily manipulate me, that's for sure. That's why I bother him so much. Because I don't react, I don't budge, I don't let myself fall. He only wants me because he can't have me. And it's going to stay that way. 

I look to the left and notice the lights in Draco's room are turned off. He's probably sleeping. But then again, he doesn't seem like the type to sleep at this time of the night. Maybe he's out. 

_I don't care._

I take a few more drags from my joint until I burn it out and put it away, coming back to sit on the balcony with the same book from on the train; _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_. It's a children's classic in the muggle world. But I love it; one of my favourites that I've read over and over again throughout the years. It comes off as an adventurous, whimsical tale, but it's quite dark in origin. After reading a couple chapters, I hear a loud slamming noise from inside, when I turn to the left and notice Draco's light is open. The noise came from his door, as he slammed it shut, throwing his black blazer on the ground aggressively.

_What the hell is wrong with him?_

I squint my eyes a bit to get a clearer view. He pulls out a bottle of what I'm guessing to be alcohol, from under his bed, taking a long swig, and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before taking his black collared shirt off, throwing it on the ground, revealing a white tank top. He comes outside on his balcony with the bottle, taking another long sip, and sitting on the ground, his arms resting on his bent knees with his feet on the cold marble tiles. He just sits and stares out blankly at the dark sky, tipping the large glass bottle into his mouth a couple times, letting the burning feeling sink in. Like he wants to feel the horrible sensation of the poison streaming through his throat. 

The more I focus, I notice a large bruise on his shoulder, rather fresh looking. Then another on his back, peaking through his tank top. 

_Who did he fight now?_

I'm starting to notice a pattern. Every time he drinks alone, he has bruises or cuts, or _something_. Then again, he's him so I'm not surprised. He can't stay out of trouble for the life of him. Does he enjoy fighting though? The pain he inflicts? The pain others inflict on him? That's the only explanation I can find as to why he's always bruised up, drinking. 

Broken boy. 

_It's pathetic._

But so relatable. 

"Karkaroff." I hear him slur my name as I bring myself out of my thoughts, to see him looking at me from his balcony. We're both sitting in the same position, staring at one another. I don't say anything. I just watch him. "Are you not going to answer me?"

"You didn't ask a question." I respond bluntly.

 _"You didn't ask a question."_ He mimics my voice.

_Annoying prick._

I place a book mark in my book to save the page I was on, before closing it and getting up to leave. 

"Leaving so soon?" I freeze in my spot, looking at the glass door that leads to my room. "When I told you to shut the fuck up I didn't think you'd take it so literally. Speak when spoken to, Karkaroff."

"I'm going to bed." I keep my tone neutral.

"Or you're running away again."

I turn to look at him and see he's already looking at me, walking to the end of his balcony, closer to my side; only a railing splitting us apart. 

"Running away? And what would I be running away from?" I narrow my eyes at him

"I don't know, you tell me." He shrugs, taking another drink from the bottle.

"I'm too tired to be playing Blue's clues right now." I sigh. 

"Blue's clues?" He furrows his brows.

"Never mind." I roll my eyes, turning away from him.

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

I turn back to him, rolling them again but exaggerating it this time. 

He clenches his jaw, but I notice a slight look of amusement on his face. "You and your fucking attitude. It drives me crazy do you know that?"

"That's my intention Malfoy." I smile at him, turning away again only to be stopped once more.

"Feelings." I hear his deep voice rasp out.

"What?" I keep my gaze fixed at my room through the glass door, not daring to look at him.

"You're running away from feelings."

"You're drunk and emotional, go watch a depressing film or something." I scoff.

"I'm not emotional. I'm just speaking the truth. And the truth is, that you are not as strong as you want everyone to see you as."

"You know nothing about me."

"Maybe... But I've picked up on a few things over these past couple of months. You choose to run away from everything, rather than facing it because you're scared of what will happen if you stay."

_Bullshit._

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

"It's the wisest thing that's ever come out of my mouth. And you know I'm right." I can feel him smirking right now.

"No, you're wrong, like always."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then why aren't you looking at me right now?"

_Because if I look at you, I don't think I can stop._

"Because I don't want to look at you right now."

"You don't want to, or you're scared of what'll happen if you do?"

I turn to face him, when his drunken eyes pierce straight through my soul, taking my breath away. "There, I'm looking at you. Happy?"

"Very." He lifts his drink up at me, taking a sip. "I haven't seen that face of yours in a week."

_I haven't seen you in a week._

"You gonna say something?" He tilts his head at me, trying to read me.

"It's late. And now that you've gotten to see my face, I'll be leaving." I turn to leave before I hear whistling. 

A melodic whistling. 

_No._

He's whistling _Happy Birthday_.

And at that moment, as much as I hated it, I felt my heart jump through my chest.

I look over my shoulder as he finishes whistling, but he's gone. He left. His curtains closed and lights out. 

He disappeared. And for the first time in my life, someone left me speechless. _He_ left me feeling speechless, and completely consumed by a feeling I can't put my finger on. 

He made me _feel_. 

Before it all came crashing down.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I went out on the balcony again today, hoping I'd see her. But I didn't. I haven't seen her since that night a couple days ago. 

Every night I sat on the floor outside on the balcony, drinking, and waiting, so that maybe I could see her face for just one moment. One moment is all I need to supress myself. 

Why won't she see me?

Was it something I said?

Something I did?

_Because she doesn't want to see you Draco._

Of course, why would she? She hates me. 

And I hate her. 

I have to hate her. 

It'll make everything easier.

I go the bathroom and apply some Bruisewort Balm in front of the mirror on my bruises from a couple days ago. Father hasn't been on good terms with the Dark Lord lately, and with Karkaroff in the Manor, he took his anger out on me during one of our practice lessons. Every now and then, especially when I'm at home, he likes to give me duelling lessons, just in case. But it's just an excuse for the both of us to channel all our rage out. 

He fights me like I'm not his son, but his enemy. And I do the same. Because he has raised me to see him as one. The only reason I haven't killed him is because of my mother. Because even though he's cruel in my eyes, in the eyes of my mother, he's the love of her life, and she is his. They have a soft spot for each other. I can see that. He looks at her like he's never looked at anyone before, not even me. He's always been by her side. Through her night terrors, her panic attacks, through everything. And so even though I hate my father with everything I have, I can never _fully_ hate him. 

I go downstairs and see the elves preparing breakfast, before putting it on a tray to bring up to Karkaroff.

"Tilly?" I bring its attention to me. 

"Yes master." She turns to me, not looking at my eyes.

"Did you make the apple cinnamon tea?"

"Yes Master, it's on the tray." I look over to see it filled to the rim in a black mug.

"Very well, you may leave." She bows her head down and takes the tray with her, leaving upstairs.

I make sure that Tilly makes apple cinnamon tea every morning for Karkaroff. She drank it every morning in the Great Hall. So, I'm assuming it's her favourite tea. I've even grown a liking to it. 

Bloody insane.

It's like everything she does, her likings, her habits, _everything_ , I've started to adopt. 

I found one of her black hair ties lying on the floor a couple days ago and put it on my wrist. I haven't taken it off ever since; I've been fidgeting with it non-stop like she does. It really _is_ calming, especially when I'm angry or anxious.

This girl is changing me in ways I'm not sure I like. 

I need it to stop.

"Draco!" I hear my mother's voice call out from the dining room. 

"Coming!" I call back, walking inside and taking a seat across from her.

"She's not joining us again?" She peeks up a brow, taking a sip from her tea.

"No." I respond bluntly, biting into a piece of toast.

"It's all your father's fault. I told him to control his anger when she arrives and he does the complete opposite." She sighs.

"Yeah, well she was asking for it."

" _She_ was being a respectful young lady, but your father put on his _'I am better than everyone'_ face again."

"Mhmm." I hum in response. "He's not here?"

"I'm afraid not. He had some last-minute things to do. He'll be gone for a few days."

We sit in silence, eating our breakfast for a few minutes before she starts speaking again. "Perhaps you should go check up on her. See if she's alright, if she needs anything."

"I can assure you she's fine." I focus on my plate.

"How do you know?"

"I just do. She's independent, she doesn't need anyone checking up on her."

"You're making assumptions. It's not a good habit."

"It's not an assumption. I know her well enough to know she doesn't want to see me. Or anyone in that matter." I take a sip of my tea before continuing. "Besides, I saw her a couple days ago on the balcony. She looked fine."

"Sometimes people can look fine when they actually aren't." I don't respond, as I go to pick up my fork before my mother starts sighing over exaggeratedly. 

I ignore it, taking a bite out of my eggs before I hear another loud sigh. 

She's doing this on purpose. She always does this when she wants me to do something.

She sighs again before I drop my fork on my plate, wiping the corners of my mouth with a napkin and getting up. "Fine, I'll check on her."

"I love you." She sends me an air kiss as I walk out of the dining room, making my way upstairs. I turn the corner to her room and notice the tray left in front of her door is still there, filled with food. She hasn't touched anything.

_Maybe she doesn't want it?_

_Maybe she's not hungry?_

_Maybe she's still sleeping?_

I knock on her door but I don't get an answer. I knock again, still no answer. I put my ear on the door in hopes that I'll hear something that'll tell me she's present. Nothing. 

"Karkaroff." I knock the door again. "Karkaroff, if you don't answer me right now, I'm coming in."

She doesn't answer.

I turn the silver door knob but the door is locked, so I cast _Alohamora_ , walking into her room. The window is open, as the sheer white curtains flow with the cold winter breeze. I go to shut the window and notice her bed isn't made. She's a perfectionist, usually doesn't like keeping her room messy from what I've noticed the couple times I've been in her dorm, so this is unusual.

"Karkaroff?" I call out, but don't get a reply. Then, I hear a coughing sound coming from her bathroom. I knock on the door but she doesn't answer, so I open it slowly.

She's there. 

Laying on the ground over the toilet bowl in her white, silk night gown, holding her hair back with her fingers down her throat before she hears the door hit the wall, turning to look up at me with a shocked expression on her face. She looks sickly pale, her lips are slightly chapped and her under eyes are darkened, like she hasn't slept in ages. 

"Get out!" She yells at me. She _never_ yells at me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I scowl at her.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing? Get out!" She tries to shut the door with her foot, but I hold it.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me why you have your fingers down your throat in front of the loo, instead of eating your breakfast."

"My throat was just a bit itchy, thought I'd give it a scratch." She replies sarcastically.

She's still stubborn even when she's sick.

"You're throwing up."

"No shit. I'm sick."

She's lucky she's sick otherwise I would've ruined her for talking to me like this.

"I can tell."

"Yes well, now that you know, you can leave." She shoos her hand over to the door.

"You're throwing up and you want me to leave?"

"What? Do you get turned on from watching people throw up?"

"Fuck off with the attitude. I'm trying to help."

"You wanna help?" She raises a brow at me. "Fine. Hold my hair back."

"What?"

"Are you dense? My hair, hold it back, it's hard for me to throw up and hold my hair at the same time."

I don't say anything and go behind her, taking all of her hair and holding her curls back from her face. Even after she just woke up, her hair is still so soft. She leans down and puts her fingers in her throat, trying to throw up again. I look away, but I hear her gags as the bile rises in her throat. 

I'm holding Karkaroff's hair while she throws up in her bathroom. 

_Me_ , Draco Malfoy.

Never would I have thought _this_ was how I'd be holding her hair.

After a few more minutes of catching her breath to throw up again, she stops, panting from exhaustion. "Pass me a towel."

I take a face cloth from the towel rack, passing it to her before moving my hand away "I'm not in the mood to play games, just pass me the towel." She scowls at me.

"What do you say when asking for something?"

She looks at me confused, before rolling her eyes in realization. "Please."

I hand her the towel with a smug expression on my face. 

I will definitely be replaying that in my head. It's probably the closest thing I'll have to her begging.

As she wipes her mouth, she closes the toilet seat, flushing it, and gets up from the ground, holding onto the sink for support. I notice her arm shaking, her grip on the sink becoming desperate, like she's going to fall, so I take a hold of her arm with one hand, while the other rests on her shoulder. 

"I'm fine." She raises her hand at me.

"You were going to fall."

"I can get up."

_I know you can._

"But nothing would support your fall, you'd break something." I tell her.

"It'll heal." She snaps.

_Mine don't._

"Not all wounds fully heal, you suffer from them in the long-term." 

"Then let me suffer."

"What if I don't want you to suffer?" I tighten my hold on her, looking down at her to notice her jaw clenching.

She looks at me from the mirror, "what if I want to suffer?" She says in a soft tone.

At this point, I don't know if we're talking about injuries or something else. We stare at each other through the mirror for a couple seconds before she shrugs my arms off of her, leaning over the sink to brush her teeth. We both just stare at each other from the mirror, both too stubborn to break our gaze. After rinsing her mouth out and washing her face, she takes a towel and pats it on her delicate skin before placing it back on the sink, turning to face me.

"What do you want?" She asks me.

_What does she mean by that?_

"What?"

"You clearly want something if you're still standing here. Come on, spit it out."

I look at her confused. I'm not sure what she means. Am I supposed to want something from her? Am I not allowed to be here for her? To look at her?

"Look, if you're going to want something from me for helping me out earlier, forget it. I've helped heal you countless times, this'll pay for your debts to me." 

_Debts?_

Is that what she thinks? That I helped her to hold her indebted to me?

Clearly that's what she does.

"Then I'm glad my debts have been paid off, Karkaroff." I say bluntly. She stares up at me with a neutral expression, before narrowing her eyes at me like she's trying to read through my intentions. I take her in once last time, given that she doesn't come out of her room, before getting out of the bathroom, walking towards her door. 

"I'll have the elves prepare your breakfast again. It's probably cold." I say, before leaving her room. 

_Stupid Draco._

_Fucking stupid._

_Did you really think she'd believe you were actually trying to help her?_

_"This'll pay for your debts to me."_

All this time, she's been helping me, not because she cared. But because she wanted me to owe her. She wanted to hold it against me. And she expected me to do the same.

It's my fucking fault for helping her. I should have left her there on the floor. 

I should have let her fall. 

I should have never bought apple cinnamon tea for her.

I should have never thought that for a second, things would be different. That we could act normal and civil. Because that can't happen. That won't happen. She's a Karkaroff and I'm a Malfoy. She's only here for her initiation ceremony. Nothing more. 

It will never be anything more than that. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I woke up this morning to another plate of breakfast. And another mug of apple cinnamon tea. But no sign of Draco. I still can't believe he saw me like that yesterday. 

_Fucking embarrassing._

I took some of Willow's pills, hoping that it would give me a good high. Afterall, I've been stuck in this room for what feel like an eternity. I can't sleep all day, and I don't want to read anymore. Turns out, this new potion, and the pills, don't mix well. 

If you had told me a few months ago that I would be high almost every day, I would laugh at your face. But now, it's different. The potion numbs me, but the pills give me a fake sense of happiness. It gives me something to hold onto. I don't do it every day. But recently, out of boredom, they've been a part of my daily regimen. Not anymore, I can't deal with throwing up again. Reminds me of the state I was in a few years ago. So, I'll just have to resort back to smoking.

I'm back on the balcony today, after days of avoiding him.

_Why?_

I don't know.

_"You're running away from feelings."_

_"You choose to run away from everything, rather than facing it because you're scared of what will happen if you stay."  
_

Lies. 

Fucking lies. He just said all that to get in my head.

I'm not running away from my feelings. I can't run away from something that doesn't exist.

I just didn't want to see him, that's all. 

_"What if I don't want you to suffer?"_

Those words have been playing in my head over and over again day and night. Why wouldn't he want me to suffer? We've both been trying to make each other suffer for months.

_He was just using it as an example Asya._

An example. Just an example.

Was it just an example?

Because everything I said to him was outside of the example. 

No, they were subliminal messages. 

But they were lies. All a part of this game.

I hate myself for even thinking about this. For thinking about him. What is wrong with me? How stupid, how _weak_ can I be to let him get to me like this? I'm taking the potion and everything. This shouldn't be happening.

It isn't happening. I'm just overthinking things. Staying between four walls for almost two weeks, its normal for me to be feeling this way. But I should know how to endure it, after all, I've spent weeks trapped in a dungeon before. 

_You're overthinking Asya._

_Overthinkers are weak._

_Don't overthink._

Don't overthink. I have nothing to overthink about. Perfectly fine. Everything is perfectly fine. 

I'm only here for my initiation ceremony. Nothing more.

It will never be anything more than that. 

I inhale the smoke from my joint, wrapping myself tightly in my blanket. It's _extra_ cold tonight. I like it. I don't see the perfectly tamed garden today. It's all covered in snow. The snow falls heavy tonight. I reach my hand out from the railing on the balcony, letting the soft snow leave cold kisses on my palm. I don't see any stars; they hide behind the darkness of the clouds. 

I hear the sound of a door sliding open. _His_ door sliding open. He's outside tonight, on his balcony. I don't look his direction. But I don't _'run'_ either. Just minding my business, smoking a joint and relaxing. That's it. 

I don't say anything. I can't say the first word. If he wants to talk, he'll have to speak up first.

_But maybe I should..._

Who said I wanted to talk to him?

I'm not out here for him, I'm out here for me. 

The next ten minutes go by with silence as his scent lingers the cool air; only the sound of the howling wind, the burning sound of my joint and—

 _SNAP_.

_What is that noise?_

I'm hearing things. Yep, I knew smoking this late at night would cause me issues eventually.

SNAP.

Okay I'm not hearing things. 

SNAP.

What the hell _is_ that?

I look around for a moment before I hear the noise again, coming from my left. Looking over, I see Draco. And he's snapping a black hair tie on his wrist.

 _My_ black hair tie.

Why does he have my hair tie?! How does he have my hair tie?!

Does he even know it's mine?

He snaps it again, just like how I do whenever I'm bored, angry, nervous, or stressed. 

"Like the view Karkaroff?" He keeps his eyes staring ahead.

"Why do you have my hair tie?" I ask him with a calm tone.

He stops snapping the hair tie on his wrist once he notices what he's doing. "What are you talking about?"

"That's my hair tie you keep snapping on your wrist."

He turns his head to face me. "Do you want it back?" He asks me, with a cold expression on his face, but his eyes don't show me that same cold expression. No. His eyes show me something else. His eyes show me despair. Sorrow. Need. 

"No." I tell him, giving him the same cold expression.

"Good. I wasn't planning on giving it to you anyway."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"I wanted to hear your response."

"Well, are you satisfied with my response?"

"Very."

We both turn away, looking straight ahead before I hear him snapping the hair tie again. I decide to speak first this time. "I do that too—snap the hair tie against my wrist I mean."

"I know."

_What?_

"I've seen you do it a couple times." He continues. "It's fucking annoying."

_Bipolar idiot._

"Yeah well, it's fucking annoying right now." I scowl at him.

"Well, that's too bad, deal with it." He retorts.

"I don't have to deal with it."

"And I don't have to deal with _you_."

_Who would?_

"You don't have to deal with _me_." I look at him but he still stares straight ahead.

"I know." 

"Then stop."

"I don't want to stop."

"Why not? No one's forcing you to _deal with me_."

"No one has to force me. I deal with you willingly. I will _always_ deal with you willingly." He turns to look at me. His eyes searching mine for any glint of emotion.

_I will always deal with you willingly._

Another cluster of his words that I won't be able to understand, nor will I be able to get out of my head.

_Why?_

No, shut up. 

I don't want him to say anything else. 

I don't want him to talk. 

I want him to leave. 

_Please leave._

"Ask me." He speaks up.

Shut up.

"Ask me why Karkaroff."

I stay silent. I won't let him get to me. He's manipulating me.

He starts chuckling lowly, "you won't. Because you're scared."

_I'm not scared._

"You're scared you already know the answer. Scared it might be true.

_I'm not scared._

"But don't won't worry Karkaroff. I'll leave your mind at ease. I won't say it."

Please say it.

_No, don't say it._

"Not until you ask me why."

_Why?_

"Until then, I won't say a word."

I close my eyes, taking a silent deep breath before I hear his door sliding open, and closing shut, as I open my eyes at the same time, releasing a heavy, painful exhale. 

I feel like shit. Every time I'm with him. Every time I hear him. Touch him. Smell him. I feel like utter shit. Because it feels so good; he makes me feel so good without even having to try. And I hate myself for it. I hate it. I hate myself. I'm fucking stupid. He's using me. I know he is. I'm stupid. 

I know it's wrong. I know all of this is wrong. But why does it have to feel so right?

It can't feel right. I won't allow myself to let it feel right. 

_"You're running away from feelings."_

No. I'm not running away. I won't run away. There is nothing to run away from. I won't sit around like a pathetic bitch. I will act like everything is alright. Because it is alright. I am perfectly fine. And no one can change that. Not him, not anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleaseeeee, why did this chapter make me cry like two different times? I'm sniffling at six in the morning. Anywayssss, lots going on in this extra-long chapter. I really hope y'all liked it because I genuinely poured my heart out in this chapter. Asya's character is really important to me because a lot of her beliefs, feelings and experiences, are my beliefs, feelings and experiences. 
> 
> Also, I'm going to be writing longer chapters like this one for while we're at the Manor because a lot is going to happen and I don't want to split them up into a bunch of separate chapters cuz that'll be a lot of chapters.
> 
> We met Cissy and Daddy Malfoy today, how y'all feel?
> 
> If there are spelling/grammar mistakes, just put on a blindfold and pretend you didn't see them (though I wouldn't mind if you pointed it out). I stayed up writing this chapter from 11:30 at night until 6, so I'm a little brain dead.
> 
> What is going on with Asya and Draco?
> 
> And when they gonna do the deed? It's taking them so long 🙄


	29. CONTROL

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Today I decided to do something different. I'm leaving my room to eat breakfast in the dining room. I'm not running away, and this'll prove that. I _do_ hope Draco's father isn't there. But then again, I wouldn't mind bickering with him a little. I've missed the drama. 

I walk downstairs, bringing my tray of food, to see Draco and his mother eating breakfast at the table. They don't notice me until the fork on my tray slides, hitting the plate, both looking up at me with slightly bewildered expressions. 

"Asya my dear, did you need something?" She gently wipes her mouth with a napkin.

"I was just coming to eat in here if that's alright."

"Of course it is. Please, have a seat." She gestures to the table. I take a seat across from Draco, placing the tray in front of me. Draco keeps his gaze down on the plate, but I can see him holding back a smirk. "Lucius won't be here for a few days, you can walk around without having to worry about him. I know he can be a bit... too much sometimes. Just do your best to ignore him." 

_A bit?_

I nod, smiling at her before taking a sip from my tea. I'm not worried about him. He just annoys me. Him and his subliminal messages. 

"Do you like it Karkaroff?" I hear Draco's voice, seeing his eyes look up from his plate. "The tea?"

"Yeah, it's _okay_." 

"It's _okay_." He repeats my words, nodding his head, intrigued by my dry response.

"Draco seems to be liking it, considering the fact that he bought it in bulk." Narcissa raises a brow. "Draco darling, pass me the salt, will you?" Narcissa points to the salt next to me. I hand it to Draco to give to her. Our fingers brush against one another's for a brief moment, causing us to look up at each other, before he hands the salt to his mother.

"Shouldn't you be refraining from salt? It's bad for your blood pressure." Draco pesters his mother.

"Don't worry, the foods a bit bland, I need some _flavour_." She shakes the salt onto her food while looking up at the both of us. "Asya dear, Severus will be visiting the Manor later this evening. He would like to meet with you."

_Awww, does he miss me?_

"Did he mention why?" I ask her. It's probably about the ceremony. 

"No, he just said he wanted to discuss some things with you."

"I have some things to do today. I'll be back late, if you need something, you know what to do." Draco says to his mother before he wipes his mouth and gets up from his seat to leave.

"Draco? Aren't you forgetting something?" He stops and turns around to see Narcissa tapping her left cheek with her finger, signalling him to give her a kiss. He hesitates, tilting his head pleadingly before giving in, kissing her on the cheek and leaving. 

"So Asya, your ceremony is soon. Are you nervous?" 

_Well, she's straight forward._

"No, not at all."

"It's okay to be nervous my dear, it's not exactly normal for a girl your age to be put into a position like this. Draco wasn't very fond of his initiation ceremony."

_He's weak, that's why._

"He was sixteen when he first joined. He had night terrors for the first couple months. _That_ , I remember very vividly. Then it all went away. He was always a very closed off boy but after those first few months passed, he changed. Perhaps it was the realization that he no longer could be a boy, but had to be a man, as his father would say."

I finish eating, placing my utensils on my plate before responding. "Perhaps. Sometimes when you're forced to grow up at a young age, you just have to learn to deal with it."

Her eyes spark at my remark. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

After breakfast, I decide to do some snooping around. Afterall, Draco didn't give me a _full_ tour of the Manor. I walk past the paintings slowly, to observe them, moving side to side to see if the eyes will follow me. 

They do.

I hate it.

I walk through the dim corridors, and notice two grand doors, embellished in silver. Pulling the door open, I see books. Everywhere. All classics, stacked in black shelves, with a fireplace, two velvet green arm chairs, a small round table, and a spiral staircase leading to a floor filled with more books. I love it. Definitely will be spending a lot of time in here... I scan through the books, surprised to see that they're all muggle books. For a pureblood supremacist family, it's quite unusual. Something I will never understand. Purebloods like the Malfoy's hate on those who aren't of their blood status, but use muggle inventions, eat muggle foods, and carry-on muggle traditions and cultures. 

After spending hours in the library, skimming through the many books—clearly untouched as I spent a good ten minutes choking on the dust, I go back upstairs, to notice a room with its door slightly open. I can see a desk and a couple bookshelves through the small space. It's an office.

"Asya! Severus has arrived." I hear Narcissa call out. 

I see him waiting in the main hall, wearing a long black trench coat. "Asya." He nods to me. 

"I'll give you both some privacy." Narcissa leaves us, closing the door on her way out.

"Did you miss me?" I nudge his shoulder but he doesn't look very pleased. "What's with the face?"

"Your ceremony is soon."

"Yes, I know. What about it?" He shuffles in his position before looking at me.

"You're going to be expected to do something for the Dark Lord to prove your loyalty to him."

"I know, I'll be assigned a task."

He shakes his head, "it's not just a task. At the ceremony he'll want you to do something. I'm not sure what, he hasn't done this with anyone before."

_Then why is he doing this with me?_

"So, he's testing me? Is that it?"

"In a way, yes. With your training throughout the years, you shouldn't be too worried. But expect the unexpected."

"Expect the unexpected. Very helpful." I scoff. 

He ignores my sarcasm. "Have you been training yourself over the break?"

_No._

"I thought the point of a break was to have a break?"

"You will train by yourself until the ceremony. If you can't meet his expectations, I can't control what will happen."

"You're joking right?" I run my fingers through my hair, "How did you not know this? I've been training for this moment my whole life and _now_ you're telling me about this _thing_ I have to do which if I fail, I don't even know what'll happen after that."

"I told you, the Dark Lord usually doesn't do this. I just found out."

"Of course you did. Well, thank you for notifying me at such short notice. I'll be sure to train long and hard to not disappoint you." I reply sarcastically. 

"Everything I do, everything _you_ do, it's all for your own good. You will realize this eventually."

"Mhmm." I hum as a response before we both walk out of the room to see Draco arriving home, looking at the both of us skeptically. 

"Draco." He nods at him

"Professor." He nods back.

"Before I leave, I'd like to have a word with you." Snape and Draco go into the room we were in earlier, and I walk back up to mine. 

I'm screwed. I'm actually screwed. 

It's okay, I should be ready for anything, right? I've done everything you could possibly think of to prepare for this moment. I should be more than ready. But Voldy is a literal sociopath, he's probably thinking about something unattainable for me to do. After all, he won't mind if I fail, it'll give him a reason so kill me. 

_Fuck me._

"Karkaroff?" I hear Draco's voice from outside my door.

"Yes?" 

"Are you throwing up or can I come in?"

_I hate him._

I get up and open the door, to see him leaning against the wall in his black suit, "I'm going to be training you."

"What?"

"Snape informed me about the task you'll have to complete the day of the ceremony. He wants you to practice with me."

_Is he joking?_

" _Me_ practice with _you_." I start laughing. "Do you not remember how the duel between us ended last time."

"Awww" he pouts "I'll go easy on you Karkaroff, if that's what you're concerned about. I'm just not sure the Dark Lord will."

"Mhmmm, if I'm not mistaken, I would've won that duel if Snape didn't interfere. And I can train on my own."

"You don't have a choice." He crosses his arms over his chest.

"I don't care." I copy his stance. 

"I do. Snape gave me an order, I gave him my word. I won't have him pestering me because you're a stubborn idiot."

I narrow my eyes at him. 

"Tomorrow, six in the morning. Don't be late." He starts moving away, preparing to leave.

"I'm not coming."

"You will be. I'll make sure of it." He leaves, shutting my door. 

_Is Snape okay? Does he want us to kill each other?_

Yes. Yes he does. 

Then I'll make sure he gets what he wants. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

_"Kill her."_

_"No."_

_"I said, kill her."_

_"No!"_

_"Kill her!"_

"Rise and shine, Karkaroff!"

I feel a tide of water suffocate me as I jolt awake, coughing the life out of me. As I blink away the water, I notice a blonde head hovering over me with a now emptied black bucket in his hands.

_Oh for fucks sake._

"Get up, come on." He claps his hands at me.

I look up at him from a sitting position on my bed, soaked "You did not—"

"I did." He grins menacingly.

I stare at him for a moment, narrowing my eyes, "I'm going to kill you."

"Yeah yeah, save it for the training."

"I said I wasn't com—"

"I know. And I said you will be." He looks at me sternly, expecting me to listen to him. 

_As if._

"You can't decide for me."

"I can. Now get up and get ready." He trails his eyes down my wet clothes, "or I'll have to undress you myself."

"Fuck off."

He raises a brow at me, taking his wand out and cutting one strap of my night gown with a Severing charm, before pointing the wand at my other shoulder, threatening to do the same thing. "Get dressed. Now." He leaves.

I fucking hate him.

After casting a Hot Air Charm to dry myself off, and changing into more comfortable clothes to train it, I walk out of my room to see him leaning on the stair railing with his back faced to me. He's wearing grey seats, and a black t-shirt, extenuating his toned figure and revealing his dark mark on his veiny forearm. 

"If you're done staring, follow me." He calls out, still facing away from me. 

"You're just standing there awkwardly, it's hard not to. " I scoff at him. 

"Mhmm." He hums, leading the way. We end up going to a basement looking place before he unlocks a door, revealing a duelling room. 

"You have a duelling room?" I turn to look at him, impressed by it. It's dark, illuminated by the amber hue of the torches. Everything is stone; the walls, the floors. 

"I'm a Malfoy, I have everything."

_Not everything._

We hear a knock on the door and Draco goes to open it, revealing an elf with two trays of food. He levitates both of them on the ground, sitting down. 

"Sit." He pats the ground next to him. I look at him skeptically "You look like death when you're hungry. Sit and eat, you're going to need energy to duel." 

_Awww, he cares, how sweet._

I sit across from him, pulling my tray in front of me, as I hear him scoff in an amused tone. 

I snap my eyes to look at him. "What?"

"I won't bite."

"I will." I send him a cheeky smile before grabbing my black mug, and taking a sip of my tea. I watch him look at my mouth as I'm drinking the tea. "How'd you know I drink this tea?"

"I didn't." He uses his fork to shuffle the food on his plate. 

"Then why'd you buy it in bulk before the break?"

"Because _I_ drink this tea, so I bought a lot of it."

That's bullshit. I've never, not once, seen him drink tea at school. 

"Mhmm." I hum. Liar.

I notice him narrowing his eyes at me "I'm surprised you came down for breakfast yesterday instead of hiding in your room."

"I don't hide in my room."

"Right, you don't hide. You run away." He raises his mug at me smugly, before drinking from it.

"Okay, looks like you've gotten your energy back, let's start." I slide the tray away from me, but he slides it back.

"Not yet. Finish your breakfast first."

"I've lost my appetite." 

"I don't care. Eat."

"No."

He looks at me sternly, warning me with his glare. "Karkaroff. Eat."

"Malfoy, sod off."

"Do you want me to force feed you? Because I will."

"No, you won't" He nods his head at me, taking his spoon and scooping some of my yogurt, putting it towards my mouth.

"Open your mouth."

"I said no."

"It's strawberry. You like strawberry, don't you? Now open."

I turn my face away but he grabs my cheeks, pursing my lips open, shoving the spoon in my mouth and pulling it out releasing his grip on my face so my mouth closes "swallow." He orders me.

I purse my lips to spit it at him but he points the spoon at me "if you spit it out, I will pour this entire bowl of yogurt down your throat until you choke on it." I narrow my eyes at him before finally swallowing the yogurt. 

"Good girl." He says, wiping the leftover yogurt on the corner of my lip with his thumb and bringing it to his mouth, before taking the same spoon, dipping in his yogurt and eating. 

After we both finish our breakfast, I turn away to put my hair up in a high ponytail and turn around to see his gaze trailing down my body, before noticing me, and looking away.

"You're a pig." I scoff.

"When you're dressed like _that_ , it's hard not to look."

"I'm wearing leggings and a tank top."

"Exactly."

"Do you have an off switch?"

He smirks at me, before looking down at his pants "would you like to see it?" 

"Fuck off, just get in your position."

"Which one? Missionary? Doggy—"

" _Impedimenta_!" I cause him to fall back. 

He looks up at me with a conniving grin. "Karkaroff, your shoes are untied."

"No, they're not."

"You sure?"

"I'm positive."

We staring at each other for a moment, I'm starting to believe they're actually untied but I know he's lying so he can distract me. 

I keep my eyes on him, lifting one foot off the ground the feel my laces before he uses a non-verbal tripping curse on me. 

"Rule number one; trust your instincts" He gets up from the ground, and I do the same, summoning my wand from the ground before he casts _"Expelliarmus!"_ disarming me. "Rule number two; don't depend on your wand."

I cast a non-verbal Levicorpus charm on him, causing him to be swept off his feet, hanging upside down. Summoning my wand, I whirl him around in the air. "Rule number one; you don't make the rules. I do." I twirl him a little more before he casts a counter-jinx, dropping to the floor. He goes to get up but I jinx him " _Locomotor Mortis!_ " I lock his legs in place, causing him to fall again, as he looks up at me evilly before I cast _"Aguamenti!"_ A jet of water shoots out of my wand towards him, leaving him soaking wet. "Rule number two; _never_ dump water on me again."

He conjures his wand, yelling _"Diffindo!"_ Leaving a deep cut in the palm of my dominant hand, causing my wand to drop.

"Rule number three; you're not in school, if you want to have a real duel, don't use childish curses." He brushes his wet hair back, taking his soaking wet shirt off, and throwing it on the ground, revealing his fair skin, glistening in water under the dim amber light. I notice scars on his abdomen, the one I gave him on his chest, and a couple more on his back. Much like the scars I have.

"Come on Karkaroff. Fight back" He stands in front of me with his hands behind his back, waiting for me to do something. 

_Okay._

I kick the back of his legs, swooping him on the ground before I put my foot on his chest to hold him down, leaning down to his face "cut the crap, and fight with me." He tilts his head, grabbing me by my foot so that I fall on the ground, right next to him, before turning to his side and getting on me, locking me in place with his legs and hands on either side of me.

"You're weak. Keep up this lame performance and the Dark lord will have your head." 

I _am not_ weak.

I go to move my arms, but he pulls them above my head, pinning me down as both of our heavy breaths fan against each other's faces. We look at each other, a smirk on his face, before I take my leg and wrap it around his thigh, flipping him over so now I'm straddling him, pinning his arms above his head.

"No, you're weak." I cast a non-verbal choking spell, constricting his neck so that he's suffocating, before getting off of him and grabbing my wand, whispering _"Episkey"_ to heal the cut on my hand. I look down at him, seeing his face turn red as he's s struggling on the floor. "What's wrong Malfoy? You're not looking too well." I smile at him

_Just a little longer..._

No. 

_Yes_. 

No.

I release the spell, causing him to gasp out for air before coughing vigorously. 

_Take him down Asya, he's coughing right now, take him down._

No, let him breathe for a moment.

_Fucking weak._

His coughs start to subside but he's still on the ground "I think we're done here. You can't help train me when you can't even protect yourself." I mock him, turning to leave.

" _Locomotor_." I hear a croaky whisper before the knight in the corner of the room comes to life, placing a sword in front of me to block me from getting to the door. The other knight moves too, so its sword is pointing at me from the side. 

"You're getting inanimate objects to do your work for you?" I scoff.

"That's what you have magic for. Use it to your advantage."

I turn around to see Draco standing right behind me, with his wand pointed at me, so I do the same. "Accio sword!" We both yell out, conjuring the swords of both knights so that we now have a sword in one hand, and our wands in the other, pointing at one another.

"Which one Karkaroff? Wand or sword?"

"Both." I hit his wand out of his hand with the tip of my sword, before gashing his hand like he did mine.

"You won't have a sword at the ceremony." He cuts my hand holding the wand so now we both only have swords, and a bloody hand.

"I know." I cut his cheekbone with the tip of my sword, now pointing it to his chest. He pushes the sword away with his own, and we start clashing them against each other, fighting. He whips his sword across, almost cutting my neck before I duck down, avoiding it. I skim my sword across his arm, hoping that it hurts enough for him to drop his sword. But he doesn't. Instead, he takes a hold of my wrist, and twirls me around, pushing me towards a brick wall so that the side of my face is on it. He holds back my hand with the sword in it, immobilizing me, before pulling me back against him, his sword against my neck.

"I could slit your throat right here." He says lowly.

"Do it. Then you'll be killed for killing me."

"I'm not afraid of dying." He pushes the sword slightly against my neck, just enough to _almost_ break my skin. He's so close to me, his cologne is invading my senses and thoughts. I back up slightly, stepping on his foot, before using my free hand to grab the sword from him, pointing it at his neck "neither am I." We look at each other, blood everywhere. He walks up closer, and I back up to avoid actually stabbing his neck. Theres a time and place, I don't intend on killing him right now. He comes closer and closer as my wand is still pointed at his neck, before my back hits a wall, when he finally places his chin on the blade of the sword. "Do it." He dares me, with a stern look on his face. I observe his face; no fear, no doubt, nothing. Completely blank. 

"Practice is over." I drop my wand before he lifts my wrist, walking closer so the sword is horizontal, as he brings my wrist close to his neck, so the blade is on his throat. "Finish me." He whispers, as out faces are a finger length a part.

"Do you want me to kill you?" I whisper back.

"I want you to protect yourself."

I bring my face closer to his, his hand still on my wrist, tightening as the sword is against the skin of his throat. "I don't need to protect myself against you. You won't hurt me."

"How can you be so sure?"

How _can I_ be so sure?

"Because like you said, you've picked up on a few things about me. I've picked up on a few things about you. You won't do it."

"I've hurt people before."

"So have I."

"How do you know I won't hurt you right now?"

"Because this is just training. It's all fake. All a game."

"What if it's not? What if everything that's happening is real?"

"It's not real. Because when we leave this room, everything will be over. We'll have cleaned up, and healed our wounds."

"Until we have to train again."

"Then we'll hurt each other and heal our wounds again."

"So, you're not going to kill me?" He asks me.

"No."

"You'll want to one day. You won't have a choice."

"One day. Until that day comes, I want you alive."

I release my grip on the sword, causing it to drop on the ground. He still holds my wrist and we stare at each other for a moment, like we're both trying to read each other. See the truth. But we both refuse to drop our masks. Instead, he drops my wrist, moving back. 

"Clean yourself up. We'll meet down here tomorrow, same time." He says, before picking up his wand, placing the knights back in their place, casting " _Scourgify"_ to clean the room, and leaving.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Draco has been helping me practice for the 'task' I'll have to complete at the initiation ceremony. I'm counting the days in my head. The closer it gets, the tighter I feel my heart clenching. But I'm not scared. I don't feel anything. I just feel neutral about this whole situation. Working with a sociopathic serial killer to do his dirty work isn't usually something to look forward to. This is my faith, and it's been decided for me before I could even speak. I just have to accept it and move on.

I'm sitting in the library again while Draco and his mother are out together running some _errands_. I heard them talking about an appointment or something. Eavesdropping in the manor isn't the easiest thing to do. Especially with the portraits hawking at you. 

"Where is it?!" I hear a deep voice yell out.

"I-I'm not s-sure master"

Shit.

_Lucy's back._

"Silence! You're a _filthy_ liar. You clean the rooms, do you not?"

"Y-yes m-"

"Then where is it?!"

Oh, for fucks sake what is he blabbing on about now?

I get up and open the library door slightly, the corridors look empty. Maybe if I just—

"You!"

_Fuck._

"Mr. Malfoy." I smile at him sweetly before he pushes the library door open completely, storming in and closing it shut.

"What are _you_ doing snooping around _my_ Manor?" He points his walking stick furiously at me.

"Snooping? No. Reading? Yes." 

"Are you being smart with me?"

"No, I'm answering your question."

He narrows his eyes at me; they look darker than Draco's when he's mad. 

"Were you in my office?"

"Your office?"

_Ahhh the office I was wanting to go into..._

"Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about. You've found the library, surely you've rummaged through the different rooms in the Manor."

"I didn't go anywhere else."

He whips his wand out, pointing it at me "You're a liar. Just like your father. You have something of mine, I'd like it back."

"That's nice. I don't know what _something_ you're implying to. I didn't take anything. You probably just misplaced whatever it is you're looking for."

"I _never_ misplace my things." He walks closer to me but I stand my guard, his wand now touching my chin. "I've hurt you once before Karkaroff, I won't hesitate to do it again."

"Then do it. Kill me if it makes you feel better. I have nothing to lose. But you do. Because when the Dark Lord finds out you've hurt me, he'll kill you and your entire family."

"Who said he's going to find out?" He grins evilly at me, grabbing my arm and lifting my chin with his wand. "Tell me Karkaroff, what was the spell I hit you with that night? The Cruciatus curse was it? Sectumsempra? Or maybe it was both, it's hard to remember from all the screaming and blood fogging my memory."

"Do. It. I dare you." I seethe out. He moves his wand from under my chin, lifting it to cast a cruse—

"Father?"

We both remove our gaze off of each other, focusing on Draco standing by the door. 

"Come in. I found a _rat_ running around the Manor."

Draco walks in looking at the both of us with a confused expression.

"What are you doing in here Karkaroff?"

"I'm wondering that exact thing. But she seems to have her tongue tied in a knot, so I thought I would undo it for her." He raises his wand again.

"Wait." Draco intervenes. "You can't touch her, the Dark Lo-"

"Yes, I know." He looks at me for a moment, scheming something. "Perhaps you could do the honours, son. After all, he won't be able to read through your head."

I look at Draco. He doesn't show any emotion., like he's actually considering it. Of course, he would, he wouldn't disobey his father. 

"Well? What are you looking at? Take out your wand and punish her."

He stares, like he's debating on whether or not to do it. 

He should. 

I want him to. 

I want to see what he can turn into.

I want to see the worst he can do.

It'll make it easier for me to hate him. 

He takes out his wand, pointing it at me, causing Lucius to step aside. He walks towards me slowly, staring deeply to catch any glimpse of fear or anxiousness I may have. I show none. Because I have none. His wand rises. 

"Draco!" He turns around abruptly to be faced with Narcissa, standing at the door.

_What a lovely family reunion._

"Narcissa, leave." Lucius warns her.

"No, leave the boy alone."

"He is not a _boy,_ he is a _man_. And he will do as he is told."

"Draco if you even touch this girl, I will not forgive you."

"Please," Lucius scoffs "Go on Draco, your mother's being dramatic."

"Dramatic? Very well. If anything happens to this girl because of either one of you, you both will never be forgiven. And _that_ is a promise. You know how much I value promises, right Lucius dear?"

He narrows his eyes at her. There was definitely a subliminal message sent there. Smart woman. 

"Oh, for Merlin's sake." Draco puts his wand down, storming out of the room in rage.

"Do not _ever_ snoop around the Manor again. Or there will be consequences." Lucius points at me, before also storming out. Leaving Narcissa and I alone together.

"There won't be any consequences." Narcissa rolls her eyes, coming closer to me with a sincere smile "you can walk around the Manor as much as you'd like. But for your own sake, stay away from the very first room on the third floor. That's Lucius's office."

"Don't worry, I was just interested in the library."

She smiles at me. "I used to spend all my time in the library when I first moved into the Manor, before I had Draco. He was a trouble maker so I never had time to come back."

I smile back at her. I don't really know what to say, I've never had an actual conversation like _this_ with an adult. 

"Well, stay in here all you like. You can call for Tilly or Tibby if you need anything." She puts her hand on my shoulder, rubbing it before leaving the room. 

_What just happened?_

No clue.

_Am I going to snoop around in Lucius's office when he's not around?_

Yes.

The rest of the day goes by in a blink of an eye, like always. I'm fast asleep before a scream wakes me up. 

What is it now?!

I open my door slightly to see the dark corridor before I hear another scream.

It's a female's voice.

It's Narcissa.

What the fuck?!

Her voice leads me to her room as I knock on it but don't receive an answer. I open the door slightly to peek through, to see Lucius cradling her against his chest as she breathes heavily, shaking from shock; the moonlight reflecting off of her wet cheeks, before he puts a pill in her mouth and gets her to drink water. He strokes her hair, leaving a gentle peck on her forehead. Seeing them both like this; it's strange. Both so strong in character, never showing a glint of weakness to anyone. Yet so vulnerable around each other. Everyone has a weakness; they are eachothers.'

My parents never looked at each other the way they do. I haven't even seen them touch each other, or look at each other's eyes. Always so distant. Like strangers. 

How can a boy with parent's so in love, they'd do anything for each other, come out like _that_? I would've expected Draco's parents to be different. Something to cause him to be like this. Cold, distant, treating everyone like an enemy because he truly believes everyone is out to get him, so he sees no reason to confide his trust in anyone, because he knows it will be broken. Just like me. But I am a product of my environment. What is he?

I close the door lightly, turning away to go back to my room before I meet his gaze.

"Karkaroff, what are you doing here?" Draco whispers, holding a wet cloth in his hand for what I presume to be for Narcissa.

"I heard screams. I wanted to check to see if everything was okay."

He just stares down at me blankly, so I walk past him, back to my room. 

_What else was he supposed to say?_

About fifteen minutes later and I'm still lying awake in my bed, looking at the wall in front of me. Not only is Draco Malfoy weird, so is his family. His father's delusional, his mother's... I don't even know at this point. I thought she was a strong woman until I saw her like _that_. 

Do one's emotions really determine their strength?

Yes. 

Emotions _are_ a weakness. 

And lately I've been feeling a lot of them. Which is why I need it to stop. And this fucking potion seems to be doing everything but that. I've been using it for years. It gives me my control. Numbs me of my pain and trauma's. I don't get night terrors, or panic attacks, or freeze anymore. Everything is numbed. Or _was_ numbed up until I started Hogwarts. That's when the effects of the potion starting wearing down. I thought a higher dosage would help in the beginning. And it did, _at first_. But coming to this manor. The stress of the ceremony. Everything's fucking building up. And I hate it. I need it to stop. I can't let myself go. Not again.

As I stare blankly at the wall, I hear my door creak open; a shudder of light from the hallway beams in my room, and I see a shadow on my wall. 

The figure stands there, as I feel a gaze burning into my back. "I know you're not sleeping Karkaroff." I hear Draco sigh out loud before talking again "You will not speak a word to anyone about what you saw tonight. Am I clea-"

I turn my head over my shoulder to look back at him, cutting him off. "I won't. Close the door on your way out."

He stands there for a minute longer. I can feel his thoughts rushing through his mind. He doesn't trust me. But that's the thing, even his weaknesses I will keep a secret. I won't exploit them. They're mine to use against him. I won't let anyone else use them against him. Only me, when necessary.

Days pass by quickly; the night sky crashes down, and I find myself back on this balcony. 

We both do.

Him on his side.

Me on mine.

Separated by a prison-like railing.

In hopes that our boundaries aren't crossed.

In hopes that we don't fall.

Draco is keeping his distance. I feel like he's counting down the days until he can leave the Manor and go back to school. 

He's practically drowning in his sorrow, begging to be pulled out. But a part of him wants to stay, and drown; he wants to punish himself. And avoiding his emotions for a lifetime of loneliness, is the biggest punishment one could give themselves. Because deep down, everyone craves something more. Someone more. We're just all scared to admit it because we fear that if we depend too much on others, we won't know how to cope when we _are_ alone. One day, everyone will be left alone. 

As soon as he notices me, he gets up to leave before I speak up "now who's running away?" He stops in his tracks for a moment, before sliding the glass door open, going into hiding again.

I know why he's hiding. I've tried it before. He's hiding because he's vulnerable. He's shown me too much; if he hides, he'll avoid everything. And then when he goes back to Hogwarts, he'll act like none of this happened. 

I hear the glass door behind me slide open. "I'm not running away." His warm breath whispers against my ear as his hand touches my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, before taking a seat next to me, at a good enough distance.

"You've gotten used to barging into rooms." I look at him from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, so have you" He scoffs, referring to last night. 

"She was screaming. Obviously, I had to see what was going on."

"In this house, things like that are normal. You'll learn to ignore it with time."

"I won't need to learn. I'm never coming back here again." 

He turns to look at me. "Except for the meetings."

"Except for the meetings." I repeat.

We sit silently before he speaks up again. "By the way, if you do decide to tell anyone about last night, I won't hesitate to tell them about how you froze in my room that one night, and I had to carry you back."

_Dick._

"I was wondering when the real you would come back." I let out a soft laugh. 

"The _real_ me?"

"Yeah, the dick who uses people's vulnerabilities against them because he expects the same treatment from others."

He laughs at my remark. "Would you not have used last night against me?"

"No. I just caught you with a cloth in your hand."

"You saw my mother like _that_."

"Your mother did nothing to me. I have no reason to use something like this as leverage."

He shuffles closer to me, both of our arms hanging off the railing as we sit on the ground. "You know _nothing_ about the _real_ me." He leans in to my ear, lowering his voice.

I turn my head, staring into his enticing eyes. "I know enough to know that the person you show at school isn't you." 

We both turn our faces away from each other, but he remains sitting close to me. "Whatever makes you happy, Karkaroff. You've painted this version of me in your head that you so desperately want to believe."

"You want someone to do that to you, don't you? You want someone to hold you in their arms and tell you everything's okay like your father. did to your mother. But you don't have that luxury, do you? Forced to stray away from being a _boy_ , to become a _man_." I quote his father's words. "It took me a couple months but I read you like a book. You're no man. You're still a boy. A broken boy who's scared, and trapped in the body of a monster. A monster that you, your fears, worries and experiences have created." 

"Keep believing that Karkaroff. Maybe it'll get you to start pitying me so you'll finally give in and beg."

I turn to face him, as he does the same. "I don't beg, and I don't feel pity."

"No? Not yet. You know everything that you just described; this whole time you've been describing yourself. Maybe it's you who wants to be held in someone's arms. Acting like you don't care, but in reality, you do. You hide under this control freak personality of yours. Acting like everything's perfect and under control. Perfect room, perfect grades, perfect everything, when it's not. Because you want control. Without your control, you'll come crumbling down. And that's why you won't beg. Because you'd rather control yourself than surrender yourself to me. You'd rather keep everything on your own shoulders, instead of sharing the weight with someone else."

"Now I think _you've_ painted a version of me in your head that _you_ desperately want to believe." I turn my head away from him, looking out at the view. But I'm not actually looking at anything. I'm looking at him from my peripheral vision, still facing me, trying to understand me. Trying to find my truth.

Little does he know, he already has.

"What would it take for you to break down your walls?" He questions me.

"I don't have walls to breakdown."

He laughs under his breath "Of course you don't. But let's say you did. What would it take, for you to show yourself, your true, authentic self?"

I take a moment to think. What would it take? 

"Trust. I would have to trust that person with my life, in order to show my _true, authentic self._ " I air quote him.

He grabs my chin lightly, turning it to face him. "And what would one have to do to gain that trust?" He asks me softly.

He's looking for an answer. I won't give it to him. "I don't know. No one ever _has_ gained my trust."

"Doesn't mean no one _can_ gain it."

"I don't know. I guess, the only way to gain trust is to be truthful. By sharing one another's pain, being able to empathize with them. If there is no truth and purity in your emotions, how can you trust that what the person says to you, how they look at you, touch you, their intentions with you; how can you tell that they're really being _real_? You can't." 

"You've seen a truth of mine last night. And I saw yours before, so do you trust me?"

"No. I don't trust anyone."

I don't even trust myself.

He drops his hand from my face, turning away from me. "Good. Don't trust me. Don't trust anyone. It's the best thing you could do for yourself."

"Do you trust me?"

He starts playing with my hair tie on his wrist, before turning back to face me. "No. I don't trust you Karkaroff. I don't trust anyone."

I was hoping for a different answer, but he has no reason to give me one.

"Good." I give him a brief smile and we both turn to look at the view. Tonight there are stars. Just like the night at the Astronomy tower. But they're dim. Like someone has taken away their shine as they're covered by dark clouds. 

"Karkaroff?"

"Mhmm?"

"What did my father mean in the library when he said he'll hurt you again?"

Shit, I forgot he was standing at the door while we were talking.

"He was speaking metaphorically."

"I don't like being lied to."

"I don't care what you like, I'm not lying."

He tugs on the blanket wrapped around my body, trying to grab my attention. When I don't give it to him, he pulls me from my legs, shifting my body closer to his so that our legs are practically overlapping one another. "Did he hurt you?" He searches my eyes for an answer, a sign, something. 

"No. He didn't." I lie, smiling at him "I'm Asya Karkaroff, no one can hurt me."

His serious face turns into a face of amusement, "Don't be so sure. If my mother didn't interrupt me, I would've used the cruciatus on you."

"No, you wouldn't have. You hesitated. You can't hurt someone when you're hesitant about it. You'll end up hurting yourself more with the guilt you experience later on."

"I don't hesitate. Only hesitated for you. But that's just because I was deciding on whether I should aim for your chest or your leg." He grins.

"It's okay, I trust that you'll _try_ to ruin me sooner or later."

" _Will_ ruin you." He corrects me.

"Not if I ruin you first."

"We'll see." He gets up, looking down at me.

"Night Karkaroff. Don't worry, you shouldn't be hearing any screaming tonight. Maybe in your dream when you're thinking about me."

"Goodbye, Malfoy" I flick him off, not looking at him. I feel a tug on the strand of my hair in the back, causing me to look over my shoulder.

"Look at me when saying your goodbyes. It could be your last."

"Goodbye, Malfoy." I squint my eyes at him, giving him a sarcastic smile before he leaves to go back to his room with a satisfied smirk on his face.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Lucy's on a little 'trip' today so I thought, what a perfect time to find what he's hiding in that office of his. 

Unfortunately, unlike last time, his door wasn't unlocked. Took some time to get past his wards that I'm sure he put up specifically for me. But I managed to get in. Unlike Draco's stuff, his things are all over the place. It's a big mess. Papers stacked on his desk, books piled randomly in their shelves. And then, pensieves. All kept in a spinning glass cabinet. I walk towards it, twirling it slowly to see a bunch of names labelling each one. 

_Greyback._

_Black._

_Nott._

_Dolohov._

_Lestrange._

_Yaxley._

_Pettigrew_ _._

_Crouch._

_Snape._

Snape? I'm curious to see what memory he could possibly have of him.

_Carrow._

_Karkaroff._

Why would he have a pensieve for my family? It's practically non-existent.

I take both Snape and I's pensieves, shoving them in my pocket before casting _"Geminio,"_ to duplicate the pensieves so he can't tell they're gone.

I spin the cabinet back to its original position, casting _Scourgify_ to clean my prints off of it. He's already trying to find an excuse to slit my throat. I walk over to his desk and rummage through the piles of papers and files. Nothing useful. 

I move over to the messy books in his shelf. They're record-like files, all with names on them like the pensieves. I skim through them and notice my name on one, before taking it from the bookshelf to take a look inside. 

There's my school photograph, my academic records, my date of birth, _almost_ everything, all the way to my blood type. 

_What the hell?_

I flip through a couple more pages to see the papers for when Snape became my guardian. Skipping to the end, I see testing results. It's the results from my training when Father was alive. Dated from my first session until the last; a list of different curses and their results under each date. He used to keep track of the things he would do to me and how long I could withstand them for, so he could compare them and measure my endurance. 

**DAY 1:** CRUCIATIUS CURSE; PASSED OUT IN TEN SECONDS

 **DAY 11:** CRUCIATUS CURSE; PASSED OUT IN SIXTY SECONDS, EELS; SEVEN MINUTES TO ESCAPE

 **DAY 100:** SNAKE PIT; PARSELTONGUE, CRUCIATUS CURSE; LASTED FIVE MINUTES

 **DAY 365:** CRUCIATUS CURSE; NUMB **,** SECTUMSEMPRA; FATAL HEMORRHAGING—UNCONCIOUS FOR ONE WEEK

_Why the hell does he have these results?_

I close the book before noticing something falls out of it. 

My mother's death records identifying the reason of her death, the day she died; time and place left unknown.

_"How's your mother doing?"_

_"I hope she's well."_

So, that's how he knew? _This_ is what Draco was hinting at when he mentioned my mother a few months back? 

I told him to stop researching me. Clearly, he didn't listen.

I clean up and remove my traces, before storming off to go to his room, only to see him sitting out on the balcony.

"Get up." I order him in a stern voice. He doesn't acknowledge my presence, still looking out at the night sky.

"Malfoy, get up now." I repeat myself but he doesn't. I walk closer to him, pulling on the collar of his shirt from the back of his neck. He doesn't budge.

So I kneel down, pulling his shoulder towards me, only to be faced with a bruised, blank face.

What happened to him?

I don't care, he owes me a fucking explanation.

"I warned you. I told you to stop sticking your nose in my business." I take my wand out, jabbing it slightly in his stomach. He doesn't react, he just stares blankly at me.

"Are you just going to sit here and act like you don't know what I'm talking about?" He doesn't respond. "Why the fuck do you have a file on me?" His blank stare turns into confusion. "Answer me."

"What, you going to fight me?" He asks me with a bored expression. "Do you want to fight me Karkaroff?"

"Cut the bullshit. Answer my question!" He gets up and pulls me on my feet, holding me tightly by my shoulders.

"Don't fucking yell at me ever again!"

"What? Do you expect me to give you a cookie after I just found a file with all this information about me, all the way from my fucking blood type, to even more personal stuff? I'll yell at you all I want!"

"Okay? What are you going to do about it?"

I tilt my head at him, "You're fucking delusional."

"I am, now put that wand to use and do something."

I ignore his comment and continue. "Why do you have files on me? I told you to drop it. You're still researching me with your father."

"What are you going to do about _that_?" He looks down at the wand in my hand. "You barge in my room uninvited, raising your voice at me in _my_ house and now you have your wand out. So, go on with it then, hurt me. That's what you want to do, right? Do it."

I put my wand away, "I _was_ going to hurt you but clearly you're fucked in the head right now so I'm going to do it when you least expect me to."

"Karkaroff, if you don't hurt me right now, I'll hurt you. So, do it."

"I don't care what you do. Stop avoiding the question. What the hell do you want from me? Because I have a hard time believing that all of this; this game, your obsession with trying to figure me out, everything is because I crushed your ego a year ago at some stupid ball."

"You're right, it's not."

"Then what is it?! It's been months, just drop it. Leave me alone. Stop messing with me, stop playing games, stop trying to figure me out, because in the end, _you_ will lose Malfoy. You will _never_ get whatever it is that you want."

"You're wrong."

"I'm never wrong. You think with the files you and your father have on me, you've finally figured me out? You think you have something to use as leverage against me? Keep your fucking files, do as much research as you want on me. I don't care anymore, because nothing you find can be used against me. So, you can shove your big ploy to destroy me, up your arse."

I shove him away, turning to leave the balcony before he speaks up.

"You're just leaving then? No payback, nothing? What happened to the girl who carried around daggers pointing it at my throat every chance she got?"

"Malfoy shut the fuck up and be grateful that you're not dead tonight. Because I am going to make the rest of your time at this Manor a living hell."

"Tell me to shut the fuck up one more time, I fucking dare you."

I turn around to meet his angry gaze, exaggerating each word "shut. The. Fuck Up." Instantly, he holds me by my arms, pushing me against the railing, just enough to threaten my fall.

"You think you can come in _my_ house and disrespect me?" He clenches his jaw.

"Yes." I smile at him.

He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him, "I could push you off this balcony right now."

"Then do it already because if you don't, I'll make you regret it." I narrow my eyes at him.

"You don't think I want to? It's not that fucking easy when one minute I want kill you and the next I want to—" He pulls away from me, running his hands through his hair. "Fuck!"

"No, please continue." I walk closer to him but he turns his back to me, staring into his room.

"Just fucking leave Karkaroff." He walks back and forth on the balcony.

"No. You owe me an explanation."

"I don't owe you anything, now fuck off!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"You were yelling first! And now you're yelling again!"

"Because you've pissed me off. I come here to ruin your arse but you're fucking injured _again_ , so I can't!"

"Stop acting like you care! You want to hurt me, then hurt me! I don't need your fucking pity!"

"I don't care, and I don't pity you! And says you! You could've hurt me in the library, you didn't, you could've choked me to death in detention months ago, you didn't, you could have thrown me off the balcony right now, you fucking didn't!"

"Because I can't!" He stops pacing around, the both of us stare at each other angrily, just a couple steps away from one another.

"Why!"

"I don't know! I don't fucking know why I can't hurt you! I don't know why I bought that stupid tea! I don't know why I fucking care, but I do so you're going to have shut the fuck up and deal with it!"

"I don't want to deal with it! I don't want you to care. Call me names, hurt me, do something! You're just making this harder for me."

Now we're both pacing around the balcony from anger and frustration. " _You_ make it harder for _me_. Everyday. With your fucking scent lingering in every corner of my house, your snappy comments, I can't control myself Karkaroff." 

"Well then that's too bad. Learn to." I walk away into his room to open his door and leave but he follows me.

"Learn to? I will, when you learn to."

"See unlike you, I _can_ control myself."

I hear his footsteps getting closer from behind me. "You can't. You just try to. You're so fucking stubborn, you refuse to give up control, because you're scared."

"I'm not scared." 

"You're not scared?"

"No." 

"Prove it." I turn around slowly, he's closer than I thought, our noses are practically touching.

"There's nothing to prove." I say in a quiet tone.

He tilts his head, observing me closely "Give me something Karkaroff. Anything that'll prove me wrong."

Look into my eyes, read me, maybe you'll see. 

"I'm not scared, because there's nothing to be scared about. It's not real. None of this is real. It's just a game."

He presses his forehead against mine, his eyes looking deeply into mine, begging for anything that'll satisfy him. "It doesn't have to be" he whispers, as our noses slightly brush against each other "say the word Karkaroff, and I'll end it."

You can't end it. If you do, it'll end me.

"Just stay away from me." I turn my face away from his, avoiding his gaze in hopes that he can't see the truth in my eyes.

"Don't tell me to do that, because I can't. Not until I know the truth."

You can't know the truth.

He grips my jaw gently, turning me to face him "let me in. Let me take control."

I can't.

Even if I _really_ want to.

"No." I pull a veil over my eyes, covering my emotions. 

"No?"

"No." I repeat myself. He just stares at me; so close yet so far. And then he backs away, dropping his arms by his side, like he's ready to let me go.

But I don't want him to let me go. I want him to hold onto me. Without any expectations; no strings attached.

"Why?" He asks me.

"Because I said so."

"That's not a good enough reason." He takes one step close to me.

"Because I don't want to."

"Still not good enough." He steps closer.

"Because I hate you."

"Yeah?" He takes another step, we're now inches apart.

I don't know.

"Yeah."

"Well guess what Karkaroff, I hate you too. In fact, I hate you more."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fantastic."

"Brilliant."

"Arsehole."

"Bitch."

"Cunt."

"Slut."

I see him gulp as we both just look at each other in silence. We both want something we can't have. And we're just going to have to deal with it.

I turn around and open the door to leave his room before he slams the door shut with one hand. "Let me leav—" Before I can even finish my sentence, I'm tuned around and my back presses against the door as he grabs me by my jaw; cold rings pressing against my skin before crashing his lips onto mine.

It's at this very moment, that I realize, I'm completely fucked.

Draco Malfoy has me wrapped around his finger.

And it's out of my control. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll don't understand how long I've been waiting to write this last scene. Also, I'm really tired, this chapter definitely has some spelling/grammar errors so let's just ignore that 👀
> 
> There's a lot that's going to be happening in the next chapter. Probably the most climactic one I've written yet (hint--him, Voldy, and a moment we've all been waiting for).
> 
> What does Lucius have all those files and pensieves in his office for? Why the file on Asya?
> 
> Who's going to "win" the "game?" Who's going to beg?
> 
> Alsooo, I listen to a lot of music when I write. Would y'all like me to share my playlist to put you in the Crave vibes? (for this chapter, I listened to drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo & After Hours by The Weeknd -- slowed + reverb version)


	30. SINS

****

**Note: The bolded and italicized portion's in this chapter are direct quotes from J.K. Rowling's, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.**

**This chapter is hugeeee, so bear with me because you won't regret it. (I was gonna split it but got lazy)**

**This might be the chapter you've all been waiting for... I dunnoooo.**

**We'll see... 👀**

**Grab some water, and snacks and don't say I didn't warn you.**

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I just needed to be sure. I needed to be sure that whatever I felt, she was feeling. To taste her, touch her, claim her lips as mine, in hopes that this aching tension in my chest, will go away. So, I kiss her, feeling her tense up in shock, but slowly relaxing, her body begging for more but still hesitating to give in.

I didn't intend on kissing her. I just wanted to see her face one more time before she left.

 _Bullshit_.

I _did_ want to kiss her. I _have_ wanted to kiss her since the night of the ball. She left me craving her then, and she leaves me craving for more now.

Soft lips, the taste of cherry. Just like I had always imagined it to be. No, this was more than I imagined it to be. It's perfect. Too perfect to be true. Asya Karkaroff has me completely wrapped around her finger. And it's out of my control.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I _need_ to pull away. But I don't _want_ to. The chance to be this close to him, _this_ vulnerable to him, without having to open up or beg; _this_ is my chance. For just a moment, it's like nothing else exists in the world except for him and I. Sharing the same breath; cool mint chilling my insides. We are infinite.

His touch is like an aphrodisiac; thrilling, consuming, making me want more. But its forbidden. It feels so right yet so wrong, like opening a Pandora's box; filled with good and evil, leaving me with false hope, that will latter leave me feeling empty. Because as good as this feels, from all of this comes more grief, and darkness.

My lips slowly melt with his touch, but I don't let it consume me. I can't let it consume me. But before I can pull back, he does.

"Get out." He speaks with a low tone, and I look into his eyes that no longer look at me with desire and care but of hatred. Every emotion that he showed me seconds ago, gone from his eyes, now stormy grey. "Now." He says in a more commanding tone, looking away from me and opening the door.

"Thank you for your permission." I reply sarcastically, trying to hide the hurt in my voice, before leaving his room to go back to mine.

I don't want to admit it.

But that hurt.

Because _I_ was supposed to be the one to pull away, to control myself, but when he did it. It just doesn't sit right. Now I am no other than a fool whose fallen for his trap. And I never will again.

It's suffocating me. All of this is too much. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was never supposed to feel like this, or let him get to me like this. I'm supposed to ruin him, hate him.

I do hate him.

I'm trying to.

I change and slip into the cold sheets of my bed, in hopes that this is all a dream. A nightmare. And that sooner or later, I'll wake up from it, never returning.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's been a few days since Draco and I's encounter. He hasn't bothered barging into my room to remind me of our training, and I haven't bothered coming out to do so. Maybe he finally has given up.

Good.

He should.

I'm not going to give in to him after a couple meaningless conversations on a balcony, and one kiss. He has proven nothing to me. He _is_ nothing to me.

"Asya?" I hear Narcissa's voice call out from in front of my door. "May I come in?"

"Yes, of course." I call out.

She walks in, taking a seat on the bench in front of my vanity, as I'm sitting up in my bed.

"How are you?"

She's rambling. I can tell, she's fiddling with her fingers a lot. It's definitely about why I've isolated myself in my room again.

"Fine, yourself?"

"I'm alright." She shifts in her seat, looking down at her twiddling thumbs. "Just wanted to check in, make sure everything's alright. The Manor's been very quiet lately."

"Yes well, just been feeling a little overwhelmed with the ceremony coming up. Wanted to mentally prepare myself alone in my room beforehand."

She smiles at me, observing me closely. "You're a very strong girl. I admire you for it. A strong, independent woman; it's refreshing. Especially in the Manor with two stubborn, strong-headed little boys who call themselves _men_." She scoffs as we both laugh; mine forced of course.

"Your son carries a lot of his fathers' traits compared to yours." They're both dickheads. "You're very approachable."

"Well, I'd hope so. Draco and his father both look cold on the outside, but their hearts are pure gold. Both very loyal to those they care about. Especially their family. A lot of sacrifices have been made to keep this family together." She gets up from the bench and sits next to me on the bed, holding my hands in between hers. "Asya my dear. You are not your father. And I see a lot of potential in you. Do not let anyone use your father's mistakes against you. Not my husband, not my son, no one." She kisses my hand and gets up to leave before turning back around to face me "There will be a New Year's charity Gala tomorrow. We host it every year. As our guest I would love for you to be there too."

"But I have nothing formal to wear."

"No worries, I've already arranged something. All you have to do is show up." She finally leaves me in my room alone, drowning in my thoughts.

My heart feels warm and fluttery.

It's like for a moment, I felt like I had a mother.

I felt love.

But it's all fake. She's a smart woman. She thinks strategically and not impulsively, like me. She's getting close to me on purpose. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. That's exactly what she's doing.

I won't fall for it.

I wake up the next day to find a big box lying in front of my door. In it is a satin, black, off the shoulder satin gown, with a slit on the side. I'm surprised Narcissa picked this out, she seems rather conservative.

I get ready for the gala, curling my hair in a sleek, vintage look, before pairing my classic red lipstick with a simple champagne eye. I feel like a brunette Maralyn Munro. I finally leave my room, making my way down the staircase, until I get jumped.

"Asya!" Daphne clings onto me for her dear life.

"Daphne." I give her a tut smile.

"I was wondering where you were staying during the break." She nudges my shoulder "I didn't know you were close with the Malfoy's"

"Old family friends." I reassure her.

_Nosy bitch._

I hear the sound of a whistle and see Blaise and Theo walking towards me. Daphne jumps into his arms and peppers kisses on his cheek.

"You're kidding, right?" Theo takes my hand and presses a light kiss it. "Fuck me, Asya, you clean up nicely."

"I know." I glance over his black tuxedo, fitting his body perfectly. "Did you iron your clothes for once?"

"Ahhh, she noticed." He nudges Blaise's arm. "Are you impressed?"

"Maybe." I shrug, as his eyes sparkle at my retort.

He puts his arm around me, leaning into my ear. "You can always wrinkle them up for me, if you want the chance to see me iron them in action."

"Nott, they've got a chocolate fountain." Blaise interrupts him, purposely.

"Finallyyyy. Mum took my advice." He runs off but turns around to yell "Asya, you owe me a dance!" Running to the chocolate fountain.

"Isn't his mum dead?" I ask Blaise.

"He's talking about Draco's mother. They have a mother-son bond ever since he lost his own."

_Interesting..._

"Here." Blaise passes me a little gift bag.

"What's this?" I look at the bag, then back at him, confused.

"My mother has a new suitor who's desperate for my love and affection, to win over my mothers', so he thought buying gifts for all my friends would do that."

Didn't her husband _just_ die?

Touché

"Thank you, Blaise." I give him a grateful smile.

"My parents are here, they wanted to see you." Daphne speaks out.

"You go ahead, I'll be there in a minute." He kisses her on the cheek before she walks away. "Have you seen Malfoy?"

"Nope. Don't care." I grab a glass of champagne from one of the waiters, taking a sip from it.

"You live in the same house." He looks at me incredulously.

"Doesn't mean I need to know his whereabouts."

"I need to talk to him. Git hasn't been answering my letters."

"I'm sure you'll find him somewhere. Probably drunk or getting in another fight." I glance around to see if he's around somewhere.

Not that I care.

"A fight?"

"Yeah, he's been getting in a lot of those lately. Been coming home with bruises and cuts."

Blaise furrows his brows in confusion before nodding.

I finally catch a blonde head through the crowded Manor, to see Draco standing with a slim, fair skinned girl with dark blue eyes and silvery blonde hair. Blonde hair and blue eyes huh? The opposite from me... 

She's stunning.

It's revolting.

Well, glad he's moved on from our last _encounter_.

"Found who you're looking for." I point my head towards the them, and Blaise looks at me skeptically before going to him.

This place is filled with death eaters. I've been feeling their eyes on me the whole night. I'm glad I decided to wear my dagger on me. I might need to use it tonight.

The rest of the night goes by with false smiles, posh attitudes and Theo dancing with me while force feeding me chocolate covered fruits. He has a weakness for chocolate.

"Asya Karkaroff." I turn around to see Dolohov glancing at me smugly.

Ew, it's _him_.

Antonin Dolohov. Voldy's right hand man; supposedly the strongest of death eater's. He always had a strange fascination with me ever since I was younger. That fascination led to some... uncalled for actions. Now he's blind in one eye thanks to me.

"You've grown up." He takes a quick glance at my body.

_Fucking pig._

"I suppose you have something to say?" I take a sip of my champagne "Go on, spit it out."

"How smart do you think it is to be speaking to me with such a manner right now knowing what I can do to you." He growls at me.

"Very smart." I go to leave but he grips my arm.

"Be careful Karkaroff, don't think you've been left alone. I'm still hungry for the revenge I haven't gotten."

I turn to look at him, trying to take my arm out of his grasp "Let me go." I look at him warningly, preparing myself for the possibility of stabbing him.

"Is there something you needed, Dolohov?" I hear Draco's voice from behind me, before he removes Dolohov's forceful hand away from my wrist, and pulls me by his side.

"Evening, Draco." He nods at him. "Not at all, I was just catching up with Miss. Karkaroff here." He gives me a dirty glare. "Your father around?"

"Near the dining area." Draco directs him, and he walks away, as I walk away too before Draco grabs my arm. "Stay away from him, unless you're digging your own grave."

I give him a false, but sweet smile, "I am, how'd you know."

He gives me a serious look, before looking over what I'm wearing, giving me the chance to do the same. He's wearing a tuxedo too. And he looks _good_. Too good. So good I might just rip—

Nope.

I pull my arm out of his grasp and walk away.

"Karkaroff." He calls after me but I ignore him, continuing to walk away, making my way to the garden.

"Karkaroff!"

"What." I stop at the fountain, my back facing him.

He doesn't speak. Just stays silent. I hear his footsteps coming closer and I feel a tugging sensation on my back, before hearing the sound of my zipper.

"What are you doing?"

"Your zipper wasn't fully closed." He says in a low, quiet tone.

My zipper?! He called after me for a fucking zipper. Is he joking right now?

"My hero." I scoff, trying hard to maintain a calm tone, even though I want to slit his throat right now.

He ignores my sarcasm. "You ready for tomorrow? We haven't trained in a few days so—"

"Whether I'm ready or not doesn't concern you." I snap at him.

"I don't want Snape at my throat if you fail."

_Fuck off._

"Don't worry, I won't disappoint you both." I retort in a cheery voice.

"I'm serious." He sighs.

"So am I."

"Do you ever stop talking back?"

"Nope."

He lets out a heavy exhale until I hear him walk away.

_Let him go Asya._

_Don't speak up._

_Ignore him._

Fuck no.

"My zipper?" I speak up, turning around to see him stop walking. "You aren't going to say anything else?"

He waits a couple seconds before speaking. "What else do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. I don't expect you to say anything. Afterall, you are _you_." You're a pussy who can't admit you want me... Possibly more than just fucking.

He turns around to face me, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"It wasn't supposed to mean anything. Just like the kiss" I blurt out and he immediately turns his frown into a smug look.

"You're pissed off about that night." He laughs.

"Why would I be pissed off?"

"Because you wanted more but I kicked you out of my room."

"To be pissed off, I'd actually have to care. And I don't." I walk closer to him.

" _This_ is you not caring." He twirls his finger at me, looking at me in disbelief.

"Yep, couldn't care less. If you didn't pull away, I would've. You just beat me to it." I peer up at him, fluttering my eyes innocently.

"If you liked it so much, you can give me a New Year's kiss tonight. Beg free."

I ignore him, shoving past him to go back inside.

He's so fucking pathetic. He can't even man up and talk to me properly. Using a fucking zipper as an excuse.

I don't want to kiss him. I couldn't care less. Or maybe I do want to kiss him, _just_ to be able to be the one to pull back this time.

Idiot.

Just to my convenience, I see Zane DeLaney walk in after me, tie loose, eyes bloodshot. He's clearly high. Even better.

"DeLaney." I walk towards him, greeting him with a bored tone.

"Karkaroff." He glances over my outfit "extra as always."

"Mhmm, high as always." I narrow my eyes at him, giving him a sarcastic smile. "And late."

"Fashionably late." He scoffs. "It takes time to look _this_ good, Karkaroff."

"Oh yes, _so_ good you forgot how to tie a tie." I reach out, retying his messed-up tie, making it extra tight to the point where I hear his breath hitch. "Oh, too tight?" I give him a fake pout.

"Just fucking perfect." He glares at me, giving me a sarcastic smile.

"Just like me." I give him the same smile before I notice Draco eyeing me in the corner, with that blonde barbie in his arm. Oh wait, I know who this is. Leeza Montenegro; the Spanish ambassador's daughter. Spoiled, pureblood; thinks she's all high and mighty. She goes to Beauxbatons. Never felt fit to go to any other school. Draco whispers something in her ear and they both go to the ball room to dance.

_Pathetic._

"Dance with me." I raise a brow at DeLaney, expecting him to do so.

"Aren't I supposed to ask you that?" He scoffs at me.

"Or for fucks sake, don't be so _traditional_. If a woman wants to dance, we grow a pair and do it."

"I don't dance."

"Notice how my voice didn't deflect at the end. It wasn't a question."

He raises a brow at me, but before he can react, I grab his hand and pull him to the ball room, right across from Draco.

He places a hand on the low of my back, pulling me into him.

"I thought you _'don't dance._ ' I'm surprised you aren't stepping on my feet." I mock him.

"I'm full of surprises, Karkaroff." Next thing I know he steps on my foot.

"Ow!" I whisper-yell at him.

"See? Told you I was full of surprises."

I immediately step on his foot. "So am I." I smile at him, and he returns an amused smile back to me.

I look over and see Draco gripping tightly onto the girl, to the point where she looks uncomfortable but she doesn't say anything. He doesn't even look at her, he's looking straight ahead, clenching his jaw.

"Don't be shy, you can pull me in closer." I urge DeLaney to do so.

He immediately pulls me in closer, leaning into my face "I'm not shy, just respecting your boundaries."

I tilt my chin up, moving my face closer to his. "Tonight, I have no boundaries."

He tightens his hold on me, twirling me around and pulling my back against him. "Better?"

"Not bad." I hear him laugh lowly, leaning in from the back, inching towards my ear.

"It's working."

I turn my head slightly, our noses almost brushing against each other. "What's working?"

"Your ploy to make Malfoy jealous, it's working. Look." I look over to catch Draco staring at us before looking away, bringing the girl closer into him.

"That's his problem. And I don't have a ploy to make him jealous." I spin around, and he dips me, pulling my face in towards his.

"Sure."

"DeLaney, I will cut off your tongue."

"With what, your cute little dagger?" He lowers his gaze at the dagger peeking through my dress, strapped on my thigh. "If you _really_ want to make this work, maybe don't look like you want to kill me for two seconds."

"For fucks sake DeLaney, just get on with it." I roll my eyes at him. He holds me in all the right places, dipping me when convenient, twirling me around; our bodies perfectly in sync. Draco of course, challenges me and lifts the girl's thigh to his hip, grazing his fingers over it before releasing her into a dramatic dip, pulling her back up, close to his mouth.

What is this, _Dancing with the Stars?_

DeLaney notices and pulls me in close, allowing me to sweep my foot across the floor, and bring my leg up to his thigh, as he holding me from my hips, lifting me up in the air. He slowly brings me back down, and for the first time, I notice warm amber hues as the lights bring out the colour in his eyes.

"This is the part." He whispers to me.

"The part for what?" I whisper back. Immediately he spins me away from him until I'm steadied by a tight, cold grip.

I look over and see DeLaney dancing with Leeza, before looking back up to meet Draco's stone cold, angered gaze.

_Fuck, he's hot when he's angry._

Nope, not now Asya.

We don't talk, just dance. Our bodies do all the talking; passion, lust, anger, jealousy, everything, expressed through our touch. He turns me around, pulling my back against his front, so that I can feel _every_ inch of him.

"Why so tense, Karkaroff?" He whispers in my ear.

"You sure that's not you, Malfoy?" I stretch my leg out, sliding it across the floor before taking a hold of his hand, guiding it up my leg while his chin rests in crook of my neck.

"Do you remember this?" His lips muffle against my ear. "Our first dance at the ball." Our hands are still together, as his hand trails up my waist, along the side of my neck, gently pushing my head to the side, to give him more room.

"When I pressed my lips on that delicate spot just under your ear." He gently and slowly presses his lips against my sweet spot, very lightly grazing the tip of his cold tongue against my skin, leaving goosebumps along the way.

He spins me around, gripping my hand possessively, pulling me into him so that our lips almost touch. "When I dragged my thumb over the red lipstick that you always manage to smudge on the left corner of your lip." He glides his thumb across the left corner of my mouth, cleaning my lipstick smudge that I really do always manage to smudge in that specific area.

Our foreheads press against each other's, "red is your colour, Karkaroff." He whispers to me, looking into my eyes, like he's staring into my soul.

"I know." I whisper back. We stay in this position forever, not even noticing that the song has ended. Just looking into each other's eyes, a little longer.

"New Year's Countdown, get ready everyone!" I hear someone yell, before everyone starts chanting the countdown. Everyone but him and I.

"5!"

I pull away to leave.

"4!"

He pulls me back, whispering "don't leave."

_If only you said that the other night..._

"3!"

"Goodnight, Malfoy." I pull away from him, walking up the staircase.

"2!"

I turn to look back at him from the top of the staircase, his eyes looking at me in defeat before going numb again.

"1!"

He smirks at me mischievously, lifting a drink up at me before the blonde girl grabs his face, and kisses him; he kisses back.

"Happy New Year!"

Maybe he really doesn't care. After all, he just wants one thing out of this all. And I keep refusing to give it to him.

But a part of me wishes that was me kissing him.

Just one more touch is all I need to know that I'm not going crazy.

"Bored already?" I turn to see DeLaney next to me, leaning against the railing.

"Why did you switch partners?" I scowl at him.

"You wanted to dance with him."

"If I wanted to dance with him, I would have done so with my own free will."

"No, you wouldn't have."

The _nerve_ of this guy.

"You don't know what I would or wouldn't do DeLaney."

"You're forgetting Malfoy and I used to be close. I know him inside out. You and him are the exact same person, so it's not difficult to understand you."

I ignore him and tip the entire glass of champagne into my mouth, finishing it, resting it in a corner. "I don't like you." I blurt out.

He looks at me strangely, surprised by my bluntness. "The feelings mutual."

"I don't understand you. And I _really_ don't like not understanding people. You come to Hogwarts and your _'best mates'_ are here but you barely hang out with them. You're always high, late to class, and act like you don't care about anything or anyone."

"Wow, you've been studying me closely, I'm impressed."

"Well... Are you going to tell me who you are?"

"Zane DeLaney." He says in a bored tone.

"I'm serious." I eye him carefully.

"So am I."

"Okay, don't tell me. I'll find out myself sooner or later."

"Whatever you say. Goodnight, Karkaroff." He leaves my side, walking down the stairs

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's the day before the ceremony and I'm woken up to the crashing sound of shattering glass.

"You lied to me!" I hear Draco's loud voice.

_What the fuck is going on now?_

"Silence boy! You dare disrespect me to defend that girl?!"

"Lucius please." I hear Narcissa.

"Everything I do is for this family." He continues.

Draco cuts him off. "What does torturing her do for this family?"

"Believe me, she benefitted from it." I hear Lucius scoff. I can already picture the stupid smug look on his face.

A couple minutes later, I hear Draco's room slam shut, and the entrance door slamming shut after it.

_Is everyone in this house bipolar?_

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

Of course, she doesn't trust me. How could she after what happened.

I watched pensieve and I wish I hadn't.

That's why she hates my father.

She lied to me. She fucking lied to me. And so did he.

She said he didn't hurt her.

 _He_ said he didn't hurt her.

I don't know what I feel more; pissed off or guilty.

Maybe that's why she's so closed off towards me. Towards everyone.

I saw a vulnerability of hers that wasn't mine to see.

It's not fair. None of this is fucking fair. She doesn't deserve any of this. And now she's going to either die or become the property of the Dark Lord tomorrow.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I feel an aching pulse in my chest. I have a feeling. A bad feeling. Something doesn't feel right. I smooth out my black dress on my tense figure, giving myself a final look in the mirror.

Today's the day. The moment I've been waiting for, trained for, tortured my whole life for.

"Asya dear, they've arrived." Narcissa calls out from downstairs.

Ever step I take down the staircase, I feel the weight on my chest get heavier and heavier.

_Breathe Asya._

I approach the Mahogany door where the meeting with be held, and take a deep breath before entering. I'm not familiar with this room, but its dark, dim, and despite there being a fireplace, cold. Everyone is already here, including Draco, and his parents, Blaise, Theo, and his father Mr. Nott. Everyone except for Voldy. They're all standing around the large dark brown table, rather than sitting, like they're waiting for me.

 _Love_ how _he_ can be late.

It's dead silent as I walk into the room, all eyes hesitantly on me. I can already feel the tension in the room. Everyone in here wants to kill me. Literally.

I glance at the empty seat at the table before a chair turns around slowly and dramatically, revealing the bald head of the man who I will have to devote my whole existence to.

Voldy.

He looks more intimidating in person. Inhumane. His skin, chalk-white and pale, devoid of colour; translucent with green and blue veins that appear from beneath his skull-like face, continuing all the way down the rest of his body. Wow, he _really_ doesn't have a nose. Just two slits for nostrils; looks like a snake. He's sitting down but his figure looks tall and slender, while his fingers are abnormally long.

"Well well well." His cold voice trembles slightly. He's weak, I can tell. Still recovering from his return. "Asya." I cringe as my name slips off his tongue with ease.

I lower my gaze from him, bowing my head down to him "my lord."

I'll admit I'm a little anxious. I can block my thoughts from anyone. But with him, I'm not sure. He could be reading my thoughts at this very moment. Picking through each memory; the good, the bad, the painful. He could figure me out in a single glance if he wanted to. Knowing every fear and vulnerability of mine.

"Have a seat." He signals to the empty seat, just across from Draco. I comply, and everyone else sits after I do.

Strange.

"My devoted followers, we have great matters to discuss, and a lot to _take care of,_ this evening." I hear Bellatrix let out a crazed cackle.

She's a fucking lunatic, but I love her. I've kept track of all the articles of her while she was in Azkaban.

He continues speaking, with a newspaper folded in his veiny hand. "Someone has been corrupting the minds of Wizarding children. Infesting them with revolting ideologies that I simply cannot allow." He levitates a woman to the table. It's Professor Burbage. She looks near to her death. Cuts on her face, a bloody temple, staring blankly at the ceiling in fear. _**"Last week Professor Burbage wrote an impassioned defence of Mudbloods in the Daily Prophet. Wizards, she says, must accept these thieves of their knowledge and magic. The dwindling of the purebloods is, says Professor Burbage, a most desirable circumstance.... She would have us all mate with Muggles... or, no doubt, werewolves...."** _His eyes trail off the newspaper, to me.

_Mind your thoughts Asya, you never know if he's reading them._

"Asya." He calls my name. "What do you think of this... _behaviour_?" He observed my every move, waiting for me to break under his intimidating gaze.

If I tell the truth, I'm dead, if I don't tell the truth, I could also very much end up dead. There's no winning with him.

"It's unacceptable." I lie. Truthfully, I really couldn't give two shits.

"And should this _unacceptable_ behaviour be punished?"

"Yes, my lord." His ice blue eyes sparkle at my comment.

"Do you hear that, my _loyal_ followers? She thinks the professor should be punished." I hear everyone start mumbling things to each other, before laughing mischievously. Everyone except for Narcissa and Draco. "Silence!" The room silences and he turns to face me again. "Do you always punish those who wrong you, Asya?"

I take a quick glance at Dolohov and Lucius, both of their eyes on the table, not daring to look up. "Yes, my lord."

"And what would be an adequate punishment for Professor Burbage?"

I look at her body; she's already been punished. The only other thing left to do is "death."

He closes his eyes for a moment, relishing my response. "Ahhhh. Music to my ears."

I hear the woman whimper quietly while looking at Snape, who happens to look sickly pale. Almost like he's... nervous. " ** _Severus, please. We were friends._** "

"Avada Kadavra!" A green beam of light flashes out of his wand; the woman drops dead in the middle of the table, right in front of Draco and I, eyes wide open as a single tear drops down her bloody cheekbone. I look at Draco and notice him gulping but masking his emotions, just like me. If it weren't for this potion, I'd have passed out by now. " _ **Nagini, dinner.**_ "

The large green snake slithers across the table, before pouncing on her, devouring her whole.

"Well, now that _that's_ been _dealt_ with, shall we get on with the ceremony?"

After Nagini finishes up, she slithers over to me, tilting its head side to side, observing me from close up.

Why is it looking at me like that?

Yep, I knew it. Voldy's probably going to have his _pet_ eat me too.

She bows her head to me before leaving to her Master's side.

"Looks like Nagini likes you." He says, stroking her scaly skin. "Parseltongue. What a rare dialect to learn, yet so useful in times of... need." He glances up at me. He knows.

He curls his index finger in a 'come hither' motion, and I stand, walking towards him as he rises from his seat. "Your arm." He orders me, taking out his wand. I roll up my sleeve, revealing the only pure thing left of me, the skin on my left forearm. He pokes his wand into my flesh, whispering an incantation " _morsmordre."_

The tip of his wand lights up, releasing a stabbing pain through my arm. I try my best not to show my pain but can't help squirming a little, letting an uncomfortable breath from my nose. My eyes prickle, blurring with tears that threaten to spill, but I don't let them. They haven't spilt in years.

"How wonderful... Another great, young mind, carrying my mark."

I trail my fingers over the mark but it's still feels raw to the touch.

"You are not a Karkaroff, you are Asya. I shall expect the loyalty that I haven't received from your father, from you."

"Of course, my lord."

"I'm sure Severus informed you of the extra task I have for you, to prove your loyalty to me. If you wouldn't mind of course." He sneers at me. "Bring him in." He orders Pettigrew.

I turn my head to the door—

Holy. Shit.

I see the person that I've spent all this time running away from. "Elijah Barebone."

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

He looks worse than the photographs sent to me a few weeks back. More beaten up, unrecognizable from his busted face as his messy brown hair blocks his dark blue eyes. My heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest. "Asya, you remember Elijah Barebone, don't you?"

I inhale through my nose, before responding. "Yes." I try my best not to waver my voice, answering sternly.

"What would be an adequate punishment for _him_?" He searches my expression. He knows. He knows everything. He's the one who sent me the pictures of _him_. He's the one who's been torturing him this whole time.

But why?

"Well?" He waits for my response.

I don't know.

"Perhaps you need a little motivation to help guide you in making your decision." I try hard not to look at _him_ behind me. Voldy towers over me, cupping my chin lightly, and turning my head side to side to examine me.

I feel my mind clouding in a mix of thoughts and emotions, before a sharp pain shoots through the back of my head to my temples.

He's trying to get in.

_Put up your walls Asya._

"You've trained her well, Severus." He grabs my wrist, trailing his fingers down my veins. I feel blood rushing, hearing my palpitations. "But not well enough." He drops my arm. "You're under the influence." He knows about the potion. Shit.

"My lor—" Snape tries to intervene.

He raises his hand to silence him. "Kill or be killed?" He looks into my eyes, wanting one answer and one answer only.

_"Kill or be killed."_

_The bath._

_The voice in my head._

_Drowning._

_It was him._

"Which one." He looks at me sternly, testing my answer.

"Kill." His expression turns into a smug look.

"Have you killed, Asya?"

He knows. He knows. He's doing this on purpose. Why is he doing this in front of everyone?

"Yes." I hear Bellatrix cackle in the back, but I'm too focused on my pacing heart, as this soulless devil breaks me apart piece by piece.

"Do you know what the greatest weakness is?" He pauses for a brief moment before continuing. "Not dealing with the past. It always interferes with your future plans. That's why, you must face it, and get rid of it."

He places both hands on either side of my head, looking deeply into my eyes before an immense pressure crashes down on my skull, like he's trying to break through it. He wants to break down my walls. To read me. I won't let him.

In an instant, images of my mother flash through my mind. Her tears. Her lifeless body on the ground. Her blood. On _my_ hands.

Then my body submerged in a snake pit.

My numerous recoveries.

My screams.

My father's laugh of enjoyment at my torment.

 _His_ tortures.

Elijah.

The person who destroyed it all for me.

"Enough." I say lowly but he continues. Too entertained by my thoughts.

In an instant, the thoughts transfigure into something different. Something I've never experienced before. I'm creating false memories in hopes that he'll believe them. He pulls away, looking at me in astonishment, before he breaks out in laughter, Bellatrix following after him.

"How... extraordinary." He takes his wand out and lifts my chin up with the tip of it. "Who are you?"

_Huh?_

"Asya—"

"Who are _you_?" I look at him confused. Why does he have to speak in morse code? Just tell me what you want.

I thought I would be getting marked up today, but it's turning into a therapy session.

"I'm not sure I understand, my lord."

He stares at me carefully, narrowing his eyes at me, before changing the subject. "Are you ready to give up your past, for your future? To be loyal to me, to yourself, living a powerful, _honourable_ life?"

Apparently, being a Death Eater is _honourable_.

 _Okay_.

"Yes, my lord." I reply.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, my lord." I repeat. He uses his wand to drag Elijah to my feet.

"What should his punishment be?"

He ruined me. He destroyed the only piece of me left. _He's_ the reason why I'm like this.

He deserves everything coming to him.

_He deserves it Asya._

"Death."

I can feel everyone's gaze on me.

"Death." He repeats after me, walking behind Elijah, lifting his head up with his bare hands to look at me. "So be it. Kill him, Asya."

_Kill him._

"Not yet." I bring everyone's attention back on me.

"Not yet?" He furrows his non-existent brows.

"No. I would like a moment with him first."

"Asya." I hear Snape call out in a warning tone.

"Please." I insist.

"Very well." Voldy walks towards me, looking down on me "five minutes."

That's all I need.

Everyone leaves the room, closing the door, leaving behind _him_ and I before I cast _Muffliato,_ turning around to face _him._

"Never would I have thought I'd see you down on your knees before me." I look into his swollen, bloodshot blue eyes.

"You're not going to speak?" I inch towards him, crouching down to face him at eye level. "Answer. Me." I enunciate each word.

"Precious." He croaks out with his weak voice. Even his voice brings shivers down my spine. All the memories flash through my mind.

I grab him by the collar of his shirt, bringing his face close to mine. "why are you still after me?"

He smiles through his drowsy eyes. "You're mine."

"I belong to no one. I am not a pet that you can train and punish."

He hums at my retort. "You're alive because of me."

"I am alive because of _me_. You did nothing but ruin my life."

"I taught you to be strong."

"You taught me to be ruthless!"

He starts laughing manically.

He's making my job to kill him a lot easier.

"Are you forgetting what you were before me?" He snickers at me. "Helpless, broken, _pathetic_. You were weak. _I_ taught you to withstand your torture. _I_ taught you to use your mind to compel people. _I_ taught you to defend yourself. Without me, you'd be lying in a grave, next to your father." He starts laughing again. "Right, he doesn't have one."

"I'm starting to regret letting you speak, maybe I should cut off your tongue."

"Do it, your loss."

"No, _your_ loss."

"Are you sure about that? I know a lot of things about a lot of people. Things that might come of great use, my precious."

_My precious._

_Fuck._

"You're bluffing."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You'll never know now."

"Stop playing games. Tell me."

"It's not like it'll benefit me. What will I get out of telling you anything?"

"More time before you die." I smile at him, evilly.

"Are you still taking that potion?"

"Stop changing the subject."

"Quite the contrary, _that_ is the subject."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you're smart, you'll lower your dosage gradually before completely cutting yourself off from it."

"Why would I do that?" I cross my arms over my chest.

"The potion's holding you back from your truth."

"What truth? My fucking traumas. This potion is the only reason I'm standing here right now rather than lying in Saint Mungos or at the bottom of the Black Lake."

"Cut the dramatics precious, you know I always know best when it comes to your life."

"You don't know shit. You're just buying yourself time."

"You're right, I am. But I'm not lying." I pull out my wand before he speaks again "the mark on the back of your neck, Asya."

The deathly hallows mark on the back of my neck. I've had my whole life. It's hidden, only Elijah and I can see it.

"That mark will change everything for you."

"Oh for fucks sake." I raise my wand before he grips my wrist with his frail, bruised hand. "Don't touch me!"

"Don't be a fool! For years I've tried to unleash the power you hold. You're an idiot for leaving my side."

"Leaving you was the best decision I fucking made! You ruined me! You took away my life! Both you and my fucking father and the rest of these people that were sitting at this table pretending they didn't torture me for years! You forced me to kill! Forced me to take away the only person that treated me like I was a girl, and not a fucking weapon!" I grab him by his collar, lowering my voice "I watched my father take a life in front of my eyes at ten. I shed blood at fourteen. I killed _her_ at seventeen."

"She didn't love you!"

"And you did?!"

"You know everything I did was because I cared for you. _Everything_. She was using you."

"She was my mother!"

"She was not your mother. She never saw you as her child! She was going to kill you."

"You're lying."

"I am not. Your mother was just as bad as your father, if not worse. She used you and your weak emotions to manipulate you. You did everything she wanted. Everything. You didn't even question it. She never loved you. She just used you."

"Shut up."

"She wanted to escape. She never loved you, or your father, in fact the whole marriage was a sham."

"Shut. Up."

"She wanted your inheritance. Your father left her nothing. The only way she could get that inheritance was by killing you."

"Shut up!"

"I helped you, Asya! I took care of you, and was ready to sacrifice my own life for you. Just like right now."

" _You_ almost took my life!"

"I never did anything you couldn't handle."

Now _I_ start laughing manically. "I was unconscious for a month!"

"Your torture made you stronger! You will see this when the time comes. But as long as you keep supressing yourself with that stupid potion you will always be weak Asya."

"You are going to die Elijah. A lonely, painful, death. And then, that fucking snake is going to consume your remains, and shit you out like the piece of shit you are."

He ignores my comment. "Don't trust anyone Asya. Don't be weak. Stop taking that potion and face your truth." He takes out a crumpled paper from his pocket, shoving it into my hand.

"What is this?"

" _This_ is your answer. Show this to that headmaster of yours, he knows everything. You were born to be loyal to no one Asya. No one but yourself. The only way you can do that, is by listening to what I've told you today. For once, just listen."

"You can't just do tha—"

"My task is done. I've guided you, trained you, and told you what you need to know. But know that everything I did. Everything I do. It's always been for you."

His task? What task?

"Why now? Why are you throwing all of this on me now?!"

"There's a time for everything."

"I fucking hate you. I hate how even when you're about to get the fuck out of my life, you still manage to ruin it."

"Use that rage, and kill me Asya. They'll be back soon."

"Fuck!" I pace around the room running my hands through my hair.

This is too much. All too fucking much.

"Do it!" He yells.

"Give me a fucking moment!"

"You don't have a fucking moment! They'll be back any minute!"

"You know even after the hell you put me through, I'm still struggling to take your life."

"Pathetic." He scoffs at me. "Clearly my efforts have been useless. You can't take a life to save yourself. You can't do anything. You're weak."

"Shut the fuck up."

"You couldn't even kill your mother without me having to use the _imperius_ curse on you."

"Elijah shut up!"

"Now you're hiding behind a potion because you're too weak to deal with your problems. You're a pathetic bitch who can't do anything right. A disappointment of a daughter. Unloved, lonely, just like your—"

 _"Avada Kadavra!"_ A green light flashes through the tip of my wand.

And right on cue the doors open revealing Voldy and his followers.

"It's done, my lord."

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I can't stop thinking about what Karkaroff is doing right now.

Even at a table filled with death eaters, with the Dark Lord standing in front of her, she's so fucking stubborn.

She said she's killed someone.

Karkaroff _killed_ someone.

Just like me.

Every second she's in my life, I figure out something new.

"It's time, my lord." Dolohov's been keeping track of time, desperate for Karkaroff to fail.

The doors open to Karkaroff standing over a body.

 _His_ dead body.

"It's done, my lord." Karkaroff stares numbly. She looks free of guilt, and pain. Like she didn't just kill someone. Maybe she's gotten used to it too. Maybe she's had to learn to get used to it.

"Nagini." The Dark Lord directs his snake to the body, getting rid of it, before everyone takes a seat again, like nothing happened.

I take occasional glances at Karkaoff. She looks unbothered. Even when she was getting the mark, she was trying hard to hold back her pain. It's just a matter of time before she breaks down.

"Our time has almost come. Harry Potter will be destroyed. The Wizarding World will be ruled by me. Of course, this isn't possible without getting rid of our interferences." Everyone looks at each other, questioningly. "Albus Dumbledore shall die." He glances at Karkaroff and I. "You both will make sure of this."

It was at this moment, everything changed. For the better, and for the worse.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

It's been a couple days since the ceremony. I'll be going back to Hogwarts in two days. I haven't been able to sleep. Not because of my night terrors; I'm still taking the potion. But because of everything that happened. I keep replaying his death in my mind. His words. _Him_.

I've dreamt of killing Elijah ever since he forced me to kill her. To take my vengeance on him once and for all. He made me kill my mother that day. Stripped me of my control, my free will. Since then, I've always done everything to keep my control. I wouldn't let anyone else take it away from me.

But now, I feel it's inevitable.

Before he died, he gave me a photograph of a young man. It looks old, from at least eighty years ago.

_"Show this to that headmaster of yours, he knows everything."  
_

Of course, he knows everything. How come everyone knows everything about me, except for me?

I thought I had my whole life under control. .

But I don't.

It's all a lie. Everything

_"She wanted to escape. She never loved you"  
_

_"She wanted your inheritance."_

_"The only way she could get that inheritance was by killing you."_

He was lying. It was a lie.

Right?

Or not.

I thought that maybe one person in this world cared for me. I thought that person was my mother. But then again, no one has ever cared, why would _she_? We never really did have a mother-daughter bond. She was just kinder to me, compared to everyone else. It makes sense why she would want my inheritance. Why she waited this long. She'd kill me once I turned eighteen, and take everything. Of course.

Am I really _this_ horrible? Is it really that hard for someone to care for me?

To love me?

Fuck everyone.

I don't need anyone in my life. No one except for me and this stupid bottle of fire whisky that I most definitely did _not_ steal from one of the liquor cabinets downstairs.

All this time I've been trying to avoid my emotions. I don't know how much longer I can. My heart hurts. It hurts so bad I just want to let go. I want it all to go away. All the pain. The guilt. I want it all gone. I want it to stop.

Every day I spend drinking this potion, avoiding my feelings, I'm killing myself. I've been so afraid of others breaking me, I haven't realized that I've been the one breaking me.

"I was wondering how you've been coping lately." I turn to see Draco out on his balcony, next to mine, taking a seat in the same position as me.

Always the fucking balcony.

"I'm not coping. I'm enjoying myself." I scowl at him.

"Strange way of enjoying yourself." He mutters.

"Forgive me, I forgot, only _you_ are allowed to drink out on the balcony."

He ignores my comment. "Does it hurt. The mark?"

"No." I lie. It stings like a bitch.

"That's what I said too when I got mine." He says in an amused tone. "You'll get used to the pain after a while. Some days you'll forget its even there. Other days you just want to take a knife and cut your arm off."

"How deep." I mutter sarcastically, taking a drink from the bottle.

"You know, every day you manage to surprise me. Who knew you were a murderer?" He sneers.

I glare at him in annoyance. "Look, if this is your way of trying to rile me up to my breaking point, you'll lose in the end."

"'I'm not trying to break you, Karkaroff. But eventually you'll have to admit to yourself that things aren't alright. Even if you can't admit it to others."

"What, you a therapist now?" I laugh out. "Take your own advice, Malfoy. You've got a lot of issues of your own. Like the bruises you come home with often. What's up with those, mhmm? Or the fact that you sit up here alone, drinking the nights you get those bruises. Maybe _you_ need to admit some things to yourself. Or others."

I notice him clenching his jaw, giving me an enraged glare. "I've admitted to things way more than you. You and I both know that. The only problem is that you're fucking stubborn."

"Yeah, well so are you." I snap back at him.

"Always something to say back."

"Because I'm always right."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." I respond in a sing-song tone.

"Fuck, you're such a child." He groans in distress.

" _I'm_ a child?"

"Yes, you."

"You're the child. _You_ insisted on starting this whole game for what? Because you wanted to prove your masculinity?" I pout at him.

"You're so fucking stupid Karkaroff."

"No, _you're_ stupid." I take a big swig from my fire whisky, turning to face him fully, scooting closer to the railing so I'm near his side. "You had me that night when you ' _saved_ ' me from drowning in the bath tub. I told you to fuck me. You didn't. _Then_ , you waited months until you finally fucking kissed me, and then you told me to get out." I laugh out loud before continuing. "What do you want? What else can I give you? Why couldn't you just take me that night when I was naked and get it over with? Why couldn't you just kiss me for a moment longer a few nights ago and let me look into your fucking eyes instead of kicking me out? Why are you so fucking confusing?" I huff out a breath, going on. "It's like one second, I think that someone in this world actually cares. And that someone might be you. And then all of a sudden, all those thoughts come crashing down because you'll pull some stupid stunt like kicking me out of your room, or kissing that girl at the party."

"Karkaroff—"

"No." I raise my hand to silence him. "I'm not listening to your bullshit anymore. You wanted to make a fool out of me, yeah? Well, you fucking did. I feel like shit for not pulling back from that kiss before you. But I want so badly to go back to that night again. Not so I can pull back before you." I take a shaky breath. "But so I can hold on for a moment longer, in hopes that you won't let go." I look away from him, staring down at my feet. "Everyone fucking let's go. I just don't want that everyone to be you."

"Kar—"

"Shut up for one fucking second! I don't want your pity. I hate when people pity me. I don't want anything from you... Just—just please give up. Leave me be... I can't have you around me anymore. That's obviously inevitable thanks to our task now, but just try to stay away. Don't talk to me unless necessary. I won't beg... I can't. You were right, control is the only thing I have. I value it. I can't lose that control. I'm—I'm scared to, because I have nothing to lean back on if I lose my self." I rub my face vigorously with my hands, frustrated, looking up at him "Please... tell me that everything that has happened between us is just a part of your game. Tell me so that I can act accordingly, because every day I spend hearing you—seeing you; I just can't handle it. So just tell me if it's all a game or not." I let out a big exhale, not realizing that I went on a huge rant.

 _This_ is why I don't get drunk.

He looks at me in astonishment from what I said, unsure of how to respond. "I can't." He mumbles out, looking away from me.

I can't.

I fucking can't.

What do you mean _'I cant?!'_

I narrow my eyes at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Well then fuck you, you selfish bastard. You're keeping me on a fucking leash and can't even grow a pair to admit that you either want me or you don't."

He raises a brow at my comment, _clearly_ holding himself back from reacting aggressively. "Neither can you."

"Why do I have to admit it. Why can't you?"

"Why can't you?"

I take another large sip, before throwing the bottle off the balcony, letting it shatter on the cobblestone below. "Woops." He looks at me angrily and opens his mouth to say something but cuts himself off. "The only thing I'll admit, is that I need to be punished for that." I point at the bottle below.

"Go to bed, Karkaroff." He demands me.

"You're not going to punish me?" I laugh out. "You lost another chance."

"Karkaroff, you're drunk. Go to bed."

"You can't tell me what to do." I point at him.

"It's _my_ house, you stay in _my_ room, on _my_ mattress, and you're drunk on _my_ fire whisky. So yes, I can."

"Mine mine mine. Everything is Mine. Your body is my body. I'm a Malfoy, I have everything." I mimic him, lowering my voice. "For fucks sake, get over yourself." I lie down in a starfish position on the balcony, and a heavy breeze blows away my blanket. "Fuck! Now my blanket left me too... I have nothing." I groan in sorrow.

"Karkaroff."

"Lonelyyyy. I'm Miss lonelyyyy. I have no blankeyyyy, for my ownnnn." I sing out loud, curling up in a ball, hiding my head in my chest to protect myself from the cold, before I hear him groan.

"Oh, for fucks sake." His door slides open and shuts. He left me. He left me too. Everyone leaves me.

Good. If he can't handle me at the worst of times, he doesn't deserve to handle me at my best.

 _Bitch_.

Holy shit it's cold.

Is that snow?

I hear the door slide open. My door. Before I know it, a blanket is wrapped around me and I'm getting picked up. I recognise that scent from anywhere.

"Malfoy?"

He doesn't answer me.

He slides my door open, and closes it, before pulling the covers and gently placing me in bed.

It's dark, but I can still see those beautiful eyes clearly.

He fixes the pillow under my head, and tucks me in, turning to leave.

"Malfoy?" I croak out, my throat feeling dry and eyes feeling drowsy. I see his figure stop at the door in the dark. "Can you light one of the candles on the nightstand. I can't sleep in the dark." He releases a heavy exhale through his nose, turning around. I would do anything to look at his eyes. I could stare at them all day. They're all I need to feel a tiny bit of comfort.

He takes out his wand, lighting it up, and giving me a clear view of his appearance, before casting a protection charm so a bubble forms over it, protecting the rest of the room from catching on fire if it falls.

The last thing I hear before I fall to a deep slumber is him. And I want it to stay that way.

"Goodnight, Karkaroff."

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I woke up this morning, to his scent. Only to find myself wrapped in his blanket.

I remember bits and pieces from last night. Enough to know that we didn't do anything. Enough to know that I acted like a complete idiot. Enough to know that he carried me to my bed and tucked me in. I've never been tucked in before. But I liked it. Or maybe I liked it because he did it.

I'm never getting drunk again.

At least not around him.

"Asya?" Narcissa calls out in front of my door. "May I come in?"

"Just a moment." I spit out the toothpaste in the sink, rinsing my mouth out before opening the door.

"Good morning dear, I hope you've slept well." She smiles at me graciously.

"Yes, thank you."

She passes me a tray with breakfast, "I wanted to see how you were doing, so I thought I'd bring this up myself."

"Please, come in." I invite her in, placing the tray on my night stand as we both take a seat on the edge of my bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing alright." I give the most believable response I can. Then again, how believable can it be after I just got marked up and killed someone.

She tucks in a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I too was like you back in the day. Ambitious, headstrong. So headstrong I didn't let my emotions get to me. I realized later on due to life's circumstances that emotions are what make you unique. They help you grow. Make you stronger."

That's a nice way of saying they make you weak.

She grabs my hands, holding them between hers "it's alright to not be alright. Don't think you don't have anyone to care for you. You do. You have me." She sighs, before continuing. "From now on, if you'll let me, consider me a mother figure to you. Because I see you as my daughter."

Mother.

My mother died almost two years ago but I officially killed her the day I found out the truth, a few days ago.

I just look at her. I don't know what to say. Truthfully, even if I say 'okay,' I wouldn't be able to see her as a mother figure. I don't trust her enough to do so.

She instantly pulls me into a hug, leaving me feeling conflicted.

I've never been hugged.

Especially not like this.

Not ever.

It feels... strange.

But good.

I hesitantly pat her back lightly. I'm not really sure how to react. "I'm sorry. I'm so _so_ sorry for everything. For Lucius. For what happened."

_What?_

She pulls away from me, "why are you apologizing?" I ask her, softly.

"The penseive."

The penseive?!

Which pens—

_Fuck._

"Draco found it from his father's office and opened it. He saw everything."

Bastard didn't take it from his father, he took it from me.

And he took it the night we kissed.

"I know my apologies are meaningless, especially since it's too late. But words can't even describe the disgust I feel towards his actions."

"No worries, the past is the past." I give her a fake smile.

"Not for me. I will not forgive him. Ever." She gets up from my bed and brushes down her dress before her eyes catch something on my bed. "Draco will be back home later tonight. If you need anything, let me or the house elves know." She smiles at me and leaves.

Why did she mention Draco?

Asya you dumbarse!

His blankets on my bed, that's why. Great, now she thinks I've slept with her son.

I've never stooped this low in my life.

_"You lied to me!"_

_"Silence boy! You dare disrespect me to defend that girl?!"_

_"Everything I do is for this family."_

_"What does torturing her do for this family?"_

_"Believe me, she benefitted from it."_

So _that's_ what the yelling was about.

 _That's_ what was in the penseive?

All this time, Draco knew. He knew everything.

Last night was out of pity. He pities me.

Narcissa coming into my room this morning giving me a mother-daughter talk. That was pity. _She_ pity's me.

Is this what it's come down to?

Pity?

Is that why he kissed me? To get the pensieve off of me?

But how would he know I had the penseives?

I open the drawer of the nightstand and see only one penseive, Snapes.

Could I have dropped it in his room?

Fuck!

All I can do right now is sit here, drowning in a billion thoughts, while smelling his blanket.

Why am I smelling his blanket?!

I toss it to the corner of my bed, trying _so_ hard to ignore the fact that it smells _so_ good.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about everything.

Every. Single. Thing.

Voldy wants Draco and I to fix a stupid vanishing cabinet to let Death Eater's into the school. Like that's not enough, he wants the headmaster dead too. That means I'll have to find out whatever Elijah was telling me about, from him. The task needs to be completed by the end of the year.

That's five months away.

A lot can happen in five months.

I begin to doze off before I hear Draco's door slam shut.

He's back.

He's going to answer my questions tonight.

I take his blanket with me and storm off to his room in my night gown.

I knock on his door, but walk in before he can answer me.

"Get out!" He turns around and his enraged eyes soften at my sight before turning angrier. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your dramatics tonight Karkaroff, get out."

"Here's your blanket, dick head." I throw is at him, as it drapes over his head before he throws it off forcefully on the ground.

"Watch your tone with me." He takes a step close to me, trying to intimidate me.

" _You_ watch _your_ tone with me." I take a step towards him.

"Oh, for fucks sake." He groans, storming off to his balcony and slamming the glass door shut.

_Dramatic bitch._

I storm after him, slamming the glass door shut behind me, even harder.

"Karkaroff get out." He grips tightly on the railing, his knuckles turning white.

He's angry.

Good, because I'm angrier.

"What did you see in that pensive?" I blurt out.

He stays quiet for a moment before responding "Doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter? Your mother apologized to me this morning for what was in there. I'm not even going to begin on how you got in in the first place—"

He looks over his shoulder at me, cutting me off. "How did _you_ get it? Oh right, snooping around my father's office."

I cross my arms over my chest. "How did _you_ get it? It was on _me_ the whole time."

"Clearly not." He scoffs, looking away from me. "You dropped it."

"I never drop things."

"Well, there's a first for everything Karkaroff. Now if you're done with your nightly rant, get the fuck out."

"No. No, I'm not done. What the fuck did you see?"

He turns to me in quick motion, eyes burning flames "you know what I fucking saw?" He sneers at me, before taking step towards me, towering over me. "I saw my father use the _Cruciatus_ curse on you before almost killing you with _Sectumpsempra_. And I saw your father standing right next to him, with a smug look on his face, not concerned in the slightest that his daughter almost died. I saw your pain." He comes closer to me, leaning down "I saw how pathetic you, your family, and your whole life is. _That's_ what I saw."

"Pathetic?" I start laughing. "You know what's even more pathetic? The fact that I found you lying on the bathroom floor, helpless, after fucking Potter, of _all_ people attacked you. The fact that I didn't even get a thank you after spending two days healing you. The fact that you always get beat up and drink the pain away." I tilt my chin up more, to clearly meet his angry gaze. "The fact that you judge me for being weak, when you're exactly like me. You run away from everything. You _are_ the definition of pathetic." I turn to walk leave his balcony, but he pulls me by my left forearm, causing me to groan out in pain from my fresh mark. After noticing where he's holding, he loosens his grip, and his gaze softens a bit. "Let go!" I push his chest, and this time, he's the one groaning in pain.

That shouldn't have even hurt. It was a light shove.

It shouldn't have hurt unless he's hurt.

I lift up his shirt to see a big bruise on his chest and abdomen.

"What the hell happened?" My eyes flicker between his eyes and his bruises.

He immediately pulls his shirt back down and storms into his room, as I walk in after him and pull his arm. "You're not leaving." I warn him.

"No, but _you_ are."

"No, I'm not." I push his back on a wall and lift up his shirt, looking up to see a storm of emotions flooding his eyes. "Just relax for a fucking moment."

I graze my cold hand over the warm bruises on his snow-white skin. I've been practicing healing without a wand; I'm an expert now... Almost. The marks fade away, but his old scars still remain. Maybe if I touched him for longer. If he _let_ me touch him for longer, I could fade those too.

"Why do you heal me?" He asks me softly, looking down at me, with an expression I can't read.

I look up at him, not sure how to respond. "Because I like healing." You. I like healing you.

"That's the only reason?" He tilts his head, searching for more.

No.

"Yes."

"Don't." He steps closer. "Don't heal me again."

I take a step forwards, the tips of our feet touching slightly. "I heal you willingly." I stare into his grey eyes as they light up in memory. "I will _always_ heal you willingly."

_"I deal with you willingly. I will always deal with you willingly."_

"Why?" His soft voice goes quiet.

I take a moment to respond, trying not to give too much away. "The same reason why you _deal_ with me willingly." This was the easiest way to admit everything without actually admitting everything.

But what _is_ there to admit?

I turn to leave but his comment stops me "I have more wounds. You know—to heal... Since you like healing so much..."

He wants me to heal him.

I struggle to get the words out, before he speaks up again. "Never mind, I just remembered I have some Bruisewort Balm left, I'll use that." He walks towards the bathroom to get it but I turn around and hold his hand, pulling him towards me.

"I'll heal you."

When he turns to face me, my heart stops. Three words, and the cold gaze that I've struggled to break through for months, softens.

He needed to hear those three words.

And so do I.

He sits back on the bed with his shirt off, the soft candlelight in his room revealing all his scars and imperfections.

Even his imperfections are perfect to me.

"Show me where your wounds are." I sit next to him on the bed, and he turns around; his back facing me, revealing the large bruise on his lower back. It's not small like the other ones. It almost covers the entire half of his lower back.

I place my hand over it gently, causing him to shudder slightly at my cold touch, goosebumps prickling against his soft skin. I watch the darkness of the bruise, fade away into a clean, pure canvas on his skin.

"Any other wounds?"

His head peaks up from looking down at his lap, "They're not visible. But it hurts—on the inside."

"Can you show me where?"

He turns to me and points to his left torso, "here."

I place my hand against his skin, and he tenses up, trying hard not to show his pain. I press down on it slightly to pin point the areas it hurts. "Ferula." I whisper a charm, bandaging any damage that he may have in his bones. "Does it still hurt?"

"Not anymore."

"Good." I get up from the bed but his voice stops me.

"There's more."

"Okay." I speak out breathlessly, realizing I've been holding my breath this whole time. "Where?"

He reaches out for me to put my hand in his, hesitantly, I do so, his warm touch, sparking with my cold. I burn out the fire within him while he melts the ice within me.

He pulls me a little closer, so that I'm hovering over him as he sits in the bed, one hand in his, while the other stays planted next to his thigh. He looks into my eyes, bringing my hand to his chest, just over his heart. "Here." He watches me carefully, as if to see if I'd pull away. But I don't. I won't.

He presses my hand more onto his chest, his hand over mine. "Do you feel that, Karkaroff?" His heart beat quickens under my touch. Little does he know, mine is beating just as fast right now.

"The heart palpitations." We both take a deep breath in at the same time. "I can't breathe at times. It hurts."

I can't breathe right now. It hurts.

"Since when have you been experiencing these palpitations?" I steady my voice.

"Since you." He breathes out

_Control yourself Asya._

Breathe. Breathe.

He clears his throat, realizing what he said "stress. You stress me out, Karkaroff, that's all."

Stress. That's all. Just stress.

"Stress" I clear my throat, noticing that my voice got quieter. "There's not much I can do, but you might want to refrain from your drinking. It's not going to ease the pain in your chest."

He doesn't answer me, and I notice him watching my mouth the whole time. Is he even listening? I clear my throat, and grab his attention "Right, I'll do that."

I trace my fingers along his scars on his abdomen, moving them up slowly to his chest. I see him swallow as his Adam's apple bobs, noticing him clench and release his jaw.

"Who did these to you?" I whisper.

"You." He laughs under his breath, referring to the scar on his chest.

"No, I mean these ones." I trail my fingers back to the scars on his abdomen.

"They're from Potter's _Sectumsempra_." He lies oh so effortlessly.

"I saw you shirtless before Potter, these scars were still here."

"Then I don't know, Karkaroff. I don't keep track of how I get each scar on my body. Too many to keep track of."

He's lying. He keeps track of everything.

But I won't push it. I won't insist. It'll only push him away from me, and right now, I'm perfectly content with where I am. Infront of him, looking into his eyes, with my fingers against his skin.

Instantly, I feel something break within me, unleashing this urge that I will most definitely regret later on during my four in the morning self-reflection thoughts.

I press my lips on the scar on his lower abdomen, and hear him release a shaky exhale. One by one, I place soft kisses against his scars, working my way up, giving a peck on the scar I gave him on his chest, before pulling back to look at him to see his eyes closed shut, as his soft pink lips are parted.

Look at me.

 _Please_.

I reach my hand to his face, touching the scar on the end of his brow, moving my face close to his, and leaving the soft touch of my lips on it. I cup his cheek with my hand, stroking it with my thumb, before moving it down to lightly touch the scar on the corner of his upper lip.

Today, I have no brain. Only a heart.

I lean down and press my lips on the corner of his mouth, against the scar, before he shifts his head. Suddenly, his lips are on mine.

This moment right here, is enough to wipe away a week's worth of my stress.

This kiss is different. It's not cautious like last time, to test if I'd pull away or not. It's lustful, passionate. He's hungry. And so am I. He tilts his head, bringing his hand to my hair, gripping on to it to pull me closer, deepening the kiss. His lips are desperate against mine, trying. to memorize them against his own, as if it's the last time they'll ever touch. The heated taste of peppermint makes me want more.

But he pulls away, getting up from his bed, distressed.

"Fuck." He whispers to himself, breathless from the fiery kiss we shared.

I was wrong. Maybe he really doesn't want this.

"Forget this ever happened." I try to maintain a calm tone, as I get up to leave, but my blood boils from anger. How can he disrespect me like this? Not once, but fucking twice.

He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "Nope, don't say a word." I turn the door knob but he traps me at the door, placing a hand on each side of me. I turn to face him, and he towers over me. "This become your new hobby now? Trapping me at doors." I snicker at him.

"Stay." His eyes flicker between mine and the door, unable to look at me completely, yet still wanting to.

"Karkaroff, stay. Karkaroff, leave. I want you. I don't want you. Make up your fucking mind already." I say calmly. But every part of me wants to scream in his face.

He finally grows the courage to look me completely in the yes. "I know what I want." He lowers his voice.

"You know what you want?" I repeat in a mocking tone.

He leans in, dragging his thumb down my bottom lip, leaning in a little more, smelling my scent off the pulse of my neck. "You're killing me." He whispers into the crook of my neck. "What are you doing to me?"

"Stop." I whisper, but I don't want him too.

"You're so fucking stupid." He says in a harsh tone, releasing a frustrated breath, and pulling away from me, pacing around the room. "Control is all I have. Just like you. But I don't have that when I'm around you Karkaroff. I can't fucking think straight."

"Malfoy—"

He points his finger at me. "I listened to your drunk bullshit last night, now you listen to mine." He angrily runs his fingers through his ruffled hair. "Every second of the fucking day you're in my fucking head." He pokes his temple roughly.

"And that's not even the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that I don't _want_ you out of my head." He stops pacing around and walks up to me, "Do you know how disgusted I feel knowing that I can't get you out of my head? Knowing that I can't touch anyone else with you corrupting my thoughts." He takes one final step closer to me, "Fuck— I can't even touch myself without thinking about you."

He tugs on the silk tie holding my robe, pulling it so it unties, revealing my night gown underneath. "And I hate you for it. I fucking hate you." His voice weakens, as he observes my body, tense at his presence.

He drops his head, letting our foreheads touch each other "I know what I want. I _have_ known what I want." He closes his eyes "I want you."

I want you.

"Let me touch you." He opens his eyes, pushing my hair away from my face and cupping my cheeks with both his hands, our foreheads still pressed against each other. "Let me make you feel good." He presses his lips against my forehead, speaking against it "Let me take care of you."

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

He looks in my eyes, but I turn my head to the side, avoiding his gaze. "I won't beg." I mumble quietly. He gently grabs my chin, turning me to look at him again but I don't give in.

"Look at me."

"No."

"Look at me." He says more sternly, and I finally look into his eyes. "You don't have to." He pauses, trying to regain the strength to say whatever he's about to say. He places his hands above my head. "I want you. All of you." He looks away for a moment, taking a deep breath in before speaking again; his voice sounding weary. "Please. I—I need this—you. I have no one. Just—just let me have you." He looks into my eyes with desperation.

I cup his cheek in my hand, stroking it with my thumb, causing him to lean into my touch. "Don't say it. You're going to regret it." I warn him quietly. He cups my cheek with his hand, like me, and my eyes close at his fingertips. "Too late." He whispers.

No.

"The game is over."

No.

"You win."

My eyes open up at his words, to see him looking down at me hopefully. "No." I shake my head "No, you're—you can't think straight."

"Karkaroff—"

"Tonight you—something happened tonight. The bruises. You're just saying that because you're hurt and desperate and vulnerable. You don't mean it."

"Karkaroff."

"That—That's not fair. I'll forget you said anything, and we'll act like this game is still continuing. It _is_ still continuing. I won't let you say it when you're in _this_ state."

"Karkaroff!" He holds. my shoulder tightly, "It doesn't matter if its tonight. Or tomorrow night, or any other fucking night of the year. My decision won't change."

"No." I blurt out, furrowing my brows at him.

"No?" He looks at me confused, waiting for me to say something else, but I don't. "I tell you I want you—no I tell you I _need_ you, that I'll take care for you. Fuck—I fucking _beg_ for you, after months of—"

I crash my lips onto his, kissing him with everything I've been holding back, before speaking onto his lips "you're stupid, you're so fucking stupid." I kiss him again.

"I know." He mumbles breathily against my lips.

"Then take me." I pull away to look into his eyes. "Show me how much you want me. Show me what you feel."

"Yeah?" He breaths out, looking at me incredulously.

"Yeah." Before I can process what's happening, his lips melt with mine as he lifts me from my thighs, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He swipes everything off his desk with one hand, gently sitting me down on it. "I want to hear you tonight." He takes out his wand, pointing it to the door _"Muffliato."_ He casts the silencing charm "but only me." His leans in to kiss me again, his kisses become more and more aggressive, as he grazes his tongue lightly against my bottom lip, before he bites it, causing my lip to bleed. "Let me control you tonight."

"Malf—"

"Please." He looks at me sincerely. "Let me show you what you do to me. I'll take care of you, I promise."

_I promise._

Control. The only thing I have left. I need it. But I need him more.

_What is he doing to me?_

"You promise?" I stick my hand out for him to shake.

His gaze softens, and it's almost as if I see a small smile, before it wipes away, as he takes my hand to shake it "I promise." He kisses my hand. "How's your pain tolerance?" He looks between my eyes and my lips.

"Non-existent." I reply breathily.

He drags his thumb across my bleeding lip, "we'll see."

I open my mouth and suck on the tip of his thumb, biting down on it slightly while I maintain my eye contact with him. I hold his wrist, pulling it away from my mouth. "Fuck, Karkaroff." He breathes out, and leans back into my face, placing a gentle kiss on my lip, before sucking on my lower lip, trailing kisses down my jaw and neck.

"Have you any idea how long I've waited to hear you like this? See you," he kisses my stomach, "feel you," he kisses my left breast, "taste you," he presses a long kiss on my lips, sliding my panties to the side and slowly slipping two fingers inside me, make my breath shudder, bringing it to my mouth. "Taste how fucking delicious you are." I suck on his fingers, watching him watch my mouth and every reaction, before pulling them out. "You want me to show you what I feel, yeah? What you do to me?" He takes a pocket knife from his back pocket. "Are you sure, Karkaroff?" He flips it open, running the dull edge of the cold blade, along my cheek and jaw.

I nod my head but he pokes the tip of the knife slightly in my cheek, "use your words."

"Yes." breathe out heavily.

"Even if it hurts?" He tests me.

"Even if it hurts." A fiery spark lights up in his eyes, before a mischievous smirk forms on his face, as he leans down, placing his lips over my ear "If I do this. You are mine. Whether you like it or not. And I won't go easy." His hot breath tickles my ear, nibbing on my lobe before lifting his head up to meet my eyes, searching for the answer he desires.

"Fuck" I groan in frustration. "Take me now."

He groans, closing his eyes and tipping his head back at my response. "Such a dirty mouth."

He uses the sharp edge of the knife, to cut off the straps of my night gown, letting it drop to my waist, sliding it off my legs, and throwing it to the corner of the room. Leaving me sitting before him, vulnerable, as Eve must have appeared to Adam in the garden of Eden, except _I_ am the forbidden fruit.

His eyes travel my along my collar bones, breasts, and scars, trailing the blade over the pink flesh of them. "I don't want anyone to touch you." He kisses the scar on my torso "to hurt you." He kisses the one on my stomach "no one except for me." He plants a final kiss on the scar between my breasts, lifting his head back up to meet my eyes. "I will _kill_ them."

He pulls down my bottom lip with the blade of the knife. "Open."

I can't help but open my mouth and he brushes the cold metal along the center of my tongue, taking it out of my mouth and gliding the glacial, wet blade down the centre of my chest, moving to my nipple, causing me to gasp in pleasure. He laughs lowly at my suffering, "anticipation." He circles the metal around my hard nipple, "can do terrible things to a person."

He moves the blade down my chest, trailing my stomach, but I squirm in desperation, causing him to stop just above my belly button, poking the sharp tip slightly in my skin.

"If you move again, I'll have to make a mess. And I _really_ don't feel like cleaning up blood tonight." He keeps the knife lightly jabbed above my belly button, before placing a kiss over it. Every inch of me that hurts, he kisses. Even his pain is _so_ good.

I feel his hand caressing my thigh; his fingers move towards my inner thighs, to my crotch, feeling my wetness over my soaked panties. "Fuck." He mumbles.

"So fucking wet for me." He crouches down on the ground, kissing up my ankle, to my inner thigh, before planting a gentle kiss over the wet spot of the cotton, causing me to shudder. "I've missed your taste." He kisses it again. "so addicting." He grows impatient and lifts me off the desk, laying me down on his bed. He grazes his fingers on the hem of my panties "lift your legs." I lift my legs so that he can take them off of me, as he tosses them on the ground, prying my legs open to their utmost extension.

He starts trailing kisses on my inner thighs, before I feel a sharp, cold pain from the knife against my thigh. "What's your favourite fruit?"

"What?" I look down at him, narrowing my eyes in confusion.

"I don't like repeating myself." He pokes the knife in a little more, making me gasp. "Your favourite fruit."

"Um... strawberries?" I say hesitantly.

"Strawberries?" He tilts his head at me, snickering at my response, before shaking the knife at me. "Remember that, Karkaroff."

I tug on the waistband of his pants, urging him to take them off but he grabs my wrist tightly. "Don't touch me." He speaks lowly, moving the blade just outside of my pussy, watching me closely to see if he can intimidate me.

"I want you to feel the anticipation I've felt for so long." He blows on my pussy, teasing me with his cool, minty breath, arousing me more. "I want it to consume you until you can no longer take it anymore." He takes his two fingers, gliding them along my folds, lightly pinching my clit between them, before sliding them into me and taking them out.

He groans, relishing my taste on his fingertips, "sweet, like honey." My breath shudders at the touch of the knife. I _need_ him _in_ me. He notices my desperation, "say it." His eyes darken. "your safe word, Karkaroff. Say it."

_Strawberry._

"No." I breathe out, feeling nervous but so turned on. I want him. I want all of him.

His eyes light up, a smirk forming on his lips, "wrong answer."

I feel a stinging sensation on my inner thigh; blood rushing to my wound.

My pain tolerance is high due to obvious circumstances in my life. But this. This is what I want. The pain. The anticipation. I want to _feel_ again. And this is doing just that.

He finishes carving, as a feel a burning sensation fluttering in between my legs.

I _really_ hope he didn't carve a dick.

He places the knife on his night stand, and next thing I know, his warm tongue licks the blood threatening to spill from my thigh, looking up at me, watching my eyes watch his mouth, pulling away to speak. "So fucking stubborn." He looks down at his black sheets, slightly stained with my blood, but barely noticeable from the dark colour. "See, now you've made a mess, all because you didn't say your safe word." He looks up at me mischievously, before his tongue seeks ardor, gliding his tongue very _very_ slowly, across my wetness. I instantly arch my back at his touch, bucking my hips for more, but he pulls away, poking the blade of the pocket knife into my inner thigh. "Don't move, Karkaroff." He slowly moves his tongue along me again, before kissing me, flicking his tongue out, gently sucking on my pussy.

His tongue is so perfect. He's never touched me like this, yet he knows all my weak spots. He knows my body like it's his.

He lifts his head up, and looks at me knowing how much I want him at this moment, before spitting in my pussy, diving back down, as his warm tongue slides between my folds, gently licking and caressing me with it. The sensation drowns me with impetus, bringing the emotions I've numbed for so long, back to life. I release a muffled groan as I bite on my bottom lip. "Don't." He looks up at me from between my legs. "I want to hear how good I make you feel."

He leans in again, his hands gripping onto my hips, leaving white hands prints against my skin, that would surely bruise, as he gives me small licks, before giving me one long, and very slow one, making me desperate for more. I squirm under his touch but he tightens his hold on my hips, taking control. The tension between my legs builds, and he quickens his pace, before sliding his tongue inside me. "So—good." a moan pulls out from my chest, causing him to groan in satisfaction, the vibrations only causing me to moan louder. "So good." He repeats after me, mumbling between my legs, before he slips one finger into me. And then another; his tongue focusing on my swollen clit, nibbing and sucking on it.

My head drops back, sinking in the pillow as I feel a wave of pleasure role between my legs, fluttering in my stomach. "Watch me." He growls with his mouth still on me, and I obey, before completely devouring every single inch, worshipping me with his tongue. I don't come easily. Not unless it's my own touch. But the fact that he almost has me coming, with only his tongue, makes me want more. "Malfoy, I'm—gonna—" He pulls away, licking his bottom lip, honey and milk under his tongue after taking away my pleasure. " _This_ is how you make me feel." He pants out.

_Oh, fuck me._

The beautiful boy looks down at me with hunger, like I'm the only girl in the world. Starved. Deprived. Needing more.

He begged. _He_ begged _me_. But a part of me still can't give him full control. I need it. But I need him more.

"I—I can't beg—" I struggle to articulate, my words getting quieter.

"I know..." He strokes my hair "You don't have to. Not tonight. You can trust me _tonight_." He would rather give up his own control to pleasure me. Maybe I _don't_ know him. "But _only_ tonight." _Aaand_ he's back.

He wastes no time in removing everything, revealing his erect dick, begging to mold our bodies and our souls in one.

He teases me, grazing his tip along my entrance. That alone is enough to make my whole-body collapse. "Fuck me like I'm yours. I want you... All of you." I whisper, looking into his eyes. Eye contact; a deadly weapon, enough to catch the soul on fire. Enough to destroy you. In an instant, my words capture him, alluring him into a dark hypnotic state. I want to drown in that darkness with him.

He immediately pins my hands above my head, into his silk black sheets, looking down at me with a growing desire. "You _are_ mine." He thrusts into me without warning, forcing my soul to descend with his touch, into an immense abyss. We're like waves from two different seas, bound to clash, as he breaks down the walls I built, with his mere existence. Each thrust, breaking me more and more. "So—tight—fuck." He grunts with every movement.

I claim his body as he claims mine, marking his porcelain back, tracing trails of the red moon into him, with the force of my nails. "Make—me—bleed, Karkaroff." He grunts out breathily with each stroke. I draw my nails deeper into his flesh, using his blood to paint my pleasure onto his canvas. He savours my bittersweet touch, curling his fingers around mine, sinking my hands into the mattress, as he plunges deeper inside me, rougher than ever before, forcing a sob to erupt from my throat. "Louder—Karkaroff. I want to hear how—much you want—me." He lifts my legs over his shoulders, slamming into me faster; pure lightening running through my veins as I feel myself tightening around him as he hits my G-spot.

"Holy—shi—" I cut myself off with a mumbly moan; my eyes roll to the back of my head, as I find myself biting onto his shoulder.

Suddenly, silence fills the room, and he pulls back to look at me, tilting his head in awe "did you just... bite me?"

I look at him with my lips slightly parted, not knowing how to respond.

_Did he not like that?_

"Do it again." He whispers, looking at my lips.

I search his face for any sign of seriousness. He really _is_ serious. And at this very moment, there is a devil in his eyes that persuades me to fall victim to his desires. Next thing I know I'm biting his shoulder again, as I hear a throaty groan come out of him, before he pulls out of me, flipping me over on the bed, my stomach on the mattress.

"Arch your back." He orders me, and I listen; the side of my face is in his pillow, as he brings my hands behind my back.

He leans in from the side, letting his hot breath tickle my ear. "Did you know, this is one of the positions I've been wanting to see you in since the day you left me at the ball." He teases my pussy with his tip, and I groan out in frustration.

"Frustrating isn't it? Not getting what you want, when you want it." He grabs my hair pulling my face up from the pillow, turning me slightly to watch me melt at his touch. "No more running, Karkaroff. You have me right where you want me. And I, you." He pounds into me, full force, almost fucking me to oblivion.

"Fuck—you're perfect." He pants out, his praises making me moan more. "Too—perfect." He pushes himself further, fully submerging himself in me. I can _feel_ him. Everything. He's the largest I've ever taken; I'm so screwed in the morning. "Shit—Dra—oh my go—" I cut myself off, burying my face in the pillow but he pulls me back from my hair again, turning my head to the side.

"Say—it." I moan louder; he speeds up his pace. "Scream—my name." He leans in closer, noses touching when he confesses his desperation against my lips in a mumbled whisper. "Just—once...please."

And that's all it took to reach my zenith, as if ice cubes are sliding down my body, before his name rolls off my tongue with a moan "Draco!" We looked in each other's eyes, as he watches me slowly bloom; my petals unfolding in pure bliss.

When I look in his eyes, my tongue breaks in silence. I'm left speechless. We speak to each other, confess to each other, without having to say anything. Even with every inch of him pressed against my body, I still want more of him. Because it's not just the sex we craved, it's the intimacy. The desire to be touched, praised, admired; feeling like we have something— _someone_ to hold onto for once in our lives.

He immediately muffles a contraceptive charm, thrusting into me through my orgasm before reaching his own, groaning in a sultry way as I feel his dick twitching inside me, shooting his warm cum, "Asy—Fuck." He wraps his hand around my throat, pulling my mouth to his, as my walls clench around him, desperate to take in every last drop. We moan harmoniously, sharing the same breath, the same desire. Sharing each other. At this moment, we are infinite. My body pressed beneath his; it's all I have to hold onto to save me from drowning.

He pulls out slowly, causing me to wince out from sensitivity, before gently laying me back on my back. Right when I think he's done, he slides his fingers inside me, slowly and cautiously this time, aware of my slight discomfort, pushing his cum up deeper. "Oh my—fuck" I burry my face into his chest, muffling a moan before he releases his grip from my neck, taking his fingers out of me, looking into my eyes expectedly, for me to taste our poison. Because the both of us together would only ever be poisonous; deadly.

I taste the bittersweet flavours on his finger, swirling my tongue slowly and seductively, encouraging a throaty groan to erupt from him.

Our high fades away, and we both come back to reality, realizing that this is the best thing we'll have in our life. The _only_ good thing we'll have. We're both doomed to a life of misery since the day we were born.

He strokes my hair, before falling next to me on the bed, the both of us panting the hot, thick air in the room.

"You're going to be the death of me, Karkaroff." He pants out.

 _You're_ going to be the death of _me_.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom."

"You planning on flying there?" He snickers.

"I have two legs."

"Okay, use them." We turn to the side to look at each other while lying down, and I narrow my eyes at him, catching onto what he's insinuating.

"I will." I smile insincerely, getting up into a sitting position. "You owe me a night gown." I lift my torn gown off from the ground with one finger.

"I prefer you with nothing on." I turn to give him a dirty look, and his lip curls at my reaction, as he puts his hands behind his head, resting on them. "I'll buy you all the night gowns you want, okay? Is Miss. Karkaroff happy now?"

"Very."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fantastic."

"Amazing."

"Do you want me to fuck you again? Because we still have time, I don't mind."

I ignore him and get up from the bed, almost falling over and he immediately shifts off the bed, just in case I fall, but I manage to steady myself.

"I can manage."

I hear him laying back down in his bed. "Mhmm. Independent woman. Got it." He replies mockingly.

I walk very slowly, trying hard not to wince out in pain. He _really_ took out all his built-up tension.

I hear him snorting in the back, feeling his gaze on me as I struggle to walk. "Shut up." I snap at him.

"Keep walking, maybe world hunger will end by the time you get to the bathroom."

I flick him off without looking back and finally get to the bathroom.

When I get back out, I see him out on the balcony, smoking a joint.

"It's three in the morning." I walk over to him, with his blanket wrapped around my bare body, leaning against the railing next to him, looking out at the garden.

"Glad you can tell the time." He sneers at me.

"Soooo, why don't you sleep then?"

"Why don't _you_?" He eyes me from the corner of his eyes and smirks. "You're liking my blanket, I see."

I ignore his comment and grab the joint between his fingers, and he turns to me, bewildered, placing it between my lips, inhaling, letting the smoke seep through my lungs, before giving it back to him.

"It's three in the morning." He mocks me, with a high-pitched voice, before bringing the joint to his own lips, and inhaling. We stand next to each other, staring into the distance, taking in each other presence before he speaks again. "I have insomnia. Dreamless Sleep makes me drowsy throughout the day. That's why I prefer smoking."

"Try Willow's stuff, it tastes better, and it settles quicker."

"I'm not trying that Mudblood's trash."

"Judging without any knowledge. Not a very strong pursuit."

He scoffs at my retort.

"She's not bad you know." I continue. "Her blood status doesn't determine who she is. She redeems much better qualities than majority of the purebloods I know."

"Says the death eater. You'll have to kill that girl in a few months."

"I know." I sigh out, as he passes me the joint.

"How do you do it? Hang out with her, sleep in the same room with her, knowing she's going to be killed either _by_ you, or _because_ of you."

I wait a couple seconds, thinking about a proper answer, before responding. "I don't get attached. She's nothing but my roommate. We have fun, I buy stuff from her, that's it. Just an acquaintance."

" _An acquaintance_..." He hums, in deep thought, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "Is that what we are... _acquaintances_."

"Mhmm...more like... partners in crime."

I see his head turn to face me. "Oh, fuck off, I'd rather you call me an acquaintance than _that_." He inhales the smoke from his joint.

"Did I lie?" I side eye him. "We're going to kill _the greatest wizard in the wizarding world_ together _._ Or so they say."

He doesn't say anything, taking a final hit before burning out his joint, as we both walk back into his room. We loiter in his room awkwardly, and he lies down on his bed, resting his arms behind his head.

"I don't want you waking anyone up. It's best if you stay..." He looks at my blank reaction continuing. "If you want."

I've never slept with anyone before. I've never trusted anyone enough to sleep with them. Sleep is when you're most vulnerable. I never wanted to risk a knife at my throat.

"I... still have some packing to do." I make up a bullshit excuse. I've already finished packing.

"Right." He lets out a big breath, like he's been holding it in. "I forgot you packed a couple first years with you." He gets up from the bed, walking towards me.

I laugh at his comment but quickly compose myself, clearing my throat. "I _would_ give you your blanket but you kind of cut off the clothes I was wearing. I don't want your parents seeing me naked. Or worse, your elves."

"My father's not home so that's one less person to worry about." He scoffs. "Keep the blanket."

We just stare at each other at the door. What do people usually do after they just hooked up, and happen to sleep a door away from each other?

"Well... I'm going to go now... Thanks for the Malfoy after care package." I refer to the blanket and joint.

He gives me a confused look before remembering the conversation we had months ago, "Right. Maybe next time I'll give you the VIP package."

I fold my arms over my chest, smirking at his response. "There won't be a next time."

"Mhmmm, sure." He nods his head, trying hard to hold back a grin. I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back mine.

The games over, and I'm hungry for more.

What happens now?

There will _definitely_ be a next time. Maybe I'll even get him to moan out my name.

"Goodnight, _Malfoy_."

He raises a brow at my use of his last name. "Night, Karkaroff."

I open the door, and take a step out before he holds my hand, pulling me into a kiss. This one is slow, but passionate, before he pulls away slightly, both of us catching our breath "just something to remember this moment by. You know since _there won't be a next time._ "

Fucking tease.

I finally go back to my room, trying to drift into a deep sleep, but unable to, overwhelmed by my thoughts and emotions.

I never thought I'd feel so consumed by the way someone makes me feel. By the way _he_ makes me feel.

Draco Malfoy, makes me _feel_.

He _really_ will be the death of me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy, let's all just take a breather because that chapter was longgg.
> 
> Sooo... now you know who him is... You will definitely get more insight on him in later chapters.
> 
> Comment some theories you have about the plot/some of the characters, etc. I'd love to read them.
> 
> They did it... After twenty-six chapters (not including A/N's). This is my first time ever writing smut like this. How did I do? Feel free to leave constructive criticism. They definitely were both in their feels. What I wrote today will be vanilla compared to what I have planned in future chapters.
> 
> What do y'all want to see more of during spicy moments (i.e. certain kinks you want to see, etc.)?
> 
> This fanfic will have amazing spice and plot, SO, if you're skipping over the chapters I write to only read spicy parts, you are missing out. I will CRY because my plot is soooo intense and unique, you won't see it coming. Literally. This is not your typical death eater plot, like other fan fics. In fact, death eaters have a very minimal role in the plot of the story. I want my plot to stand out.


	31. HIDDEN

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"Put it in."

"I did."

"Well do it again."

"Why don't _you_ _'do it again_ '?"

"Because I did, _five_ times. And I like seeing you in this position." Draco snickers, rubbing his chin.

"Fuck off." I let out a big breath, throwing the apple on the ground. "It's not working"

We've spent hours, day and night, working on this stupid cabinet. Nothing works. I'm _very_ close to telling Voldy to suck my dick and running off to isolate myself in an abandoned Island.

"Let's just give up then. We'll explain it to the Dark Lord in five months when he asks us about it. Maybe we'll share the same grave; Nagini's stomach." He scoffs, picking the apple up, throwing it in the air, catching it.

It's been a couple days since winter break and the reality of my situation is just settling in. I have a cabinet that doesn't want to fix, Dumbledore to kill, Elijah's death has just now hit me. Oh, I almost forgot, I'm dealing with an annoying blonde who's fucking with my head. And the both of us sharing the same task, isn't helping me. 

" _Maybe_ , _you_ can try fixing it. Afterall, _I've_ been doing most of the work." I move away from the cabinet.

He takes out his wand and casts the dumbest spell he could ever incant " _reparo._ "

Nothing.

Obviously.

I start clapping sarcastically, "Genius. Why didn't _I_ think of that? Want to try _abra kadabra_ too?"

"Fuck!" He kicks the cabinet, aggressively running his hands through his hair.

"Okay calm down, we want to _fix it_ , not _break it._ "

"Karkaroff, just shut the fuck up for a moment." He paces around the room.

"Don't tell me to shut the fuck up." I snap. "And calm down, we have to be optimistic."

"What are you, Lunatic Lovegood? There's no time for optimism." He stops pacing, turning to face me. "We need to go to Knockturn Alley, tomorrow at noon."

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's the next day and I walk back from class when my ears almost burst from the amount of yelling I hear in the corridor ahead. "Do it again McLaggen, I fucking dare you!" It's Theo's voice. _Theo_ is _yelling_.

Who would've thought?

"The fuck are _you_ gonna do about it?!" I hear McLaggen.

I see people starting to crowd around Theo and McLaggen, who have their hands behind their backs. In the corner I see Granger, with her books held tightly to her chest, slouching down uncomfortably.

Theo starts laughing, and in a blink of an eye, his fist smash's into McLaggen's face.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Everyone starts chanting, as the both of them roll around the ground; Theo throwing a punch, then McLaggen, back and forth.

I walk closer and whisper to some girl with glasses, "what's going on?"

She turns to look at me, shocked that I'd even speak to her. "Cormac groped Hermione."

Granger?

What's there to grope?

I squeeze through the crowd; I need a front row seat to this. They roll around on the ground like pigs in a pen. The tension from the overwhelming angered male hormones in this room is _insane_. 

I watch Theo flip him over, bringing him under him, punching his fist into his jaw at each word "If—you—ever—touch—her—again—you're—dead!"

I let them pummel around a bit more before moving in closer.

He doesn't even notice me, continuing to bash his face. I've never seen him so angry. In fact, I don't think I've _ever_ seen him angry. It's like a monster unleashed from within him. He finishes him up, spitting on his face, before getting up and brushing off his clothing, bringing his attention to me. His darkened eyes soften, turning a soft blue, contrasting against the energy seeping through the blood on his face. McLaggen pulls him back down, straddling him. He raises his hand to throw a punch, before I use a non-verbal spell, throwing him across the room.

The crowd of people gasp, and McLaggen rubs the back of his head, groaning, "who the fuck did that!?"

Groping girls... Let's see how much of a _man_ he is... 

I cast another non-verbal spell on him, causing his pants to disintegrate, revealing his Spice Girls tighty wighties. I didn't even know they had those.

Who knew McLagen liked the Spice Girls... At least he has taste.

A crowd of laughter erupts, and I feel absolutely no remorse.

I knew he radiated small dick energy... He's very... Flat.

He looks panicked but turns around to see my smug look, pointing his wand at me in realization.

" _Expelliarmus_!" I disarm him and cast another non-verbal spell, trying to transfigure him. His nose changes, and he grows a curly, pink tail. He tries to speak but instead, oinks.

"Shame." I pout at him. "I suppose you're already a pig, so there's not much of a change." His eyes turn fiery, when he tries to say something but oinks. "What was that?" I put my hand on my ear.

The crowd of people start moving back, and the laughs go silent. 

"Miss. Karkaroff." I hear a croaky voice from behind me.

_Fuck._

I turn around to see the one and only, Albus Dumbledore.

"Professor." I smile at him innocently.

He looks around at the crowd of people. "Off to your classes, all of you!" He looks at McLaggen, Theo and I. "You three, to my office. Now."

We're sitting in his office like a bunch of children caught stealing cookies from the kitchen late at night by their parents.

"Only a couple days into the new semester and there's already a commotion." He circles the three of us, before taking a seat in front of us. "Care to explain?"

Before Theo or Cormac can say anything, I speak up. "Certainly, professor." I wave my hand towards Cormac "you have perverts roaming around in your school."

Theo snorts, and all eyes go on him before he covers it with a fake cough, looking away.

"I beg your pardon, Miss. Karkaroff?"

"A student was groped by _him._ " I nod with my head "If I'm not mistaken, section thirty-three of the Hogwarts Rule Book states that sexual assault is an offense punishable on summary suspension and is liable to expulsion." I look at Cormac before looking back at Dumbledore. "I believe he is entitled to a punishment."

Silence emits the room before I hear McLaggen scoff. "She's lying, clearly. Daughter of a death eater, it's no surprise she'd find any excuse to violate the lives of the students here."

I start laughing at his use of hyperbole. "You oinked; hit your head on the wall at the most, don't exaggerate the situation."

He crinkles his nose in disgust, before rolling his eyes. "Professor, surely you must know my father and uncle will hear about these accusations..."

His uncle, Tiberius, works for the ministry, maintaining close relations with the head of the Auror office, and as of recently, the Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeor, so he has a great advantage. 

Prick.

Dumbledore lets out a sigh that tells me, he's not going to do shit. "I would need the student to tell me themselves. I cannot act on your word."

_Bullshit._

Why am I not surprised? When it comes to the Ministry, even the _'greatest wizard '_ kisses their arse.

"Until then, I will have to take off sixty house points from you, _each_."

_Fucking hell..._

"To be fair, _I_ didn't do anything to him." I try to convince him.

"Yeah? Then what's this?" McGlaggen points to the bruise on his temple.

"Are you still talking?" I shoot him a dirty look. If Dumbbell wasn't here, I'd sew his mouth shut.

"Miss. Karkaroff, I was there long enough to hear you admit to transfiguring him, or rather _trying_ to transfigure him into a pig. Sixty points, _each_ , and that's final."

He dismisses Theo and Cormac, sending them to Madam Pomfrey to get healed, while I stay seated. He strokes his beard, pondering. "Where and how did you learn to use wandless magic?"

Why _must_ he need to know everything? It's exhausting.

"I don't know... I learned myself. practice? A couple books... I'm still new at it."

"Surely this isn't just something one can learn from a book... You have a skill, and apparently that's not your only one..."

_What is he getting at?_

"Parseltongue..." He raises brow at me. "You speak it."

"Yes...?"

"A rare dialect..."

"Mhmm, rare..." This is the most awkward conversation I've ever had. I feel like I'm being interrogated.

My turn to ask the questions.

"Right." I take out the photograph Elijah gave me from the pocket of my robe, sliding it to him over his desk. "This photograph was sent to me." I lie. "I was told you'd know something about it."

He takes the photograph and unfolds it, furrowing his brows at the sight of it, looking up at me curiously. "Told by who?"

"I'm not sure, I received it anonymously." I keep my tone as calm and unbothered as I can. He's like a hawk; he can sense everything.

"Do you know who this is?" He lowers his head, looking at me through his glasses. 

"No..." 

He releases a breath of relief. "Good. Leave it at that."

"Are you not going to explain what all of this is?"

"No need. It's not worth explaining. There's so significance of this photograph." He shoves the photograph in his desk, sneakily.

He thinks he's smart. Little does he know I have ten more copies of that photograph... just in case.

"If that's all, you may leave Miss. Karkaroff."

He dismisses me from his office, but I can't help but notice the look of... nervousness. Was Dumbledore nervous? Dumbledore, of all people. He knew exactly who the person in the photograph was. He had to. Elijah said he'd know everything.

Fucking Dumbledore and his secrets.

The rest of the morning goes by quickly and it's already ten minutes past twelve. I've been waiting in the common room and Draco still hasn't showed up. If this is his way of punishing me for all the times I was either late or never showed up whenever he called me, then he's going to suffer in the end of this. 

I storm off to his dorm room, and start banging on his door.

I'm in the mood for a quick argument.

The door finally opens and I'm met with his tall shirtless figure; water droplets glistening off his chest with a towel wrapped around his waist, while leaning against the door frame.

Oh... 

"You're eager to see me." He ruffles his damp hair with a towel. "Almost broke my door down." He snickers.

I try hard to look at his face and _only_ his face. "We were supposed to go to Knockturn Alley ten minutes ago, and you're here having a fucking spa day?" I lower my voice so no one in the dorm halls hears us.

A look of mischief grows on his face. "Mhmm, not quite..."

"Draco?" I hear a high-pitched voice call out from the bathroom, before the door opens, revealing a slender girl with coily dark brown hair. Dean Thomas's sister, Melanie. And she happens to be in a towel too.

What a fucking coincidence.

She looks at me as if she didn't expect to see me, wrapping herself in the towel tighter, slouching over shyly. "I'm just going to get changed and get going." She grabs her clothes off his armchair, going into the bathroom to change.

I narrow my eyes at Draco, trying _so_ hard not to show my anger.

I hate that I feel so... irritated. No, I have every right to be irritated. 

"Please." He gestures to his bed. "Get comfortable." He drops the towel from his waist, walking to his drawer. I walk into his room, and look away, facing the bathroom door.

"What? Don't like the view?" He scoffs. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

I turn back around, to see him standing right in front of me, now wearing black briefs. "Are you serious right now? You prioritized a dick appointment over our task!" I whisper-yell at him.

"What can I say? I'm a man with needs." He sneers.

"Malfoy I will not tolerate your bullshit." I poke my finger into his bare, chiselled chest. "If you won't focus on the task, go to Voldy and tell him yourself. But _do not_ ruin this for me. Or better yet, pitch yourself off the Astronomy Tower since you're already digging your own grave."

He instantly pulls my hand away from his chest. "Don't be so dramatic." He twirls one of my curls between his fingers. "And don't _ever_ touch me like _that_ again."

I slap his hand away. "Fuck you."

"You already have." He teases me with a grin. "But sure, we can go at it again." 

"I'm serious. Where's your head these days?" I scoff at him, and he smirks at me.

"I don't know, where is my _head_ these days?" He sneers, glancing over to the bathroom door, as Melanie walks out, now fully dressed.

She stares between the both of us, speechless as she can sense the tension. "Same time tomorrow." Draco orders her and she nods, leaving his dorm without a word.

_Fucking pig._

"I see you've grown a liking for Gryffindors. Lavender, Melanie. Parkinson not enough? Who's next, Potter?" I retort sarcastically. Seriously though, where _is_ Parkinson? I haven't seen her in class. She wasn't at the ball. And it would be her of all people that I'd expect to see here.

"Gryffindors are rather... adventurous in bed. Seeing their lioness _courage_ break under me turns me on." He takes a step towards me, popping open one button from my blouse. "You know what else turns me on?" He leans in closer, pressing his soft lips against my ear. "Your jealousy."

I pull away from him, "Get over yourself, I don't give a fuck what you do with your dick. What I _do_ care about is getting this task done. So, get dressed, I'll be in the common room." I turn away from him.

"Leather or metal?" His question lingers in the silent room, making me turn to him with a questioning gaze.

_Huh?_

"Excuse me?" I tilt my head in confusion, watching his eyes drown in sinful fires.

"Which one Karkaroff?" He takes a step towards me. "Leather." He scans my figure, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth. "Or metal."

I don't answer. Just stand, staring at the sterling silver chain on his neck. All I can think of is pulling on it, bringing his lips to mine as I curl the chain around my finger, tightening it around his neck until he chokes—

"Karkaroff?"

"Hm?" I get out of my trance to see him standing dangerously close to me.

"After seeing you squirm under my knife," he drags his finger down the side of my neck. "I'd say, metal." He smirks.

His touch gives me shivers, and I find myself instinctively biting on my tongue, hard enough to taste a bitter, metallic flavour in my mouth. "Why are you asking me this?" My question comes out almost breathlessly, as if I were running a marathon. Every second with him is like running a marathon. But I don't know where the finish line is. If there even is a finish line... "You know what, never mind, I don't care, I'm leaving without you." I turn to leave but he pulls me by my arm, letting me crash into his chest.

"You'll wait for me. Sit." He nods to his bed.

I try to pull away but when you're with him, that's not possible. "I'm not a mutt, don't order me around. I'm leaving." He tightens his grip on me.

He looks down at me, squinting his eyes. "I've marked you, Karkaroff. That means _you_ are mine. And so is what's between your legs." He points two fingers between my legs. "Did you like my little souvenir?" He searches my face.

His mark.

I haven't even looked at it yet. Even in the shower I look at the wall in front of me, feeling overwhelmed with emptiness. I'm too busy stressing over everything.

"From your reaction, I'm guessing you haven't..." 

"No. I haven't. And the game is over. I won. I am not yours, and you are not mine. That means I can go back to doing whatever I want with what's between my legs, and _you_ can't do anything about it."

I pull away from him to see a smug look on his face, rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek before he grabs the back of my hair, tilting my head up to look him straight in the eyes. "I'd advise you to look between your legs sometime tonight when you're touching yourself at the thought of me again. That'll show you who you belong to." He releases me, forcefully. "And don't think you've won, Karkaroff. I'm _very_ unpredictable."

I cross my arms over my chest, giving him an insincere smile. "I don't _think_ I've won. I _have_ won. And if you pull my hair like that again, I _will_ break your hands."

"Mhmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that." He drags my bottom lip with his thumb, as his eyes flicker between mine and my mouth. "You see Karkaroff, I have a little problem." He holds my chin lightly. "You're like a drug. I've tasted you, but I'm hungry for more."

I shift my head away from his hold. "That sounds like a _you_ problem. Go to rehabilitation."

 _I_ definitely need to go to rehabilitation.

"See, that's where _you_ come in handy..." An evil look grows on his face. "I've fucked three girls today. Yet, somehow I still can't get you out of my system." He moves his hand to tuck in a curl behind my ear. "So, let's set up our own rehabilitation." He lowers his head so he's at my eye level. "I need to _fuck_ you out of my system, Karkaroff. That's the only way this addiction will end."

I—

I stare at him blankly before pulling away, bursting out in laughter, allowing my laughter to die down before continuing. "You're sick. Like _actually_ sick. Forget it, it won't happen."

Mischief creeps upon his face. "It _will_ happen, because I know you want me." He strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers but I move my head away from his touch.

"Well, you're wrong. Because I don't." I don't _want_ him. Maybe I want to _touch_ him. But I can't touch him without feeling... strange. 

He walks behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me against his warm chest, nuzzling his chin on my shoulder. The both of us look at each other through the mirror in front of us, leaned against the wall. "Is that why you're still standing in my room when I'm half naked, knowing that I could bend you over and take you on this desk right now, if I wanted to?" My breath hitches, and he smirks at my reaction. 

Did I just imagine that?

Absolutely.

And I'm disgusted with myself.

He knows what he's doing. Well, that's too bad.

We fight each other with our eyes before I clear my throat, gaining back my focus. "I'll be waiting in the common room. You have five minutes or I'm leaving without you." I turn around and brush past him, walking out of his room.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

After Draco wasted a good hour of my time for his own pleasure, we finally arrive to Borgin and Burkes. This place is known for selling strange antiques, most of them having some sort of dark magic within them. I walk into the dim shop, observing the strange antiques in the glass case. There's a blood-stained pack of cards, human bones, rusty instruments, and a glass eye.

"Mr. Malfoy." The shop owner, Borgin, a short, greasy-haired man, walks out from behind the counter. "What a pleasant surprise." His eyes trail over to me, and he gives me a tut, insincere smile. "Miss. Karkaroff." He nods at me, turning back to Draco. "How may I assist you? _Actually_ , I've been meaning to contact Master Malfoy about this. We've just brought in a—"

Draco raises his hand to silence the man, "You have something I'd like." He nods his head over to the cabinet in the corner of the shop, and Borgin's face lights up with mischief. It's a twin cabinet, and unlike the one at Hogwarts, it's not broken. I roam around the shop while Draco speaks to him; he's trying persuade him to help us with the vanishing cabinet. Well... persuade as in threaten him. Borgin looks like he could piss himself right now.

I look around and my eyes instantly trail to the necklace on the counter. It's a silver pendant on a braided black leather necklace cord. The pendant is the same symbol marked on the back of my neck. The deathly hallows. 

I reach my hand out to pick it up but an overwhelming feeling arises within me, consuming my thoughts, until my mind instantly drowns in darkness.

_A tall man with white blonde hair and blue eyes, walks into a Mausoleum; people crowding all around him, cheering._

_"You came here today, because you crave something new. Something different. It is said that I hate le Non-magiques. The Muggle. The No-Maj. The Can't-Spells."_

_He looks around the crowd, continuing._

_"I do not hate them; I do not. For I do not fight out of hatred. I believe that the Muggles are not lesser, but other. Not worthless, but of other value. Not disposable, but of different disposition."_

_He inhales smoke from a skull hookah, blowing spirit like visions that surround the air... The vision shows a war._

_"That is what we are fighting against. That is the enemy. The arrogance. The power lust..."_

_The images fade away._

_"There are Aurors here amongst us."_

_A group of Aurors walk down the steps. Moments later, a young girl reaches for her wand before one of the Aurors kill her, causing a crowd of angered people to rise._

_"Disapperate. Leave. Go forth from this place and spread the word. It is not we who are violent. It is them."_

_The crowd disapperates, leaving just the Aurors._

_"Aurors. Join me. Pledge to me, your eternal allegiance."_

_He unleashes a bluish black ring of fire._

_"Or die."_

"Strange thing isn't it?" A croaky voice takes me out of my trance, and I turn around to see a frail old woman. "A young man brought it to the shop not too long ago. It's been sitting here ever since."

"Does it do anything?" I ask, eyeing the necklace with interest.

"It's enlaced with Dark Magic, but there's not anything else about it. Are you interested in purchasing it?"

Dumbledore has no intention on telling me anything. Maybe I don't need him to figure things out.

"Yes." I say without hesitation. Something tells me this is the only way I'll find the answers I'm looking for. Whatever it is I'm looking for... 

"Of course." The woman goes behind the counter and wraps it for me.

After paying for it, I turn around to see Draco gripping onto the collar of Borgin's shirt.

Always so dramatic.

I walk towards them, watching his every move. Let's see how he _'deals_ ' with this.

"Without seeing the other cabinet, I c-cannot help you." He stutters.

"No?" Draco sneers at him. "Perhaps _this_ will make you more confident." He releases him to lift up his sleeve, revealing his Dark Mark.

Idiot.

He pulls his sleeve back down, gripping onto Borgin yet again. "Tell anyone, and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback?" He grins slyly. "He's a family friend. He'll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you're giving the problem your _full_ attention."

Borgin's eyes pop wide open at his remark, "Surely t-there won't be a need for tha—"

"I'll be the judge of that." Draco cuts him off. "In the meantime, keep _that_ safe for me." He refers to the cabinet.

"Would you like to take it with you?" He asks.

Yes, we would _love_ to carry a large cabinet outside with us.

"Stupid man." Draco scoffs. "How would we look carrying it around? Just keep it reserved for me."

"Of course, Mr. Malfoy." He doesn't look Draco in the eye, too scared to do so.

Draco releases him, smoothing out the wrinkles on his shirt. "Oh, and if you tell anyone about this conversation we had, I _will_ know, and I _will_ find you." He gives him an evil grin that doesn't reach his eyes. "Understand?"

"Yes, of course." He nods his head quickly.

"Good." The bells on the shop's door chime. "Looks like you have a customer, wouldn't want to keep them waiting."

Borgin leaves us and Draco's eyes linger around the shop, stopping at the opal necklace in the clear glass display. He walks closer to it, squinting his eyes and leaning in to take a closer look. Infront of it, lays a card;

**_Do not Touch! Cursed. Has claimed the lives of nineteen Muggle owners to date._ **

"What do you think?" Draco keeps his gaze on the necklace, tilting his head to get a better look.

I walk up next to him, observing the quarter sized, teal stones lined up along a tarnished gold metal. "I think you're tasteless."

"Oh, for fucks sake." He groans. "Do you think it will be... useful?" He lowers his voice to avoid intrusion.

"Sure, I can see him walking around in this before dropping dea—"

"Karkaroff." He cuts me off, scowling at me.

I sigh, before responding. "Depends... How do you plan on getting it to him?"

"I'll find a way. It's a yes or no question Karkaroff, come on." He snaps at me.

"Okay, yes."

Draco turns around, "Borgin! Wrap this up for me."

"Certainly." He walks over to the counter, weighing the necklace. A small smirk creeps on his face as he comes up with a price. "2000 galleons."

Draco and I give each other the side eye.

Bastard thinks we're idiots. 2000 galleons for _that?_

My arse.

"1000." I bargain with him. I may be rich, but I'm not stupid. 

He looks bewildered by my offer, shaking his head. "I'm afraid I can't compromise a price."

"I'm sure you can compromise for us." I smile, fluttering my lashes innocently at him.

"I'm truly sorry but I—"

"1000." I repeat myself, slower.

He struggles to find his words, but ends up complying with a regretful groan, "How about 1500?"

Nope.

I turn my head slightly to look at Draco, and he discreetly shakes his head, encouraging me to bargain more.

"1000, that's the most you'll get." I say and he opens his mouth to argue back, but sighs instead.

"Perhaps we can come to a mutual agreement." He slides the scale to the side, leaning into the table. "Your father gave me his word to sell his taxidermy collection, but since his loss I haven't received anything. Surely you can sell them to me..."

Borgin stares blankly at me. I lean in closer, lowering my voice "you want the taxidermy collection?"

"Yes, and also the enchanted piano in your cellar." 

"Mhmm." I hum, pretending to take it into consideration. "Anything else? Any other requests?"

He brings out his hand to count. "Let me think for a moment... Oh, your father's walking stick. That's highly valuable, perhaps you could bring that to me too."

"Would you like me to bring you his corpse as well? It's _highly valuable_..."

He just looks at me, unsure on how to respond. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he'd want that too. Greedy geezer.

"How's your wife?" I change the subject, knowing that this is the only way he'll comply. His face goes as white as parchment, and I notice him gulp.

"M-my wife?" He clears his horsy voice before continuing. "Fine."

"Fine." I repeat. "blonde hair, blue eyes, right?" I glance at the photograph of her on the counter. "Strange. I swear I saw you snogging a ginger woman in front of a brothel just a few weeks back."

I didn't see anything. But I _can_ read through his memories. And they're quite... explicit.

His eyes are wide open as silence emits the room. "1000." I smile at him. "Put it on my tab."

"No, put it on my tab." Draco intervenes.

"No, mine." I turn to look at Draco, as he narrows his eyes at me.

Borgin looks between the both of us. "So... who's tab am I putting this on?"

"Mine." We both say in unison, staring at each other.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"I always get what I want Karkaroff. One way or another." 

I look up at him, noticing a pleased expression on his face. "So do I. Hence why _this_ time we split it, but next time, that won't happen."

We leave the dim shop together, when I see Granger walking into the shop moments after we leave.

Why would _she_ be here, of all places?

We walk down the cold, dark alleyway, feeling strange eyes on us. "What's that?" Draco glances at the small bag in my hand.

"Some old antique, I just thought it looked nice." I don't give him too much detail, it doesn't concern him.

"Mhmm." He hums in response before pulling my arm, turning me around to face him. 

Why is he looking at me like that?

"What?" 

He takes out a handkerchief, holding my chin with one hand while wiping gently under my nose with the other. "Did you hit something? You're bleeding."

"No..." I look up at him, watching his grey eyes focus in on the blood under my nose. I never took in how his face looks when he's focused. His brows furrow, revealing a single crease along his flawless skin, in front of his right brow. He bites down on his jaw, showing his masseter muscle. He narrows his eyes in on his focus point. 

Why am I turned on right now?

_Nope. Shut up Asya._

He hasn't touched me since that night. Then again, we haven't really had time from working on this cabinet. I can't believe I gave him control. I'm _always_ the one in control. I didn't feel like myself that night. And neither did he. Three weeks under the same roof, with only a wall splitting us up. I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier.

A part of me regrets it, but a part of me wants more... 

He was holding back. I know he was. I wanted him to fuck me like he hated me. But all the overwhelming emotions I felt from the skin-to-skin contact, the breath we shared, the pleasure rippling through our bodies... it didn't feel like hate. Even while he was carving into my skin; every piece of me where he inflicted pain, he bandaged with a kiss.

He mumbles an incantation to stop the bleeding, and folds the handkerchief so the bloody side is covered.

Maybe if I had stopped focusing on his eyes and looked at the handkerchief in his hand, I would've noticed that it was blue, enlaced with my initials on it. It was mine, from when Daphne dropped it in his dorm room a few months back.

"Thanks." I mumble, looking up at him, but he doesn't respond, rotating my head with his hand, scanning over my face.

"We'll go to Madame Pomfrey's later today." He releases his grip from my face, and we continue to walk.

"I don—"

"You're going. It's not up for debate." He cuts me off, sternly.

" _Don't be so dramatic._ " I quote him from our conversation earlier in his dorm.

"Karkaroff, shut the fuck up."

"Malfoy, make me." I side eye him, and see the corner of his lip curl up while staring ahead.

In the end... I ended up going to Madam Pomfreys. He made sure of it; carried me over his shoulder and threw me onto the infirmary bed.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"You'll have another meeting at the end of the month." Snape paces around the room, organizing the class textbooks.

"Ughhh, I'm fucked..." I groan, rubbing my forhead.

His brows raise at my use of language "What? I'm serious." I take a seat on the corner of his desk. "Voldy's so unpredictable, even _you_ don't know what to expect. He almost broke through my thoughts completely the day of the ceremony. And I heard him, like in my head when I first transferred to Hogwarts. No one has ever done that. They couldn't. And on top of that, _he's_ the one who kidnapped Elijah. For what? How does he even know Elijah?"

"If you want to live, you will not question the Dark Lord and his intentions. Be grateful that you're alive." He responds defensively. 

"Why did he want me to kill him though? How would that benefit him? How does _that_ prove my loyalty to him?"

"When he orders you to do something, you do it. Now, what's going on with your task?" He changes the subject. 

_Always_ changing the subject. 

"I've spent days looking through all the spells I know. Nothing. This cabinet is a joke." I pull on a string on the hem of my skirt. "On the plus side though, we found a necklace that could be of great use for the other task."

"Necklace?" He looks at me in disbelief. I know, a _necklace_ is going to kill him.

Shore.

"A cursed necklace. Once he touches it, our problem will be solved." I try to reassure him. In all honesty, I'm not even sure how this necklace will work.

He shakes his head, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "That won't work. He will know immediately. He can sense dark magic."

I shift on the desk, adjusting my seating comfortably. "Who said we'd be giving it to him directly. He'll sense it, but he won't even know where it's from or where it is. By the time he finds out, he'll already be _dealt with_."

"Don't worry too much about that task. Focus on the cabinet for now."

"Are you joking? The cabinet is nothing compared to killing—"

"Just focus on the cabinet." He snaps, enunciating every word. "Don't question it. Just do it. I have everything under control."

"Okay..." I try to read his expression but he's stone cold. "There's something else I've been meaning to talk to you about. Before Elijah died, he gave me a photograph. He told me Dumbledore would know everything about it. So, I asked him, and he spoke nothing of it."

His eyes spark, and I continue. "I just don't understand what any of this would have to do with me. Why would he give me the photograph in the first place?"

He waits a couple seconds before responding. "I assure you it's just to play with your head. Everything he says is meaningless."

"I don't even know what's true and what's not anymore. Apparently, my mother wanted me for nothing more than just my inheritance." I laugh out loud. "Can you fucking believe that?"

He looks away from me, dropping his gaze to the floor.

You're joking.

"You _can_ believe that..." Is _everyone_ hiding things from me? "You knew, didn't you?"

He looks back up at me, fixing his posture. "Whether I knew or not doesn't matter. She's not here—"

"Since when?" I cut him off. "Since when did you know this?"

"Asya..." His tone seems regretful. 

"I want an actual answer."

He sighs, taking a seat on one of the desks. "Their marriage was not out of love. It was an arrangement. She was promised a fortune, so she could stay in the marriage. But this was never your father's intention. He wanted to leave it all to you. She found out and tried to forge her way into the vaults." He takes a moment, thinking before he speaks. "Elijah caught her... She... fell in love with him."

I think I'm going to be sick.

"And he convinced her that he loved her as well. He gained her trust. She told him everything. She was going to kill you when you turned eighteen so that she would have access to your inheritance... Then one day she disappeared. That's when my suspicions grew that _he_ killed her."

I wish it was him that killed her...

"That's the only reasonable explanation. He was sick Asya, he would do anything to protect you against others but failed to protect you against himself."

"How do _you_ know all of this?" I look at him suspiciously. 

He knows more than me.

And that infuriates me.

"I saw him a couple days before the ceremony when the Dark Lord called on me to tell me about his extra task for you."

And he didn't tell me the day he came to the Manor?!

"I was expected to torture him. He wanted me to watch his memories. So, I took a tear drop from him, and watched them from a penseive. He hoped that I would tell you eventually when the time was right."

Dickhead Elijah... Even while he's dead, he challenges me. Snape knows more than Dumbledore, he could've told me to speak with him instead.

"Why did you keep this from me?" I narrow my eyes at him. 

" _This_ is the only way I can protect you." He gets up from the desk, roaming around the room again.

"Protect me?" I get up from the desk too, smoothing out the wrinkles in my skirt. "You're not protecting me by withholding the truth. All these lies, and secrets are only delaying the inevitable."

He stops and faces me. "There is a time for everything Asya. I told you everything I do is for your own good. I meant it."

"I _really_ hope that there's nothing else." I walk closer to him, with my arms folded across my chest. "Because I will find out eventually, and when I do, don't expect me to sit here calmy, continuing to obey your rules." I give him a scornful smile, leaving his room. I _was_ going to give him the vial I found in Lucius's office and show him the photograph, but if he's hiding things from me, I guess I can hide _this_ from him.

I feel sick to my stomach. How many more lies do I have to find out about before it all just crashes down on me? Elijah was only a year older than me. I knew he was insane but I didn't think it would be to the point where he would whore himself off to my mother to protect me.

How could I be so stupid? I know everything. I _always_ know everything. But the reality of the situation is, I know absolutely nothing. This whole time, everyone's been laughing at my face, lying, playing games with me.

We'll see just who's laughing in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was somewhat a filler chapter. I'm very unpredictable, and so is my writing. So, expect the unexpected. Draco may have 'lost' but he may have also won... You'll have to see... I promised y'all an emotional rollercoaster. I ALWAYS keep my promises. 
> 
> I believe I have written the toxic relationship between Asya and Draco in a realistic way (as I said I would in my A/N), given that they are both strong characters who don't break easily at each other's words/actions. However, the toxicity right now is nothing compared to what it will get to later on. It's going to get wayyy worse. It has to in order to develop the plot, and it will hit you like a truck. All I'm saying is, you will love them at times, but there will come a time where you hate them.
> 
> Finally, since no one has said anything, I will. Who the hell is Elijah Barebone and what's his involvement with Asya? (I made up Elijah but Barebone...?)
> 
> Feel free to comment any theories/discussions.


	32. OFFER

****

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I'm sitting in the Great Hall with Blaise and Theo and all my attention is focused on Theo's bashed face. 

"I still can't believe you did all this for a fucking Mudblood." I scoff at his idiocy. The thing is, I don't even give a fuck, Mudblood or not, I know that Granger would never protect one of us. That's why it infuriates me that Theo protected her. 

"Mate, let's not forget how you broke Pucey's nose for bumping into Parkinson." He retorts.

"That's because she was my girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you both dated." Blaise snickers, taking a bite out of his food.

"Unfortunately." I mumble. 

"Speaking of Parkinson, she's usually clinging onto you like a tic. I haven't seen her since before the break." He raises his brow, looking at me for an answer. In all honesty, I have no fucking idea where she is. Either way, it's better for me to have her out of the way. She was starting to get too... comfortable. The less she talks, the better for me. If she's not around, I'll find someone else.

I hate to admit it but nothing with ever be as good as Karkaroff. I thought that after I had her, I would be done. I would claim my power again; feel satisfied. That's what all of this was for. But I was wrong. I felt satisfied in the moment, but now I just want more. 

I can't believe I fucking begged. But begging was the only way I could get remotely close to what I want. 

In an ideal world, I'd have her tied up, begging for me to make her come, while I take her in every corner of the school. But I didn't want to take _all_ of her control. I couldn't do it. Not without be completely sure that she'd be ready for _everything_ that I'd do to her. 

After seeing what my father did to her, I didn't think she would feel comfortable with going that far in the same house as him. I feel guilty for my father's actions. And I feel it for Karkaroff, of all people. I _never_ feel guilt. It's fucking disgusting. Weak. But it's ruining me, and my sex life. 

I feel possessive towards her. I don't want anyone else to look at her, touch her, hurt her, think about her, or even breathe in her direction. No one except for me. I need her to do something to piss me off so the guilt will go away and I can just hurt her, punish her, fuck her, without thinking about anything else. 

She is mine. Only mine.

Until I let her go.

"Don't look at me. I don't know where she is." I shrug at Blaise, ignoring his curious stare.

"Why you so fidgety, Nott?" Blaise looks at Theo's fingers that are tapping on his bouncing leg.

"No, no reason." He purses his lips, nodding frantically.

"Come on. Fess up." I encourage him to speak. Either way, I'll get it out of him.

"There's nothing to fess up." His voice cracks.

"Why is your voice cracking?" I grin at him. His voice cracks when he lies.

Just as he's about to say something, Karkaroff walks in, the air from the opening door blowing her dark, long curls past her face in the most angelic way possible. 

Fuck.

There's something enticing about her. I don't understand what. The way she carries herself. Her intelligence. Her body. Touch. Smell. Every single thing makes me want her more. 

She's poisoned me. I just need to get her out of my system. A couple more times with her is all I need to do that. To possess something so hard to attain. She's a challenge for me. I like my challenges.

She struts towards our table with her perfect posture, head held high, before her eyes lock with mine. She never dares to look away. Always challenging me with her eyes. There's something about staring into her eyes that reveals a part of her soul. Like if I look hard enough, it's almost like I see something. A part of her. A glimmer of light just waiting to set free. Her eyes beg for attention. Waiting to break under my gaze. But she never does. 

"Look who it is, my hero." Theo gets up from his seat, waiting for Karkaroff to sit down, before sitting back down. She takes a seat across from me.

Smart choice...

"I thought Dumbledore sent you to Pomfrey so she could heal you?" She says to Theo, leaning into the table. 

"She could only heal so much. She gave me Bruisewort's Balm to heal the rest."

"Come here." She pats the empty spot next to her.

"Yes ma'am." Theo gets up without hesitation, and sits next to her. 

Fucking twat.

She rotates herself so the both of them are facing each other with their legs propped on either side of the bench. Next thing I know, she's brushing her hand along his bruised cheekbone, and the bruise vanishes. She's healing him. 

Why is _she_ healing _him_?

She only heals me.

She _can_ only heal me.

She moves her hand to the bruise just above his eye. "Lean in more." She pulls on his shirt. He doesn't need to lean in more, he's already close enough. He leans in closer, putting his hands on either side of her hips on the bench.

She focuses on his bruise, slowly grazing her fingertips along it. He watches her carefully. He's looking at her. Not just regular looking. But _looking_. Every detail. Every perfect fucking detail. He's looking at what's _mine_.

I'm too busy intently watching them, I don't even notice that I've slammed my fork on the table. 

Karkaroff's head snaps at the sound, echoing through the Great Hall, her eyes looking between me and my white knuckles. She bites the inside of her cheek, holding back a smirk. That face... Her scheming face... 

She grabs his chin and rotating his face to check for any more marks. "Does it hurt terribly, Theo?" She rests a hand on his thigh. 

"It's a couple bruises, Karkaroff. He'll live." I mumble.

Theo glances at me, "he's right, this is nothing compared to what _he_ went through with his chicken. _It's killed meh, it's killed meh._ "

Blaise starts laughing before my deadly glare stops him. "You know what? Since Karkaroff wants to heal you so badly, maybe I should give you something to _actually_ get healed for." 

He turns on the bench, now facing the table, leaning in towards me. "I've been waiting for this one. Turn it up. I want a good slap Malfoy." He pats his left cheek. "Right here.

Blaise instantly back hands him. "Oi!" Theo rubs his cheek. "The fuck was that for?!"

"Sorry, my hand slipped." He snickers before seeing Daphne. "The missus is here; this is my cue to leave."

"Hey Asya," she gives her a little wave, and Karkaroff returns a forced smile. 

"I thought we were going to Hogsmeade?" Blaise asks Daphne.

"Patience darling, I don't run on an empty stomach." She and Blaise take a seat while Theo gives him a dirty look for the slap. 

Apparently Karkaroff doesn't run on an empty stomach either. She's filling her plate like she hasn't eaten anything in over week.

" _Heyyy._ " Oh, for fucks sake. Karkaroff's Mudblood roommate, and Lovegood just showed up. 

"Ladiesss" Theo pats a seat next to him.

"Great, a Mudblood, and a Ravenclaw. Let's invite the elves too while we're at it." I scoff.

"Good morning to you too, Draco." I cringe at Lovegood's use of my name.

"That's Malfoy to you. Actually, don't speak to me at all."

"Is this one of the side effects for erectile dysfunction? Grumpiness?" 

Everyone snorts, trying to hold back their laughter. 

Erectile dysfunction?

"What the fuck are you talking about, Lovegood?"

"Don't you have erectile dysfunction? A couple months ago I heard that you couldn't get—"

"Lunes." Lozano cuts her off, giving her a warning stare.

"What?"

"That's a load of bullshit. Isn't that right, Karkaroff?" I snicker at her, and her eyes narrow at me before Lovegood opens her annoying mouth again.

"Well actually, _she's_ the one that said it." 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

"Well actually, _she's_ the one that said it." I'm going to cut Lovegood's tongue off. 

Draco tilts his head to the side, and the corner of his lip quirks up. 

Why is he looking at me like that?

"Really?" he nods his head thoughtfully, staring into my soul. Next thing I know I feel something stroking my leg. I lean back a little to take a look. He's brushing his leg on mine. "Interesting... Was it not you that couldn't walk after—"

"That's enough." I cut him off, kicking his leg away.

"Enough? You seemed like you wanted more that night." He creeps his leg back on mine, moving in closer so he can squeeze in between my thighs.

"Holy shit, you two actually fu—"I cut off Blaise, picking up the paring knife from the side of my plate, pointing it at him "Malfoy, I will chop your dick off and make you choke on it."

"Or _you_ can choke on it?" He stares at the piled food on my plate. "By the looks of it, you already have a large appetite." 

I squint my eyes at him, trying my best to ignore his comment. He moves in closer until his knee hits my crotch. 

"Mhmm" he hums, wetting his bottom lip, calculating my every reaction, while diligently unwrapping his muffin. "The muffin. It's perfectly _moist_." He takes a bite a slow bite out of it, staring into my soul.

"Don't use that fucking word unless you want to be cleaning up my vomit." Blaise fake gags.

He nuzzles his knee in more, pressing onto the wet lace of my panties. I _could_ be stopping him... 

I lean in to the table, reaching out to grab an apple from the fruit bowl but he pushes his knee forward, causing me to stop, grabbing the apple before me. "I was going to have that." I scowl at him.

"I know." He grins, taking a bite out of the apple until he starts moving his knee in circular motions, rubbing up against me. His _knee_. How can his knee, make me feel like my souls about to jump out of my body?

He carries on with his conversations, glancing at me from the corner of his eye every now and then to catch my reactions. He's enjoying this. 

I take occasional drinks from my water, trying to hide the fact that he's touching me under the table, in the Great Hall of all places. He turns to look at my reactions and notices I'm rather calm. 

"I haven't heard a sound from you, Karkaroff? Everything alright?" He mocks me, and everyone turns to face me, expecting a response.

"Yeah, you seem a little tense." Lovegood says joyously, with a smirk.

"I'm perfectly—" His knee makes a sudden move and the lace of my underwear grazes over a spot that I didn't know was possible to touch without something _in_ me. "Fine." I finish off, taking yet another drink from my water. He quickens his pace, rubbing against me side to side. I open my legs wider to give him more access and he rolls his tongue inside his cheek, raising a brow at my action. The faster he goes, the more water I find myself drinking, until it finishes.

He glances at my empty glass, rubbing more knowing damn well I have nothing to silence myself with now. "More water, Karkaroff?" He asks me innocently, but his question is anything but innocent.

I nod at him, resting my mouth on my hand, tightly curled into a fist.

"Speak up, I need words." He pushes me to say something. 

"Yes." I mumble on my knuckles.

"What was that?" He's testing me. I narrow my eyes at him, warning him to stop fucking with me.

"Mate, I think she said yes." Theo interrupts.

"I need to hear it loud and clear from _her_." He pushes against me again, causing my breath to hitch.

"Yes Malfoy, give me more fucking water." I want to kill him.

"Very dirty mouth, Karkaroff. That's not very polite." He grabs the water pitcher, lifting it and leaning in to the table to pour it in my glass, very, very slowly, now bouncing his leg up and down so his knee hits all the right places.

The more he bounces his knee, the more friction and vibrations I feel, making me feel the tension build up between my legs. I roll my eyes at his slowness and he finally finishes pouring the water. I reach out to grab the glass in hopes I can distract myself again but he pulls it away from me. 

"Do that again and I'll _give_ you something to roll your eyes about." He lowers his voice, warning me, while pushing the water towards me. I quickly grab it, drowning my insides with the ice-cold water, hoping it'll burn out the fire within me. But it doesn't. It grows as his pace quickens. Every gulp of water streaming down my throat quickly, like his touch.

Just a little more...

He instantly pulls his leg away from between my legs, and leans back in his seat. 

Dick.

He notices my distress, and mouths something to me. "Let me fuck you" He exaggerates every letter so I understand. 

"No." I mouth back.

It's not that I don't want to. I do. Desperately. But I fear that if I get used to his touch, I may never be able to feel satisfied the same way. Afterall, he won't be in my life forever. We're going to move on with our own lives eventually, I can't spend the rest of my life thinking about him and his dick.

But that's not my only reason.

Letting him take control. I liked it. I shouldn't have, but I did. 

I aggressively stab my fork into the potato's, and take a large bite. 

"Be careful, don't choke." He snickers at me.

Ignore him Asya. Ignore him.

"Eat your strawberries too. Very nutritious."

That's it.

"One more word, I fucking dare you." I enunciate my words, watching him very carefully. I'm _so_ close to throwing my fork at his eye. 

"Good morninggg." I hear DeLaney but I can't focus on him, too busy having a staring match with Draco. "Helloooo?"

"Shut up." Draco and I say in unison, still staring at each other.

"What's wrong, now?"

"They're both horny." Luna replies bluntly.

"I've lost my appetite." I push my plate aside, patting the corners of my mouth with a napkin.

"Finish up." He gestures to my plate. "Wouldn't want all that food to go to waste."

What the hell is his problem?

"No," I smile at him. "We wouldn't." I take my plate and throw the food on him; eggs, potato's, fruits all sliding down his figure. 

"Asya..." Theo warns me.

"You must be thirsty too. More water?" I take the glass pitcher, pouring it down his head. 

"Thatta girl." Willow takes out her phone, snapping a picture of him. "Oh wait." She picks up a cherry that dropped on the table, putting it on his head. "Now _that's_ the cherry on top." She snaps another photo.

"Finish up Malfoy, wouldn't want all that food to go to waste." I nod at his plate noticing his eyes darken, before I walk away. 

He's definitely going to murder me for that. 

Oh well.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"After you've removed the potion form the heat, put a silk cloth over it and let it steep." Professor Slughorn directs us. "Next week you'll all be smelling the potion and sharing your results with the class."

I put a white silk cloth over the cauldron and put it aside in a dark corner. 

"Hey Asya" Montague slides next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I immediately shrug him off, ignoring him.

"What? You don't miss me?" He pouts.

"No." I give him a dry reply.

"You're a bad liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Mhmm." He slides his hand on my thigh, creeping up. I pull his hand off my thigh.

"Don't touch me. You're already breaking the rules, I told you I'd find you when I needed you. Not the other way around."

"Maybe I want to break the rules." He starts playing with my hair. 

"Montague, I'm not in the mood. Just fuck off." I really am not in the mood. I have a migraine, I want to eat, and I don't like this touchiness, especially when its him.

"Are you on your period? What's with the bitchy attitude."

"Montague you have five seconds to leave or I will pour whatever's in that boiling cauldron, over your head." I nod to the black cauldron beside me.

"I think you're becoming a little too comfortable, _darling_. Just because I like your controlling side, doesn't mean I'll actually let you control me."

"Yeah, well it's a little too late for that. I already do." Literally, I have him hanging off a string like a puppet.

He leans in closer, whispering in my ear. "Don't play with me..." 

"Five seconds is up." I grab the cauldron and lift it up to throw it on him before a pair of hands stops me, grabbing it out of my hand and placing it back on the counter.

"Montague, leave."

"I'm not talking to you, Malfo—"

"Leave." I turn around and see Draco towering over me, looking Montague dead in the eye like he's about to kill him. 

Montague looks at me for a moment, "this conversation isn't over." He gets up and leaves, and Draco replaces his seat.

Yes, it is.

He pops his spearmint gum, putting one elbow on the table so he can rest his chin on his hand. "Look, I don't care if you pour _that_ on him, or stab him, but I'd rather you do it after our task."

"Mhmm" I hum, mimicking his sitting position, putting my chin on my hand. "When are you planning on punishing me?"

He stares blankly at me, "for what?"

"For turning you into an all-you-can eat buffet." He continues staring blankly. Is he stupid? "You think I'd actually believe that you're not scheming something in that blonde, fucked-up head of yours."

"You think too highly of yourself. Why would I spend all my time and energy scheming for you? I don't care enough."

"You don't care?" I nod at his response. Bullshit. "Okay." I take small, silver scalpel off the cutting board, and slide closer next to him, lowering my voice. "So, you don't care if I cut up some rose thorns and accidentally happen to cut off your finger with it?" I look up at him innocently, batting my lashes, before I stab the scalpel into the table, right between his index and middle finger.

He doesn't even flinch as he looks down at me, and his eyes spark at my comment. He rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, smiling. "Are you trying to scare me, Karkaroff?"

"No..." I sweep away the fluff on his shirt, looking back up at him. "Why, are you scared?"

"I'm not the one that should be scared..." He rubs his jaw, looking me up and down.

"Ahhh, I knew you had something planned for me." I lean in closer, tilting my head to get a better look of him. "What is it?" 

"I have nothing planned, Karkaroff." He takes the scalpel out of the table.

"Mhmmm." I hum, placing a hand on his thigh. "Nothing?"

He looks down at my hand, looking back at me with a smirk on his face, "Nothing." He takes his hand with the knife and places it on my thigh, giving me a daring look.

"I don't believe you." I whisper, creeping my hand up higher up his thigh.

"That sounds like a _you_ problem." He mocks me, moving his hand up _my_ thigh while I feel the cold blade touch my skin. He uses his other hand to fix the collar of my shirt. "Have you thought about my offer, Karkaroff?"

"I'm going to need you to be a tad bit more specific." I know exactly what he's talking about. I just like hearing how desperate he is to have me.

"The _only_ offer I made you." He gives me an annoyed look. 

"A lot of people make a lot of offers to me, Malfoy."

He slides a folded piece of parchment into my hand. "What's this?"

"Another offer." He smirks at me. 

I go to unfold the paper but he puts his hand over mine to stop me. "Don't open that now. Do it later when you're somewhere private."

"What? You gifting me with your nudes?" 

"Oh, I'm gifting you with something better." He says, mischievously. 

"Now I really want to open it."

"Patience, Karkaroff. I don't want you going into cardiac arrest in class." He rubs up and down my thigh, his fingers tracing over the mark that I still have yet to look at, before he pokes the tip of the scalpel into the fresh scar, causing me to wince from pain. "In the meantime..." He leans in closer and looks me dead in the eye. "Stay away from Montague."

"That's for me to decide." I smile at him. I will _definitely_ be staying away from him, but I like making Draco mad.

"Mhmmm." He hums, tucking in a loose curl behind my ear. 

"Alright everyone. Class is dismissed. Make sure to read your notes for next week's potion." Slughorn informs us.

"Look between your legs and you'll see who really decides." He slams the scalpel in front of me, gathering his things, and leaves. 

What _did_ he carve in my inner thigh?

I walk to the girls bathroom, going in one of the stalls, and lifting up my skirt.

He did not...

_D.M'S WHORE_

I'm going to _kill_ him.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I've just finished my last class of the day and I'm going to the common room to relax a little. I'm exhausted. This cabinet will kill me one day, I'm counting on it.

Just when I was thinking about laying on the sofa, relaxing in front of the fireplace, long lost Parkinson's already beat me to it. 

She's reading. 

She reads? 

She looks up and notices me, before closing her book and getting up to leave, without a single word. 

Pansy Parkinson is leaving. 

Without even snapping at me.

New year, new Parkinson...?

I take a seat on the couch and take out the paper Draco gave me earlier today.

I want to see what would put me in cardiac arrest.

**REHABILITATION CONTRACT OF VOLUNTARY SUBMISSION  
**

BETWEEN 

**DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY**

("The Dominant")

**ASYA KARKAROFF**

("The Submissive")

**THE PARTIES AGREE AS FOLLOWS**

The following are the binding terms between the Dominant and the Submissive.

**RULES**

**1\. OBEDIENCE:** The Submissive will obey to any instructions given by the Dominant, immediately without hesitation.

 **2\. HEALTH:** The Submissive will ensure she achieves a minimum of eight hours of sleep, drink no less than eight glasses of water and eat three full-course meals a day—of the Dominant's choosing. The Submissive will not engage in any drug or alcohol consumption, unless permitted by the Dominant.

 **3\. CLOTHING:** The Submissive will dress modestly unless specified otherwise by the Dominant.

 **4\. RELATIONSHIPS:** The Submissive will only be involved in sexual relations with the Dominant and no one else. The Submissive will not touch or be touched by anyone other than the Dominant unless permitted by the Dominant.

 **5\. CURFEW:** The Submissive will comply to a nightly curfew of 11:00 PM to which she must either be in her dorm room or in the Dominant's dorm room by then.

 **6\. BIRTH CONTROL:** The Submissive must drink the potion given by the Dominant to prevent pregnancy.

 **7\. CONFIDENTIALITY:** The relationship between the Dominant and the Submissive will only be sexual and will be kept confidential between the two parties.

**SAFEWORD:**

The Submissive may use STRAWBERRY as a safe word whenever their boundaries are pushed.

I scan over the document and glance over the ' **ACTIVITIES** ' section.

Vaginal Intercourse

Masturbation/Mutual Masturbation

Oral Sex

Needles, Knives, Blood

Breath Control

Electrostimulation

Electrostimulation?

Bondage

Fire Play

Ice

Hot Wax

Biting

Spanking

And that's not even half the list. I skim over the rest, jumping to the last section.

**CONCLUSION:**

By signing this contract, the parties have agreed to comply to everything listed above. Failure to comply with any of the above rules will make the Submissive subject to punishment by the Dominant.

**PARTY A (DOMINANT): _ DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY_**

**PARTY B (SUBMISSIVE):** ___________________

"Look who we have here..." My attention is brought up to DeLaney walking towards me, spinning his coke spoon keychain around his index finger. I quickly fold up the paper and tuck it in my shirt.

"I'm surprised your alive after what you did this morning." He takes a seat on the arm chair across from me.

"No, I'm dead. You're talking to my ghost." I reply with bored tone.

"You definitely _look_ dead. You not wearing makeup?" He snickers.

No, just haven't slept in twenty six hours.

"See, normally I'd make you regret saying that, but you're lucky I'm tired today."

He hums before taking out a small baggie.

Merlin's sake, he is _not_ doing _that_ in front of me.

"Out of the all the places you could be doing that, you choose here?" I scold him.

"Yeah... pretty much." He dips the tip of the spoon in the bag, snorting the white powder into his left nostril. "Want some?" He shakes the bag in front of me.

"Nope, not trying to have my nose collapse on me."

He rolls his eyes. "You _do_ realize that only happens after prolonged, heavy use of this, right?"

"You _do_ realize I don't want to die a drug addict, right?"

"Suit yourself." He responds in a singy-songy voice, snorting it one more time before putting it away, leaning his head back on the arm chair, and closing his eyes.

He seems pretty relaxed... maybe I could use this opportunity to take a little peak in his pea-sized brain. See what he's hiding...

I take a couple breaths, relaxing my mind when I feel a force block me. 

"I know what you're doing." He says with a neutral tone, still keeping his eyes closed.

He's an Occlumens.

"How do you know Occlumency?"

"How do you know Legilimency?"

"Answer my question first."

"Answer _mine_ first."

I give him a sharp glare, and he opens his eyes, staring across at me. I focus on his deep brown iris's, while watching his pupils dilate. Snape said in cases of emergencies only. This _is_ an emergency. I want to know _everything_ about this bastard. "You will answer every question I ask you." 

His eyes go into a trance state, and he looks at me, dazed, before responding "I will answer every question you ask me."

Why didn't I try this earlier?

I'll start by the simples. Who knows? His name might even be a lie. "Who are you?"

"Zane DeLaney." He responds without hesitation.

Okay...

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"Where are your parents?"

"Dead."

"How did they die?"

"They drowned in the Black Lake."

"Why did you come back to Hogwarts?" 

Apparently, he just happened to move back here out of pure coincidence. But no one randomly moves back to Hogwarts from half way across the world.

He pauses for a moment, before giving me an answer.

"To kill you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say... I am scared for my sanity, purity, and EVERYTHING in between. Things are getting chaotic, and this is just the beginning. 
> 
> Comment your theories, discussions, suggestions, or just say hi :)


	33. RISKS

****

**Things are about to get dramaticccc very soon. Also, there might be spice... idk...**

**[MATURE CONTENT]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"To kill you." He stares blankly at me.

Did Voldy send him?

But he wasn't at the ceremony... 

Should I kill him now? Or should I kill him later?

Avada?

No, too risky, I'll get caught.

My daggers?

Perhaps... 

Torture him and find out more, then eventually let him suffer a slow, painful death?

That's better.

Out of nowhere, his blank face breaks into amusement, and he starts laughing. 

"Holy shit, you should've seen your face." He continues laughing, but I just stare. 

What the hell?

His laughter dies down and he gets serious, clenching his jaw while he runs his fingers through his hair. "You think I'm an idiot? I know how to block that little hypnosis thing you were doing." He starts impersonating me "What is your age? Who are you?" 

I continue looking at him without saying a word. I really need to find out who this bitch is. He can block my legilimacy, my hypnosis doesn't work on him, and now he's talking about killing me.

"Are you actually scared?" He watches my expression carefully. "Calm down, it was a fucking joke."

Was it a joke?

Either way, he mentioned killing me. I won't take that lightly.

I stare for a moment longer, before breaking into false laughter, "a joke." My laughter falters, as I get up from my seat and walk towards him, placing my hands on each side of the arm chair, trapping him there, looking down into his deep, dark brown eyes. "I don't like jokes."

He tilts his chin up, scooting closer to me. "Yeah?" He smirks up at me mischievously. "What do you like?"

"Karkaroff." I hear a familiar, deep voice.

Oh, for fucks sake.

I feel a tight grip on my arm, before I'm turned around to face a pair of angered grey eyes. 

"Malfoy." DeLaney nods at him. 

"DeLaney." He narrows his eyes at him, looking him up and down.

Are we taking attendance?

"Come with me." Draco looks down at me expectedly.

"No." I reply with a bored tone. I want to piss him off, it gives me my daily dose of adrenaline. 

"No?" He tilts his head.

"No." I smile at him.

"Take a seat, _Karkaroff._ " DeLaney leans back in his seat, opening his legs, and pats his lap, with a smug look on his face.

Draco turns to me aggressively, leaning into my ear, lowering his voice. "Go to my room. Now."

I slightly shift my face away from him, looking between the both of them. I look at DeLaney and nod at him before leaving. I'm not going to his room, I'm going to mine. If he's that desperate, which he is, he'll come to me, not the other way around. 

_"To kill you."_

He's high, it's just something stupid he said.

It better be something stupid he said because I'm already dealing with two tasks, I don't want to have to deal with him too. 

I hate having trust issues. I can't eat, sleep, breathe, _live_ , without thinking someone's going to come at me any second and stab me in the back. 

All my experiences, my pain, _everything_ , has turned me into a person that overthinks and shuts people out to avoid them from seeing too much of me. Because if they do, they'll use it against me. 

Tonight's not going to be my last encounter with DeLaney. Not until I learn every single thing about him. Then I'll get rid of him. 

I lay in bed on my stomach, thinking about everything I could do when my door flies open, a dark figure standing at the door. 

"I said, _my_ room." Draco walks in, closing the door behind him.

"Okay." I respond blandly.

He sits on my green arm chair in the corner of my room, rubbing his jaw. He seems distressed. He stays silent, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, putting his forehead in his palm. 

I wait a moment longer, before breaking the silence. "Are you going to start crying? Because I'm telling you right now, I'm not the comforting type."

"Shhhh." He shushes me, letting out a loud sigh, before talking "what did he say to you?"

What?

"That's none of your business."

He lifts his head up from his hand, looking angrily at me. "Karkaroff answer the damn question, what did he say to you?"

I rest my chin on my hand, giving him a bored look. "Do I need to fucking repeat myself. That's none of your business."

He gets up from the arm chair, abruptly, and storms towards me, placing his hands on the bed, while towering over me "What. Did. He. Say?" His eyes search for an answer that I won't give him.

I turn to my side, getting in a sitting potion on my bed, tilting my chin up towards him. "None. Of Your. Business."

He slams his fist into my mattress, rubbing his face vigorously while pacing around the room. "One fucking question, Karkaroff. All you have to do is answer one goddamn question!"

"Why do you fucking care so much? I don't question all _your_ conversations."

He stops in his tracks, turning around to face me, giving me a serious look. "Stay away from him."

Excuse me?

I narrow my eyes at him, "what?"

"What?" He imitates my voice. "Are you fucking daft? You won't go near him, or talk to him or even look at him."

I start laughing at his audacity, rolling on my back from laughter.

Who the hell does he think he is?

This contract?

The mark he gave me?

Now this?

As my laughter dies down, I get back up in a sitting position, taking a deep breath to control myself. "Were you dropped on your head as a child?" I get up from the bed and walk towards him. "Who are _you_ to tell _me_ who I can and cannot be around?"

He sighs deeply, like he's trying to control himself, before cracking his neck to the side, looking down at me. "Did you sign it?"

Is he serious right now?

"Did you sign it, Karakroff?" He repeats more aggressively due to my silence.

"Your sick contract?" I let release a soft, sarcastic laugh. "No, I didn't. And I don't know what in your mind thought that I would actually sign something like that?"

His serious face, turns into one of knowingness and mischief. "Oh, you'll sign it. It's the only way you can fully get rid of me. That is... _if_ you want to get rid of me."

Maybe I don't want to get rid of him... yet.

"More than you know. And I have a couple things in mind to get rid of you, without having to bind myself to this contract." I lean back against the wall, next to him.

He turns to the side, placing both his hands above my head, locking me beneath him. "Mhmm, like what?"

I nod my head towards the box where I keep my daggers. "Thirty seconds, Malfoy." I move a piece of stray hair away from his brow. "Thirty seconds is all it would take to get rid of you, once the tip of one of those daggers breaks through your skin."

He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, "you just told me how you're planning on killing me. Not very smart, Karkaroff."

I lean in towards his face, "darling, I gave you a little sample of my many other plots to do that."

He leans in closer, our lips one movement away from touching. "And what if I kill you first?"

I look at him eye to eye, searching for any kind of truth in what he said. I can't read him. I don't know if he'd actually kill me or not. "You wouldn't be the first to try. Go for it."

He grazes his lip along my cheek, lowering his voice. "How do you want to die, Karkaroff?"

I shift my head so the tip of our noses touch, as our eyes pierce through each other's souls. "I don't want a boring death. Make it exciting. If anything, take one of those daggers and plunge it straight through my heart."

I see his eyes spark, glancing down at my chest, before looking back up at me. "You want me to break your heart, Karkaroff?"

"I'd want to see you at least try to. Who knows? You might be the first to succeed."

"That can be arranged." He tucks in a stray curl behind my ear. "But for now, I'd like to break your back." He pulls away from me, giving me more room.

"What's in it for me?" I fold my arms over my chest.

"Pleasure." He grins, slyly.

"You'd have to be a sex god in order to get me to sign that thing." I scoff. 

He already _is_ one. Literally, he's the only person who's ever been able to make me come without my assistance. 

He smirks, shaking his head. "I'm no sex god. I'm better."

I ignore his comment, and start fidgeting with my nails. "A contract... professional, organized, no spelling or grammar mistakes, its impressive given your lack of... literacy. But what's the point?"

"I told you, I need to get you out of my system. A contract that lists all my terms, allows me to do that comfortably with your full consent, without having to think about whether you're uncomfortable with the things we're doing or not?"

"Awwww, do you care about me?" I pout.

"No," he scoffs. "I care about _me_. If you're uncomfortable, I won't be able to go through with the things I want to do. The things I _wanted_ to do the night I had you."

"I gave you control that night. I assumed you took it."

"I wanted to. But I couldn't give my _all_. Not everyone can handle my..." He scans my body with his eyes, " _preferences_."

"And _you_ know what I can and cannot handle?"

"I do, _somewhat_. That's why you're the only person I'm making this offer to."

I gasp sarcastically, placing my hands over my chest. "I'm honoured."

He rolls his eyes, continuing. "Five months, Karkaroff. Then our task will be done, so will this contract between us, and everything will be over."

"Do you truly believe that you'll be able to get me out of your system in five months?"

He smirks, daringly. "I'll be able to get you out of my system after a couple hours with you. It's _you_ who's going to need the five months after what I'm going to do to you."

Maybe not five months... like two... ish...

"You couldn't get in my system, even if you tried to."

"Sign the contract and prove it." He takes out a folded paper from his back pocket, and conjures a quill. 

I squint my eyes, focusing on the writing on the paper. He has another copy?!

Maybe if I just—

"I have three hundred more copies, just in case you plan on destroying it..." He grins evilly.

I scoff, shaking my head at his preparedness. "All of this is fucking insane. What am I? Your whore?" He looks between my legs, rolling his tongue inside his cheek. "Don't answer that." I point my finger at him. 

He holds my finger, pulling it down "So, what do you say?"

"I say, you're a sick, narcissistic, dick head who needs to go pray."

He wets his bottom lip, looking down at me like I'm a meal. "You are my _prey_." 

I stare at him for a moment, before ripping the contract out of his hand, and the quill out the other. "You want this contract signed, yeah?"

"Ideally." He watches the contract in my hand, carefully.

"Okay." I use the back of the quill, gliding it down his chest. "Under one condition."

His eyes spark in interest. "Enlighten me."

" _I'm_ the dominant, _you're_ the submissive."

His softened expression turns confused, as he furrows his brows. "Are you joking?"

I pull away from him. "Does it look like I'm joking?" I take a seat in my arm chair, crossing one leg over the other. "If you thought, me, of all people, would let you treat me like a pet for five months, you're wrong. I like my control, you know this. So, _I'll_ be the dominant."

He takes a step forward. "I like my control too, _you_ know this. So, _I'll_ be the dominant."

I uncross my legs, leaning over them both. "My way or no way. Pick your poison."

"Karkaroff." He gives me a warning glare.

"Malfoy." I glare back. "Oh, and also, there's a couple more modifications I'd like to make on that contract of yours."

"I didn't even agree to the first modification."

"Well, if you want to go through with this _rehabilitation_ thing, you're going to have to give me control. Don't worry, you'll still get your pleasure. It'll just be in my hands."

He laughs sarcastically, trying his best to remain calm. Like he has a choice... "I think you're a little confused. You don't understand the purpose of this contract."

"No, _you_ don't understand. Either give me full control or you'll have to spend the rest of your life fantasizing about having sex with me while you're with other girls." I get up from my seat walking towards him. "We're the same, what makes you think I would give up my control for _months_ , if you won't?"

He releases a distressed breath. I roam around my room, arranging the misplaced book in my bookshelf. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by some of those things I saw on the contract. If our first night together wasn't you taking full control, I'm curious to see what you _fully_ in control would look like."

"So, you'll consider it?" He smirks.

I look over my shoulder, to see hope in his eyes. _Awwww._ "No." 

That hope shatters, revealing his cold gaze yet again. "I'll give you a week to think about it."

"My decision still won't change."

"A lot changes in a week, Karkaroff."

The door barges open and we both turn to face it.

Willow looks between the both of us with a blank face, before a smirk curls on her lips. "Am I interrupting something?" She points her two fingers between us.

Draco looks at me, for a last time, before walking past Willow, leaving.

Willow scans around the room, looking back at me. "Where's the wheelchair?"

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"No, you idiot, you throw the rose petals when she comes in." I direct Crabbe. 

"Asya, what colour do you want the confetti?" Goyle shows me two baskets, one with silver confetti, one with gold.

"Confetti? You're a wizard, use your wand to conjure something sparkly, and mess free."

It's Daphne's birthday today and Blaise rented out some club. He begged us to help him organize something. 

After more people show up, DeLaney walks in with Willow, helping her carry her stash bag.

I forgot he's actually friends with Daphne.

Maybe he'll get high enough to the point where he'll just tell me everything without me having to do all the work. 

Blaise is pacing around the club like he drank a whole case of pop, and he's sweating a lot too. "Asya?" He waves for me to come over to him.

"Why do you look like you're about to pass out?" I put the back of my hand on his forehead. He feels fine.

"Because I _am_ about to pass out." He pops one button on his shirt open. 

"What? Did you forget to get her a gift?" I tease him.

"It's not that." He sighs, distressed. "Where's Malfoy?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

Probably too busy getting an STD.

"Fuck" He rubs the back of his neck. "He said he'd show up early."

"Blaisey baby, catch." Theo throws a stack of muggle money at him.

"The fuck is this?" He holds it up, observing it.

"Shower the birthday girl with some of your Zabini wealth." Theo puts his arm around me, fanning me with a pile of money. "And _this_ is for you."

I shift my head to the side, meeting his scheming gaze. "What for?"

"You'll see..." He grins.

"Oi! Where the hell have you been?!" I hear Blaise yell out before my full attention goes on Draco, walking in through the door with a dark grey wool, button up coat, and his usual black on black collared dress shirt and pants. Apparently, he has a new accessory. Violletta Mancini; a Slytherin. 

Blaise and Draco whisper something to each other, before he shoves something in Blaise's pocket.

I observe her carefully. Long brown hair, unnatural curls, overdrawn lips, cheap red lipstick.

Smells like an _impersonator_... 

Theo leans in to look at my point of focus. "Keep staring at her like that and she might run away."

I look away, turning to Theo. "No need. Wait until she sees Willow. Then she'll leave..." If she's still alive by then."

Willow's family and the Mancini's have a long history of... conflict. Her great uncle knocked up Violetta's great aunt. All while she was engaged to the most powerful, wealthiest Pureblood family in Sicily, the Mancini's. They were planning on running away together before her fiancé killed them both for his honour, and married her sister. They've had a blood feud ever since, and on top of that, they're competitors in this whole drug business. 

Willow walks back from the bathroom, wiping underneath her nose. "Daph's coming in five mi—" She sees Violletta and her eyes go dark. "Looks like we're going to Azkaban today." Willow rolls up her sleeves, taking out her wand. Violetta notices, and takes out hers too, pointing at one another.

"Ladies, ladies." Theo walks in between them to mediate the situation. I can't even focus on what they're saying over their yells. 

"Why is it that the feistiest girls always find their way to me." Draco walks beside me, watching the argument with me. 

I turn my head slightly to meet his satisfied smirk. "Maybe because you're so annoying, they all go mad."

He tries his best to hide his satisfied grin, leaning in to my ear, placing his hand gently on the small of my back. "Do I make you mad, Karkaroff?" His breath tickles my ear. 

I shift my head, watching his eyes flicker between my eyes and my mouth. "Not in the slightest."

"No?" His hand creeps lower.

"No." I repeat, trying my best to seem unbothered.

His hand moves lower, and lower, before I feel a tug on the end of my dress.

"Your dress is too short." He whispers, pulling it down.

I try to pull his arm away, but he keeps his hold on my dress to prevent it from rising up.

"She's here! Crabbe, turn the lights off!" Blaise yells out. Everyone shifts around, positioning themselves. Draco pulls me by my arm, dragging me to the back.

The lights turn off, and I feel Draco's presence right behind me, as his soft breathing fans against the nape of my neck.

He doesn't say anything. But his presence is enough to tell me he wants me right now. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him too right now. This whole contract, it's just another one of his games. Or he's just a sex maniac. 

I don't like being controlled. But with him, it's different. It's the risk, the anticipation of not knowing what he's about to do. He makes me feel things I've never felt before. And that scares the shit out of me.

The door opens and Daphne walks in before everyone shouts "Happy birthday!"

But the lights don't open.

"Crabbe, the lights." Goyle whisper-yells.

"Sorry." He mumbles before turning on the lights.

Oh. My. Godric.

He didn't...

"Uhhh, so I—Oh shit, give me a sec." Daphne's eyes are wide open as Blaise is on one knee, before he pulls out a red, velvet box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a _fat_ diamond ring. Mummy Zabini's eight inheritances definitely paid off.

Theo clears his throat, whispering in his ear. 

"What?" Blaise looks at him, confused.

He whispers in his ear again but Blaise still struggles to understand.

"Oh, for fucks sake." He ignores Theo. "Daph, you make me so fucking happy it's pathetic how much my happiness relies on you. I know we're young, I don't care. I can't think of a fucking day where I live without you and I—"

Daphne jumps on him, causing them both to fall on the ground, as she showers him with kisses.

"YES YES YES!" She continues to kiss him and Goyle throws the confetti that I told him not to use, while Crabbe throws rose petals everywhere.

He's an idiot for proposing to a girl who doesn't even know who he _really_ is—a death eater. On top of that, we're going to have a war in just months due time, where he might drop dead, she might drop dead, or they both will. 

"Fucking pathetic." I scoff under my breath only to notice that Draco said the same thing in unison with me; the both of us look at each other from the corner of our eyes, before he walks over to Violetta, pulling her somewhere with him.

"Alright, congrats, I hope you have wonderful little Zabini babies running around. Now if you're done with the mushy stuff, let's start this fucking party already!" Theo puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles, and the club goes dark before neon lights flash up while a line of people come in... strippers.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, Theo rips his shirt and pants off, revealing his neon yellow boxer briefs with _baby got back_ written on the back of them.

What in the Magic Mike—

Nononono.

A random male stripper comes up to me.

"Nope, get away." I raise my hands up, backing away but he doesn't listen and starts grinding on me. 

Ew, no I can't.

"Hey!" Theo storms over, pushing him out of the way. "Fuck off, yeah?" He points over to Crabbe, directing him that way. "What do you think?" He moves his hands, gesturing to his outfit.

"You look good in those." I tease him, pointing my eyes to his neon boxers. 

"I know." He grins in satisfaction. "Quidditch practice has me built different." He puts his arm around me but retracts it, looking down at the floor, frowning. "I'm supposed to be mad at you."

"Why?" I try hard to hold back my laugh because Theo can't put on a serious face for the life of him.

"How come I was the last to find out about you and Draco?"

Well, thanks to Draco's big mouth, everyone at the dining table found out.

"It wasn't something meant finding out."

"But you fucked him?" He looks up from the floor, his big blue eyes staring back at me.

"I'm not responding to that."

"You are right now." He argues back with a smug look on his face.

"Theo, you're such a baby." I roll my eyes at him.

"Your baby, _baby_." He puts his arm around me again.

A song comes on and Theo's whole mood switches. He pulls my hands, dragging me to a chair near the dance floor, before turning his head to the side. Blaise and him both make eye contact, pointing to each other, "let's kick it old school!" He yells out.

He moves away from me, bopping his shoulders to the beat. _"This speech is my recital."_

 _"I think it's very vital."_ Blaise sings along, walking towards Theo; his shoulders doing the same movement.

_"To rock"_

_"A rhyme."_

_"That's right."_

_"On time."_

_"It's tricky it's the title."_

_"Here we go!"_ The both yell out in unison, high-fiving each other, before they start dancing.

Everyone starts crowding around them. Everyone except Draco. He glances at me from the corner of his eye, a smug looking growing on him, before he leans in to whisper something in Violetta's ear, making her giggle. 

Byeeee.

 _"I met this little girly,"_ Theo and Blaise walk towards me, each moving to either side of me. _"Her hair was kinda curly,"_ They both fluff my curls, pulling away. 

Next thing I know, Blaise jumps over Theo's head, before he springs from off the ground, Theo pushing him down. Everyone cheers for them, and I can't help but let out an _actual_ laugh. This is too good.

I finally take a seat in one of the booths after a couple more songs, Crabbe running away from the male stripper that can't seem to get the hint, and me dancing with Willow to distract her from suffocating Violetta. Okay maybe to distract myself from suffocating her too.

I lift the flask to my mouth, taking a drink from it before I'm rudely interrupted. "Have you decided yet?"

I turn my head to see Draco towering over me, placing one hand on the back of the booth seat.

"Decided on how I'm going to kill you? Not yet, too many options."

"Really fucking witty." He scoffs, before sitting in the seat in front of me, leaning in across the table, lowering his voice. "I'm talking about the contract."

"No shit." I take another drink from my flask, "It's been two days, my decision still hasn't changed. Honestly Malfoy, it's all in your hands. All you have to do is let me be the _dom_."

"That's not going to happen, Karkaroff." 

"Then you can forget about that contract. Or just get your new _pet_ to sign it." I scoff. She'd sign it in a heartbeat.

"I could..." He grins, slyly. "But, it's not her I want, it's you." 

"You know it's interesting, every time I see you, you always have some girl around. This many girls yet the only person who can satisfy your sick desires is me?" I question him. 

"You're resilient Karkaroff. It's intriguing. You brush off pain like it's nothing. In fact, you like it, and that's where I can help you." He drinks from his glass, swirling around the ice in it. "This isn't just for me, it's for you too. I know you think being a Submissive means giving up all your control. But I promise you'll feel more liberated than ever before."

I stifle a laugh at his comment. I would feel liberated while I'm being taken control of? Okay... "How do you know what a submissive would feel if you're always in control?"

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat before replying. "You know nothing about me."

"Then tell me." I urge him. I've been trying to find out for months, maybe if I ask him straight up, he might slip up eventually.

He shakes his head, "I'd prefer to show you."

I roll my eyes, leaning back against the booth. "Sex isn't enough to give me a glimpse of who you are."

He too leans back, "It's a part of my life, it _is_ who I am."

"So, you're a sex addict?" I blurt out. 

He looks at me seriously, waiting a moment like he's thinking of a proper reply. "No, it's just how I express the way I feel."

So, sex addict.

I take a couple seconds to obseve his body language. "What do you feel right now?"

He glances at my lips, wetting his bottom lip, before letting out an exaggerated sigh. "Frustrated."

I cross one leg over the other, stroking his leg every so slightly. "And how would you express your frustration?"

"Right now?" He raises his brow.

"Right now." I nod.

I can see him gulp, before responding, "I would apparate you anywhere you wanted to go."

I cut him off before he can say anything else. "Waste of time, why not stay here?"

"Because you deserve to be fucked in a place where you feel most comfortable, rather than in a shitty bathroom or on a dirty table in a club."

Bare minimum, but impressive for a Malfoy. "What would you do after?"

He pauses, thinking diligently. "I would start by untying those thin strings holding up your dress." He observes the way it's knotted on my shoulders, practically undressing me with his eyes. "letting your dress drop, before using them to tie your wrists and ankles."

"Mhmm," I encourage him to go on.

He leans in closer, "Then, I would taste every bit of your delicate skin. Touching, kissing, licking, marking every inch— _claiming_ every inch of you, while watching you squirm desperately underneath me."

I'm too busy imagining all of this in my head, I don't even realize that I'm clenching my thighs and my breathing has stopped.

He swirls the ice in his glass, taking one out, "I'd take this ice cube," he slowly brings it to his mouth, letting just a tiny bit of his tongue slip out, sucking the alcohol on it. "And slowly drag it from your chest, down your stomach, stopping right before your—"

"Draco, come dance with me." Just when things were getting good, his Italian breadstick decides to make a fucking appearance. 

"Malfoy" He corrects her, dropping the ice cube back in the glass. "And don't _ever_ interrupt me again." He gives her a warning glare.

"Why are you so moody? I just want to—"

"I don't fucking care." He spits angrily, before looking at me from the corner of his eye, smirking. "Come with me." He grabs her hand and drags her along with him, to one of the private lounge rooms.

Was he not just talking about how he wanted to fuck me literally two seconds ago? 

I roll my eyes, chugging the burning liquid in my flask, letting it grow the fire within me.

I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine. I don't care if he fucks Pansy, or Violetta, or Bob fucking Marley. I don't. It's his cockiness that pisses me off. The fact that he actually thinks _I_ would care about who he sticks his dick in. He's nothing to me. I don't care at all.

"If you can't afford to buy a drink, I can always buy one for you." DeLaney slumps down in the seat in front of me, gesturing to my flask.

"I prefer bringing my own drinks, that way I don't have to worry about you trying to poison me." I meant that as a _joke_... or did I...

"I don't like poison. I'm a hands on the throat type of guy." 

"That's not suspicious at all." I finish the last drop, before tossing my flask on the table.

"Does that scare you?" He takes my flask, running his fingers over the designs, the sounds of his rings clashing with the metal.

"Does what scare me?" I take my flask from him, putting it aside. "You or your hints at killing me?"

"Both."

"Neither do." I respond without hesitation. 

"Mhmm." He drinks from his bottle. "Did you drug everyone with Ammorentia?"

"Excuse me?" I furrow my brows.

He plays with his rings. "Montague, Malfoy, Weasley—"

"Weasley?" I cut him off.

"Ohhhh, you didn't hear? Fred Weasley's got an eye for you."

Fred Weasley's never even talked to me before.

"So?" He props both his elbows on the table, resting his chin in his hands. "How do you do it?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's the hair." I reply sarcastically, flipping it.

"Maybe... " His eyes scan over my figure. "Or maybe you're just good in bed."

"What makes you think I've slept with all of them?" I scoff.

"I don't know..." He shrugs.

"What are you trying to say?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"I'm not trying to say anything." I spend a good fifteen seconds staring at him, waiting for a wall to break down so I can read him. Nothing.

"Why are you so interested in my life?" I break the silence.

"Why are _you_ interested in _mine_?" 

"I'm not, I'm just trying to understand your intentions. You're always around me when no one else is. So, you're either _actually_ trying to kill me, or you want to sleep with me."

He fiddles with the label on his bottle, not even looking at me. "It can't be both?"

He's trying to confuse me. And it's working.

"This is your third time insinuating you want to kill me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it's true."

"I _do_ want to kill you." He looks up from his drink, at me. "In bed."

A part of me is telling me his only intention isn't sex...

"Couldn't find anyone else of your liking?" I mock him.

"Not quite... I want to see what's so special about Asya Karkaroff that everyone feels obliged to sleep with you."

"Mhmm... So, you thought you'd give it a test drive. Is that it?"

"Test drive?" He tuts at my response. "I would _never_ objectify a woman like that. Unless that's your kink..." He raises a brow at me.

"Well DeLaney, maybe if you get on that pole and give me the performance of your life, you might find out." I dare him.

He leans in closer to my face from across the table. "You don't think I'll do it?"

I lean in more. "I don't know, will you?" I know he'll do it. Guys are idiots. They'll do anything to get in a girl's pants. 

He pulls away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Give me a song."

"You want a song?" I want him to embarrass himself. "The Macarena."

"The Macarena?" He nods his head thoughtfully, before taking a swig from his drink, and getting up from his seat. He goes to Theo and whispers something in his ear. Moments later the Macarena starts playing.

He's actually doing it?

He starts dancing on the pole like he's been a stripper for a decade. I'm surprised. Yet embarrassed _for_ him. He gets off the pole and starts doing the Macarena dance, walking towards me.

He puts his hands on the booth seat, slowly creeping up to me, towering over me. "That good enough?"

"Eh." I scrunch up my nose. "I give your performance a three, at most."

"A three?" He tilts his head, "let's make it a ten then." He grabs me by my hands, pulling me up to dance.

" _You're_ supposed to be the one dancing for _me_."

"I know." He swings my hands around. I give in and start dancing with him, loosening up once I realize that there's a whole crowd of people dancing. 

This is... fun. I'm _almost_ forgetting about why I'm actually trying to get close to him. He won't tell me anything, might as well make him think I enjoy his company and see if I can get the truth out of him. Afterall, once his dick unwinds, so will all his other secrets.

We start getting touchier, before I find myself turned around, pressed against him. He takes a hold of my hair, and twists it in his hand, pulling it all to one side so it's out of the way. I sway my hips against him, the sound of the music muffling from Theo screaming the lyrics.

He nuzzles his chin in the crook of my neck, holding my hips, moving along with me. "Looks like you actually know how to have fun. Who would've thought?" He speaks lowly beside my ear.

"Only tonight." I reply.

"Mhmm, so you up for risks?" I feel him smirking against my ear.

"What kind of risks?"

He spins me around to face him, and lifts my arms, wrapping them around his neck. 

He pulls out a pill, holding it between our faces.

"How do I know you're not trying to roofie me?" I eye the pill, looking up at him.

He laughs breathily, holding it up between his two fingers, slowly bringing it to his mouth.

"This proof enough?" He pulls out another pill, popping it in his mouth.

I don't condone this behaviour. 

Then again, if I want to get what I want from this, I need to... loosen up a bit.

I grab his face and pull him into a kiss; I let him take control, parting my lips, allowing him to slip one pill into my mouth. Just when I think he'd let go, he grabs my twisted hair, pulling me in closer to him. This kiss feels... different. I feel so much adrenaline; the music, the pill, the alcohol, the idea that I might be kissing someone who wants to kill me. I love the excitement. He bites my lip, pulling away slowly, grazing the tip of his nose against mine.

We're both breathless, looking into each other's eyes. Next thing I know, he pulls me with him and we end up in one of the private lounge rooms, making out. We don't notice anyone in the room until we hear a shifting noise, causing us to pull apart to notice two people making out. 

"Get the fuck out." DeLaney orders them. "Now."

They leave the lounge room and he casts a locking spell on it.

"No silencing spell?" I question him.

"I don't like silencing spells."

"And if someone hears?"

"Then you better shut the fuck up." He pulls me into another kiss, while sliding his hand slowly up my dress. He pulls away for a moment, looking down at me with hungry, lustful eyes, "you sure, _love_?"

"Shut up and fuck me, DeLaney." He smirks at my response, and grabs a fistful of my hair, pulling me into his lips, this time with more aggression. I feel the tip of his tongue slip into my mouth, slowly, just enough to make me want more. "Jump." He mumbles against my lips. 

I comply, wrapping my legs around his waist, as he pulls me to a table, and I lean back, lifting my legs slightly, allowing him to pull down my panties. He looks up at me, prying my legs open with his large hands, while slightly lifting up my dress. He watches my reactions as he slowly kisses from my ankle, all the way up to my inner thigh, before he stops.

Why did he stop?

"What's this?" He looks up at me, perking up a brow, while tracing his finger along the mark, _D.M.'s WHORE._

He doesn't even have to be here and he still manages to interfere with my sex life. 

"You're ruining the mood." I try to avoid his question, hoping he'll ignore the mark. I _would_ get rid of it. But maybe I don't want to... 

He shakes his head, amused by the situation before continuing, and planting a kiss right on my clit, making my breath shudder at his touch. He kisses my pussy slowly and gently, slipping a little tongue every now and then before sucking on it. 

Fuck, he's good. But it's not enough... 

"Mhmmm." He hums against me, knowing the vibrations will only please me more.

"Fuck DeLaney" I breath out, motivating him to flick his tongue out, slowly and gently along my folds, quickening his pace gradually. 

I run my fingers through his hair, bucking my hips against his mouth to push him down more, but he pulls away, pinning my hand on the table. "No touching." He warns me breathily. 

Great, another dominant prick.

Normally I'd wrap my leg around him and pull him down on the table, taking control, but I need to give him what he wants in order to get what _I_ want. Afterall, this is a life-or-death matter...

He puts his mouth on me again, bringing me to euphoria along with the effects of the drug. At the same time, he slips two fingers between my folds, maintaining his pace with his tongue. He rubs against my clit slowly and gently, before pushing two fingers into me, making me arch my back from the overwhelming rush of pleasure in my core. 

It's not enough. He's good, but I feel like something's missing. He looks up at me from between my legs, thrusting his fingers in me, and caressing me with his tongue all at the same time.

I let out a soft moan, making him smirk against me, coaxing my clit with gentle licks and sucks, quickening the pace of his fingers, before lightly grazing the tip of his teeth over my sensitivity. Just enough to get a louder moan from me. 

I feel a rush of pleasure growing inside me, before he pulls away, taking his fingers out of me, slowly sucking them clean, groaning in pleasure, "I think I found my favourite drug." 

He unbuckles his belt, lowering his pants and boxers, revealing his large, erect dick, under the red club lights in the lounge room. He looks me in the eye, stroking it with his large, veiny hand, watching me bite my lip in desperation. 

"Don't do that."

I sit up, propping myself on my elbows, while I bite my lip again, purposely.

He whispers a contraceptive charm and pulls my legs, sliding me closer to him, before grabbing my throat with his free hand, pinning me down on the table. "I said." He glides his tip up and down my pussy, slowly, building the tension between my legs. "Don't do that." He enters me slowly, letting my body get used to him, before pushing in further, pressing his thumb and index finger into the sides of my neck, just enough to arouse me more. 

My supressed moans grow louder, motivating him to quicken his pace. "Moan—my—name." He grunts out, as he thrusts into me.

"DeLaney." I smirk up at him, knowing that's not the name he wants me to say.

He towers over me, and quickens his pace, before he grips my hair, pulling my face up to his. "Say—my—fucking—name."

I want to call him by the wrong name, just to annoy him, but with one move, he has me unravelling at his touch. "Fuck—Zane," I whine out his name, and he smirks in satisfaction, whispering "good girl," before pounding into me at full force, with his hand still around my neck.

"So—fucking—good." He grunts after each thrust, as his brunette waves fall over his forehead, grazing mine. Brunette waves that start to look different...

They turn lighter...

And lighter...

And lighter...

Until his olive skin turns alabaster. His dark eyes turn into a silvery-grey. His hair now a white-blonde. 

What the fuck?

In the blink of an eye, the blonde is gone, and he's back to his original image. 

What just happened?

I feel myself contracting around his dick. He leans in more, burying his face in the crook of my neck and leaving trails of gentle kisses and sucks down my jaw, neck and collar bone, marking me, while maintaining his quick pace inside me.

I no longer feel anything. 

Too focused on the image that keeps playing my head. 

His soft blonde hair...

His addicting scent; much better than DeLaney's overwhelming cologne.

His whispers in my ear that _always_ manage to give me goosebumps. 

I help myself out a little bit, clenching my walls to help me reach my orgasm. He lets out a soft moan at my sudden movement, before I feel myself pulsating. "I'm going to—" I cut myself off with a loud moan, but he slaps his hand against my mouth, muffling my moans with the metallic taste of his rings.

"Not—until—I—say so." I thought he was going his fastest, but I was wrong. He thrusts into me making sure I memorize ever single inch of him. It's like he's trying to get my pussy used to the shape of him and _only_ him. He pulls away from me to look at me, as I feel my eyes roll back in pleasure. He pulls my face closer to his, moving his lips synchronously with mine, growing satisfaction from my desperate, breathy whimpers against his mouth. "You ready, _love_?"

I moan as an answer, "I need fucking words."

I struggle to speak up before finally letting an answer out "yes."

"Then fucking come for me, pretty girl."

A couple more thrusts and I find myself arching my back, reaching my all-time high. Before I can let out any sound, he silences me with a kiss, and we both moan into each other's mouths, as I feel his dick twitching inside me, ready to come. This—this is something else. My climax feels like I'm on cloud nine. It feels like a lifetime. Everything seems slowed down, relaxed, letting me take in all the pleasures of life. Maybe it's the drug, or maybe it's his dick. Either way, I feel like a goddess. 

He immediately pulls out, and I notice he's about to come. "Cum in my mouth." I insist, but before he can answer, I turn on the table slightly, licking his tip and bringing his dick into my mouth. His tip grazes the roof of my mouth before I slowly moving further down him, trying my best to avoid a gag, while forcing it to the back of my throat so I can easily swallow his cum. "Fuck Asya." He holds my hair up, groaning in pleasure while tipping his head back. I hum against his throbbing dick as he releases his cum into my mouth, and I feel it shoot straight down my throat.

I slowly pull myself back, sucking my cheeks in to give him one last feel of pleasure, before looking up at him, as we both pant, breathless. 

He cups my chin, using his thumb to wipe the corners of my mouth, slipping it into my mouth for me to suck. I look up at him, watching him watch my mouth as I slowly and seductively suck on it, pulling away.

"You manage to surprise me every day." He smirks at me. 

"I'm full of surprises, DeLaney."

He stifles a laugh, rolling his eyes at my use of his last name. 

"You didn't cum in me, why? You already used the contraceptive charm."

"That's not why." He pulls up his pants, buckling his belt, before pulling my panties back up for me, and falling on the booth seat next to me, laying down in exhaustion.

Okay...

"You're dangerous, Karkaroff." He mumbles drowsily.

"Mhmm," I hum, too busy focusing on the lights above me. They transfigure into different shapes and colours, appearing holographic in my eye. He shifts in the booth seat, turning around slightly.

What the fuck?

He has the same mark as me—the deathly hallows, on the back of his neck. 

I reach my hand out to touch it, before quickly retracting it. This is just day one, I have plenty of time to fuck with his head. Then he'll tell me everything, willingly.

I thought that after this, I would feel a sense of relief from all the built-up tension. But now I just feel more desperate. Why do I feel this way? How can he, of all people, make me, Asya Karkaroff, feel this pathetically desperate?

I stare back up at the lights in silence for a good ten minutes. The more I focus on them, the more I see human like characteristics. 

Eyes. 

A smile. 

A face.

Draco.

_"You're mine, Karkaroff."_

"I'm yours." I find myself mumbling words I normally would never say if I were sober. Words that may or may not be my true feelings...

_"Only mine, no one else's."_

"Only... yours..."

"What?" I hear DeLaney's drowsy voice from beside me, but I'm too focused on Draco's sparkly face. That fucking face. I could just—

He smiles down at me. A smile that reaches his beautiful grey eyes. A sweet, sweet smile. _"Karkaroff, I want you."_

"I...want you..."

Who's playing the drums?

"Karkaroff!" I hear banging at the door. "Karkaroff, open the door!" The banging gets louder and louder, as I watch the image of the beautiful boy in front of me, fade away. A figment of my imagination. Just my imagination.

"Open sesame." I mumble, feeling my body go numb, while my toes feel tinkly.

The door barges open and the last thing I hear is his voice "what the fuck did you do to her!?" Before everything goes black. Everything, except for the image that I can't seem to get out of my mind. 

Draco. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

_"Six minutes and thirty-eight seconds." He releases me from the spell, allowing me to catch my breath. "Good. But not good enough."_

_He walks up to me, crouching down to me as I lay on the stone-cold concrete, brushing hair out of my face, and cupping my cheek, while stroking the stray tear away with his thumb. "Give up, already, **precious**? All of this will be worth it in the end. I promise you. As long as you listen to me and only me. Do not trust anyone but me. Don't let your guard down. I will make you strong... You will reign."_

_"I will reign."_

I hear a clanging sound, and my eyes flutter open to blinding sunlight peeking through the corner of the blinds.

The scent of sandalwood, mint—him, drowning my senses.

My eyes trail down my figure, snuggled in Draco's blanket, as I'm drowning in an oversized, green quidditch jersey. 

Did I sleep with him?

Did I sign the contract?

Fuck fuck fuck.

I shift my head in the pillow slightly, looking over to see Draco facing away from me, aggressively throwing knives at a dart board, before he throws the last one, right in the bullseye. He snaps his head to look at me with eyes that tell me I'm absolutely fucked.

"What am I doing here?" I croak out.

He stifles a laugh, walking slowly towards me, crouching down to eye level. "What do you _think_ you're doing here?" He brushes my hair away from my face, stroking it.

What's going on...?

"Did we...?"

"Tsk, if we did, I'd make sure you remembered every. Fucking. Detail." He pulls his hand away, lifting a glass of orange juice from his desk, passing it to me. "Drink." He orders me. 

I pull myself into a sitting position on the bed, before a sharp pain hits my temples, causing me to press my hand against them. He grows inpatient and pulls my hair away from my face, bringing the glass to my lips. I comply, drinking from it. 

"I've put some vitamins and other things in it, your head should be fine soon." He moves the glass from my mouth, using his thumb to wipe the excess, instinctively bringing it to his mouth, sucking on it, before placing the glass back on the desk.

He walks towards the dart board, taking out all the knives. "Do you remember what happened last night?" He turns his head over his shoulder to look at me.

"Uhhh... I drank."

"Yes Karkaroff, you did." He quickly throws one knife at the dart board. "What else?"

I had my flask, I was sitting in a booth, Zane DeLaney...

Zane fucking DeLaney.

"I... took something."

"You took something." He repeats, humming. "What did you take, Karkaroff?"

"Um—a pill..."

"A pill." He throws another knife at the dart board. "And what did that pill make you feel?" He turns his head to look at me again, tilting it to the side, just enough to extenuate the sharpness of his jaw, as I see his masseters clenching.

"Relaxed... Happy?"

"Happy." He scoffs, flinging another knife at the board. "How did you express that happiness?"

Dancing. Kissing. Lounge room. 

_"Then fucking come for me, pretty girl."_

I gather my thoughts, responding confidently, with no shame. "I fucked Zane DeLaney."

He turns to face me as he strokes the blade of the last knife, before he aggressively throws the knife in the centre, maintaining eye contact with me. He turns his full figure towards me, closing his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath in, while cracking his neck to the side. My eyes scan over his very tense, figure, noticing his knuckles cracked with blood and bruises.

I glance at the clock on his wall. 

**7:45 AM**

Shit, my potion. I missed my dosage, I'm so screwed. 

Why am I not hyperventilating or freezing up or something? Why am I so calm? Missing my dosage isn't even affecting me... 

Maybe I took it last night and just don't remember. Either way, if that's the case I need to drink it _soon_.

"Where are my clothes?" I try to keep a calm tone in hopes that he won't snap at me. My head is already killing me, last thing I need is for him to kill me too.

"In the garbage, with your throw up on them." He takes another deep breath in, exhaling slowly. "Did he force it to you?" He asks with a low, cautious voice, keeping his eyes closed.

"Force what?"

"The pill..." He says slowly, his voice wavering like he's about to go off.

I take a moment before responding. "I took it with my own free will." 

His eyes snap open, fire burning within them, melting away the soft glacial specks of silver, turning his eyes into a stormy, ash grey. He rubs his jaw aggressively, turning away from me. I can hear his breathing get heavy, like he's about to hyperventilate.

"Get. Out." His voice cracks, and his breathing gets even heavier. 

I shift myself, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Are you oka—" 

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I've never heard him yell this loud at me before.

He turns around, looking at be incredulously as I don't move. He storms up to me and grabs my arm, tightly, pulling me up. He doesn't even make eye contact with me, as he opens his door, pushing me out forcefully, causing me to fall on the ground, slamming the door shut.

What the fuck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... We got some DeLaney dick. Oh, and toxic Draco premium is coming to town.
> 
> What are Zane's intentions?
> 
> Will Asya sign that contract?
> 
> Comment your theories/discussions/suggestions.
> 
> Also, this story is going to get dark after a certain point (not soon but in the future). Like realllll DARK. Do y'all want me to split this story into two separate fanfics (like a sequel) or just keep it all in one? I'm indecisive.


	34. CHAINS

****

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Miss Billie Eyelash and my wife Rosalía for putting me in my feels while writing this chapter. [billie eilish &; rosalía - lo vas a olvidar (slowed &; reverb)]**

**Enjoy, my loves.**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Three days...

Three day's since I got thrown out of a room like a sack of potatoes. 

Three days since I've seen his face. 

And unfortunately, I think I... miss it?

No, I don't. I don't miss it. 

Okay, _maybe_ I miss the fights.

But that's why, when I see him, he's getting a fat punch in his pretty, proportionate, face. 

I haven't seen Draco anywhere. I barged into his room several times, he wasn't there. He hasn't even been to class. I don't care, he can fail, that's on him. But when you don't show up to the Room of Requirement to help finish a task that was assigned to the _both_ of us. That's when all hell breaks loose. 

Bastard gave me a bruise on my knee from that fall. On top of that, I've been procrastinating my assignments because I'm spending sixteen hours a day working my way through every single spell book I can get my hands on, trying to figure out how to fix this fucking cabinet. 

Zane on the other hand... I think I can call him Zane now... in my head. Afterall, I've seen and felt all of him.

Including that mark. I know what it is, but what does it mean? Why is it on me? No one can see mine, except for Elijah. I saw Zane's. Is it possible that Zane can see mine? But then why didn't he say anything? Probably the same reason why I'm not saying anything. He doesn't want to drive me away. He wants something. He has a motive. 

"Who can tell me the difference between sleeping draught and dreamless sleep potion?" Slughorn questions us, rubbing his chin.

 _That's_ the question?

I shoot my hand up, but apparently Granger and I share the same instinct. We both look at each other from across the room, competitively. The thing is, everyone in the class knows, when a question is asked, they don't raise their hand, they let _me_ answer it. Everyone except for fucking Granger. 

Slughorn looks overwhelmed, staring between her and I. 

Pick _me_ idiot.

"Why don't we try someone new?" He glances around the room. "Mr. Zabini?"

I snap my head to the back, watching Blaise resting his head on his hand with a pair of black sunglasses on. 

"Mr. Zabini?" Slughorn repeats, but he doesn't answer. He doesn't even move.

I hear a couple people snort in the back,

Slughorn walks closer to Blaise's desk, observing him closely, leaning down to look through his sunglasses.

Is he sleeping?

He nudges his shoulder but he doesn't budge. 

He's definitely sleeping. 

_Or_ he's dead.

He nudges him again, clearing his throat. Why isn't he moving?

Theo gets up from his seat, moving closer to Blaise. "Allow me professor." He smirks down at Blaise mischievously, rubbing his hands together. 

"Payback's a bitch," I hear him murmur before he slaps him right across the face, hard enough to make his sunglasses fall, and nearly him too. 

Slughorn doesn't even say anything, his mouth is agape as he looks at Blaise, as does everyone else. 

Blaise's eyes quickly recover from drowsiness to a fiery anger, as he squints them, turning his head _very_ slowly, to see Theo's bright, proud smile.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Theo smiles innocently at him.

Blaise twitches his eye, and just nods, as if to warn Theo of what's to come after class.

"Mr. Nott, I do not condone this behaviour." Slughorn points his finger at him, but secretly fist bumps him with his other hand, clearing his throat and returning to the front of the class. "I'll let Mr. Zabini... _recover_." He glances at me, "Miss. Karkaroff, you had your hand up."

I side eye Granger, shoving my victory in her face, watching her clench her fingers around her quill, to the point where it might almost snap. "Sleeping draught instantly puts you to a deep death-like sleep, but it is temporary. Dreamless sleep potion induces you into a drowsy state, encouraging a dreamless sleep amongst the user."

"Professor." Granger instantly shoots her hand up. I might just rip it off at this point.

Slughorn sighs, "yes, Miss. Granger?"

She glances at me, "another difference that Asya _fails_ to identify is that sleeping draught is a _darker_ purple compared to dreamless sleep." 

"Congrats, now we know you've passed your eye exam." I murmur.

"Yes... very good observation Miss. Granger." Slughorn flips through his textbook, looking for something else to question us on.

After a line of never-ending _observations_ from _Miss. Granger_ for the remainder of the class, we're dismissed, and well... Theo ended up sprinting his way out of class before Blaise could jump him. 

"Come hang out with Lunes and I. We're bringing out the Ouji tonight." Willow tells me, as we walk through the corridors. 

"I have some things to do." I decline her invite. Unlike her, I have _real_ business to tend to.

She glances at me from the corner of her eye, scrunching up her nose, smirking. "Things to do, or _people_ to do?

I look back at her, "school things, like studying, you know because we're students..." I'd rather be studying. But I'm going to be running some errands today. I did a little research, and found a Sear in Knockturn alley. She specializes in the Dark Arts, and is well-known for her potions, specifically used by women who wanted to kill their abusive husbands, without leaving a trace.

She suffers from short term memory loss, and is blind, so I have no problems with keeping myself anonymous. 

I need to ask her a few questions about the necklace I bought at Borgin and Burkes, about the mark on my neck, about anything else that I may not be aware of. Because if there's anything I've learned, it's that no one has been telling me the truth. Everyone is hiding something from me. Including Snape.

"That's a funny joke, really. Because I know damn well you don't have that much school work, you always finish beforehand."

"This _is_ me finishing beforehand."

We walk in silence for a minute before she speaks again, "Malfoy or DeLaney? Which one?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know you're gonna see one of them. I see the way you and the blondie look at each other. But that kiss at the club with DeLaney..." She wiggles her brows, nudging my shoulder.

"That's nothing. Just a meaningless hookup." And it was; the both of them were. 

"Baby, that's what I said. Now I'm dating that _meaningless hookup_ " She air quotes. 

"I'm not going to be dat—"

"Who's bigger?" She cuts me off, looking at me expectedly. "Apparently, Malfoy men are supposed to be well endowed..."

They are, well, at least Draco is. Eleven inches well endowed.

Great, now I'm thinking about his dick.

"Willow, shut up." I enunciate each word, hoping she'll understand that I _really_ don't want to continue this conversation. 

"It's okay, no need to cover up for them. I understand if the both of them don't even add up to the size of my strap-on."

"Willow" I glare at her, warning her to shut up before I make her shut up.

She grins mischievously, as if she already has something else to say about their dicks before her eyes trail off and widen in shock. "Holy shit!" She whisper-yells, dragging me down the corridor, and pulling me to a corner.

"What?" She shushes me with her finger, and points across the hall to an image that I can tell will come of great use to me.

Well.. well... well... look at our chosen one...

Harry Potter.

On his knees.

Not in front of Weaslette.

But for her ex, Dean Thomas.

"Hold this under my eye." I whisper to her, conjuring a small vial, and lifting it up between the both of us.

"What?" She whispers back, staring at me like I'm insane.

"Hold it, come on." I whisper again, trying to get her to rush before someone notices.

She squints her eyes at me, before grinning in realization, "you evil bitch." 

I smile back innocently, shifting my hand towards her so she can take the vial. I pull down the delicate skin under my eye with one hand, "ready?" I ask her.

She nods, placing the small glass vial just under my eye. I poke my finger gently a couple times in my right eye, just enough to fill my eye with water, sufficient to produce one single tear drop. It falls out of my eye, slowly dragging down the side of my cheek, perfectly falling into the vial.

I wipe away any dampness from my undereye, before pulling my hand away, watching willow put the cap on the vial, passing it to me.

Now I've got you in the palm of my hands, Potter.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I've just arrived to Knockturn Alley, and after walking back and forth trying to find the shop, I notice a tiny old man, sitting in a fold up chair, like he's watching and waiting. Each time I've walked past him, his eyes lingered on me. Maybe he knows where it is...

"Excuse me sir, I need some help finding a small shop around here, _The Coven_?"

He just looks up at me, giving me a blank stare. Does he even understand what I'm saying? Maybe he's deaf.

I take out a piece of paper and write out the shop name, showing it to him. He doesn't even glance at it, continuing to look at me, before lifting his cane from off the ground, tapping on the ground three times. Suddenly, I feel myself spinning; everything in my surroundings blurring, before I'm sucked into darkness.

All I see, is darkness.

I hear breathing. Very _very_ heavy breathing. Like someone's taking a step close and closer to me, as the sound of a cane gets louder on the creaking floor boards. 

"Incendio." I hear a croaky voice whisper before an amber light arises, and I realize I'm almost nose to nose with the person. Their eyes are completely white, their face is wrinkled, and their scars aren't unnoticeable. They extend on each end of their lips, like a dagger was dragged across their mouth, slitting it open. 

"Why you are here?" They say very slowly, with a thick accent. Their breathing is so heavy, I can smell the tobacco and cooling sensation of spearmint hitting my face.

"I'm looking for a shop, _The Coven_."

She snaps her fingers and instantly, a row of torches lights up, surrounding us, revealing a small shop. I'm able to see more clearly now, and notice that the person in front of me is an old woman. She holds a wooden cane and is wearing a dark blue, floral skirt that comes down to her feet, paired with a thick, knit, beige sweater, and a dark green, floral head scarf, tied on her head, showing a whisp of dark grey hairs covering her forehead. I move my head slightly to see if her eyes follow me. 

They don't.

It's her.

"Nona Tofana?"

She sticks her hand out, and uses her powers to drag an old wooden chair out, "sit." I comply and take a seat, watching her wobble slowly to sit in front of me, with a small wooden table parting us. "What you want?" Her tone is snappy for a woman of her age. She looks well over a hundred.

"I have a few questions that I think you might be able to help me find the answers to." I take out the deathly hallow necklace from my jacket pocket. I thought I'd be able to see a vision from it again when I bought it. I haven't ever since. "I have a necklace." She reaches her shaky hand from across the table, and I place it in her palm. Before it completely falls into her hand she already speaks up, "the deathly hallows."

She pulls her hand away, feeling it between her fingers while looking straight ahead, not even blinking. 

She immediately grabs my hand pulling me closer "this is for you." She slaps down the necklace in the palm of my hand, closing my fingers over it. "No one can touch, only you." She pushes my hand away. 

"I bought it at a shop, everyone has touched—"

"No." She cuts me off. "It seeks you." She shakes her head abruptly. "He says it's a gift to you."

"Who says?"

She shakes her head again, tapping her finger repeatedly on her mouth in a shushing motion. "Put it on neck. Wear it. It talks to you when it wants to talk to you." What wants to talk to me? 

She uses her cane to balance herself as she gets up from her seat slowly, and carefully, inching towards me. Next thing I know, she's tugging all of my hair aggressively, making me move in my seat. I feel her cold, rough hand press against the back of my neck, before I feel a burning feeling, causing me to flinch from pain.

"You have mark." She can't even see, how does she know?

"I wanted to ask you about that as well. No one can see my mark, only some. But recently I saw someone else with it. What does having this mark mean?"

She grabs the necklace from my hand, pulling it over my head, letting it fall around my neck. "Only the chosen ones have and can see this mark." Oh, for fucks sake, don't tell me I'm Potter 2.0. "Chosen ones are followers, but he disappeared and followers don't exist anymore." Well, I exist so clearly somethings up. "I not know why you have this mark."

I don't either, that's why I'm asking you.

"Who is _he_?"

She removes her hand from the mark, putting my hair down to go sit back in her seat, grabbing my hands forcefully, holding them on the crystal ball. It fogs up before images start to show. I see two young men in what appear to look like the Room of Requirement in Hogwarts, standing in front of a mirror. One man turns around and I notice a familiarity. 

He's the man in the photograph Elijah gave me.

Light blonde hair, blue eyes, clean youthful face.

The young man takes out his wand, and slits the inside of both their palms, interlacing them while mumbling something.

Two glowing drops of blood come up from their palms, uniting as one, forming into a vial.

They're making a blood pact.

In a flash, the image disappears, and I see someone pulling their head away from a glowing penseive. 

Dumbledore.

He told me he knew nothing of the man in the photo. I knew he was lying to me.

Suddenly his image transfigures into someone else. White, greasy hair reaching his shoulders. Blue eyes. The more I focus, I more I realize that he's the same man that I saw in my vision when I picked up the necklace at Borgin and Burkes. But he's aged. His figure looks weak, frail, held back by shackles in what looks like a prison.

Before I can watch any more, she pulls the crystal ball away from me, and the images disappear. "Somebody's coming" Is all she says.

"Who's coming?"

She gets up, pulling me from my seat "Get ou—" She gasps for air and in an instant her eyes go black, while the torches start to flicker, as if someone's blowing them out. "You," she grips onto my Dark Mark, tightly, making me squirm in pain. "You are darkness. Five months...to summon the spirit and start your faith. Love. Death. Hatred. Despair. Hungry for power...revenge, seeking for moooooooore!" Her black eyes fade out and her deep, raspy voice wheezes—choking, before I find myself being pulled back into a black vortex, onto the streets of Knockturn Alley.

What the hell just happened? 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's three in the morning and I just finished working on the cabinet. Well, finished for today at least. I quietly walk through the corridors hoping I don't get caught by Flitch or his murderous cat. Then again, if I do, I can always compel him to forget. 

And just to my convenience, I see Zane sitting on the edge of the balcony, smoking a joint, just waiting to get caught.

I creep up behind him, slowly and carefully. I could easily push him off right now. No one would suspect a thing. Zane DeLaney, dead due to excessive drug use. Got dizzy, and fell off the balcony. I could make it look like a suicide. Drug addict, no parents, sad life, couldn't handle it anymore and said goodbye world.

Not yet... Not until I find out everything. Starting from that mark.

Nona Tofana made no sense today. But if there's one thing I know, it's that I have to go back. I have to. Dumbledore is the answer. He knows everything, but refuses to spill. I wish I could just easily slip some Veritaserum into his tea. Unfortunately, with him, that's not a possibility. 

"I can smell you." He takes a hit from his joint, blowing out an O-ring. "Vanilla, jasmine, orange blossom—Asya Karkaroff."

Fuck.

"Memorized by scent already?" I say, teasingly.

"It's not something one could forget." He looks over his shoulder, and I watch his eyes trail down my figure. "You're still in your uniform? At this time?"

I narrow my eyes at the joint between his fingers. "You're smoking? At this time?"

He smiles, letting out a deep sigh, while shaking his head. "I forgot, you have a tendency to yoyo questions back."

"My specialty." I grin. "You know, you should probably leave before Flitch catches you."

He adjusts his seating, so he's facing me. "Flitch won't catch me."

I fold my arms over my chest, observing his _very_ certain facial expression. "You seem awfully sure about that."

"Oh I am." He hides a smile. "He's taking a little nap in the broom cupboard. He'll be up in about... " He checks his watch on his wrist. "Three hours give or take."

"Don't tell me you drugged Flitch too?" I scoff, with a soft laugh.

"Something like that..." He takes another drag, this time, keeping it in his lungs, letting the smoke disappear. "You just going to stand there?"

"No actually, I'm heading back to my dorm. Good night, DeLaney." I turn around, beginning to walk away knowing that at any second he's going to stop me. 

"Zane." I hear his voice, stopping in my tracks as I look at him over my shoulder, "I don't want you to call me DeLaney. It's Zane." 

I give him a soft smile, nodding my head. "Zane." His name rolls off my tongue easily, making him smile a bit, before he clears his throat, wiping it away. 

"Sit with me." Just as I planned... "I'm scared of heights, I'll cry if I'm alone." He falsely pouts, scooching over to the side to make room for me on the balcony.

I roll my eyes, walking towards him. He reaches his hand out for me to hold, to help me get on the balcony. I look at his hand for a brief moment before complying, letting his strong hand grip mine, as I take a seat next to him. 

"So..." He taps on the stone wall with his fingers and I can sense a question lingering in the air. "What are you doing in the corridors at this time?"

I side eye him, watching him stare out at the sky. "School work."

He stifles a laugh before moving his joint towards me to take. I can't really sleep anyways, might as well. I reach out to take it but he pulls it away, placing his hand on my cheek, and gently dragging my bottom lip down. He looks at my mouth, moving the joint to my lips. I part my lips, allowing the smoke to flow through my lungs, feeling him gently stroke the corner of my lip, as I let the smoke dissipate in my body.

"You don't have to hide it from me, I already know everything." He moves the joint away from my mouth, looking at me with a serious demeanor. 

I knew he was suspicious.

"Hide what?" I maintain eye contact, hoping that my calm, confident state will be enough to convince him that I'm not hiding anything.

His gaze flicker from one eye to the other, searching for a glint of hesitation in my eyes. "You're a death eater."

Don't budge Asya.

"And you clearly have a task. That's why you walk around looking like a zombie."

This sly bitch knows more about me than I know about him.

I don't say anything, he might be using reverse psychology on me. Trying to get me to fess up, making me think he already knows everything, when he doesn't. 

He takes my silence as an invitation to continue, and does so with a care free tone. "I see the way you wince out in pain every time your left arm bumps into something, or you instinctively go to scratch it."

I shrug off his rather accurate hypothesis, keeping calm. "I have eczema." I say seriously. 

"Eczema?" He bites the inside of his cheek, as if to hold back a laugh, as he nods his head, turning to face forward again. "Eczema." He repeats, thoughtfully. "Then I'm guessing the makeup that rubbed off on my shirt the night at the club, was from covering your _eczema_ on your arm?"

Stupid stupid stupid. 

"No, it was from my face. Because that's what people do, put makeup on their face." Unless they're trying to hide something, like I dark mark on their arm.

He tilts his head to the side, trailing his gaze up and down my face. "You don't wear face makeup."

"Yes, I do." He's right, I don't wear face makeup. At least not that night. I hate the way it feels on my face and I get too lazy to take it off.

"No," he smirks. "You don't." He reaches out, cupping my cheek gently, before stroking his thumb against my skin. "If you did, the small freckles on your nose and cheeks wouldn't show up with the natural blush that creeps on them every time you get annoyed, or angry." He pulls away, showing me his thumb "see, nothing."

What's he doing at Hogwarts? He should be on the set of Criminal Minds.

"You're forgetting my parents were death eaters. Deny it all you want, I already know everything." He takes another drag, before burning it out on the stone wall. 

"Aren't _you_ a death eater?" I ignore his comment, switching the conversation onto him. "Afterall, your parents were."

Suddenly I notice his usually relaxed body, tense up, as he clenches his jaw, avoiding my gaze. "I'm not my parents."

"Right, you're Zane DeLaney." I try to change the subject, noticing his uncomfortable demeanor. I'll get back to this in time, once I've gained his _full_ trust.

His body relaxes a little bit, glancing at me with a sly look. "And you're Asya Karkaroff, a death eater."

"No, I'm not." I respond in a sing-song voice.

"You're so stubborn." He scoffs, and turns his head slightly, so the moonlight hits his cheekbone, just enough that I notice a faded bruise under his eye. "What happened?" I lean in and touch it slightly. 

I know exactly what happened. Fucking psycho.

"It's nothing." He brushes it off, trying to act tough.

"It doesn't look like nothing." I cup his chin, turning him to face me, so I can heal it. 

As I brush my fingertips against it, I feel him watching every detail of me. I wish I could use legilimency on him at this moment. Then again, I wouldn't need it to know that he's definitely wanting to kiss me right now. "Wandless magic, hypnosis, legilimancy, and a perfect academic record. What are you, Merlin's heir?" He teases me.

"Obviously." I shift my gaze to his eyes, already watching me, carefully. "And Dumbledore is secretly my father."

He nods his head, "that explains so much." We both look at each other, smiling. 

"Why'd he do it?" I drop my hand from his cheek, watching him furrow his brows, preparing himself to act like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "I know it was your _mate_ , Malfoy."

"I don't know," he shrugs, "you tell me." I give him a confused look, wanting for him to elaborate. I would think jealousy, but there's nothing to be jealous about when he was literally fucking that Violetta girl in a different room. 

"I don't know." I shrug back.

"Is there something between you two?" He doesn't even hesitate, speaking very bluntly with me. This is exactly why I _know_ he's after something. Although... that's an excellent question, that I wish I had an answer to.

"No." I give him a flat response.

"Mhmmm," he bites the inside of his cheek, holding back a laugh.

"What?" I scowl at him.

"Nothing." He purses his lips, shaking his head. "It's just... the mark between your legs says otherwise."

"Aaand this is when I leave." I shift in my spot, preparing to leave but he takes a hold of my arm. "Fine, I won't bring it up." I stay silent, settling comfortably again. "Besides, it might be covered with _my_ mark soon." His eyes spark with mischief. 

What am I, a sketch book?

The only person who I've made an exception to is Voldy and Draco.

I try my best to match his mischievous remark, shifting closer towards him. "Really?" I reply with a teasing tone, wetting my bottom lip ever so slightly.

His eyes dart at my lips. "Really." He nods. We both just sit in silence, swinging our feet off the balcony. "Do you like him?" He blurts out.

I didn't know I was speaking to fucking cupid.

"Who?" I try to sound calm and collected. I know exactly who he's talking about.

"Malfo—"

"No." I cut him off. "I don't like him, and I never will like him. He's an obnoxious dick head who only cares about himself. He's the devil, and I don't make deals with the devil." 

He fans me with his hand, "You're _very_ passionate about him."

"I'm not passionate. I just have a strong dislike for him." I give him a sarcastic smile. 

"Mhmm," He puts his hand on the stone frame of the balcony, just above my head. "Even the strongest dislikes turn into lust... or love."

Lust, yes. 

Love, _never_.

"That's not going to happen. If I hate someone, I hate them. That won't change." I can hear the gears shifting in his head.

"Do you hate _me_?" He says slowly, and cautiously, almost like he's hesitant about the answer he'll receive.

Yes, I do hate you.

Actually, maybe not hate.

I don't know I just _really_ dislike him.

My hatred is only reserved for Draco.

"No." I respond.

I can feel his tense body ease up a bit, turning slightly to face me. "Then I guess things do change."

"I never hated you to begin with. You're just annoying." I respond with ease, looking up at him.

"Annoying?" He looks amused.

"Yes, annoying."

"So are you."

"Thank you."

"No, thank _you_..." He looks like he has something at the tip of his tongue that he wants to get out. "For not getting out of my head." _Bingo_. I turn to look at him, but he looks forward, clenching his jaw. "I don't know what it is, but you did it. You've managed to grab by attention."

"I told you, it's the hair." I nudge his shoulder. 

He stifles his laugh, "It's the hair, the eyes, the lips, everything."

"So only my looks." I say in a joking tone, but it's very much not a joke. I want to be looked at for more than just my looks. I am a person. I want to be recognized for my heart, my brains, my personality, not what's between my legs. 

"You're more than looks. You're confident, and smart—too smart." He shakes his head smiling, before turning to face me. "You're strong, and take care of everyone, even if it's just keeping them company..." He reaches his hand out and cups my cheek, "And I don't know why, but I want to do that for you." He moves closer, keeping his hand on my cheek. "I want to take care of you, in whatever way you'll let me. A friend, an acquaintance. Whatever you want. Whatever you _need_." 

If only everything he's saying was real. Just like how I'm getting closer to him to get what I want, he's getting closer to me to get what he wants. Or rather, he's _trying_ to get close to me. He's saying all the right things, but to the wrong person. I'm not one to fall for it. 

"I don't need a babysitter, DeLaney." 

His gaze drops, "there it is again, _DeLaney_."

I roll my eyes, "Zane." I correct myself.

He shifts his thumb near my mouth, gently sweeping it across my bottom lip. He stares at my lips. "Roll your eyes again and I might have to kiss you right here."

I inch forward, gently tugging on my lip, watching his Adams apple bob. "Yeah?"

He moves closer "yeah." He responds with his deep voice, breathily.

I'm so focused on his mouth that I don't realize how close we actually are to each other. One sudden move is all it takes for our lips to collide. One movement and I can change things for the both of us. Maybe I'll get Draco out of my fucking head. Maybe I'll get Zane to fall for me, that is, if he hasn't already. Maybe he'll finally tell me everything. One move, and he's mine. 

Our top lips barely touch, as I relax my lips, preparing for our lips to touch. "Goodnight, pretty girl" he whispers slightly against my lips, before pulling away and getting off the balcony, leaving me, without a single kiss, or a single clue of what he's up to.

I hate myself.

Because this whole time all I could think about was wanting Draco to be the one saying these things to me. But he never will. He only wants sex, possession, control. Nothing more. And I hate myself even more because there might be a small possibility that I _do_ want more. 

But that possibility is small enough to crush. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

A couple more days spent alone, and I actually ate dinner for once in a very long time. I don't even have enough time to use the loo, let alone eat. At this point, I don't even care about food. I only eat when I'm at the verge of starvation. And when I do eat, I _eat_.

Don't they have pills for these things? They have practically everything in the wizarding world except the things you _actually_ need.

I just need to get this task over with so everything can go back to the way it was. The last thing I need is a relapse.

I bring some apple cinnamon tea with me, walking towards the common room, before my breath stops at the sight in front of me.

Draco. 

Paler than ever. Stubble on his face, contouring his jaw. His under eyes are sunken in at this point, unveiling fifty shades of purple. He looks like he came back from the dead. 

Why is _he_ tired? He's the one who left, vacationing in his Manor for a week. 

Asya you fucking idiot, his father is in Azkaban, not everyone has daddy issues like you.

I should punch him.

No, I should use a body binding curse and drown him in the Black Lake. 

Our eyes meet, and he shows no reaction. None. Not even a smirk. His eyes just trail up and down my body _very_ slowly, not even caring if I notice. 

The longer I stare, the more conflicted I am. Do I want to throw a punch right now, or do I want to kiss him and _then_ punch him?

I can't even do anything. No matter how bad I want to hurt him right now, I can't even move. Am I even breathing? He's locked me under his gaze, and refuses to let me go. 

"Draco, _darling_." I hear a voice that I haven't heard since before Winter break. 

"Parkinson." Draco greets her, still keeping his eyes glued to mine, as I do the same, refusing to break. From my peripheral vision, I see her leaning into his ear to whisper something, before linking arms with him.

Suddenly, he's the first to break, when he turns around and walks away towards the dormitories, arm in arm with Pansy. 

And me? Well, I'm just standing here like a pathetic loser, unable to do anything, because I refuse to admit to myself that under all this anger, I might actually be feeling... _jealous?_ And that maybe, _just_ maybe, I have a soft spot for him. 

So soft, that I don't even realize I've crushed my tea cup in my hand, and its heat is leaking down my hand, drizzling down my forearm. 

I don't even feel the pain, too busy feeling the pain of what just happened. 

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's the next day and I start my morning off by going to the room of requirement, earlier than usual, walking in to see the cabinet I see everyday. I want to break it. 

I open my spell book to where I last bookmarked it. Might as well be productive, while he's probably silked up with Pansy in his bed. I wouldn't care if it was Violetta, or Melanie, or literally anyone else. But Pansy? He has a past with her. Theo was telling me one night while he was high. She's in love with him. I see it in her eyes. 

He doesn't love her. I know he doesn't. He's not _capable_ of love. 

But he knows she loves him, and that's why he won't let go. He can't. She'll do anything for him no matter how much he hurts her and he knows this, using it to his advantage. Because that's what love does. It makes you selfish, yet selfless; ready to give yourself up.

If I had someone who loved me like that, I know I wouldn't let go, manipulating them to meet my every desire. So why should he?

I don't know why I couldn't do anything last night. I wanted to hurt him. _Punish_ him for leaving without a word. Was it really because he left though?

No.

I wanted to punish him for throwing me out of his room. For bringing Violetta to the club. For leaving with Pansy last night, without even saying anything to me. 

I _want_ to punish him for making me feel this disgusting feeling.

All this time he's been trying to get me out of his system, but now _he's_ in _my_ system. And I'm not sure _rehabilitation_ will be sufficient enough to get him out of it.

All of a sudden, I hear ruffling noises from behind the cabinet.

There better not be a rat otherwise I'm out of here until Flitch's cat deals with it.

The sound grows louder; more aggressive. I take my wand out, pointing it to the direction of the sound; behind the cabinet.

 _"Petrificus Totalus"_ I cast a body-binding curse in hopes that whatever's back there is now frozen. This would be a perfect time for something to pop up and jump in my face. 

I slowly creep closer to the cabinet, peaking behind it to see ice grey eyes looking up at the sight of me. 

Draco sits with a few spell books and his wand, glaring at me with narrowed eyes. "You missed." He points at the spider in the corner of the floor, frozen in its spot.

I tilt my head, staring at it for a moment. I _never_ miss.

Wait.

What is _he_ doing _here_ at this time of the day?

Without even thinking, I take a spell book and start hitting him with it "you—dick—you—left—without—saying—anything."

He doesn't move, or flinch, or even show any reaction of pain. He just watches me take my anger out on him. "One—week—I—worked—on—this—myself."

He finally grabs both my arms, forcefully, letting the book in my hand drop on the floor. We both stare at each other furiously, and I catch him taking a quick glance at my right hand; the one I burned, softening his grip on it. 

"Sixteen hours," I pull myself away from him, maintaining a _safe_ distance. Because right now, I'll either beat him with a book again, or rip his clothes off and fuck my rage out of him.

"Every single day, I spent sixteen hours on this cabinet, while you were gone." He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off, raising my finger at him. 

"I found out your father went to Azkaban by fucking Snape." His eyes go dark, and he breaks his gaze away from my eyes. "And I understand you were adjusting to that. However, you could've informed me; we would've been able to arrange certain times to work on the cabinet. But _noooo_ , you think you're so superior than everyone else, prioritizing your _own_ needs and wants, treating me like I'm your slave. Afterall, if you're not here, Karkaroff will have to do it. Oh, and also." 

I take a breath of air before continuing. "Who the hell are _you_ to throw _me_ out of your room, with nothing but your fucking jersey on me, making me have to do the walk of shame without having anything to be ashamed of. If this is about me fucking DeLaney, then you have no right to be angry over that. You don't own me. Especially when you probably fucked Pansy last night and then brought Violetta to the clu—" I immediately get cut off by his lips, as he grips my hair with one hand, and my waist with another, pulling me in closer. 

He silences me. Silences my voice, my thoughts telling me to pull away. He silences a part of me that I've tried so hard to keep intact. The part of me that wants to feel no guilt, no remorse, no _feelings_. And it all makes me feel sick. Like I have these _things_ in my stomach that just _flutter_ around him, at the sight of him, even at the thought of him. It's disgusting.

I don't kiss back... at first. But the minty taste of mouth, the way he makes me feel, right now, and always. The adrenaline makes me feel alive. I give in, kissing him back. With every movement, I feel myself being pulled closer and closer into him. He has me under his control, and as much as I want to try, I can't do anything about it. 

Why can't I do anything?

I lose all sense of stability with him. He's poisonous, but I want more, even if it intoxicates me.

His kiss is passionate, hungry, intense. Like he's been craving me for days, but can't get enough, before he pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against mine, closing his eyes as we're both breathless. 

Move away Asya.

Hit him.

Kill him.

Do something you weak bitch.

I'm melting at his touch. His large hands not only hold my face, but my heart, manipulating it in his hands like it's a toy. 

He opens his eyes, revealing a soft, vulnerable look. "What if I said I _didn't_ fuck her?" He searches my eyes with his tired ones, cupping both my cheeks with his hands. "Would it change things?" 

I feel myself gulp, contemplating whether I should answer or not. " _Did_ you fuck her?" My voice softens, looking into his eyes for any sign of truth. Anything that tells me he didn't.

"Answer my question first." His voice goes quiet, like he's waiting for a specific answer. For me to say yes. Yes, it would change things. It would change everything. 

What would happen then? It's not like my answer matters. He wants to see how much he's affected me. And the truth is, he's affected me a lot. But I won't let him know that. I can't. He feeds off of people's weaknesses. "No." I swallow the lump at the back of my throat, looking at him more sternly. "It wouldn't change anything. Because I don't care." 

His soft gaze, hardens, and any possibility to giving me the answer I want, vanishes. "Good." He releases one hand off my face, while using the other to grip my jaw, lifting my chin to look up at him. "Because I _did_ fuck her." 

He leans in to my face, not taking his eyes off me. "Over." He moves closer. "And over again." He places his soft lips gently on my ear. "Until she was screaming my name... Because unlike you." He trails the tip of his tongue gently along the nape of my neck, making me fall apart in his hands. "She knows who her _cunt_ belongs to." He pulls away, touching brushing his nose against mine, looking down at me hungrily. 

And there it is. 

Objectification.

Being treated like a worthless, used item. Torn up and thrown away only to be re-used again whenever I'm needed.

"Yeah?" I tilt my chin up more, letting my lips barely brush past his, "I _know_ who my cunt belongs to." His eyes watch mouth carefully, waiting for my answer. I creep up towards his ear, now placing my lips against his, "Zane was marking his name on it last night with his tongue." 

I wait for a moment, expecting him to pull me away or do something. 

Nothing. 

I can't even hear him breathe. 

But my eyes drop to his hand, tapping the side of his thigh, impatiently. 

In a split second I'm shoved into a wall, with his knee wedged between my thighs, and his hands wrapped around my throat so tight, I feel a slight crack. His eyes flicker a fire that I crave to see; boring into me, trying to capture me with his gaze so we both burn, until there's nothing left, but the ashes of our truths. 

He presses his forehead against mine, and all that comes out of him, is a calm whisper. "Did he _really_ touch you _again_?" His voice sounds so calm, but his eyes tell another story. I keep my hands by my side. I want him to choke me. I want him angry. He needs to feel what I feel. The anger, the tension, the distress.

" _Over_ — _and_ — _over_ _again_." I choke out his words that sunk into me.

He closes his eyes, tilting his head against my forehead, and he finally exhales through his nose, "how many times." His hands get tighter around my neck; I can feel my throat closing up, the tighter he squeezes.

I don't answer. It's not like I _can_ answer. But even if I could, I wouldn't. 

His eyes flash open, burning through mine, "How. Many. Times." He seethes out, enunciating each word.

I let out a strangled laugh, lifting one hand and nudging my fingers beneath his tightly curled ones, to allow myself to speak. "For—every single day—you were—gone." 

His breathing stops again, and the only thing I hear is him whisper is "accio table," before he releases my throat, and throws me over his shoulder, without letting me catch my breath. 

"Let—go—of—me." I pant out, hitting and kicking as hard as I can, but the lack of blood flow from him choking me, leaves my body feeling numb.

He doesn't listen, whispering another incantation, when I hear the sound of shackles.

He lays me on the table and my instant reaction is to get up, but he takes both my hands, holding them above my head, on the table. "Seven days." He releases one hand, as his single hand is large enough to hold both my wrists. "I was gone." He cuffs both my hands above my head, locking them in place. 

"Seven days." He repeats, and moves down my body, holding my legs down firmly, "and based on what you said," he cuffs my left ankle onto the table. "He touched you, every. single. one of those days." He cuffs my other ankle.

He looks at me from between my legs, now spread wide apart on the table. "Am I understanding that right, Karkaroff?"

I narrow my eyes at him, "perfectly right." I smile mischievously, satisfied with how furious he is. "Now be a good boy and uncuff me from this table." 

He tics his tongue, "what's the rush? I haven't seen you in _seven days._ " He moves his hands up the table, until both his hands are gripping the sides of the table, right beside my head. "Imagine the amount of _tension_ I have built up inside me right now after spending those _seven days_ apart from you." He looks down at me, with an evil grin on his face.

"I thought you said you wouldn't take me on a dirty table." I look up, innocently. 

His eyes spark, travelling down my body. "Dirty girls deserve dirty tables. You don't deserve special treatment. You're just like every other _whore_ I've fucked."

"Really?" I tilt my head, inching closer, as much as I can given my _circumstance_ right now. "That's why you _begged_ to fuck me? That's why you keep coming back to me?"

He stifles a laugh, putting his two fingers beneath his tie, loosening it. "Tension Karkaroff. Our conflicts— _you,_ make me so angry, I have to fuck it out of you, until I no longer feel the rage."

 _I_ need to fuck it out of _you_ until _I_ feel no rage. "You're never not enraged." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Exactly." He makes me flinch as his cold rings come in contact with my thigh. "And in the position you're in right now, I can take all that anger out for as long as it takes. I have access to every inch of your body." He drags two fingers down the inside of my leg, stopping at his mark. "In fact, right now, I want to make you come for every day that he touched you." 

He traces his finger along each and every letter, slowly, "by the end of it, you're going to remember who your cunt _really_ belongs to."

I look at up him seriously, "you can't touch me without my permission."

He's angry. That, I know. But his anger unleashed something within him. Something that I'm not quite sure whether I like or not. "I can't?" He tilts his head from above, looking at me daringly. "But aren't I the devil?" 

_"He's the devil, and I don't make deals with the devil."_

"I was there long enough to hear your pathetic spiel about how much you hate me." He nuzzles his face in my hair, placing his mouth right next to my ear, "But here's where you're wrong." He glides his hand from the center of my chest, slowly lower "I'm not the devil," his hand slides lower, and lower. "I'm much worse.

At this moment, I feel my heart drop to my arse.

I want him to touch me. 

"Should I fuck you into this table, Karkaroff?" He hums against my ear, dragging his finger along the hem of my skirt. "Treat you like the whore you are?"

I want him.

But not like this. Not when he's got me chained down, immobile, without my consent.

"Let. Go." I can barely let out a whisper. 

"Devils play by their own rules, isn't that right?" His fingers trail up my stomach slowly. "How much do you hate me right now? Be honest."

I turn my face to the side, avoiding his gaze, but he grips onto my jaw, turning me to meet his eyes. "Tell me how much you hate me."

"I won't allow this, unchain me right now." I feel my breath getting heavy, but I make sure it's not audible. I won't let myself break. I can't.

" _I_ can do whatever I please, and given the position you're in, you can't do anything about it." I feel his hand near the zipper of my skirt. 

I can't let this happen. Not again. Not ever. 

He can't do this. He wouldn't? 

Right?

"Please." I breathe out, not even realizing what I just said. "Please—don't touch me... Not now." I choke out, trying _so_ hard to keep my voice from sounding weak, while I squeeze my eyes shut. 

He stops his hand at my zipper on the side of my hip, pulling his face away very slowly, so his nose sweeps against mine. "Did you just... beg?" His voice weakens, almost cracking. I can't even look at him right now. All I can think of is getting out of these chains, going to my dorm and hiding under my covers. 

I haven't begged since my father, since Elijah, since _Dolohov_. 

But today, he made me beg, in the worst way possible.

I hear the clashing sound of the shackles, feeling his cologne getting closer to my senses, as he moves above me, and I feel a release from my wrists. Then my ankles. Until I realize that I'm free. But I'm still immobile. I can't move. I can't open my eyes. He has me locked up in _his_ chains, and they're slowly suffocating me, to the point of no return.

I feel his soft breathing fan against my face, and my breath hitches at my throat. "I... I wasn't... I wouldn't—" He struggles to get the words out, before he clears his throat and his tone goes stone cold again. "Remember this moment, Karkaroff. This is the _real_ me. The face of a beast. _Your_ beast." 

He moves away from me, and I hear his footsteps walking towards the door. I wait for a couple seconds until I no longer hear him, opening my eyes. "Try not to hyperventilate" He closes the light. "You know, because your _potion_ will wear off soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always my scheming mind came up with more plot twists for y'all. Lemme tell you, your jaw is going to be broken by the end of this story. Next chapter's going to be the start of one of my many important plot twists.
> 
> Just want to clarify something from last chapter. Draco does not have erectile disfunction. I know some of y'all already know but I just want to make it clear, this man is very much hard. All the time.
> 
> Also, Draco was not going to do anything to Asya at all. Consent is important to him due to reasons that will be evident in future chapters. He just wanted to push Asya to her limits to see if she'd break. She didn't break, but she definitely cracked. 
> 
> Any suggestions/theories?
> 
> Interesting factoid, Nona Tofana's character is inspired by a professional poisoner, Giulia Tofana, who was notorious in 17th century Italy, for selling poison to women who wanted to kill and escape their abusive husbands.


	35. TRUTH

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

It's been three weeks since I've seen Draco. We split times working on the cabinet. Eight hours him, eight hours me. He leaves a note every time so I know he's been working on it, and we've enchanted the room so we know that we've each spent eight hours exactly.

He hasn't even been to class at all since he first left to go home, but he's still somehow top of the class. I know because I always ask for the academic records of the entire class to make sure I'm at the very top. 

I can't even look at him. 

It's embarrassing. It's too embarrassing. I've never felt so pathetic in my life.

I begged. And for _him_.

I don't know if I should be angry or frustrated or feel anything at all.

I told him control was important to me. He chained me up and almost took it away from me. He was waiting for me to beg, and kept pushing and pushing until I did. I felt a pit in my stomach that I hadn't felt in a long time. Anxiousness. Worried that he would touch me. Violate me.

Is it bad that a part of me prefers that? 

I would much rather he _had_ violated me so I could feel so much hatred for him that I won't even hesitate to slit his throat. If he _had_ touched me, that would've been enough for me to completely get him out of my head, and out of this world. Then, everything would be easier.

Now I'm just left with this weight on my chest that's not leaving. I feel like I'm suffocating. I want revenge. But it won't make me feel better. And at this point, I don't know what will. 

The problem is, I never face anything I experience in my life. I just live it, and burry it in the back of my head pretending it never happened. If I actually admit to myself that what has happened to me, actually happened, it's like I'm speaking it to reality. Then I'll completely fall apart. I can't afford to fall apart. I have to be strong because if I'm not, I can't complete the tasks I've been assigned to do, and I can't continue to live this _perfect_ life that I try to play out. 

_"Try not to hyperventilate--you know, because your potion will wear off soon."_

I'm still so confused on how he found out about my potion. His father's files had nothing about my potion in them. So how the hell does he know? And for how long _has_ he known?

This is bad. This is fucking bad. Because if he gets his hands on it, he'll be one step closer to figuring me out. He could switch it out for something else. He could do _anything_ to it.

I checked under my bed; the vial is still there. I even used a spell to check to see if anyone else other than Willow and I went into the dorm within the past couple of weeks. No one has.

Out of all of this, what really stood out to me was that if he knew about the potion this whole time, then he chained me up to a table, and turned the light off knowing that after my potion wears off, it would affect me. He didn't care. He wanted me to fall a part in front of him. 

What if he's known about my potion since I first came to Hogwarts? Maybe that's why he binded me and left me in his dorm room in the dark until I froze from panic. Maybe he wanted to test my limits that day. He wanted to see my weakness. If he's known this whole time, and purposely triggered my traumas I don't know what to say or do... 

Am I surprised? No. 

He hates me, why would he care about what happens to me? He just wants to see how much power he has over me. And he'll do anything to prove it, even if it means triggering my traumas, or chaining me to a table.

And still, after all of this, I can't bring myself to just go to his room and suffocate him in his sleep.

This school, these people, everything and everyone has made me weak. I can't wait to get out of here, for good.

In the meantime, I've been spending a lot of time with Zane, just talking. He's actually not boring, which is refreshing. We've gotten especially close when I healed him. The same day Draco chained me to a table, he went to beat the _life_ out of Zane. 

I feel bad for lying. If I hadn't lied to Draco about Zane touching me again, none of this would've happened. Then again, it's not _my_ fault he can't control his anger--which he has no right of feeling. Calling _me_ a whore. _He's_ the whore. 

I don't know if I've gained Zane's trust yet. Sometimes I'll catch him looking at me like I'm the only living thing in this world. It makes me feel... strange. But it doesn't feel right. 

Not when his brown eyes keep switching to grey and random times. And it's not just with him. It's with everyone. I was talking to Willow the other day, and it's like in a flash, I saw her hair turning blonde. Draco isn't getting out of my head and it's to the point where I feel like I'm going insane. 

All I can think about right now is taking a nice hot shower to drown in my thoughts--

Oh, hell no, "Willow!" I've put up with a lot of things, but _this_ is where I cross the line. "Willow!" 

"Give me a sec," I hear her voice from outside the bathroom, before she walks in "it's seven in the morning, why are you yelling?"

"What the hell is _that_?" I point to the purple dildo suctioned on the sink counter. 

"What does it look like?" She walks over and un suctions it from the counter with a pop sound. "A dildo, duhhh." She swings it around.

"No shit." I scrunch my nose up, looking at it. I don't even want to know if it's used or not. "What is _it_ doing on the sink? The thing we use to wash our hands and face. You know, to clean ourselves..."

She keeps swinging it around, like it's a toy. "I just bought it, it's clean don't worry. I'll be putting it to use tonight, until then, you're all good." 

I did not need to know that...

I close my eyes, rubbing my temples, "Willow, stop swinging that thing around."

"What? I'm just checking it's flexibility." She smirks. "Is it distracting you?" She moves it closer, swinging it in front of my face, before I slap it away with the back of my hand. "It feels real doesn't it?" She wiggles her brows. 

Yes, it does. 

"Get that thing away from me." 

"Yeah yeah, I forgot you enjoy the _real_ thing." She looks at the towels in my hand. "Enjoy your shower..."

I will never get used to all of this. She's lucky I somewhat like her, otherwise I would've tossed her out of the window a long time ago.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

I'm in the library looking through all the books I can to help me not only find a proper spell for the cabinet, but to also to do a little research on blood pacts.

According to this book I'm reading, a blood pact is a magically binding agreement between two people, that's made by sharing blood. They must cut their palms with their wands, and interlace them, making whatever oath they want. Two glowing drops of blood arise, uniting as one, before a vial is formed around it, enclosing the united blood drop, representing that the promise has been made. 

Unlike the Unbreakable vow, if you break the oath, you won't die. In fact, it's not specified what happens if you _do_ break it. I'm not sure if that means you physically cannot allow yourself to break it once the bond is made, or if it just hasn't been broken ever, so no one really knows. 

All I know, is that once the vial is formed, it's impossible to destroy.

Why does this have to be so fucking complicated? With the amount of research I've been doing, I could be a Professor at Hogwarts.

The two men in the crystal ball... who were they? Why were they making a blood pact? What was the vow they made? And what does Dumbledore have to do with all of this? Why can't he just be like every other old man, and sit down reading the Daily Prophit with a mug of camomile tea, sneakily jerking off to porn every now and then? 

Ew, no, my minds in dirty places now. I need to obliviate myself.

Nona Tofana said to wear the necklace. So that's exactly what I'm doing. It's supposed to _speak to me,_ but hasn't. I haven't even seen a vision yet. I went to Knockturn Alley a couple times hoping that I'd see the old man again. He's not there, so I can't access the shop.

I want to rip my hair out. 

And that's exactly what I've been doing. 

It relieves my stress in ways that I can't explain. But I need to stop before I go bald. 

I flip through more pages before I feel a presence behind me. "Hello, pretty girl." I feel a whisper before the book is ripped out of my hand. "What's this?" Zane takes a seat in front of me, putting his feet on the seat across. 

"I'm studying," I grab it out of his hand, smoothing the page that he crinkled. I _hate_ when people crinkle book pages.

"Mhmm, blood pacts? What's that, some weird kink?" He perks up a brow.

"Yep." I reply sarcastically, before continuing to read. A couple seconds later and I feel his eyes burning into me. "Is there a reason why you're here right now?" I don't look up from my book.

"Yes." He doesn't even elaborate. He's like a fucking child.

I place the book face flat on the table, looking at him from across, "okay, what is it?"

"I want to take you somewhere." He puts his arm over the chair next to him.

"I'm busy." I lift the book up at him.

"You're always busy. It physically drains me watching you physically drain yourself." He gets up from his seat, taking the book out of my hand. "Come on, let's go."

"I'm not going anywh--"

"Notice how my voice didn't deflect at the end. It wasn't a question." He mocks me, mimicking my voice, with an amused smile on his face.

I really wouldn't be going anywhere right now. Then again, I need to get close to him, so I might as well. 

"Fine. But it better be worth my while." I place a book mark in the book, putting it in my bag.

"Oh, it will be." He grins, before pulling me by my arm, out of the library, as we walk out of school.

The Black Lake.

He brought me to the Black Lake.

Where his parents drowned.

How romantic.

"It's minus twenty degrees outside, and we're _here_?" I glance at him from the corner of my eye.

He takes his wand out and mumbles an incantation and I feel a growth of warmth rise within me. "There. Now it won't matter if it's minus twenty degrees, or the Ice Age."

We walk down the hill, closer towards the lake. He conjures a picnic table with a basket full of food.

Don't get me wrong, I'm insane. But _this_ , this is another level of insane. We're going to be eating with the wonderful ambience of his parents' decomposed bodies at the bottom of the lake. 

How splendid.

"A picnic?" I look at him questionably.

"Yes," He grabs my arm and sits me down on the bench. "A picnic." He sits in front of me. "But not just any picnic." He opens the picnic basket on the table, taking out all the food. "A DeLaney picnic." He lays everything out.

"What's the difference between a normal picnic and a DeLaney picnic?" I stifle a laugh.

He closes the basket, putting it aside, "Well it's me, _obviously_. I'm the best part of the picnic--no, I _am_ the picnic."

"Fuck off." I roll my eyes playfully.

"Okay, I will be fucking off right now." He gets up from the table, turning to leave.

"Oh, for fucks sake, sit down." I grab his arm turning him around to see an amused look on his face.

"Is there anything you want to eat or drink that I don't have here?" He gestures to the table.

There's everything you could possibly imagine. 

An assortment of fruits, cheeses, bread, wine, meats. _Everything_.

"Where's the goat?" I ask him, catching him off guard.

He crinkles his nose, looking confused, "the what?"

"The goat..." I pop the wine cork on the wine bottle open, pouring it in our glasses. "You know, since you've brought practically everything, I thought you'd remember to bring a goat too. It's an essential part of my picnic routines."

He grabs the wine bottle from my hand, continuing to pour in our glasses. "I'll bring a goat right now." He places the bottle on the table, looking across at me, seriously, "I'm not even kidding, if you want one, I'll conjure one."

"Not today, perhaps another time when I have more of an appetite." I rub my stomach jokingly, before lifting up my wine glass. He lifts his glass up too, clinking it with mine.

We spend the rest of the time talking about the most random things ever. Eating, drinking, just enjoying each other's company for hours. Maybe if he wasn't so suspicious, I'd consider making him one of my _acquaintances_. But this is _strictly_ business. Nothing more.

We're sitting on top of the picnic table, drinking more wine. I take small sips; I'm not getting drunk tonight, but I've made sure he does. I've been counting his glasses. Seven. He's on his second bottle. He's a heavy weight, that's for sure. 

"So, you're telling me, you had your first kiss with Blaise?" I laugh.

"Yep. Spin the bottle introduced me to my Zabini baby. One kiss and our faith was sealed. He's my man." He drinks from the bottle.

I rest my elbow on my leg, propping my chin in my hand, looking up at him. "From one to ten, how was it?"

He looks up at the starry sky, thinking. "Mhmmm, what's the biggest number in the world?"

"There is none. Numbers are infinite."

"Then, infinity and beyond. The bloke's lips tasted like coconuts." He licks his lips. "From one to ten, how was our kiss?" He looks at me, expectedly. 

I have no idea. Literally, my memory is very minimal from that night.

"I don't even remember." I shrug.

He clutches his chest, gasping dramatically, "are you saying my kiss is not worth remembering? I'm hurt."

"I'm saying we were _under the influence_ so it's not possible to remember." I lay on the table on my back. 

"Oh yeah... we were..." He lays down next to me. "Maybe if we kissed agin..." He peeks at me from the corner of his eye. 

"Maybe when you're not drinking..." I look back at him, trying to hold back a laugh. He can barely keep his eyes open. 

We both just look up at the sky, silently. For the first time in a long time, I feel relaxed. I've felt really tense and stressed lately. It doesn't matter if it's with Zane or Moaning Myrtle, as long as it means getting away from studying and the cabinet, I would be at ease.

"Asya?" I see him turn to look at me from my peripheral vision.

"Mhmm?" 

"Why are you hanging out with me?"

I turn my head to face him, seeing his dark brown eyes reflect the stars in the sky. "What do you mean?"

He turns to his side, propping his head on his hand. "I mean, you went from not wanting to even talk to me, to actually having conversations with me, and ditching your study sessions for me."

I mean _technically_ , you dragged me out of the library.

"Would you rather I ignore you?" I turn to my side as well, facing him.

"No. I like it when you spend time with me." He moves my hair from out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. "It's just, I know you'd rather not be around me. There's something that's forcing you to."

How does nothing escape him? Literally, nothing.

"You're rather insecure tonight." I tease him, smiling, but he tilts his head to the side, continuing to stare seriously at me.

His eyes blink at me, drowsily. He huffs out a long sigh, "I've never felt like... _this_. I don't know what it is but I feel weird. Like... sick." He lays his head on his hand, looking into my eyes, and I do the same. "I wasn't supposed to feel this way. You're making it harder for me."

"I'm making what harder?" Come on, spit it out.

"Everything." He takes in every single detail of my face. "I shouldn't be enjoying my time with you. But I do. I shouldn't trust you, but a part of me wants to... It's like, if I trust you, you might take care of me. You'll help me. Because I really fucking need it."

I move in closer, feeling his hair tickle my forehead. "Then trust me. Talk to me." Please just do it already.

He shakes his head slowly on the table, "I-I can't... It'll ruin everything." He gulps, and it's almost like I see his eyes go glossy. "But I want to... So badly."

"Zane." I put my arm over his shoulder, resting my forehead against his. "You can tell me _anything_. Because believe it or not, I'm the same as you. I want to trust, so badly. But I can't." I look onto his eyes with sincerity. "Maybe if you trust me, you can teach me to trust. I can trust you. We can trust each other--help each other out." Fucking hell just give in already.

"But you'll hate me." He whispers. 

"I can never hate you." I whisper back. A lie. 

"Yes, you will, you'll hate me forever." His voice cracks. Wow, wine really makes him emotional. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's about to cry. 

Oh, I really hope he doesn't cry.

"You can't know what I'll feel towards you. You're not me." 

He reaches his hand, gently cupping my cheek. "Then I need to know, what you feel right now." He strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "About me..."

I don't know what I feel about him to be honest. I feel neutral. Suspicious that he'll kill me at any moment. But neutral.

"I like spending time with you." It's the truth, he's not bad company. I need to say more. Something that'll convince him of my _feelings_. "And I think... I might like _more_ than just spending time with you..." Come onnnnn.

I see a spark of hope in his eyes, and for a moment, he looks like he's about to say something. But instead, he turns away from me. "I think we should get going. It's getting late." His voice is almost inaudible.

What happened?

He is not going to leave the conversation here. I didn't spend all these hours here for nothing.

I rub his back, hoping he'll turn around. "Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"I'm tired. Can you just take me to my dorm?" He mumbles. 

I might just dunk him into the Black Lake to sober him up and then get him drunk again so he can speak to me. 

"Yeah, sure." What else can I say? No, I want you to tell me everything because I need to know whether you want to kill me or not and why you have that mark on your neck.

I help him walk back to his dorm, draping his arm over my shoulder. He doesn't talk, just wobbles like a fucking penguin. And his arm is _so_ heavy. 

We walk into his dorm room, and I notice his roommate isn't in his room. 

Thank Merlin, I can't have anyone seeing me like _this_.

I sit him in his arm chair, before walking to his bed, opening his sheets. I turn around to see him struggling to take off his shirt. "It's stuck." He whines.

I put on a smile, trying my best to be patient with him, helping him remove his shirt. 

_Wow_.

That's all I'm saying. 

He pats his leg with his eyes closed, signalling me to take his pants off too. 

Great, now I've become Nanny Karkaroff. 

After undressing him, leaving him in his black boxer briefs, I pull him by his arm, helping him up. 

I lay him in his bed, putting the covers over him. His are already closed. Did he just fall asleep?

That was quick. 

I turn to leave before I feel a grip on my arm, turning me around. "Wait." He mumbles, with his eyes still closed. "Can you stay until I fall asleep?" You're kidding.

"Sure." I whisper, and he scooches over, letting me sit on the side of the bed. Yep, definitely Nanny Karkaroff. He moves closer to me, nuzzling his head beside my hip. 

He finds comfort in me. It's obvious. It almost makes me feel guilty. _Almost_. Maybe if I wasn't so suspicious about everything and everyone in my life, I could actually hang out with him without having an ulterior motive. He's lonely. He just smokes, drinks, and talks to Blaise and Theo every now and then. 

"I'm sorry." He mumbles, drowsily, before shuffling in his sheets, turning away from me, releasing a loud exhale. 

He's asleep, finally.

Why is he apologizing?

Probably for getting me to babysit him.

Before I get up from the bed, my attention draws onto the mark on the back of his neck. 

Might as well observe while I'm here.

I reach out very slowly, before gently placing my finger tips on his warm neck. I trace the mark and see it light up an amber hue, before I feel something consume my thoughts, and everything goes black.

_A classroom; the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom._

_A few Aurors; I recognize them from the Mausoleum from the other vision, all surrounding a man, leaning against a desk. He's wearing a grey suit; light brown, gelled back hair, a light brown, slightly-greyed, well-groomed beard, and blue eyes._

_One of the Aurors stalk towards him, "you are the only wizard who is his equal. I need you to fight him."_

_The brown-haired man, looks away, sighing, "I can't."_

_"Because of this?" The Auror, takes out his wand, conjuring an image. It's the same image I saw in the Crystal ball. The event of the blood pact. "You and Grindelwald were as close as brothers."_

_So, one of them is Grindelwald?_

_The image focuses in on the young man who's identity I've been trying to figure out this whole time. "Oh, we were closer than brothers." The young man in the image disappears, forming into an older, more mature looking version. Before it all disappears._

_"Will. You. Fight. Him?" The Auror asks sternly._

_"I can't" The man shakes his head, looking remorseful._

_"Well then you have chosen your side." He points his wand towards the man, placing shackles on his wrists. "From now on I shall know every spell you cast, I'm doubling the watch on you, and you will no longer teach Defense Against the Dark Arts." So, the man is a professor..._

_The Aurors walk away before the Professor calls on one of them._ _"If Grindelwald calls a rally, don't try and break it up."_

Suddenly, I feel myself shifting, before I'm at a new place. 

_The Room of Requirement._

_It looks different than what it is now. The same, grey-suited man; the professor, walks up to a large, cloaked object. He pulls down the black cloak, revealing a mirror._

_He looks into it, and images start to form. The same images that I just watched the Auror conjure. The same one from the Crystal ball. It's like he's watching a memory. That's him. It has to be him. And the other man is Grindelwald. He made a blood pact with him. A vow. I don't know what. But that's him._

_The man takes out a photograph from his pocket--the same photograph I have, but there's another half._

_They're both in it._

_The more I look, the more I see the resemblance. The man in the mirror, the man at the Mausoleum, they are the same person. They are the man in the photograph._

_That's_ Grindelwald. 

Then who is the _other_ man?

I feel a sudden movement, before I'm taken out of my trance, to see Zane sleeping soundly in his bed. 

What the hell just happened?

I touch Zane's mark gently again, but nothing happens. It doesn't even light up.

Something happened. It's like his mark, my mark, the necklace, they all help me envision these things. 

So, the photograph Elijah gave me is Grindelwald when he was young. 

Thank fuck, I found _something_ out.

But what's it to me? What does any of this have to do with me? The blood pact, the other man in the vision? Why did Dumbledore get so uncomfortable, and rush me out of his office when I showed him the photograph?

Unless... He knows everything. He knows who the other man is. He knows about the blood pact. 

Nevertheless, I figured _something_ out-- the photograph. And now all I need to do is trash Dumbledore's arse. I'm calling him out on this, I don't care. He can't avoid or hide things anymore. I know enough to know that he's involved in all of this. He _will_ have to tell me.

Wow, spending time with Zane really wasn't useless after all. 

Oh shit, I'm still in his bed. I move away very slowly to avoid waking him up.

If I squint my eyes, he kind of looks like a little kid curled up in bed.

_Awwww._

Fucking pathetic. 

I get up carefully from the bed, before I feel everything spinning, holding the bed post to balance myself. Fuck me, is my iron low again? 

My light-headedness goes away, and I pull myself away from the bed post. His back's kind of open, maybe I should just cover it a bit so he doesn't freez-- No, I don't care, he sleeps almost naked, I don't think he'll freeze. And if he does, oh well.

I open his door quietly, closing it behind me.

I feel kind of drained, I could really use a good three hours of sleep. 

I start walking when suddenly, I hear a _crack_ sound, before Draco pops up out of nowhere; he apparated, and just came back to school. He stands in the Common Room looking tired--yet again. 

He runs his fingers through his hair, letting out a drained sigh, while cracking his neck and stretching his back before his eyes meet mine, and all time stops.

There it is again--that _feeling_. That disgusting, nauseating feeling in my stomach that won't go away. Like a flutter. I hate it.

Silence echoes the room; our eyes do the talking. _Mamihlapinatapai_ \--a look shared by two people, each desiring to initiate something they both want, but are both reluctant to start.

Even when he's tired, the silver specks in his eyes stand out. He looks ethereal. 

Shit, I forgot I'm still staring at him. 

I don't want to see him.

Walk away Asya. Walk away.

How can I walk away when the only way I can get to my room is by passing by him? 

Can't he just walk away first?

Okay, nope, I'm doing this. I keep my gaze straight ahead, not paying the slightest bit of attention to him. I will not talk to him, I will not look at him, I will be completely oblivious to his existence, like I don't give a care in the world. Because I don't. He won't affect me.

Every step I take, I approach him closer and closer, until I can practically smell his expensive cologne, as I'm passing by him.

"Karkaroff." No no no no. I hear his footsteps inching behind me. Why did I stop? Why aren't I walking? Walk you idiot.

I _feel_ him behind me. My chest feels like Hagrid just sat on it. It's _heavy._

I can see his shadow from the wall in the corner. He's reaching his hand out like he wants to touch my shoulder. But he pulls away, choosing to clear his throat instead. "You're bleeding."

That's all he wants to say?

Wait, I'm bleeding?!

I should probably turn around right now. But I can't. I can't face him. But maybe if I just slightly turn my head just to get a little peak--

Nope. Not happening.

"Here." He stretches out his arm, holding a handkerchief in front of me. 

That's a cute colou--

Is that _my_ handkerchief?!

Why does _he_ have _my_ handkerchief?

I just want to confront him but he can easily use the fact that I begged, against me. Embarrassing, it's all so fucking embarrassing.

I practically rip the handkerchief out of his hand and speed off to my dorm, not even looking back. I don't even know where I'm bleeding. I don't even care. Oh my godric that was so embarrassing. I want to hide in a ditch. 

If there was a chance for me to just observe him from a distance without him noticing, I would. But I can't face him when he stares at me like _that_. All innocent, like a little boy. He's anything but innocent. 

The only reason why he hasn't brought up the fact that I begged him is because he's probably waiting for the perfect time to do so. Like in front of everyone.

I don't care, if he brings that up, I'll bring up how he begged to fuck me.

No, I do care. He's a guy. For him it's easy, one word and people will believe that he didn't beg. But with me, it's expected because I'm a girl. It's expected for a girl to beg and plead and whimper during sex. That's just the way our fucked up, misogynistic society works.

I still need to ask him about the potion. Could he be bluffing? But that's a pretty spot-on bluff. 

No, he's not bluffing. I wouldn't be surprised if his father had more files on me that just weren't in his office. I'll ask him about that... when I can actually face him. 

Stupid Asya, fucking stupid. I should've known that he wouldn't have touched me. Then again, no one would know. I could've easily used a non-verbal spell to suffocate him, but I couldn't even take in what was happening. It's like I went blank for a moment. 

He did it on purpose. He acted like he was going to touch me so that he could see fear in my eyes. He knew that I would have to beg him at some point. Did I show fear? I don't fear him. If anything, he should fear me.

I hate him. I do. 

I just wish I hated him enough to destroy these other _emotions_ that I'm conflicted with.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Draco's POV**

I just apparated back from home. I didn't even go to class; I don't have enough time. I work on the cabinet, and then go check on my mother, and procrastinate my studying later. The remainder of the time, I'm being interrogated by the Dark Lord or Dolohov. 

Everything's gone to fucking shit, and now, I have more responsibilities than just the tasks the Dark Lord gave me. With my father in Azkaban, my mother's the one who's suffering, and I can only do so much.

I'm going to snap Potter's neck in half. It's all his fucking fault.

Now, I'm paying for my father's mistakes. The Dark Lord's pissed off because he failed his task in the Department of Mysteries--thanks to Potter and his goons.

I haven't had much time to spend at school, but when I see him, he's dead. 

I turn around and suddenly my eyes meet with _hers_. 

She's looking at me. I didn't even think she'd make eye contact with me ever again after what happened. 

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've seen her, until this moment. The way she looks at me, it makes me feel... weird. Like there's this disgusting, nauseating feeling in my stomach that won't go away-- a flutter. 

Is that even physically possible?

I hate it.

She looks tired. Her cheeks don't have that pink glow they always have. Her under eyes are desperate for sleep. Her hair is unkept, like she's been outside in the wind. 

She hates me. I already know that. And I hate her, obviously. But hearing her say it to someone else. To DeLaney, of all people. It just feels... different. I didn't think she hated me _that_ much. I'm not that bad... 

I don't give a fuck, I hope she continues to hate me, as much as I hate her. No, I hate her more. She called me a devil, she _is_ the spawn or Satan. No, she's the devils nightmare. 

I came back to Hogwarts the same night she was cozying up with DeLaney. That was an image I dreaded to see. Watching him look at her like she's his prey made my blood boil. He can't look at her like that. He can't touch her. He can't call her _pretty girl_. She's _my_ pretty girl.

No, she's not. She's pretty, but she's not _my_ girl. 

What the fuck am I saying?

Nevertheless, I got my anger out somehow...

_"Did you touch her again last night?"_ _I grab DeLaney by the collar of his shirt, slamming him to the wall._

_He looks straight at me, with confusion._ _"Touched who?"_

_I pull him closer, lowering my voice "what's mine." He tilts his head to the side, narrowing his eyes, before pulling a smirk on his face._

_"Oh, pretty girl?" He grins. "I'm going to need you to specify what you mean by touch." He leans in closer, putting his hand behind his back. "Because I touched a lot of her. Her lips, her cun--"_

_At that moment, everything goes dark, and my fist collides with his jaw. "I--warned--you." I smash my fist into his face at each word. "You--won't--touch---her."_

_I hear yelling in the background, but all the voices are muffled out. All I can focus on is making his face unrecognizable. "She tasted so fucking good too." He lowers his voice, licking his lips, now covered in blood, "sweet--like honey."_

It all went blank after that, and all I remember is sitting in Dumbledore's office, covered in blood. Blood that wasn't mine, but DeLaney's.

He can fight. I know he can. I've seen him beat people to death. But for some reason he didn't fight back that day. He just laughed at my face. Either way, if I didn't get pulled off of him by Snape, I would've killed him. He can't be around Karkaroff. I can't let him. I won't.

Karkaroff was livid when I first arrived after being gone for a week. She thinks I didn't work on the cabinet. Little does she know, that every time she was in class, I would apparate from home to work on it, while my mother was sleeping, with whatever time I had on my hands.

Shit, I forgot I'm still staring at her.

Walk away Draco. Walk away.

How can I fucking walk away when the only way I can get to my room is by passing by her?

Can't she just walk away first?

Shit, she's walking. Look away, don't look at her. 

No wait, I _can_ look at her, she's not looking at me so she wouldn't know. 

But do I deserve to look at her? 

But I _really_ want to look at her. 

She walks past me and I can smell her addicting scent. All I need is this scent, and it's like all my tiredness and torture, goes away in an instant. It's my drug. Maybe I should take a little peak before she leaves... 

Why is she bleeding? Her nose is bleeding again, for the second time since we went to Knockturn Alley.

I don't care if she's bleeding. She can look in the mirror when she gets to her dorm. "Karkaroff." Fuck, why did I just call her name? 

Idiot, I'm such a fucking idiot. 

She immediately stops when she hears my voice. But she doesn't look my direction; her back is facing me.

Of course, why would she want to turn around after what I did to her. 

I walk towards her but my chest feels so fucking heavy. The closer I get, the more pungent her scent. I could live in this scent forever. 

Does she know I'm behind her?

I reach my hand out to touch her shoulder so I can grab her attention, but quickly pull away, clearing my throat. "You're bleeding." 

I don't deserve to touch her. I don't. Not after what I did to her. 

She couldn't even look me in the eyes. She _begged_. A moment I've been waiting for since the night I met her. 

But why am I not satisfied? 

I didn't want it to be like this. I didn't want her to beg from fear, but from pleasure. The girl that has never broken in front of anyone, let alone me, cracked _just_ a little that day. Did she think I would hurt her, or fuck her without her consent?

Of course, she did. That's what I wanted her to think, after all. I wanted her to fear me. I wanted to threaten taking her control away. I wanted her to see me as the devil that she speaks of me as. I wanted her to hate me so much, she can't bear to look at me anymore. 

But she still does. She looks me into my eyes like no one ever has before. And it's those eyes that make everything so difficult for me.

I should be happy, proud. I'm affecting her in a way that no one else has. One more push, and she might just break. But when?

"Here." I pull out a handkerchief from my pocket, holding it in front of her. I suppose she doesn't want to look at me right now. That's why we've been avoiding each other while working on the task.

She stares at the handkerchief for a moment. What is she waiting for? I washed it; I hope she doesn't think it's dirty. No, maybe it's because I'm trying to help her. Why am I trying to help her? I should pull away, and leave. I don't care if she's bleeding or not. 

Maybe I should just escort her to the infirmary, and then I'll leave. Afterall, two nose bleeds aren't something to ignore. 

No, I don't care.

Before I can even act on my thoughts, she quickly pries the handkerchief out of my hand, rushing away towards her dorm room, leaving only her sweet sillage lingering the room.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Asya's POV**

I've finished my classes and its finally time to give my honestly innocent Professor Dumbell a visit. 

I walk up the moving spiral staircase, and approach the gargoyles. "Lemon drop," I whisper. Only _he_ would make his password fucking lemon drop. The gargoyles move, and the wall in front of me turns inside out, revealing his office door.

"Professor Dumbledore?" I knock on his door, and it immediately opens, revealing both him and Snape. "I can always come back if I'm interrupting..."

"Not at all. Please," He gestures to the chair in front of his desk, "have a seat." I comply, sitting down as he sits in front of me and Snape stands next to him. This isn't awkward at all. "We were just discussing your studies. It seems you've been severely ill recently, as Severus mentions. That's why you need a few extensions for your assignments."

So, this is what Snape was talking about when he said he'd handle it. Snape looks down at me, warning me with his eyes to nod my head and play along. "Yes, professor, that's correct."

"Very well, I will speak with your professors and give you an extra two weeks. However, I'd advise you to go to the infirmary later today." He scans my face for a moment. "You look quite fatigued."

"Of course. Thank you, Professor." I give him a small smile. 

"Is that why you came here to see me?" He perks up a brow, lowering his glasses down the bridge of his nose to get a better look at me.

"Actually, I had some questions regarding some research I'm doing. Afterall, you have quite a lot of wisdom and knowledge. I thought you could help me perhaps?" I look at him innocently. 

"Of course. Severus, you can stay as well, maybe you can provide some of your own knowledge as well."

Snape is going to chop me up into pieces when he hears my questions. He told me to stay out of trouble, stop digging around. 

Too bad, he can suck it up.

"I've been researching blood pacts." I see his eyes spark at the two words. "And I still don't understand, what happens if the vow is broken?" 

He shifts in his seat, "may I ask why you're researching this particular topic?"

"Curiosity." I play with the hem of my skirt, looking up at him.

Both him and Snape take a moment to look at me through narrowed eyes, trying to read into me. 

I'm unreadable. 

"Curiosity." He repeats, nodding his head. "Unfortunately, to this day no one has broken the bond, so it's not known what the adverse effects are. I hope that answers your question."

"Yes, thank you." One of them at least. "What about Grindelwald?" I blurt out and instantly, I hear his breath hitch, before he clears his throat. 

He's nervous. 

Oh, this is _too_ good.

"Miss. Karkaroff, Professor Dumbledore has a lot of work to do. Perhaps you should leave." Snape eyes me, nodding his head to the door.

I ignore him, continuing to observe Dumbledore's reactions _very_ carefully, continuing to speak. "I've been getting visions. All of Grindelwald. Some when he's young, some when he's much older." Snape and Dumbledore both look at each other. "And I see him with this other man. But I don't know who he is." 

He immediately responds. "Perhaps you're just seeing things due to your illness." Does he think I'm an idiot?

"I've had them since _before_ my _illness_. Maybe if you tell me what all of this is--who he is, and why I'm seeing these things, we might be able to find a way to fix this..." I hint at him, watching him consider whether he should tell me everything or not.

He lets out a sigh, stroking his beard, "I think you just need to rest."

Nope, you're not denying this. "I think not, _professor_." I scooch my chair in closer to his desk, leaning in, "I know you know about Grindelwald, about his blood pact with other man. I know, because I saw you in one of my visions too. You were watching the blood pact from a penseive." 

"Miss. Karkaroff, let's go." Snap urges me to leave with him. I'm not done here.

"I know you're hiding something from me." I look at Dumbledore before glancing at Snape. "And I know _you're_ hiding something from me too."

"This is unacceptable behaviour. Detention--four weeks." Snape narrows his eyes at me, towering over me. 

Okay?

"You both can deny it all you want but you cannot deny what I saw. If you don't tell me what's going on, surely, I will find out through these visions. So, I'd rather you make my job much easier and tell me straight up."

Snape opens his mouth to speak but Dumbledore raises his hand to stop him, before looking at him, like he's communicating with his eyes.

Snape tilts his head at him, almost pleadingly, "not now."

"No Severus, it's alright."

Oh my godric, this turned into a sope opera. I just want a simple answer.

He opens his desk drawer, taking out the photograph he took from me, now taped to the other half. "You asked about the other man in your vision." He slides the photograph towards me on the table. "That man was me."

I take a look at it; they're standing side by side with faded smiles. "In my vision, you said you were more than brothers?"

He hesitates, before responding. "We were. We lived in a time where people like us weren't accepted. I cared for him, a lot more than a brother or a friend, as did he for me."

Holy shit, my head is spinning with the amount of things I'm hearing right now. "Wai-hold on, were you... lovers?"

He avoids my question--not surprising. "We vowed that we wouldn't fight each other." He pulls out the charm holding a blood drop from his desk. "The ministry was after him, and I couldn't do anything. All because of this." He moves it closer to me, letting me observe the floating drop of blood, before putting it back in his drawer. "He took it too far. Took innocent lives, all because he wanted to achieve his own _greater good_. He wanted to run away. We'd start a brand-new life in the world that he wanted to create. But I couldn't do it... I couldn't."

Snap and him glance at one another, turning back to me, "the visions," Dumbledore continues, "they are his way of communicating with you. Grindelwald is showing you bits and pieces that he wants you to see."

I lean back in my seat, getting comfortable. "Isn't Grindelwald like, dead or something? He hasn't been seen or heard of in years." 

He shakes his head. "He is not dead..." He taps his quill on his desk, fidgeting. "I've imprisoned him at the top of Nurmengard castle, in Austria. He's been there for over fifty years."

So, he imprisoned the man he supposedly loves? That's so toxic... I love it.

"If he's imprisoned, how can he communicate with me. That requires magic, does it not?"

"He's a powerful wizard with great knowledge. But that's not what helps him communicate with you. You are connected to him. A mark--you should have one. The deathly Hallows mark."

"I have one on the back of my neck. But it's only visible--"

"To those who carry it." He cuts me off. "The people that have the mark in their flesh, are all connected to him in a way."

So that would mean that Zane knows about my mark too. And Elijah has the mark as well. But I've never seen it on the back of his neck...

"I don't remember getting this mark, so unless I was knocked out unconscious at some point in my life, or if I got it when I was an infant, then I don't know..."

"You were born with it. Others are marked with it later on."

"Okay, hold on, so what does _this_ all have to do with me? I've never even met him. I don't know much about him other than the fact that he used to be considered one of the darkest wizards of all time. Why does he want to connect with _me_ of all people?"

"He wanted to create an army of followers, that would help him achieve his goals. Grindelwald's motives were more about 'creating the greater good', based on what he thought _was_ the greater good. He wanted unity, wanting to overthrow the statute of secrecy to bring the magical world out in the open." 

He gets up from his seat, now sitting on the corner of the desk, closer to me. "He gathered followers, but wanted one who he could trust with everything. One that he could be connected to in a way he would never be able to connect with his other followers. He wanted to make a weapon. So, he froze his seed, and waited for the right time to have someone carry it." 

Snape and him both glance at each other, like they're trying to pick their words carefully. "You are not a Karkaroff." He looks back at me, "Your father is Gellert Grindelwald."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for what's to come now that I've gotten this out of the way. I'm just getting started...
> 
> We didn't get a lot of Draco and Asya interaction today, but you're going to get a lot next chapter. Things are going to become much more clearer then.
> 
> For those of you wondering about the contract... it's still a thing, and it's going to be relevant in the next chapter...
> 
> I promised y'all a playlist a while back, so I have a Spotify playlist (username is rorynotsogilmore)
> 
> To clarify again, I will be updating on Wattpad, AO3, and Inkitt. 
> 
> Comment any theories/suggestions. I appreciate all feedback (as long as its respectful), and love reading your guesses on what's going to happen in future chapters.


	36. HATE ME

**I listened to wRoNg by ZAYN ft Kehlani and Grenade by Bruno Mars on loop while writing the Asya and Draco scene** — **it's in my playlist @rorynotsogilmore on Spotify. (It is their song)**

**Vote or I'll eat you.**

**[MATURE CONTENT** — **TW: VIOLENCE, BLOOD** **]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Laughter. 

Laughter is the only way I can express myself through the pit in my stomach. I feel like I just had a knife plunged into my me and twisted until I was completely destroyed on the inside.

This can't be real. They're lying again to hide something. Two minutes ago I was Miss. Karkaroff, now I'm being told I'm a Grindelwald?

"Asya, wait." I hear Snape calls out making me stop at the door. 

I turn around looking at them, "you both had no right for hiding this from me."

"It was to protect—"

"Protect me?" I storm up to Snape, looking him dead in the eye. "Do you know what you put me through for the last eighteen years? Do you?" 

"There is a reason for everything. You have to trust me."

"Trust?" I start laughing again. "You want me to trust you after all of this? You _lost_ that trust a long time ago. From now on you have no say in my life—none."

He shakes his head, "I am your guardian, I have a moral obligation to protect you."

"You can shove that moral obligation up your arse." I don't give a shit if Dumbledore is here, he can burn in Merlin's arsehole for all I care. 

"I told you that if I find out you're lying to me again, you won't have a say over my life. I meant it. Your rules no longer apply to me, and I am a legal adult, so I can do as I please." 

I turn to Dumbledore, completely disregarding Snapes existence. He's dead to me. "Who gave birth to me?" I keep my voice slow and steady. 

He takes his glasses off, looking away for a moment, "I don't think it's the right time now—"

"Now is the _perfect_ time." I'm about to explode. 

He hesitates, before responding, not even looking at me, "Camille de Lancre," He finally looks up at me, "your birth mother—she was a very well-known pureblood surrogate mother in France." 

_"Was_?" I tilt my head. 

"She's—she died... eight years ago in a fire."

My heart is pacing so fast, I feel like it could burst into flames at any moment. 

I need to get out of this place, away from all these people, away from all these lies. It's too much. It's all so fucking much. 

I immediately storm out of his office, completely disregarding my urges to strangle them both.

He lied to me. I don't give a shit about that old geezer Dumbledore, he's always lying. But Snape, the man who's supposed to protect me? I don't even think this is the entire truth. 

I'm so done with everyone. I've tried being patient, but I'm delaying my whole life. How many more lies can a person take before they completely self-destruct?

I don't know if I want to scream, fight someone, or eat all the food for tonight's dinner in the Great Hall.

Who the hell am I? All this time I've wondered why my father didn't look at me or care for me. Why he enjoyed watching me suffer. Why my mother didn't actually love me, but my inheritance. 

Why would they? They aren't my parents. And even then, even if Grindelwald is my—I can't even say it. He didn't want me because he wanted a child. He wanted me for his own selfish needs—a _weapon_ as Dumbledore so graciously put it.

I have no one. I spent so long mourning over a woman who I thought was my mother. Now I find out that my actually mother died eight years ago. I spent years enduring torture by someone I thought of as my father, to find out he's not even my father. This is so fucked up.

They're selfish. They're all so fucking selfish. It's _my_ life, how can they hide something like this from me? Something that could've changed my whole life if I had known earlier. Who are _they_ to decide whether or not I find out? If I didn't confront them about it, I wonder if they would've ever told me. 

I storm through the corridors, finally walking to the common room to see Zane sitting with Theo and Blaise. They're laughing about something before his eyes spot me, and his laughter dies down.

I nod my head towards my dorm room, directing him to follow me. I need to figure this out today. How is _he_ connected to Grindelwald?

A couple moments after I arrive, so does he, knocking on my door. 

"Hey..." He stands in front of my door awkwardly. I pull him in, closing the door behind me. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I smile, sitting down on my bed. 

"I don't know..." He sits on the arm chair across from me. "I got kind of drunk last night so if I did something stupid just tell me—"

"Nope. You were perfectly content." My arse, he was an emotional mess. "Though, I will say, you're fucking heavy."

He forces a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. The fucks wrong with him?

"What's wrong?" I ask him noticing his discomfort. 

"Nothing." He purses his lips, shaking his head. "Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"What," I cross one leg over the other, "I can't just want to see you?"

He narrows his eyes slightly, looking me up and down, " _You_ , want to see _me_?"

"Yeah, I do..." He looks confused. Good. "I don't know what's going on. I'm confused. _You_ make me confused." I get up from the bed, walking towards him. "I want that confusion to go away." I crouch in front of him, looking up into his deep-brown eyes. "Can you make it go away?"

He looks down at me, bringing his hand to my cheek, "you can talk to me about anything, you know that right?" I lean into his touch, staring blankly at him while he strokes my cheek gently. I need him to believe that I care. I need him to confess today.

He gets up from his seat, crouching down to my height, before we both just sit on the ground, cross-legged.

"Why do you care?" I don't even realize the tone in my voice, too focused on finishing this once and for all. 

He looks taken back, furrowing his brows but quickly wipes the distress from his face, putting his hand on my knee. "Why do you?" He lowers his voice. "I remember...some of the things you told me last night... Why do _you_ care?" He searches my eyes.

I don't, I just needed information.

I need to be believable; I can't just throw myself at him. I avert my gaze from him, looking around the room, "I... I don't know..." I feel his finger under my chin, rotating my head so I can look at him. 

"Tell me." His voice is nearly silent.

I pause a moment for the dramatics, before responding. "You make me feel things" His eyes spark. "And I want to act on those feelings, but everyone around me lies... I just want someone to trust." He immediately looks away, dropping his grip from under my chin. Lying twat. "You wouldn't lie to me... would you?" I move my head slightly to look at his eyes that still look away from me.

"No." He finally looks back. "I wouldn't." You are right now, bitch.

"So then, if I asked you what you felt about me..." I put my hand on his knee. "What would you say?" I look at him innocently.

His face goes pale, a flush of blood rushing to his cheeks as I watch his Adams apple bob. I want him to just admit it so that I can hit him with the real question. He's not leaving this room until I've gotten what I want. "I would say..." He leans his face closer to mine, almost brushing his nose against mine, burning his eyes through my soul. "Stop playing games with me."

Wait, what?

He leans in closer towards my ear, whispering "I know your motives...what you're after." He's bluffing. He has to be bluffing. He moves his face away, looking deep in to my eyes, "It was nice while it lasted." He wouldn't... "Goodbye, pretty girl." He gets up and before I can even think about something to say, my door shuts, and I'm left alone...

Again.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

One week. 

One week of smiling, and acting like everything is perfectly fine—no, eighteen years of acting like everything is perfectly fine. And the thing is, everyone believes me. Everyone believes my smile. 

But they don't see what's in my eyes. They don't see _me_ , who's screaming—begging for help. For someone to just grab me by my shoulders and shake some sense into me. Maybe even hold me. To tell me that everything's going to be alright. That I'll get through this. Because I always do. I always have. 

They don't see me. So why should _I_ see me? I've buried everything in the back of my head, I'll bury this too. But there will come a day, when there's no more room to bury anything. Then everything will pile up like a landfill, until it's all burned, and I don't know if I'm ready to burn with it.

I feel so unmotivated. 

What's the point of even trying? What's the point of working on the cabinet that won't fix, trying to figure out what Zane wants when he won't budge, trying to live a life where I genuinely don't know who or what I am. 

At this point, I could be told I'm part elf and I'd believe it. 

I want to give up, but I'm so stubborn I never leave things unfinished; I have to find everything out. 

You know, right now would be a great time for Zane to be here. Even though I was with him for informative purposes the whole time, he was still somewhat enjoyable to be around. 

Maybe because he's the only person I've actually hung out with outside of school since I first came here. Draco doesn't count. I was practically imprisoned in the Manor until Voldy showed up.

I'm so lonely, and you'd think after years of loneliness, I'd get used to it. But I never do. Blaise, Theo, Willow; they see me as their friends, but I can't see them as mine. If I do, I'll have to trust them, and if one day they happen to break that trust, I can't handle that.

Now I'm sitting up at the Astronomy Tower eating an entire tray of brownies I stole from the kitchen. I've been eating so much, just the thought of food makes me feel like throwing up. 

It was either food, or alcohol, and all I'm saying is, if I get one taste of alcohol, I'm not letting the bottle down until I'm drunk. Drunk me, isn't good me. 

The recent events of everything still haven't hit me. I feel hysterical. Like I could laugh right now. 

Maybe I should laugh right now... I need something funny. Think of something funny Asya...

Theo slapping Blaise in class... nope. 

Voldy in a tutu... That's not enough either, I'm literally forcing out a laugh. Great, now I don't know how to laugh. 

How else do I let out this tension in me? 

Why can't I just cry like normal people? 

I can't bring it out of me. It's like its stuck. The last time I cried was when I killed my mother—correction, _fake_ mother.Even then, it wasn't bawling crying, I just shed a couple tears of shock before blanking myself out of it all, and burying the memory at the back of my head.

Wait, I know exactly what I need right now...

Yeah, why not? 

**Draco's POV**

I just came back from the manor and I'm ready to drink and smoke until I pass out. I'm so tired, I feel like an empty body walking around. 

Mother had another panic attack today, so I had to increase her sedatives. She just sleeps now. Doesn't even eat. I've even tried forcing food to her, she can't do it. She's lost so much weight, she can barely hold herself up to stand.

She's slowly killing herself in front of me and the more I try to do something about it, the worse she gets. She's the only person who fucking cares about me, now she can't even care for herself, let alone for me.

I walk up the staircase that leads to the Astronomy tower, feeling a growing buzzing sound in my ears. Someone used Muffliato. Maybe I'll walk in the middle of some action. I love being a cockblock, it prides me that I have enough control to completely impact one's pleasure. 

I open the door, and a loud bass sound hits my ears before I walk in to something that's going to be engraved in my head for the rest of my life. 

_"I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny."_

Wrinkle-free clothing, curls, and is that... a hint of orange blossom?

_"When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung."_

Karkaroff?

She's shaking her arse, swinging her sweater vest in one hand with a brownie in her other hand. I don't know what's worse, her dancing or her singing... 

It's kind of entertaining to watch... 

_"Oh baby, I want to get wit'cha, and take your picture."_

I've never seen her so... loosened up. Not even at parties. It's refreshing after spending weeks surrounded by dark, moody shit. Glad _she's_ enjoying her time...

_"My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon."_

Maybe I'll stay for a little longer... 

No, I should leave before she sees me. 

No, _she_ can leave, I came here to relax. 

She walks over to a large tray of brownies that I'm _just_ noticing, lifting it up before she starts dancing with it. 

Did she take something?

**Asya's POV**

_This_ is what I need.

Fuck everyone—I don't need anyone. It's just me, myself and my _delicious_ tray of brownies. 

What _is_ that smell? It smells like... weed—

Oh. My. God. 

It's not too late to pitch myself off the Astronomy tower, is it?

Draco's leaning against the stone wall, with a bottle of fire whisky in one hand, and a joint in the other. He slowly exhales the smoke, with an amused look on his face, while resting the bottle on the ground.

How long has he been here for...?

_"'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong"_

_"And I'm down to get the friction on"_

With a swift movement of my hand, the song stops playing, leaving him and I surrounded by the sound of the silent wind... And pure awkwardness. He looks like he wants to burst out laughing, but quickly wipes his amusement away when he notices my seriousness. 

Why's he just staring? He's not even saying anything, just continues to blow out smoke, while his eyes stab into me like daggers. 

What's the best thing to do right now... Avoid? I need to walk away. 

Why am _I_ leaving? _He_ can leave. 

Shit shit shit, why is he walking towards me? 

Calm and collected, I am calm and collected. 

_No, you're not, you're about to piss you pants._

Shut up. 

After weeks of avoidance, today's the day he's going to shove the fact that I begged in my face, isn't it? He's here to gloat, I just know it.

He takes another step towards me, looking me eye to eye, as he burns out his joint in the palm of his hand, not even flinching. 

He moves a little closer, tilting his head to the side as he observes my every move from up close. "Are you just going to stare?" His voice is soft, but daring, like he wants to push me. I don't even realize I've been taking a step back for each step he takes forward.

Look away Asya. 

No, stare at him until he breaks. 

He takes one more step forward, until my back hits the railing, and I feel a rush of wind blow my hair back. The scent of his addicting cologne burns through my senses, making me hold on tightly to the railing, in fear that if I smell it any longer, I might fall. 

"Aren't you going to say something?" His eyes dart between my lips, and my eyes.

He leans in closer, holding the railing, trapping me against it. "Or do something?" The smoke that was rising from both of our breaths stops, and I feel like I've lost all ability to speak or move. "Or are you scared?" He scans my face with a faint smirk. He's playing with me. He's doing it again.

"Did I scare you that day, mhm?" He tilts his head, slightly pouting in a mocking way. "I did, didn't I? Because the Karkaroff I know would've gotten her revenge a long time ago." 

He doesn't know me. _I_ don't even know me.

But he's right, I would have, if I _were_ a fucking Karkaroff. 

He lets out an exaggerated sigh, "now I can't even get a word out of you...Whatever will I do?"

"The _Karkaroff_ you _know_?" I finally speak, intrigued by his choice of _words_. He doesn't know shit about me. 

"She speaks!" He gasps sarcastically.

I narrow my eyes, trying to search for an ulterior motive. He probably has a million. "What do _you_ know about _me_?"

He purses his lips, trying to hold back a smirk. "What do I know about you?" He repeats, leaning in closer, like he's trying to push me off the edge—literally. 

He moves his hand slightly, like he's about to touch my hair, but pulls away. "I know that you have brown hair..." He takes in the appearance of my hair, observing it closely. "Hair that you like to put up with that blue quill of yours." I'm so tempted to ask him what shade of blue. Let's see how closely he's been paying attention to me.

"I know that you like apple cinnamon tea—lukewarm because you don't have the patience to wait for it to cool down." That's true, I don't. 

His eyes trail down the side of my neck, as he tilts his head to get a better view, before moving closely to the nape of it, but his lips barely touch my skin. "I know that you have a little sweet spot right here..." He blows cool air gently on the nape of my neck, "the slightest touch is enough to give you goosebumps all down your arms." And just like that, instant goosebumps.

I clear my throat, trying to contain myself. "That's enough."

He tuts his tongue, pulling his head away from my neck to look down on me. "I can't forget the _most_ important detail." He stares intently, like he's examining my eyes. "those eyes—those fucking eyes always stare with such intensity. There's a flame in your eyes—a light.... No matter what I do to you, it never dies down." 

I quickly avert my gaze, noticing his knuckles turn white as his hands grip the railing tightly, before looking back at him. "Why doesn't it die down, Karkaroff?" I barely notice that I'm almost leaning off of the Astronomy Tower. "What do I have to do to make the light in your eyes die down...?" 

Destroy me. Break me in a way that I will never be able to repair again.

"Why are you still here—in front of me? After everything that I've ever done to you, how can you stand here and look me in my eyes without yelling at me, or flinching, or reacting—something?" His eyes look desperate, like he wants me to react. I do too. But I can't, and I don't know why. 

At this point both of our fingers are tightly knit on the railing. "I hate you," is all I can let out from my exhausted body. That's the best way I can describe everything I feel. I'm exhausted. Everything and everyone around me is so draining, I want to escape it all.

"Hate me more..." He closes his eyes, inhaling slowly through his nose. "I _need_ you to hate me more." 

"I already hate you with everything I have." I try to maintain a strong voice.

He shakes his head, opening his eyes. "It's not enough... I want you to hate me so much, you can't bear to look at me... but you do. I want you to hate me so much, you can't handle my presence... but you still haven't left... Why don't you leave?"

"Why don't _you_ leave?" I instantly reply. "You don't have to be here, but you are. Maybe it's _you_ who needs to hate me more, mhm?"

His eyes darken, "hate you more?" He leans in so close, his chest is touching mine, as I find myself leaning back more, practically about to fall off. "Karkaroff, I hate you so much, I could push you off this railing right now."

I tilt my chin up, trying to maintain my confident demeanor. " _Could_ , doesn't mean you _would_."

He tilts his head, smirking at me, "you're leaning off the edge of the Astronomy Tower. You don't think I can do it?"

Without a response, I grab the collar of his shirt, switching positions with him, so now he's the one leaning off the railing. "Now _you're_ leaning off the edge of the Astronomy Tower..." 

He has a stupid smile plastered on his face. I want to slap it away. "Come on then, push me." 

I tighten my grip on his shirt, "How did you know?"

He narrows his eyes, "know what?" his tone mocks me.

"The potion..." 

He grins evilly, "what potion?" Is he serious right now?

I push him back a little, still gripping tightly onto his shirt, " _don't_ play with me."

"Karkaroff, I usually prefer to play different games..." His tone hints amusement. I'll fucking _destroy_ that amusement.

"You said, and I quote _'try not to hyperventilate, you know, because your potion will wear off.'_ What the fuck was that about?" I try my best to maintain a calm voice. He's already growing satisfaction with my reactions.

"Figure of speech." He bats his eyes, innocently at me.

"If you don't answer right now, I will force Veritaserum down your throat." I tilt my head, warning him.

His pink tongue pokes out slightly, wetting his top lip, "I've missed these reactions of yours."

I lean in, bending him back on the railing even more, "answer me."

"Make me." He responds with the same tone.

Our eyes fight a battle that I'm not ready to surrender myself to. I always win. "I know you know. I don't know how. I don't know why. But what I _do_ know is that you have a plan. You _always_ have a plan."

"Did you hit your head? What was in those brownies you were eating?" He mocks me.

I pull away from him, "why can't you just answer me for once? You clearly said what you said on purpose to get a reaction out of me." He's smiling. Why is he smiling?! "You want to gloat? You got what you wanted, okay? You _forced_ me to beg."

Instantly, his amused expression washes away, and a cold one replaces it. "I didn't force you to do anything." His tone is serious and he takes a step forward. "I did what I always do. _This_ is who I am, whether you like it or not. I don't give a shit about you, or why you reacted the way you did that day. I've choked you—almost to death, pinned you to walls, binded you in my bed and left you there for hours, and _now_ you want to act sensitive?"

"Sensitive? " I laugh out loud. "You made me believe that you'd rape me." I take a step forward. "You knew what you were doing. You knew how much my control meant to me. You did it on purpose."

He stares blankly, opening his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. "So yes, you did force it out of me. Because you knew I wouldn't have done it any other way."

He looks away, "I didn't think you would react the way you did..." His voice is just above a whisper.

"That's the problem. You _don't_ think, you never do. You're impulsive. You don't think about anyone other than yourself. Your wants, your needs, your desires. Everything is about you." He doesn't even react, looking down at his shoes.

"You wanted to punish me for what I said—what I did. Is that it? Were you going to leave me chained up in the dark too if I didn't beg? Afterall, you know about the potion, why not put it to the test?"

His eyes peak up from the ground, "I would _never_ do that—"

"You can't say that. You don't even know what you can or cannot do. Whenever something triggers you it's like—it's like you turn into this—this—"

"This what?" He pushes himself off the wall, towering over me. "Spit it out, come on. What do I turn into?"

I lift my head up, looking daringly into his eyes. "Do not try me." 

"What do I turn into?!" 

"Don't yell at me." I point my finger at him, warning him.

He grabs my finger, pulling it down—something I've noticed him do whenever I raise my finger at him. "I'll yell at you if I want to yell at you!"

"Well then I can yell at you!"

"Good! Yell at me! Don't be silent and mopey, show me how much I anger you!"

"You couldn't anger me even if you tried!"

"Just shut the fuck up and admit you're pissed off!"

"I am not pissed off, _you're_ pissed off!"

"I'm not pissed off, I'm completely calm! See—" He fakes a smile, gesturing at it with his hands, "calm."

"Oh my god" I groan, turning my back to him while running my finger through my hair. 

"Do I make you angry, _Karkaroff_?" I can hear him amused from the back. "Are you going to sit here shoving brownies into your mouth like a pathetic _bitch_? Or are you going to do something about it?"

I snap my head around, laughing. "A pathetic bitch?" I storm over to the tray of brownies, picking it up. "I guess I'm a pathetic bitch then," I grab a piece, eating it slowly, exaggerating its goodness, before I flick him off.

"Look at you, eating your fucking feelings. I'm giving you a month—in a month you'll have gained ten thousand pounds, stuffing your face in your dorm room, in sweats and messy hair, while feeding twenty cats." He scorns me.

"Mhmmmm." I continue eating, shoving it in his face. After finishing my bite, I continue, "you know what you'll be in a month? Dead—in a ditch behind a pub or in a garbage can somewhere. You know why? Because you're a sick, eighteen-year-old alcoholic who _drinks_ his _feelings_."

His eyes darken, before he storms up to me, and grabs the tray of brownies from my hand, throwing it off the Astronomy tower. "Did you just throw my brownies?" I ask with a low tone, squinting my eyes at him.

He grins mischievously, " _Oh_ , looks like I did." He stretches his neck to look over the railing, "And it was quite a long fall too, I don't think they've managed to _survive_."

I grab the bottle of alcohol that he rested on the ground, tossing it off the tower. It really _is_ a long fall, the sound of it breaking it practically non-existent. "I hope you fall down with them." I smile sarcastically.

"If I fall." He stalks towards me. "I'm taking you down with me."

I tilt my chin up, "go to hell."

He lets out a low laugh, putting his hands behind his back and leaning down to my eye level, "hell is my kingdom, but by all means, burn with me."

I huff, walking past him to leave. I can't get a word out of him, and I'm not in the mental state to handle him right now.

"Leaving so soon?" I hear him whine, sarcastically. "Go on then, fuck off and go in your hiding like a coward. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll see that face of yours again a month from now."

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell while walking away.

"Have fun eating—Karkaroff the cowardice cow."

I stop, turning my head slowly, to see a smile forming on his face once he notices my reaction. "What did you just call me?" I squint my eyes.

He smirks, glancing up and down my body. "Are you angry?"

He's doing this on purpose.

"You're an immature dick."

"And you're a stubborn bitch." He perks up a brow, waiting for a reaction.

"Leave me alone." I turn around but before I can even take a single step, he calls after me again.

"Don't be a stranger, Karkaroff the cowardice cow!"

I want to cut off his tongue.

Without even thinking I cast a _Bombarda_ towards him, causing a small explosion to go off.

He looks at the wall next to him, peaking through decent sized whole it made, before turning very slowly to look at me, rather blankly. "You were going to blast my head off?" His question rolls off his tongue casually.

I don't know, _was_ I going to blast his head off? "Yes." I lift my chin up, pridefully.

He tuts his tongue, "not like that. Don't aim at the wall, aim at me." Out of nowhere, he takes out his wand, " _bombarda._ " The tree across from us falls down in flames. "Aim, _Karkaroff._ I know you can do it."

"I'm not going to play your games." I walk away before I hear him whisper something, and suddenly, agolden telescope flies across the room _, just_ passing me. 

Did he just throw a telescope at me?

I turn my head slowly, looking at his smug face from over my shoulder. "My hand slipped..." He shrugs.

I inhale deeply, turning around again before I'm swept off my feet, falling forward. Bitch used a trip jinx on me. "You're very clumsy, Karkaroff." I can hear his teasing tone behind me, getting closer. 

I'm torn between ripping his head off or throwing him off of this tower. 

I inhale and exhale, trying to control myself. I watch his footsteps come closer to me, before he crouches down in front of me. "Everything alright?" He tilts his head. "You look... _angry_." He bites the inside of his cheek, holding back a smile.

I just smile at him, holding back all my urges to throw that globe sitting across the room, at his head. I get up from the ground, dusting off my clothes. Before I can take a step towards the door, the door locks.

 _"Alohamora,"_ I whisper, unlocking it, and just when I thought things couldn't get worse, a trail of flames erupts in front of me, blocking my path. 

I turn around to see him leaning against a wall, with his arms folded over his chest, blowing the tip of his wand with a smirk.

I instantly conjure a flame towards him, causing him to hiss as it passes by him, burning his forearm. He looks down at it, nodding his head before his eyes look back at me. "That's it?" I see his lips move and the flame behind me grows larger. "Fucking _weak_..." He scoffs.

I whisper an incantation and in a split second, the glass globe from across the room shoots towards him. Pieces fly everywhere as it shatters between us. I watch a piece of the African continent jab into his thigh. 

He clenches his jaw, biting back the pain while his eyes flicker between the glass in his thigh, and me. 

His smile grows wide, grinning like a Cheshire cat, while he pulls the piece out of his leg. "Good girl." His voice is sultry with the sound of the crackling circle of fire, now surrounding us. "Now do it again."

He steps towards me, disregarding the gash in his thigh. "Do it." He picks up a large piece of broken glass from the ground, forcing it in my hand. "Again."

"No." I throw the glass on the ground, making it shatter.

He looks at the broken piece on the ground, "no?" He picks up another piece; much sharper than the previous one. 

He huffs out a laugh, "Karkaroff, let me tell you something." He traces the glass with his index and middle finger, observing its sharpness. "If you hadn't begged that day, I would've taken you on that table, without your permission." His eyes look up from the piece of glass, trying to catch a reaction.

"No, you wouldn't have." He just wanted to intimidate me because he's an arsewipe.

"I would. And I wouldn't care one bit. You know why?" He grins evilly. "Because I like seeing you in pain. I like treating you like the whore you are. It satisfies me in ways I can't describe."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. I get what I want. And if I'm not given it, I take it. You're nothing but a toy for me to fuck. I'll use you however I want. Now, are you going to continue to let me talk to you like this or are you going to fucking stab me already?"

"I—won't—do—it." I articulate each word, watching him narrow his eyes in irritation.

He looks at me for a moment, like he wants to figure out how else he can get to me. "Once upon a time—actually a few months ago, I went into your room. I searched everywhere for something, anything to use against you." He leans in closer, "want to know what I found?" 

"What?" I seethe out, making him smile in satisfaction.

"A little black box under your mattress—not a very good hiding spot." He shoves the glass in my hand again, holding his hand tightly around mine so I won't let go of it. "Your potion— I know what it's for. I was going to switch it out and watch you break down slowly every single day. I wanted your fucked up life to flash before your eyes, until one day, you wouldn't be able to take it anymore." 

He tugs on my arm, pulling me in closer, holding the glass in my hand against his chest. "Now do it."

I pry my arm out of his grasp, and push him away, laughing. "You're fucking sick."

He smiles, shaking his head, "I _am_ fucking sick." He sends the glass flying towards me, and I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder. "The pain." He pants out, "doesn't it make you angry? Doesn't it make you want to hate me more—want to _hurt_ me more?"

"I told you to stab me in the heart, not the shoulder you halfwit." I wince out.

"Answer me, doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't." He furrows his brows—almost confused looking. I don't want to hurt him. I want him to hurt me. I want to feel pain. I deserve to feel pain. I need to feel something but I can't feel anything. All this shit has happened to me and I can't even react.

I feel a warm sensation grow on my right side, as I pull out the glass shard jabbed in my shoulder, while he watches my warm blood trickle down my arm, dropping slowly on the wooden floor. My eyes flick up to him, "you got blood on my shirt."

He steps closer, "and _you_ got blood on my pants." We look eye to eye at each other, and I see the ice melt in his eyes with from fire that reflects them. "Use me, Karkaroff. Take out all of your anger on me."

I shake my head, scoffing. "I don't have any anger."

He's inches away from my face, "you" he takes one step forward, making me take a step back. "Are." He takes another step. "Lying." One final step, and my back hits a dead end.

He's so close to me, I'm worried my voice will crack from the pressure I'm feeling, not only on my chest, but between my legs. "I. Am. Not." 

He locks me in place, resting his hands on each side of me, lowering his head to my height, "Karkaroff..." He challenges me with his eyes, "say it. You are angry."

"I'm not angry."

"Say. It."

"No."

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it, Karkaroff."

"No."

He slams his fist right next to my head, into the wall. "Say it!"

"No!" At this point we're screaming back and forth into each other's faces.

"You're angry with me just fucking admit it already!"

"I'm not angry, I don't give a flying fuck about you!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"That's bullshit! You've been running away for a month, and you're running away right now!"

"I'm not running away from anything!"

"Then stay! Fight me! Hit me! Do something!"

Next thing I know, I throw a bunch of glass at him, bare handed, not even caring about the burning sensation in my flesh. "I fucking hate you!" I yell out from the loud sound of the roaring fire.

"Good! Hate me!" He throws the glass back, as both of our hands leak with blood. I cast a spell, causing a small bar from the ceiling to fall on the ground. 

I swing it towards him, but he grabs a hold of my wrist, stopping me. "Use your magic, Karkaroff. You're wasting your strength trying to hit me with it." 

"Don't tell me what to do!" I swing the bar, breaking the small stand the globe was on.

"Hit _me_ , not _that_!" 

"Sod off!" I shove his chest with the bar with all my force. He stumbles on a thick piece of glass, pulling my sleeve before he collapses on the small shards on the floor, and I on his chest. I watch his blood slowly spreading from beneath him. 

I feel the fire growing behind us, while we both breathe heavily against each other's faces, caching out breaths when he starts laughing out of nowhere. Why the hell is he laughing?! "Karkaroff, would you bleed for me like I bleed for you?"

What?

He wraps his leg around me, flipping me over and I feel violent jabs into my back from the remaining glass pieces, making me gasp out. "Tell me how much you hate me. Tell me how pissed off you are with me."

"Fuck you!" I push him off of me, seething out in pain as my body crunches on the glass pieces, before getting up and grabbing the broken bar from the ground, hitting another random object. I need to take my anger out, I just don't want to hurt him—not right now. My shoulder aches in burning pain, as I break the staircase railing.

"Your hits a pathetic!" He gets up, picking up the broken railing, and swings at the wall, breaking a large hole into it. "See? Like this." 

I feel his overwhelming presence behind me, before his arms slither around my hands, holding the bar. I feel his soft breath on the shell of my ear. "Think of your anger. That anger that you won't admit. Think of everything and everyone that makes you angry. Think of this wall as them, and strike."

Think of this wall as them.

 _ **"Five minutes**_ — _ **if you can't take this curse for another five minutes, you know the consequences."**_

 _ **"Father, I ca**_ — _ **"**_

_**"Crucio!"** _

He guides my hands, and I hit the wall, causing it to crack, but not enough. "Release your anger, Karkaroff. I know you can do it."

_**"Lucius! I'm glad you're here again. She's in the back room, but be careful today. She's not doing too well."** _

_**"What do you suggest I use?"** _

_**"I have just the thing. Septumsempra, a new curse. I haven't tried it on her yet, let's see how she takes it from you."** _

_**"Are you sure she can handle it right now? She doesn't look very well."** _

_**"She can take it. She's not weak."** _

_**"Septumsempra!"** _

I hit the wall again, making a small hole in it. "Again." Draco encourages me, lifting the broken railing in his hand, joining in with me.

_**"Elijah, is Dolohov coming today?"** _

_**"He'll be late, he has something to finish up."** _

_**"Go to the warehouse, bring in the eels and snakes. I'll wait here for him."** _

_**"No, I'm staying. He pushes her too far, the last curse he used almost killed her."** _

_**"That's the point. You think I bring in all these people for fun? She needs to grow her endurance, now do as I say."** _

I start yelling out all the tension built-up inside me, hitting the wall as hard as I can. I can see Draco smiling from the corner of my eye. 

_**"Dolohov, you're late."** _

_**"Careful with your tone, Karkaroff. Where is she?"** _

_**"Back room, like always. Don't use any curses today, she's just recovering from the last one. There's a bucket of venom in there, do what you will with it."** _

_**"I'll do what I want. In the meantime, the Dark Lord wants to see you right now."** _

_**"I need to be here, I cannot leave he**_ — _ **"**_

_**"That was an order, Karkaroff. I'll take care of her."** _

"Good girl! Let it all out!" Draco yells over the sounds of the fire and the breaking walls.

_**"My my, Asya Karkaroff... What? No warm welcome?** _ _**Such a shame... A pretty little figure like yours, all bruised up."** _

"Good, now hit that one," Draco uses the bar in his hand to point to the wall on the other side of the tower.

**"Your father said I can't use any curses. You know how much I like my curses, don't you? It helps release my... tension. So, l** **et's try something different today."**

Draco looks at me, as we both pant from exhaustion "together?" 

Our eyes meet, and I nod, "together."

"On the count of three, Karkaroff."

**"I've always been curious to see what covers your wounds underneath all of those...clothes."**

"One."

_**"Just as I always imagined it."** _

"Two."

_**"I wonder if you taste how I imagined, too."** _

"Three!"

We both yell loudly, smashing the wall.

**"Elijah, what is she doing here?"**

_**"This is my surprise for you**_ — _ **kill her. Kill your mother"**_

Pieces of glass, wood, and stone fly everywhere as we both just swing at random objects. The glass glistens in the air like crystals, reflecting a rainbow, while we both pant. 

_**"You are not a Karkaroff, your father is Gellert Grindelwald."** _

I drop to my knees almost instantly from exhaustion, not caring about the pain of the glass pieces jabbing into me. He falls next to me; we both sit on shards of glass in a ring of fire. Bruised, bloody, and broken. 

We lay down for a couple minutes, letting our breathing fall to a normal pace, before glancing at each other, breaking out in laughter out of nowhere. _Real_ laughter. 

About a minute later, both of our laughs die down, and we just stare at each other. "Karkaroff?" 

"Mhm?"

"Whether you begged or not, I wouldn't have done anything to you that day, or ever... Not without your consent."

"I know." I respond without even thinking. He furrows his brows, like he's surprised by my response. I know he wouldn't have done anything. But he still did it with malicious intent. 

I hear him whisper something, before the fire around us fades away. "Next time I do something bad to you, don't run away. Break things, hurt me, yell at me—something, but don't run away."

"I wasn't running away...I was just...busy."

He nods, holding back a smirk. "Busy." 

"Yes, busy." Busy thinking about a million different way I could avoid you. "Why were _you_ running away? You don't even go to class."

He looks away, playing with the glass shards on the ground, "I was just..." He looks back at me, " _Busy_." He repeats, shifting closer to me. "Why didn't you just stab me? You destroyed everything in this tower, but left me with only a cut and a burn. Think I'm too weak to take it?" He scoffs, jokingly.

"I just didn't feel like hurting you..." I didn't want to inflict pain, I wanted to feel it.

His expression is unreadable. I'm assuming he's confused. I am too. "There will come a day where you hate me so much, you won't hesitate to stab me. Until then, I'll be waiting."

"Then help me hate you more," I lean in closer, "I want you to hurt me—physically, emotionally, whatever you want, I don't care. I want to feel pain."

He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes, like he's trying to understand me—understand why.

"Let's make a deal..." His eyes spark at the word. "I'll sign the contract. But under one condition. You hurt me." 

He shakes his head, "Karkaroff, if you sign that contract, you won't have your control. I won't deal with you giving me the silent treatment again."

"I won't give you the fucking silent treatment. I know I won't have my control and that's exactly why I want to sign it. You want me to hate you even more, yeah? The first step to that is giving you my control. I want you to hurt me so bad that I can never forget the pain you put me through. Hurt me with whatever it takes."

He sits silently, looking down at my lap, before he lets out a distressed sigh, looking back at me. "What if I don't want to hurt you, mhm?"

"If you want me to hate you to the point where I can't bear to look at you. To the point where I could kill you in a heartbeat, I need you to do this. Not just for me, but for you. Just do this one thing for me, and I promise, at the end of the five months—"

"Four," he cuts me off. "We wasted a month."

"Four," I correct myself. "At the end of the four months, I will hate you so much, you'll never had anyone that's hated you as much as I do."

He plays with the glass pieces on the floor, thinking about a response. Please just say yes. I need him to say yes. 

He sticks his hand out, now covered in bruises, cuts, and dried blood. "Promise?" 

I have to do this. He is the only person who has actually made me feel _something_. He makes me weak. If he's capable of making me feel all these weird emotions, then he is capable of hurting me. 

I need him to ruin me. I need to feel pain so that I can release all the built-up tension inside me. I _want_ to feel pain. He has to hurt me, and the only way to do that is to give him a piece of me. 

I reach out, letting our injured hands grasp, before we shake on it. "promise." He holds onto my hand for a brief moment, turning it over to examine the cuts on it. 

He gently touches my fresh cuts with the tip of his fingers, and all I can feel is this nauseating feeling in my stomach again. The flutters. These fucking flutters. "Let's get you cleaned up, then we can go to the kitchen." 

I tilt my head, give him a confused look. "The kitchen?"

He gently places my hand in my lap, looking back at me with a less tense, more relaxed expression. "To get you your brownies, Karkaroff."

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**Now we're getting started!! I'm so excited!!!**

**For those of you who are confused as to why Asya agreed, this girl can't cry, she can't release any tension built up inside of her. She needs to feel pain, she wants it. Draco has been the only one to make her feel _something_. Thats why she trusts that he can hurt her so good, that she'll finally be able to release that tension so she can move on with her life because it's all building up.**

**Also, I know I have some young readers, so I want to clarify something. Asya and Draco's relationship is toxic. This is not healthy, nor do I encourage it. This story is all about character development, which you will see a lot of. So yes, there will be fights, gaslighting, death threats, but I do not encourage or condone this behaviour. This is not how you should treat _anyone_.**


	37. PARIS & CREAM

**** ****

**Uhhh... so... this chapter is um... just read it.**

**Also, I want crème brûlée and whipped cream. If you have some** — **eat it** **. You won't regret it... I promise.**

**[MATURE CONTENT--READ AT YOUR OWN RISK]**

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

"Asya, hurry up!"

"Give me a second!"

"You've been saying that for the past ten minutes! I had a quiche and I feel it coming!"

I flush the loo and brush my teeth, rinsing out the throw up from my mouth, before opening the door.

"Move bitch," Willow shoves past me locking the door.

"I'm in painnnn." I can hear her suffering in the bathroom.

She's lactose intolerant; I told her the quiche from this morning's breakfast had cheese but when it comes to food, she tends to not care about her lactose intolerance.

Suddenly I hear. sound coming from the window.

Just in fucking time—Draco's owl.

I sent him an owl requesting for a meeting to discuss some of the terms on the contract.

I've been reading and re-reading the contract since last night, highlighting and starring things that I either didn't know of or want to modify.

This isn't just regular control. This is _literal_ control. From what I eat, when I sleep, what I wear, to when I cum.

I need this. I need him to push me so far, I can't take it anymore.

We've been owling each other back and forth today. I thought he'd be in class, but he didn't show up again. Even Blaise and Theo don't know where he is.

I open the envelope, reading the letter.

**_I'll be back later tonight._ **

**_Get ready, I'm taking you somewhere._ **

**_Bring the contract and any questions you have._ **

**_I hope you've been reading..._ **

**_Your Owner._ **

Oh, I have _a lot_ of questions to ask him.

Draco gave me a book about what exactly the whole Dominant—Submissive thing is. There's more to it than I thought.

_The dominant leads, protects, and guides the submissive. The submissive is meant to serve and please their dominant._

_The Submissive accepts the Dominant as their master, and is the property of the Dominant._

_Property_. I'm going to be fucking property.

I better be broken by the end of this.

The more I read, the more I realize how controlling this _really_ is.

 **_I speak, you obey rule:_ ** _whatever the dominant wants, the dominant gets. The submissive must obey every command, and satisfy the dominant's ever desire._

There are a couple photos; someone tied in loops on a ceiling, and someone with a shock collar on their neck. 

Is he going to do that to me?

I send him another letter.

**_Yes, I've been reading... You need help._ **

**_Psychological help._ **

**_Tell me where we're going so I can dress accordingly._ **

**_Also, you're not my owner. Until I sign that contract, refrain from signing like that._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_The girl you're obsessed with._ **

Around an hour later, I receive another letter.

**_You need as much psychological help as I do._ **

**_We can go to therapy together._ **

**_I'm not_ ** **_telling you_ ** **_where_ ** **_we're going._ ** **_You said a "meeting" so I trust you can find something appropriate and_ ** **_ modest _ ** **_to wear._ **

**_And I will address you as I like._ **

**_Keep reading your book,_ **

**_The guy who's obsessed with you._ **

"Asya, I need more toilet paper!" Fucking hell.

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

Draco wrote me another letter telling me to meet him in the courtyard at eight.

I don't know what to wear. He didn't give me much of a hint to the occasion, other than quoting my use of the word _meeting_.

So... I'm wearing a tight grey, long-sleeved, ribbed shirt, tucked into my faux leather mini skirt. I hope the slit exposing my thigh doesn't break his _modest_ rule. 

I'm choosing not to bring my daggers today. It's Draco, I can handle him. 

I keep my makeup minimal—mascara and rather than a red lip, some nude-pink gloss.

Red is a power colour. Today I'll be losing that power, so I don't deserve to wear it.

Before I leave, I scrunch some leave-in hair cream in my curls.

Or maybe I should've straightened it....

No, I don't care. This isn't a date.

Ew, why am I overthinking? Just shut up and leave Asya.

I put on my black ankle boot heels and dark grey wool coat, leaving the buttons undone before exiting my dorm room.

It's almost eight and I'm sitting on a bench in the courtyard. For once, I'm actually early to something he's called me to.

Suddenly I hear a _crack_ sound, when I see Draco who's apparated from god knows where. 

His eyes meet mine and I feel an overwhelming, warm sensation creep within me.

He tilts his head. A smirk creeps upon his face, while he trails his eyes down my figure.

I take this moment to glance at what he's wearing. A suit—all black, paired with a black handkerchief, a crisp black collared button-up shirt, and a black tie.

Perfect, I'm fucking underdressed.

"Are we going to the Met Gala? What's with the suit and tie?"

He looks _hot_ —there, I said it.

He walks towards me. "I had a meeting." He replies, coolly. 

"A meeting? Voldy's meeting isn't today?"

"You _do_ realize I have other responsibilities other than that, right? It's for my father's business."

His father has a business other than being Voldy's slave?

He glances over my outfit again, biting the inside of his cheek. " _That's_ modest?"

He better be joking...

I hate how with one sentence, he can get to my fucking head.

"Yes, this _is_ modest. I even wore some stockings so it doesn't show any skin," I pull my skirt up a bit, showing him my black, over the knee, mesh stockings.

His face instantly goes paler than it already is; his gaze darkening while he swallows a lump in his throat.

The fucks wrong with him? 

He looks like I showed him a bloody tampon.

"You haven't signed the contract yet, right?" His tone is quiet and calm, while he keeps his eyes fixated on my stockings.

"No..."

He clears his throat, immediately pulling my skirt back down to cover the slit, "don't do that again."

 _Stockings_. I'll keep note of that the next time I want to shut him up.

He looks at the black folder in my hand. "What's with the folder?"

"It's carrying the contract."

He sighs shaking his head with an amused expression. "Okay, _Miss. Karkaroff._ "

I can't help but snort out a laugh, "Miss. Karkaroff?"

"You asked for a meeting, yeah? And you brought a folder, so it fits the scenario." He reaches his hand out with what looks like a mini pink rubber duckie. 

"That's cute," I snort out, holding back my laugher. "Is that your new pet after you killed the ferret I kindly gifted you?"

He rolls his eyes, "it's a portkey, now shut up and touch it, unless you want to be stuck here when I transport."

I sigh, disregarding his snappy tone, before putting my hand on it before we transport.

Iron bars.

Bright amber lights.

And a full view of the city from above.

I turn my gaze from the beautiful view, looking over to see him already staring at me. "When you told me to dress modest, I thought you'd be taking me to church, not the Eiffel tower."

I take my time to look around, taking in the view. 

There's no one here...

"I figured you'd like the Eiffel Tower since your notebook is filled with random sketches—the Eiffel tower being one of them."

I snap my head to him, looking at him in disbelief.

I swear if he went through my shit again, he's a dead man.

"Wait, how do you kno—"

"When all I can hear in class is the fucking scratching sounds of your quill, it's impossible not to be curious and look over your shoulder."

I just hum in response, too busy staring out at the city. I've been to a lot of places, but I've never been to Paris. My fath—the man who raised me, never liked France.

"Why is it so...empty?" Isn't this supposed to be a big tourist attraction or something?

"Money and power, Karkaroff." He smiles, slightly. "It's mine now. I wanted to make sure no one would bother our... _meeting_."

He just bought the fucking Eiffel Tower like he's ordering a happy meal from McDonalds.

Who the fuck does that?

"You have all night to look at the view, come." He guides me to an all-glass restaurant on the Eiffel tower. 

It too is _empty_.

"Bonjour Monsieur Malfoy" The young garcon greets him. "Madam" he nods to me, "this way, please." He shows us to a glass table by the window. 

I feel Draco's hand hovering over the small of my back, like he's about to rest his hand on it, and that's when I feel a tightness in my chest.

But he doesn't...

I take off my jacket, hanging it on the back of my chair, sitting across from Draco.

"You must come to this place often, _Monsieur Malfoy._ " I repeat the garcons words. 

He probably brings other girls here too...

"I own it," he mumbles casually, like it's no big deal. At this point, what doesn't he own?

"Have you eaten anything?" He asks me, opening the menu.

"Nope, I just had tea this morning." I open the menu in front of me, reading through a list of food and drinks—all French. 

What the hell is this stuff?

I can speak a couple languages, but when it comes to French, I'm a lost cause.

"Only tea?" His voice brings my attention to him. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Not yet... I'll let you know when it comes time." I smile briefly at him.

He glares at me with all seriousness. "I'm being serious." 

So am I. 

"I'm not letting you leave this restaurant until you've finished at least one full plate of food. So, look at the menu and pick something to eat." He says sternly, shifting his gaze back to the menu.

"I'm surprised you'd think that I wouldn't eat. I'm a cow, remember?" I smile, innocently batting my eyes at him. "I won't stop eating until I've gained a thousand pounds, so don't fret." 

He puts the menu down, squinting his eyes, before a sly smirk grows on his lips. "What's that...? Did I offend you yesterday?"

Nope. You absolutely did not. It's not like I was fat-shamed or anything. 

"Me? Offended?" I gasp sarcastically, "never." 

I prop my elbows on the table, resting my head on my hands, "why? Did you do something to offend me?"

"I don't know," he tilts his head, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back his smugness. "Did I?"

"Nope." I go back to 'reading' the menu that I can't read.

A few moments later, he decides to open that mouth of his again. "You know... for this contract thing to work, we need to communicate."

I peak my head through menu, covering half my face while my eyes pierce through his. "I _am_ communicating."

"Mhm, you're being snappy with me... I can hear it in your tone."

"My tone?"

"When you're in a snappy mood, your tone fluctuates excessively and you have an accent."

I snap the menu shut, a little too loud, frowning at him. "I _do not_ have an accent. And I'm not snappy."

He holds back his laughter, "there it is again." He drinks his wine, and I see the glass fogging up from his breathy laugh.

"I am calm." I enunciate each word, scowling at him.

"Sure, you are." He mocks my enunciations. "What is that? British English mixed with..."

"Bulgarian." I slip out. He looks slightly surprised that I even answered. 

I'm just as surprised.

"Bulgarian..." He nods, thoughtfully. "So... you admit you have an accent..." His lips twitches in amusement.

"I'm not admitting to anything..." He rolls his eyes at my response.

I sigh, "okay maybe I still have some— _accent_ from when I was younger..."

"I thought you'd have a Swedish accent, since Durmstrang's in Sweden."

"I started school late so English isn't my first language, Bulgarian is. And most of Durmstrang's professors generally speak British English, so that's what I learned."

Why am I talking to _him_ about this?

And why is he actually listening?

"Just don't bring it up—the accent. I hate it."

"Don't." He looks down at the napkin he's playing with. "It's cute."

Yeah righ—

Cute?

He snaps his gaze from the napkin, to me, his eyes slightly widening in realization.

We just stare at one another, silently, both swallowing at the same time.

"The menu, " I clear my throat, changing the subject, "we haven't ordered something to eat yet."

I see his tense figure, relax a little. "Right—the menu... What do you want to eat?"

I don't understand anything that's written in the menu. "Just pick something for me."

He gestures his fingers at the garcon, and he comes to our table. "The usual for me, and canard à la coriandre et choux de Bruxelles caramélisés [duck with coriander and caramelized brussels sprouts] for her."

What?

The garcon nods, walking away. "Well, aren'tyou are full of surprises... Your accent was perfect."

"I'm of French heritage, and I lived in France for a short period of time, so I caught onto some of their dialect."

"I knew your last name sounded French... _mal foi_ , meaning _'bad faith'_ or _'unfaithful...'_ You definitely live up to your name."

He glares at me through slit eyes. "Mhmm, and Karkaroff... abbreviated is _Kark_ , meaning _'to die'_ or _'burdened with trouble.'_ Sounds about _you_."

Our narrowed gazes are unbreakable, and we both hold back the urge to smile in amusement. 

"Alright," He gestures to the folder on the table hand. "Lay me with your questions and concerns." 

I let out an exaggerated sigh, taking the contract out of the folder. "The rules; the Submissive will obey to any instructions given by the Dominant, immediately without hesitation."

"Yes," He perks up a brow, "what about it?"

"That's a hyperbole, right?"

He drinks his wine, looking me dead in the eye, before placing the glass back on the table. "No."

_No?_

I spin my red pen between my fingers, looking at him through narrowed eyes. "So, if you asked me to suck your dick in the middle of class, I'd have to do it?"

"First of all, I wouldn't _ask_ you, I'd _order_ you. Second of all, yes, that's the point of being a submissive. You are submitting yourself to me; surrendering yourself and your life to me."

And _this_ is when I come to the realization of what I'm _actually_ getting myself into.

Why do things always hit me last minute?

He observes my overwhelmed expression closely, sighing, "don't feel like you need to consent to _everything_ I want you to do. Sometimes I can get a little carried away, so whenever you feel uncomfortable or don't want to do something, just say your safe word."

"About that safe word..." I flip through the contract to find it, "strawberry?"

He smirks into his wine glass, taking another drink from it.

"I don't know if I want to be saying strawberry while you're doing god knows what to me. It just... ruins the _mood_."

"That's what safe words are meant to do." He places the glass on the table, " _ruin the mood_."

"Alright..." I shuffle through the pages. "Going back to the rules section, _relationships_. So, if I'm submitting myself to you and the only person I can be involved with _is_ you, that means you can date still date? Because if that's the case, that's going to be _really_ weir—"

"No." He cuts me off, "it doesn't. Once you sign that contract, and agree to be my submissive, I will be devoted to you and only you."

Mhmm, knowing that makes me feel... content.

"And I don't date, so that won't be a concern..."

He doesn't date... Was it not _him_ that _dated_ Parkinson or were those just rumours?

He passes me a folded paper from across the table.

"What's this?" I take it from his hand.

"Test results, so you don't have to worry about me giving you any STD's."

I peak through it to see that they're all negative.

I'm surprised; his body count is probably greater than the UK's population.

I fold it, putting it aside. "I get regular check-ups and all my recent tests have come clear. But... do you still expect me to take one too?" 

He shrugs, "you can if you want to, but if not that's fine. I trust your word." 

He trusts my word.

Trust.

 _Me_.

Thats new.

I look through the rules on the contract, continuing. "Rule number two, _health_. Eight hours of sleep, minimum eight glasses of water, and eat three full course meals, of _your_ choosing. You know that's not realistic; I barely eat one meal a day, I'm lucky if I get three hours of sleep, and at times, I forget water even exists."

"I'll have everything ready for you, all you have to do is eat and drink what I prepare. Schedule yourself accordingly so you can fit in a full eight hours. If not, then minimum six hours. And if you can't make a schedule, I'll make one for you."

He'll _make_ one for me? I didn't think he'd take this whole thing _this_ seriously. 

"You're rarely at school, how are you going to prepare everything for me?"

"If I say I'll have it prepared, then I'll have it prepared. Don't look into it too much." His tone is harsh, and I can tell he's growing impatient.

Too bad.

"I assumed you'd be back in class today since we _fought_ it out yesterday, but you weren't. You don't need to avoid me at school." I say in a playful tone, but I'm very much serious. Not knowing where he is and why he's not regularly at school only feeds onto my curiosity.

"I said it yesterday, and I'll say it again. I'm not avoiding you. I'm just..." He clears his throat. "I have things to do, that's all." He gestures to the contract, "continue."

 _Things to do_... very descriptive.

"Section 15. 22, the Submissive cannot look directly into the eyes of the Dominant unless told otherwise and will maintain a quiet and respectful presence for the Dominant." I look up at him, tilting my head in a _are you serious_ , way. "Why?"

"I want you to be timid, and obedient. If you keep maintaining eye contact with me all hours of the day with that _look_ that you give people, I'll have the constant urge to rip off your clothes."

My breath hitches at the image of him ripping my clothes off.

"That _look_?" I furrow my brows, trying to understand what he means by that. "What look?"

He watches me closely, his expression guarded. "I don't know how to describe it. It's like...you look at people like you're analyzing them. Like you know everything about them."

Thats because I do... most of the time. But him—him I can never understand.

I tilt my head, observing him with _that_ _look_ —whatever that means."You don't like being analyzed?"

"No." He responds seriously.

"But what if I _do_ look directly at you? I'm not used to averting my gaze from people, so _do_ expect it to happen."

"Then there will be consequences" He responds, bluntly. "It's all in the contract; follow my rules, I'll reward you, and if you don't, I'll punish you."

Well... looks like I'm going to do _a lot_ of rule breaking.

I skim through a couple pages, remembering something I read in the book he gave me. "Are you going to collar me?"

He raises his brows, looking taken back, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"I read it in the book; collars, leashes, stuff like that?"

"No." His response is sudden. "I don't like leashes or collars, so I won't use it on you." 

Well, that's one less thing to worry about.

We spend a couple more minutes discussing the contract. "When you say fire play, do you mean lighting _me_ on fire or lighting the room on fire? I'm a little confused."

He smirks, "well... there's different kinds... Its best if I _show_ you..."

It's sounds like it would hurt... I need that pain. "As long as you don't burn my eyebrows off, we'll keep it."

He nods at my words, holding back a smile.

"Butt plugs?" I look up at him, watching him bite the inside of his cheek. I feel like a child asking the stupidest questions. "You are _not_ sticking _anything_ up my butt."

"Anything?" He perks up a brow.

"Anything." My eyes trail down the page, stopping at the pink highlighted term. "What are Ben Wa Balls?"

"Monsieur Malfoy, a pleasure to see you again" a waitress with dark brown, coyly hair comes to our table with our plates. Her eyes are _glued_ on him as a blush creeps through her milk chocolate complexion.

"Likely, Helena," he nods, keeping his eyes on me while I watch the girl through narrowed eyes.

Helena? I look at her name tag—that's definitely her name. Since when does he refer to people by their first name?

"Let me refill your wine for you." She takes the bottle of red wine, leaning over the table with her fucking tits that barely fit in her white collared-button up, right in front of his face, pouring it—slowly.

My eyes flicker between her, the wine, and his eyes to see where he's looking—right at me, smugly.

I quickly avert my gaze, focusing back on the wine that's taking a lifetime to pour.

How much longer is this going to take? He's not getting baptized in the wine.

I pry the bottle from her hand, placing it aside. "Thank you," I say with a false smile plastered on my face.

"Bon appétit," she smiles at him, strutting away, swinging her hips exaggeratedly. She has nice hips too. Draco _loves_ wide hips, and thick thighs. I'm sure he's enjoying this...

I hear him clearing his throat, taking my focus away from the girl and onto him.

Why is he smiling?

I narrow my eyes at him. "Something funny?"

He purses his lips, shaking his head, "no not at all, please." He gestures to the papers, "continue." 

"Page ten, vaginal and anal fisting," I see his eyes spark at the mention of them. "No."

He tics his tongue on the roof of his mouth, crossing it out.

"Ball gag, no. Suspension bondage, no, I am not letting you hang me from a ceiling."

"Alright," he crosses it out.

"Clothing." I rest the pen beside me, watching him crack his knuckles, looking up from the paper at me.

"What about _clothing_?" He narrows his eyes. He knows my exact complaint.

"Dress modestly?" I read, holding back my laughter. "What do you define as modest? A big poufy dress from the Victorian era? Or maybe a paper bag?"

His eyes trail over my outfit, "what you're wearing tonight—it's... it'll do—except for that slit."

"I'm capable enough to choose my own clothing."

His eyes harden momentarily. "Too bad, you're not wearing anything without consulting me."

Consulting him? I'm not his submissive...Yet... But even then, my clothes are fine, there's no need for him to control what I wear.

"Too bad," I repeat after him, placing my elbow on the table while resting my head on my hand. "You can bend your _sick_ rules for me."

His eyes glint with mischief; they're dark and smoldering. "Or I can just bend you."

I swallow, instinctively.

 _Calm and collected, calm and collected_ ; is all I can repeat in my head.

He places both hands on the table, folding his long, slender fingers over each other, making the veins on his hands pop out. "Any other questions?" 

He's staring at me in a way that turns my stomach inside out, and takes my breath away.

I struggle to swallow, shaking my head.

"Yes" He uses two fingers to loosen his tie, "or no?"

Fingers—two fingers... That's enough to drive my thoughts to the pits of hell. 

"No." I say, softly. His eyes flicker to my lips, when I notice I'm unintentionally biting the corner of my lip.

I immediately release it, bringing the wine glass to my lips. If he keeps looking at me like that, I think I'll choke.

A sinister smirk forms on his face, as he looks between me, the contract and the pen I'm fiddling with in my hands, while he too drinks from his glass.

I look at his hand, tightly gripping onto his knife, as he cuts into his steak, forcefully. The whole time, his eyes don't leave mine.

"You're playing with your food." His voice brings my attention to the brussel sprouts I'm shifting on my plate with my fork. "Don't tell me you don't like brussel sprouts." He stifles a laugh.

I don't.

I put my fork down. "Can you have them?"

He looks at me in astonishment.

_Can you have them?_

_Idiot, Asya._

_What is he, a trash bin?_

"Never mind, I'll eat them." I put one in my mouth and instantly scrunch my face in disgust.

It tastes like burnt vomit.

I think I'm going to throw up.

He shakes his head, with a hint of a smile on his face, " _just pick something for me,_ " he quotes me, mimicking my voice.

I _do not_ sound like that...

He takes my plate, switching my brussel sprouts out for his potatoes. "Eat these then... Unless you hate potatoes too."

I struggle to swallow the bitter legume, forcing out an answer, "I love them."

Ew, why did I say that so enthusiastically?

He nods his head, "I'm sure you do..." He bites back a smile, looking back down at his plate, continuing to eat.

We're eating. Like actually eating.

There are no shattering plates or flying shards of glass.

We're calm.

Almost like a... _date_.

Is _this_ what dates are like? 

No, dates are for people who like each other. We hate each other. This is simply just a meeting to discuss the contracts terms.

"You're still playing with your food," I look up from my plate. He's gazing at me with an unfathomable expression.

"I'm just not that hungry," I shrug, putting my fork and knife down, moving my plate aside.

"If you don't like the food, just tell me, I can order you something else."

"No, it's fine, the foods not the problem."

He tenses slightly, pausing for a moment, scowling at me.

Maybe I should've worded that differently...

He puts his fork down, folding his hands together on the table, "then what _is_ the _problem_?"

"Nothing _,"_ I give him a blunt response, and drink my wine hoping that he won't ask any more questions. 

This is all so... different. Sitting here, with him in the Eiffel Tower, discussing a sex contract about surrendering myself to him.

What sane person would do that?

Then again, I never _was_ sane, but around him... I've lost my sense of judgement. 

He releases a tense exhale, "look I understand if you've changed your mind about this whole contract thing... Yesterday was a... _tense day_ , so it could've been an in the moment decision..." 

He's staring at me, gauging my reaction.

"No," I respond suddenly. "It's not that—the contract, I'm fine with it. It's just... Are you sure that by the end of this I'll be hurt—physically and emotionally?"

His burning gaze softens, until he's unreadable. "If that's what you want..." He says simply.

That _is_ what I want. He's the only one that can do it.

Once I'm hurt, I can let out these stupid emotions and start back up from square one, as a new and improved Asya.

He leans back in his seat, watching me for a brief moment. 

He's giving me _that look_ that he said I do. Like he's analyzing me. Trying to figure me out. "My question is... _why_ do you want me to hurt you?"

Because you're the only one that can do it. You're the only one that can make me _feel_. 

"You have your kinks, I have mine..." I shrug off his answer, not giving him too much context. "Why do _you_ have a sex contract?"

"Karkaroff..." He leans back into the table; his voice is husky. "The things I'm going to do to you... they're not... _typical_." 

Not _typical_. What does that mean?

"That's why I have a contract that explicitly states certain rules and boundaries."

I'll have to dig into his childhood later on because this whole thing is sick, twisted... and somewhat hot.

But still, regardless, it's not normal.

But then again... I'm not normal...

Wow, we really are fucked up.

"It's all about trust—which I know you don't have for me, but I—" He stumbles over his words, tensing up in front of me as he struggles to get them out. "I want to earn it... So that you're comfortable..."

Hearing him of all people speak to me like this... It's surprising...

He wants to earn it? For my comfort? My comfort shouldn't matter to him. I want him to hurt me, not comfort me.

"I want to feel pain, you want to provide comfort... that's an interesting mix." I'm curious on how that'll play out.

"I'll give you the pain you want, but it'll make me feel more at ease knowing you're comfortable around me during this whole thing."

Why?

"I am... that's why I'm doing this with _you_ and not someone else." I see his brow crease, before it softens, leaving him with a questioning look.

I don't trust him completely. But I trust that he can make me feel pain... That's about the only trust he'll get from me.

We talk for a couple minutes; a little about the contract, a little about the task—which still has no progress.

"Cream?" I gesture to the crème fraîche between us.

He almost chokes on his steak, gulping down his wine to wash it down. "What?"

"Do you still want your cream?" I lift up the small glass bowl crème fraîche, showing it to him. 

"No." His reply is instant, and stern. "You can have it." He watches the crème fraîche in my hand, as I move it towards my plate, spooning it onto my potatoes.

"Shit—sorry, I'm a little messy," I refer to the crème fraîche that I _accidentally_ got on my finger.

I might as well have a little fun with him... what's he going to do?

I can feel him bouncing his leg desperately under the table as I bring my cream coaxed finger to my lips, gently sucking it off my index finger.

His eyes are glued to my mouth and the only thing I can focus on is how I would do anything to know what's going through his mind right now.

"So..." I put the empty glass of crème fraîche aside, bringing his attention back from my mouth to my eyes. "Do you take all your potential subs to the same restaurant?"

He smirks, "only the ones with curly brown hair, a stubborn attitude and flushed cheeks."

Flushed cheeks?!

Curly brown hair...

That fucking waitress... I knew it.

"Mhm, the waitress girl, _Helena_ , was it? Yes... her cheeks were very flushed."

He narrows his eyes, and a sinister smile grows on his face. "Were they? I didn't notice, too busy paying attention to _your_ flushed cheeks."

My what?

My cheeks are flushed?

I disregard his comment, drowning my insides with red wine.

His smile grows, "you're blushing."

I'm not.

I'm not... right?

"I don't blush." I respond quickly.

He props his elbow on the table, leaning into the table. "Your cheeks are getting redder."

"It's just the wine." I respond coolly. 

"Mhmm," he drinks his wine. "Or it's the adrenaline." He mumbles, patting the cotton napkin on the corners of his mouth, but I can see him smiling behind it.

And right on time, the Helena girl comes over, interrupting this embarrassing conversation, "can I help you both to some desserts?"

"Any dessert _Miss. Karkaroff_?" He tilts his head, watching me carefully.

"May I please have a crème brûlée? But could you also bring some whipped cream with it?"

She gives me a strange look, writing it down. "And for yourself Monsieur Malfoy?"

"That'll be all." He speaks sternly, with his eyes still on mine. She nods, walking away.

Why isn't he eating? Great, now I feel guilty for ordering dessert. 

Why do _I_ feel guilty for ordering dessert?

Fuck it, I'm eating, I don't care.

"Whipped cream with your crème brûlée?" Draco perks up a brow.

"Yes... what about it?" I spin the leftover wine in my glass.

"The whole point of having a crème brûlée is to enjoy the rich custard with the caramelized sugar. Whipped cream ruins the whole thing."

"Whipped cream brings out the vanilla flavour." I brush off some fluff on my shirt, "I like vanilla.

He watches me momentarily. "Don't like it too much..." He speaks lowly, pinning his eyes through mine. "The contract's anything but _vanilla_."

Just the reminder is enough to make me feel the muscles in my lower stomach clench.

I collect myself, responding. "You mean the contract I just signed?"

His eyes spark, "what?"

"I signed the contract." I smile at him. "See," I show him the contract; empty without a signature... 

"That's fucking hilarious." He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"What?" I look at the contract, gasping. "Oh no, what happened to the signature?"

"You're being annoying."

**[Umm... This song put me in the _mood_...]**

"Good." I smile. "I like annoying you."

"Don't play with me" He says slowly in a dark tone.

My blood heats instantly, and my subconscious tells me to annoy him even more.

I cross one leg over the other, slightly brushing against his leg—enough to hear his breath heave.

His grey eyes burn with intensity. 

I look at him innocently, spinning my empty wine glass on the table by the stem, between two fingers. "Whatever do you mean?" 

He clicks his tongue, dragging his chair in closer into the table, so my crossed leg is just between his. His eyes stare intently into my mine. "I know what you're trying to do..." 

"Mhm." I hum, brushing my leg against his again. "What's that?"

The corner of his mouth twitches; his eyes challenge me from across the table. "If you think just because we're in public, I can't do anything to you... think again."

My eyes have been calculating the distance between us since the moment we arrived. If I'm correct, he's just under a meter away. I could easily grab him by his tie in just under a second...

I gesture my fingers in a come-hither motion, wanting him to lean closer to the table so no one can hear us. 

He narrows his eyes, hesitating, before complying. "You know this _beautiful_ short skirt that I'm wearing?" He furrows his brows, looking confused. "I _really_ hope I haven't bent over at all tonight... after all... I'm not wearing any underwear."

His elbow knocks his fork on the floor, making a loud clashing noise as he coughs, abruptly.

I tilt my head, looking at him innocently, watching his cough die down.

His eyes bore into mine.

If looks could kill; then I'd be on the floor, dead right now.

All he does is nod.

His nod is enough to tell me that he's going to make me regret this conversation.

A couple minutes later the waitress brings a trolly with my crème brûlée and an extra bowl of whipped cream.

He lifts the crème brûlée and whipped cream, putting them in front of me. "Eat."

I look at him, slightly bewildered, "are you not going to have some dessert?"

His eyes trail down my figure, while the tips of his fingers skim over the rim of his wine glass.

"Helena," he gestures his two fingers for the waitress to come over, not breaking eye contact with me. "You can all leave early tonight. I'll lock up."

She nods, and a couple minutes later, all the staff exit the restaurant, leaving just Draco, and I, on the top of the Eiffel Tower. 

Alone.

Why are they leaving?

"Karkaroff..." He tilts his head to one side, running his index finger across his lower lip. "You _are_ my dessert."

_Calm and collected._

He leans into the table holding his hands together on the table, "have you ever been..." I feel a rush of goosebumps as the soft material of his pants brushes against my leg, " _fucked..._ on the Eiffel tower?"

My stomach is somersaulting.

He slides our plates to the side of the table, making room between the both of us.

I take my pen, bringing it between my lips to avoid biting it. "Malfoy..."

He leans into the table, pressing the tips of his fingers from each hand, together. "Karkaroff..."

I tap the tip of the pen on the contract, "I haven't signed it yet."

" _Yet_."

I take a spoonful of my crème brûlée, " _yet_ could be four years from now _yet_."

His eyes glint in mischief. 

He gets up from his seat, leaning over the table so his face is inches away from mine, "I've waited months for you, what's a couple years?"

He takes the spoon out of my hand, before it can even reach my mouth, eating the crème brûlée.

The things he has me doing; I can't even recognize myself anymore.

I lean in taking the spoon out of his mouth, placing the crème brûlée back on the trolly, and gently lick the sweet custard from the corner of his lip, pulling away slowly, "I doubt you'd be able to bear waiting that long."

His fingers gently entwine through my hair, fisting it, keeping me close to him, "I can bear it," his voice darkens, "I'm just not sure _you_ can."

I'm not sure I can either.

I pull him from his tie, letting my lips graze over the shell of his ear, "next time you decide to _steal_ my crème brûlée... I want you to eat it off of _me_ , not my spoon."

I can hear him huff out a laugh, as he pulls away slightly, brushing the tip of his nose against mine, looking down at my lips, "or I'll eat _you_."

I really hope he doesn't make me regret this...

I pull away, pushing the contract towards him. He tilts his head, furrowing his brows in confusion.

When he looks down at it, his confused expression turns blank before a heated blush that I've never seen before, creeps on his pale complexion. "Did you just—"

"Mhm." I hum. "I signed it while you were choking." I hold back a laugh. I've never seen him so... in shock.

His eyes look back at me from the _signed_ contract, as I reach my hand out from across the table, "pleasure doing business with you."

He stares at me hungrily under the dim, amber lights in the restaurant, as he stretches his hand out, and an instant flutter creeps inside me.

We both release a breath, once our hands entwine, like we've that's been holding it in since the beginning of dinner.

His eyes spark, "smart woman," he whispers under his breath.

" _My_ smart woman," he yanks on my hand, crashing our lips with one another.

A passionate, lust-filled, _dirty_ kiss. One that tells me I'm not going to be able to walk for at least a week.

We both dominate each other, as our tongues graze, before I let out a breathy moan into his mouth when he grips onto my waist, digging his fingertips into me before he pushes me against the glass window.

"I'm going to destroy you," he mumbles against my lips, lifting my skirt up, while his hand slides up my inner thigh. 

"You really weren't lying when you said you weren't wearing underwear..." He breathes out, squeezing my arse.

"Would I ever lie to you?" I whisper, in a sultry voice.

Our noses brush against one another. "Would you?" He whispers back.

I shake my head, feeling his lips brush against mine, "never."

"Never," he repeats, brushing his fingers against my pussy, making me arch my back. "Good."

I feel two fingers slowly move into me, making my breath shudder. "Fuck—you're soaking." He slowly rubs me in circular motions, making me bite down on my lip to supress my sounds, until I taste my metallic blood.

"Don't" He pulls his fingers away, "bite that lip." He drags his fingers along my bloody lip, making me taste myself, "I want all of Paris to hear you tonight."

He moves his hand back down, caressing my folds slowly, building up the tension between my legs. "Say it—say you understand."

"I—" He instantly plunges his two fingers into me, making me gasp out, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck.

"What was that?" His low voice vibrates against my ear, arousing me more. "I don't think I heard you."

"I—un—" I cut myself off with a moan as I feel his cold rings inside me, clashing with my sensitive clit every couple thrusts.

"I understand" I breathe out, before I feel his hand wrap around my throat, pushing my head away from his chest and onto the glass.

He looks down at me, as the bright yellow Eiffel Tower lights reflect off of his hungry grey eyes. "I want you looking at me while you fuck my fingers."

He quickens his pace, moving them in a _come-hither_ motion.

"So—good" I moan tipping my head back against the glass. His fingers work like magic—I can already feel myself pulsating against his touch.

He's so good—too good. It makes me fear that I'll never get enough.

A devilish smirk grows on his face, "look at you, falling apart just by fucking my fingers."

He plunges his fingers inside me a couple times, then rubs my clit, repeating this motion quicker and quicker, until I feel myself heating up, "just like—that" I moan out.

"Like what?" He whispers, nuzzling his nose next to mine, "like this?" He repeats the motion, gradually increasing his speed, until he presses down at a short-fast pace, slightly vibrating his fingers against me.

"Fuck—yes" I move my hips a little, wanting to feel his fingers deep inside me. He watches my desperation closely, pulling away with a smug look.

He puts his finger to my mouth, "open." He commands, and as the submissive I fucking signed to be, I obey, letting him slowly slip his two fingers into my mouth.

He watches my mouth carefully, observing how much I can take, until his fingers reach the back of my throat, making my eyes water.

"Suck." He orders, pulling his fingers away, little by little, as I suck on them, while I slowly creep my hand down to his bulge.

He instantly grabs my hands, pinning then to the cold glass. "Did I say you could touch me?"

He moves his hand to my jaw, lifting it up between his fingers to look up at him. "I want my dessert now." He growls in a low tone.

Instantly, he pulls the table cloth off of the table, letting the glasses and plates shatter on the floor, before I'm lifting from my waist and sitting me on the edge of the table, placing his hands on each side of me, leaning in over the table so our faces are a breath away.

"I want you to do something for me." His tone is dark and demanding—like him.

He takes the crème brûlée from the trolly, spooning the thick cream. "You're going to taste every bit of this dessert," he moves the spoon towards my mouth, wanting me to open; I do.

"While I'm going to taste every bit of _you_." He pulls the spoon away, gently pecking my lips while his tongue peaks out, cleaning the thick custard from them.

He tilts his head, watching me carefully. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." I reply, breathily.

He leans into the table more, brushing his lips against the shell of my ear, "tonight, you call me... _Monsieur_."

He pulls back, sweeping the tip of his nose against mine, "is that clear?"

I hate this.

"Yes... _Monsieur_." I keep my tone quiet; this whole submissive thing is too degrading for me. And what's even worse, is that I like it.

He slides me back on the table, so I'm not longer on the edge, and I hear him huff out a laugh, mumbling "good girl," before moving the trolly closer to me.

"Go on, eat your crème brûlée." He gestures, looking down at me, sinfully, when I notice him grabbing the whipped cream off the trolly.

I take a spoonful of the thick, pale yellow custard. Not noticing that my skirt is riding up. 

"Karkaroff," he breathes out, his cold hands grip my thighs, slowly spreading my legs, while his eyes flicker between my wetness and the spoon in my hand. "Don't just stare at the fucking spoon—eat."

I swallow a lump in my throat, moving the spoon slowly to my lips, before I hear him ripping my stockings, and a cold feeling instantly takes over my sense.

The feeling of him using a cold spoon, dragging whipped cream from my ankle—up my leg—to my inner thigh. 

The coldness of the whipped cream gives me goosebumps, when I suddenly feel his tongue dragging up the trail of whipped cream he left on my leg. 

He gives me small, gentle licks, taking his time, watching me fall apart at his touch. 

He goes higher, and higher, stopping where the trail of cream ends—my inner thigh, where his mark is.

As I open my mouth, and the cream touches my tongue, his tongue touches _my_ cream.

"Holy shit," I throw my head back, unable to finish what's on the spoon.

He pulls away, "I said—eat. I don't want you to stop eating, understand?"

"Yes... _Monsieur_." He grins in satisfaction.

"I want you to watch me devour _my_ _dessert_ , while you enjoy yours. Don't take your eyes off of me, and don't stop eating or _I'll_ stop eating." He lowers his head between my legs again, keeping his eyes stuck to mine, and his hands molded to my thighs.

The spoon slowly moves to my mouth again, and his tongue moves slowly to my pussy.

For each bit of the crème brûlée that gets in my mouth, his tongue flicks over my clit—gently, making me squirm under his touch.

"How does it taste, Karkaroff?" He mumbles against me, sending the vibrations of his low voice, jolting through my body.

"Fuck—good." I breathe out, trying my best to continue eating.

"Mhmm." He hums against me, "what does is taste like? Describe it to me," he continues to give me small licks, teasing me with his tongue.

"It—it tastes like," his tongue licks a long stripe from the bottom of my folds to my desperately aching clit, making my breath jolt. "Like Vanilla." I roll my eyes back as he does it again, this time, sucking gently on my clit, making me moan.

"What else Karkaroff?" he pecks my clit, flicking his tongue back and fucking forth, making me forget my entire train of thought.

He looks at my spoon, warning me to continue to eating.

I place the cold, cream coated spoon in my mouth, going for another taste. "And c-caramel," I struggle to get the words out when he dives his tongue into my folds, _devouring_ me, literally. "Fucking—caramel."

He sucks on my clit more intensely, before stroking it with the tip of his tongue in gentle circular motions, "I taste it Karkaroff, keep going—what else?"

"A slight—bitter—" I gasp out when he moves two fingers to my wetness, now stroking me with his tongue and his fingers. "Bitterness of" I feel his fingers sliding into me, while he coaxes me with his mouth, "sugar!" I whimper out, watching him smile into me, "burnt—sugar."

"Mhm, I can taste the sugar," he moans into my wet pussy before pulling back, licking his lips with a groan. "I want to taste _your_ sugar on my tongue."

He pries my legs open—wider, "You're going to let me taste that delicious sugar and cum in my mouth when I say you can."

He pecks my inner thigh, "keep eating," he places a peck on my wetness, making me jolt.

"Keep watching," He pushes me back more against the table, bending my legs so he has full access.

"And if you disobey," he lightly flicks my clit, making my breath hitch. "You'll deal with the consequences," he snarls in a dark tone before spitting on my pussy, licking a thick strip against me, up to my clit.

I buck my hips as a reaction, moaning "more," while trying my best to eat the crème brûlée through the intense ripples I feel in my lower stomach.

He moves his tongue back and forth—faster—and faster—and faster.

I can't take it anymore.

"Yes! Holy shit—keep going it's so—" I moan _good_ , and my reactions only motivate him more.

His tongue—he's making me fall apart on his fucking tongue.

"You're not allowed to cum," he murmurs against me, "not until you've finished your dessert." I feel it—I feel the fire between my legs.

"I-I need to—" I try my best to look at him without breaking eye contact, as my fingers grip tightly on the spoon and crème brûlée ramekin.

He quickens his pace, sucking every now and then, "eat," he orders me and I raise the spoon—now shaking in my hand, to my mouth, eating more.

He's eating me out—devouring every bit of _his_ dessert, making me forget about all the tension in my life, to focus on the tension in my pussy.

I feel my breath heaving, and my eyes rolling back as I try so-so hard not to shut them. "Fuck—just—I need to c—" He delves his tongue into me, "cum!"

He laughs lowly against me, eyeing the crème brûlée like he's telling me to keep going.

His tongue circles my clit and all I can think about is how I am going to _explode_.

I feel my breathing getting heavier. I can't take it anymore. "I have to—ughh"

He pulls away, "shut the fuck up and eat, or I'll make you eat."

He uses his fingers to replace his mouths actions, watching me eat the cream in frustration. 

"Good girl," is all he says, before diving back in between my legs.

I moan in frustration, "please—I can't..."

"There's two more spoons worth of that _delicious_ cream. Eat it and I'll let you cum."

Two more spoons.

Two more fucking spoons.

"Count," he growls against me, when he suddenly starts sucking the life out of me. 

The spoon enters my mouth "one," I pant out, making him go faster.

He keeps his mouth on me, bringing his fingers back to my wetness, helping intensify my arousal. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster—my stomach feels fluttery.

Oh my god he's kissing my clit I can't do this.

"Two," I slam the crème brûlée and spoon on the table

He loosens his grip on my thighs, letting me buck my hips against his mouth. "Now, let me taste that sugar Karkaroff—cum on my tongue."

He licks and strokes and does all the right things, until one movement, one fucking movement, is enough to send a jolt of pleasure enveloping through my core—his fucking teeth.

His teeth graze lightly along my clit, sending ripples through my core.

"Yes—fuck!" I grip onto the sides of the table as I feel my pulses working through my stomach, chest, and thighs.

My muscles contract, and I feel him caressing me with his tongue and fingers through my orgasm, letting me reach my climax. I can feel my eyes water in the overwhelming sensation of pleasure, before the tension loosens, easing my stress, and leaving me feeling like I'm floating on water; free, and at peace.

"That," he pecks the mark on my inner thigh.

"Was," he pecks my wetness.

"Delicious," he places his lips on mine, letting me taste myself, while he tastes the crème brûlée.

"I want you sore," he mumbles on my lips.

"I want to touch you," I whisper against his mouth, moving my hand towards his pants.

His gaze darkens, and a sinister smirk grows on his lips, "you want to touch me?" He tilts he head, watching me nod.

"Desperate whore," he whispers under his breath, pulling my hand away, pinning it on the table.

" _You're_ on the menu tonight," He trails kisses down my jaw, and neck, gently sucking—enough to leave his mark. "Not the other way around."

He grabs the remaining whipped cream, dipping his pinky finger into it, bringing it to my mouth.

Instinctively, I open my mouth, gently licking it off the tip of his finger.

He grins mischievously, pulling his finger away. "Tell me..." He dips his finger in the whipped cream again, bringing it to my mouth again. "What's written on your inner thigh?"

I take the tip of his finger in my mouth, sucking all the whipped cream off the tip, hearing him groan in satisfaction, before he pulls his finger out of my mouth, expecting an answer.

"I asked you a question," he slams the glass of whipped cream on the table, "I expect an answer." He growls in a low tone making me more nervous.

Me, of all people.

 _I_ am nervous.

Un fucking believable.

He grabs my chin, pressing his rings into my jaw as he tilts my head up to meet his eyes, "what. Does. It. Say?" He enunciates each word, moving his face close to mine.

"Say it Karkaroff," he whispers, making me feel his minty breath against my lips.

"D.M's whore." I breath out, biting down on my feminist pride.

The devil in him slowly creeps through.

He smiles, huffing out a laugh.

"Mhmm" He swipes his thumb over my bottom lip, wiping away whipped cream that I didn't realize was there. "Say the _full_ name," he demands me, entertained by my degradation, as he brings his thumb to his mouth, sucking the cream off.

I close my eyes for a moment, calming my breath, before opening my eyes to his starving gaze, and replying, "Draco Malfoy's whore."

He releases a groan, rolling his eyes back in satisfaction, "that name." He grips my jaw tighter, resting his forehead against mine, "that name is _yours_ to say now."

He runs his thumb over my bottom lip, wetting his own. "I want to hear my name in your pretty mouth _over and over_ again while I fuck you through heaven and hell, understand?"

All I can do is nod, with my mouth slightly open not even realizing that I'm not breathing... and that he's taking his belt off, undoing his pants.

"Stupid whore," he snarls darkly, "I said do you understand?"

"Yes." I blurt out.

"Yes what?" He quietly mumbles.

"Yes, _Monsieur_ ," I whisper.

"Give me your hands." He orders me.

I move them towards him and he takes them both, wrapping his belt around my wrists, looping it through the buckle, before pinning them above my head on the glass table. "If you move your arms from here, I'll bind your wrists together for a week, understand?"

I nod my head, too focused on his tip circling my entrance. He gives me a look that tells me he needs a _verbal_ response.

"Yes _Monsieur_ ," I answer him. He groans in with satisfaction, whispering _fuck,_ and without a warning he rams into me.

"Oh fuck—Draco!" I scream out, feeling myself adjust around him. 

"Say—my—name—again," he grunts thrust, after thrust, keeping a finger pressed on each side of my throat.

"Yes—Draco!" I repeat, pausing after each plunge.

He grinds into me, moving deeper and deeper—as much as my body can take until he hits a spot that makes me feel like I just jumped off a cliff.

"Oh my god!" I moan so loud, I pull my head off the table with his hand around my throat, throwing my head back in bliss.

"Don't praise god," He wraps his hand around my hair, pulling me up to his face, "praise me."

He wraps my legs around his waist, rolling his hips into me, sinking deeper, when he suddenly bites my bottom lip, dragging it out. 

"Just like that," I moan, breathily, making him go faster and harder. "Harder—more." Instantly, his eyes lock with mine, and it's like something snaps in them.

"Harder?" He perks up a brow, grinning evilly, "we're just getting started, _love_."

He places his large hands on my hips, pulling me into him before lifting me up, letting me wrap my legs around him as I feel my back collide with the cold glass.

"I want you to feel every inch of my cock buried inside you until your tight pussy can fit me and _only_ me." He fucks himself into me, hard, making me roll my eyes back, supporting my arse with his hands.

"Draco—fuck-fuck-fuck," I forgot how to speak English. He's fucked with my head in more ways than one.

"You still want to see that view you were gawking at when we came here?" He immediately drops me to my feet, turning me around so my back is pressed against him and my front is pressed against the window. 

"Look closely..." I feel the tip of his cold tongue trail along the shell of my ear. "Do you see all those people down there?" He hums against me.

"Y-yes," I feel his hand moving towards my pussy.

"If anyone looks up, they'll see your body pressed against the glass while I fuck you." He breathes against my ear, knowing that it only makes me hornier.

"I don't care," I breath out.

I hear him chuckle lowly, "I know you don't care, you're a little attention whore, aren't you?"

I let out a muffled moan as he snakes his hand from underneath, massaging my folds. "But I do... If anyone— _anyone_ looks up, even for a split second, I will slit their throat."

Out of nowhere, he slaps my arse, making tingles run through my body. "Who's whore are you?"

"Fuck Draco just—" He pulls his hand away and I hear a sucking sound from behind me, before his hand slaps my arse, giving me arousing tingles all throughout my body.

He grabs the back of my neck, pulling my head back. I can feel his lips pecking just below my ear, "who's whore are you Karkaroff?" He whispers.

I roll my eyes back as his hot breath against my ear drives me insane. "Yours."

He chuckles against my ear, "mine—all fucking mine." He takes my belted wrists, pinning them on the glass with one hand.

He slithers his hand around my waist, pulling me in more, letting me feel him positioning his hard cock at the entrance of my pussy. I arch my back instinctively, giving him easier access.

"Welcome to Paris, _chèrie,_ " he snarls with a dark tone. 

"Get used to the view because this won't be your last time here." He slams into me, holding my head down so the side of my face is on the glass, while his other hand pulls me against him.

"Draco!" I can feel my hot breath fanning against me from the glass.

"All—fucking—mine," he claims me, thrusting deeper and deeper. 

The lights of the Eiffel tower blur with the water in my eyes, and seeing the crowd of people at the bottom of the tower, only turns me on more.

It's the risk—the excitement being with him makes me feel. I can never get enough; I just want more.

"My whore wants me to hurt her mhm?" He hums against my hair, "signing the contract like a pathetic slut because you want me to break you?"

He pulls my head back, still plunging his large dick into me, "answer me."

"Yes," I whimper, feeling a myself contracting around him, making him groan.

Both of our breaths get heavy, and his grip on my hands gets harder, pressing them into the glass window. "I don't need four months to break you, Karkaroff."

His hand on my stomach goes down, when I feel him lightly flicking my clit, while he continues to pound into me, "I already have you melting at my fingertips."

There it is—that feeling.

I push myself back against him, clenching my walls.

He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck, and I can hear him whispering unintelligible curses, "fuck—I can feel your contractions."

My body responds quickly to his touch—so quick I feel the tension rising between my legs.

"Draco I'm gonna cum—"

He cuts me off, increasing his speed. "Then fucking cum." He grits out aggressively.

I feel myself slowly heating up against his dick—now throbbing inside me, when we both let out muffled moans.

I feel myself tighten around him, making him groan, before losing all feeling to my legs, throwing my head back against his chest.

"Scream my name, Karkaroff."

I moan out his name, reaching my peak, while he fucks me through my orgasm.

A couple thrusts later and he triggers his own orgasm. Together, we release all of our tension, our cries of pleasure, everything, letting the mind-numbing sensation of our orgasm's crescendo.

We stay there for a moment, his dick still inside me as he pants against my hair, and I against the window.

He made me cum twice.

The most I've ever came was twice—on my own.

He knows my body better than me, and I'd be lying if I said that doesn't scare me.

The last thing I need is my body getting so used to him to the point of no return.

I feel both of our warm liquids running down my legs as he pulls out, unbuckling the belt around my wrists before releasing my hands on the fogged window, now _covered_ in our smudged hand prints.

He pulls down my scrunched-up skirt, before I hear him lifting his pants back up with one hand, stabilizing me with his other on my waist, and turning me around to face him, with my back against the glass.

He leans down, and lets his hair fall in front of his face, placing his forehead against mine as we both try to steady our breaths.

Holy shit... This just happened. I signed the contract...

And we had sex on the Eiffel Tower. 

All my firsts, experienced with him, of all pe

When our breaths fall to a normal pace, he takes out his handkerchief, crouching down to wipe the liquid leaking down my legs.

"Do you still want to look out at that view?" Draco looks down at me, as I nod in response, watching him push back his blond strands, now slightly wavy from our sweat. "We can come back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

He leans down, gently pressing his lips against my ear. "Remember when I said I'd make you cum seven times?"

_"Right now, I want to make you come for all seven days I was gone for."_

He wouldn't...

"You have five more to go; we're not leaving Paris until then."

**✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵**

**I want to be railed on the Eiffel tower like Asya.**

**This chapter was inspired by the meeting scene in Fifty shades of Grey** — **with a little extra** ** _something something._**

 **I** **_love_ ** **foreplay with food so if you don't, too bad because this won't be their last time doing it... MWAHAHAHA**

**Next chapter is going to be ummm... intense, so if you have Asthma, bring your inhaler.**

**Also, I want to clarify a couple things based on some comments I've read:**

**1\. Grindelwald froze his sperm (hence why Dumbledore mentioned Grindy froze his** **_seed_ ** **). So, he had a surrogate mother carry it when it was the right time; that's how Asya was born despite Grindelwald being imprisoned for fifty years.**

**And Dumbledore isn't Asya's father. It was all Grindy's doing. Dumbledore and him were just in love, that's it--no marriage, no nothing between them given the era they were in.**

**2\. Dumbledore said Grindelwald's followers have the Deathly Hallows mark in their skin (like Voldy and his followers), so just like how not everyone with a dark mark is related, not everyone with the deathly hallows mark is related. Meaning Zane and Asya are NOT RELATED. This is an incest free zone.**


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